How to become an iOS developer:

1) Upgrade to XCode 4.
2) Be unable to find install for XCode 4 because it's restricted to only licensed developers.
3) Buy a 1yr developer license for $99.
4) Wait 6 hours for authentication code.
5) Wait until Monday because the authentication code doesn't work and tech support is closed on the weekends.
6) Download XCode 4 but realize that it now requires Snow Leopard.
7) Go to an Apple outlet store to purchase Snow Leopard, but be told that outlet stores no longer carry Snow Leopard.
8a) Buy Snow Leopard online, which means waiting up to 5 business days because Apple has to physically ship the install cd to you instead of letting you digitally download it for some reason OR
8b) Break down and borrow a friend's copy of the install CD.
9) FINALLY install XCode 4 after finally upgrading.
10) XCode 4 crashes because your laptop is probably too old.
11) （╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻