Great Simpsons Quotes And Moments...

[StAn|SeRv]

Okay......we all know the animated cartoon The Simpsons are, and about 95% of people on the forum probably enjoy watching them.

So post some of your favorite quotes and moments onto this thread...

Quote:

Homer: "Why does Maggie have to take injections for diseases she doesn't even have ?"

I'll think of more later.

[Assassin]

duffman quotes are always gold....

"Duffman can't breathe......OOOOOOOHH NOOOOO!!!!"

"Thats one mug u dont wanna chug! OOOOOHH YAAAAA!!"

and ofcourse mr. burns...

"theres a NEW mexico now?" (i think that was him....might have been homer)

[Swallow Your Soul]

<u> Ralph Wiggum </u>

&quot;Hi Lisa, hi super nintendo chalmers&quot;

&quot;I dressed myself&quot;

&quot;Thats where I saw the leprechaun...he told me to burn things&#33;&quot;

I&#39;m glad no-ones mentioned my favourite bit yet...I saw it yesterday and it was still well funny:

Homer is in the back garden and is trying to stop swearing (with the swear jar). He is building a dog house and smashes his thumb with the hammer and says something like

&quot;oh....fudge....thats......broken&quot;

...then he steps on a board with a nail in it, which goes right through his foot

&quot;fiddley-dee...that will require a tetanous shot&#33;&quot;

Hard to explain, but it was well funny...

Then theres all the classic ones like where he falls out of the ambulance over the cliff in the first season...

[sangai]

homer:i need some fuel for me mule,gas for me ass

homer with broken jaw:im horrneee

marget:what ever you said im sure it was butiful

mister burns at the mayo clinic filing out info sheet:cause of parents death: replies:got in my way

homer spining a glob and stops it with a finger:U R GAY really spelled uraguay in brazil. and laughs about sayin u r gay

bart :well no one has to draw me a picture
milhouse: well i already did

comic book guy:but aquaman you cannot marry a woman without gills your from two different worlds :looks up from his comic: oh ive wasted my life

comic book guy running in the marathon and then falls into a hole:alas my arch enemy has found out my only weakness

comic book guy in a protapotty after homer recks it: alas i will have to find a new fortress of solitude

comicbook guy:this is a job for green lantarn iron man and maybe the flash
otto:what about super man
comic book guy:chaa amatuer

[PLasK]

From a burning robot in simpsons


&quot;why was i program to feel pain?&quot;

he ownz ^^

[Jman]

homer: &quot;Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend the rules a little in order to hold our own.&quot;

&quot;Remember as far as anyone knows, we&#39;re a nice normal family&quot;

&quot;Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you&#39;d step over your own mother just to get one&#33; But you can&#39;t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman&#33;&quot; http://www.gotwoot.net/forum/html/emoticons/laugh.gif

&quot;Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.&quot;

[EnergyCallingMe]

me fail english thats impeessible

[Raven]

Oh where do I start, I know &#39;em all.......


H: &quot;Marge, will you ask Lisa to pass me the syrup?&quot;

L: &quot;Bart, tell Dad I will only pass him the syrup if it&#39;s not going to be used on any meat products.&quot;

B: &quot;You dunking your sausage in that syrup, homeboy?&quot;

H: &quot;Marge, please tell Bart I only want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.&quot;

M: &quot;Tell him yourself, you&#39;re ignoring Lisa, not Bart.&quot;

H: &quot;Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.&quot;

M: &quot;You&#39;re not not talking to me either, and secondly I heard what you said&quot;

H: &quot;Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case&#33;&quot;

B: &quot;Uh, Dad, Lisa&#39;s the one you&#39;re not talking to.&quot;

H: &quot;Bart, go to your room&#33;&quot;

L: &quot;Why don&#39;t you just eat him?&quot;

H: &quot;I don&#39;t need any serving suggestions from YOU... you BBQ wrecking know-nothing know-it-all&#33;&quot;

L: &quot;That&#39;s it&#33; I can&#39;t live in a house with this prehistoric carnivore&#33; I am OUTTA here&#33;&quot;

*She leaves*
*Pause*

H: &quot;That&#39;s it, go to your room&#33;&quot;

[DB_Hunter]

Long time ago so don&#39;t remember it perfectly:

From the stone-cutters ep:

At dinner table:

M: Homer why are you dressed like that?
H: Oh err... I&#39;m going out.
M: Homer you are not going to stalk Lenny and Carl.

After dinner is finished Homer get&#39;s up.

M: Homer where are you going?
H: I&#39;m...... going........ to stalk......... Lenny and Carl.......

D&#39;oh&#33;

[samsonlonghair]

I would certainly hope no one has forgotten the Guatemalen insanity peppers.
Homer: &quot;I hope I didn&#39;t brain my damage&quot;
That was one of the funniest episodes.

Other good quotes:
Groundskeeper Willy: &quot;there&#39;s nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scottsman&#33;&quot;

Sideshow Bob: &quot;No children have ever meddled with the republican party and lived to tell about it.&quot;

EnergyCallingMe, that quote was by Ralph Wiggum and it should say: &quot;Me fail English? That&#39;s <u>unpossible</u>&#33;&quot;

[KakashiSensei]

I always liked the Homer line

&quot;you can do it three way....The right way, the wrong way or the Max Power way&quot;
Lisa says &quot;hey dad isnt the max power way just like the wrong way&quot;
Homer &quot; Yes but a whole lot faster&quot;

Or Bill Clinton

&quot;Oh no Quebecs got the bomb&quot;

[Jman]

<u>Homer:</u>
&quot;D&#39;oh&#33;&#33;&#33;&quot;

&quot;Bart, with &#036;10,000, we&#39;d be millionaires&#33; We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love&#33;&quot;

&quot;That&#39;s it&#33; You people have stood in my way long enough. I&#39;m going to clown college&#33;&quot;

&quot;You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is &#39;never try&#39;.&quot;

&quot;I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t....I mean s-m-A-r-t.&quot;

&quot;Ha ha&#33; Look at this country&#33; ? U R Gay&#33;? Ha ha&#33;&quot; (looking at Uruguay on the globe).

&quot;Don&#39;t let Krusty&#39;s death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow&#33; Well, good night.

&quot;English, pfft what do I need that for, I&#39;m never going to England&quot;

&#39;I&#39;m normally not a praying man, but if you&#39;re up there, please save me Superman&#33;&quot;
- Homer

Stealing? How could you?&#33; Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain what’s-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughin’, did you?”
- Homer


Homer: Well Marge, have you ever seen a field glow like that?
Marge: It&#39;s eerily beautiful, but are you sure this is safe?
Homer: Of course not. But you know something? Sometimes you have to break the rules to free your heart.
Marge: You got that from a movie poster.
Homer: Well, when there&#39;s nothing left to believe in, believe in hope
Marge: Where&#39;d you get that from?
Homer: From the producers from Waiting to Exhale.


&quot;Come on Milhouse, there’s no such thing as a soul&#33; It’s just something they made up to scare kids, like the Boogie Man or Michael Jackson.”
- Bart

[StAn|SeRv]

Homer: &quot;I&#39;m no missionary. I don&#39;t even believe in Jebus. Ahhh... Save me Jebus&#33;&quot;

[Kagari]

http://www.gotwoot.net/forum/html/emoticons/mf_laughbounce2.gif Homer:

Homer no function beer well without.


Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.


Homer: &quot;Yo da man Carl&#33; I believe you can fly&#33;&quot;
Carl: &quot;I&#39;m so sick of everyone assuming I&#39;m good at basketball because I&#39;m African American&#33; (dunks from foul line, breaks backboard) Go Carl, go carl, its my birthday, threepete&#33; You&#39;ve got mail baby&quot;

&quot;The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother. I call him Gamblor, and its time to snatch her from his neon claws&#33;&quot;

&quot;It&#39;s like something out of that twilighty show about that zone.&quot;

[samsonlonghair]

I can&#39;t remember exactly which Halloween episode this came from, but it was when they parodied The Shining.

Willy: &quot;You&#39;ve got the shinning.&quot;
Bart: &quot;Don&#39;t you mean Shining?
Willy: &quot;Quiet Boy&#33; Do you want to get sued?&quot;

Later on in the same episode Marge looks for Homer and finds that he&#39;s been typing on a typewriter.

Marge: &quot;What he&#39;s typed will be a window into his warped mind&quot; (she looks at the paper) &quot;It says &#39;feelin&#39; fine&#39; that&#39;s a relief.&quot; (She looks at the walls to see &quot;No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy&quot; scrawled everywhere.)
Homer: (stepping out from the shadows) &quot;Well, what do you think Marge? I&#39;m thinking of of calling it No TV and no beer make Homer something something.
Marge: &quot;Go crazy?&quot;
Homer: &quot;Don&#39;t mind if I do&#33;&quot;

[Raven]

Ned: Homer, did you take flowers from my garden?

Homer: Can&#39;t make a float without flowers&#33;

Ned: But did you have to salt the earth so nothing would ever grow again?

Homer: heh heh heh............... yeah

[JessiA]

Apu: Shut Up

Flanders: Blahblahblah

Apu: Shut Up&#33;

Flanders: Can&#39;t put a price on a miracle&#33;

Apu: I can&#39;t believe you don&#39;t shut up&#33;


=-=-=-=


Voice Over: COPS in Springfield

Bad Cops, Bad Cops, Bad Cops~ Bad Cops, Bad Cops, Bad Cops..Springfield Cops are on the case but what do you expect for the money we make? Whether in a car on a horse, we don&#39;t mind using excessive force~ Bad Cops, Bad Cops~

Wiggum: Allright Boys, time to bag us a cattle rustler&#33;

Mr. Lovejoy: What in God&#39;s name are you doing?

Wiggum: ...Isn&#39;t this... 742 Evergreen Terrace?

Mr. Lovejoy: Noo, that&#39;s next door.

Cows moo.

Car squeals and drives off.

Snake: Close, but no donut, cops&#33;

Wiggum: This is Papa Bear, put out an APB for a male suspect driving a... car of some sort. Heading in the direction of, uh.. that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless, repeat, hatless.

=-=-=-=-=

Moe: Phone call for Al, Al Coholic.

Moe: ....Jock.. Strap.

Moe: .... I.P. Freely here?

Moe: Hey, is there a Butz here? Seymour Butz?

Moe: I need Amanda Hugankiss.

=-=-=-=-=

Homer: Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa(continue for 3 secs)aaaap

=-=-=-=-=

Homer: You suck didly uck Flanders&#33;

=-=-=

These all came from various MP3s I have. Blame them, not me&#33;

[Raven]

Bart: Mum, these school uniforms suck.

Marge: Bart, where do you pick up words like that?

Homer: (on phone) Oh yeah Moe, that team sure did suck last night. I&#39;ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

[JessiA]

ROFL, I think I&#39;ve got that one somewhere&#33;

[Uberbaka]

My personal favorite:

Homer: Kids, leave the room.

Homer: F[interrupted by church bells, birds flying etc]&#33;&#33;&#33;


http://www.gotwoot.net/forum/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[jing]

Ned: Okali Dokali
Homer: Hello my name is Mr.Burns
Mail Person: Okay mr.brns what is ur first name
Homer: I don&#39;t know.

[Assassin]

homer, the nite before his operation: dont worry kids, i wont die....that only happens to bad ppl

bart: what about abraham lincoln?

homer:.....he sold poisoned milk to skool children

------

krusty, judging springfield movie festival (about burns&#39; film) : lets just say it moved me.......TO A BIGGER HOUSE&#33;

.....oh, i said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet.

-------

Lisa: dont u remember how u felt on ur first day of skool

milhouse: not as long as i keep taking these *holds up pills*

-------

chief wiggum: sorry, u got the wrong number. this is 91...2

-------

krusty on the &quot;sperm machine&quot; at the something-toruim: hey baby, remember me

------

homer: gaim? whats a gaim?......*walks in*.....OH&#33; A Gaim&#33;

-------

homer: aw its a boy....and WHAT A BOY&#33;

dr. Hibert: umm, no mr. simpson, thats the umbilical (sp) cord

[Raven]

I don&#39;t remember the exact wording of this, but here goes:

Judge: Doctor Nick Riviera, you have been charged with the crime of performing major operations with a knife and fork.

Nick: But I cleaned them with my napkin&#33;

[sangai]

the sympsons are travling to brawnson to retrieve grampa and they stop in the wrong town where every one looks like charles brawnson anyways the qoute is

brawnson kid: hey ma can i get a cookie

brawnson mom:no dice

brawnson kid:this ain&#39;t over

thats it for now

[StAn|SeRv]

Some great quotes

Trying is the first step towards failure-Homer

Homer: &quot;And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?&quot;

Homer: &quot;Don&#39;t let Krusty&#39;s death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow&#33; Well, good night. (great one )

Homer: &quot;Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try


Bart: &quot;What&#39;s Santa&#39;s Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he&#39;s trying to jump over, but he can&#39;t quite make it

Homer: &quot;Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.&quot;

Homer: &quot;Ha ha&#33; Look at this country&#33; ? R U Gay&#33;? Ha ha&#33;&quot; (looking at Uruguay on the globe)

Homer: &quot;Now, son, you don&#39;t want to drink beer. That&#39;s for daddies and kids with fake IDs.&quot;

Bart: &quot;There&#39;s no such thing as a soul. It&#39;s just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson

[Raven]

Lisa: What do the lyrics &quot;yvan eht nioj&quot; mean?

Homer: Oh Lisa, they&#39;re not supposed to mean anything, it&#39;s just nonsense. Like &quot;rama-dama-dingdong&quot;, or &quot;Give peace a chance&quot;&#33;

[pandaexpress79]

ok the food chain film in lisa&#39;s class was funny the gorilla reaching for bananas and then a shark eating him then the dog catching a frisbee...

Homer: Lisa you don&#39;t win friends with salad
Bart: you don&#39;t win friends with salad
BART AND HOMER: you don&#39;t win friends with salad,you don&#39;t win friends with salad

moe: i don&#39;t like our new general robert e lee
apu: THE SOUTH SHALL COME AGAIN&#33;

SIMPSONS TORRENTS ('http://www.robotolabs.cjb.net/')

frink: oh,eh,GAILVEN&#33;
frink: those monkeys are going to pay

[ad4mz41]

Haha Simpsons quotes are so funny. Anyone got anymore funny ones, I want to read them. I know alot but I only remember a couple.


Ned Flanders is Noah From Noah&#39;s Ark

Ned: I have brought two of every animal on the boat. And to make sure nothing bad happens I brought all males...... hey you two zebras what are you doing back there&#33;?&#33;

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Homer sees Marges weird breakfast

Lisa: Don&#39;t worry Dad I&#39;ll help you get out of this... hey dad want to go see my science fair project?

Homer: No Lisa, but I sure don&#39;t want to eat this crappy breakfast.

Same episode

Dr Nick: Inflammable means flammable? What a country&#33;

----------------------------------------------------------------

Episode when they were moving the Springfield Isotopes

Homer: Well sometimes I&#39;ll be quirky. I&#39;ll be quirky? Albaquerque&#33;

[Uzumaki Naruto]

ahhh the elevator seen wit mindy that hot chick

anyways here it goes
ahhhhh, i mean heeeeellllo that was the funniest shit ive seen

hmm i think ima order me a tab, pushes the tab button onthe keyboard hey wheres my TAB

[Uzumaki Naruto]

this from the eps where they had the beer pouring contest here it goes cant remember it well but i think its right

titana: but duff man usaid that if i sleep wit u i didnt have to touch any of these filth men ( i thnk its right )

Duff man: duff man says alot of things OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[umdiddly]

Wiggum: Sugar&#39;s made my Ralphy hyper.
Ralph: I&#39;m happy and angry&#33;&#33;&#33;

[hachimitsu]

The one where Homer becomes a missionary to avoid paying his pledge to PBS (an all-around super funny ep)

after the failure of the Lucky Savage, he finishes the chapel and says something like:

I may not know much about God, but I&#39;d have to say we built Him a pretty nice cage.

In that same ep Bart is talking to Homer using a Hamm radio

B: Dad, are you licking toads?
H: I&#39;m not not licking toads...


SAVE ME JEBUS&#33;

[pandaexpress79]

Apu: ok one doughnut with sprinkles, UH&#33;, wait a minute a twizzler is not a sprinkle, a jolly rancher is not a sprinkle A MOUNDS BAR is not a sprinkle maybe in some sang-ger-la-la land but not here sir i have to ask you to get out&#33;,..thank you come again...


skinner: and now uter who did charlie and the chocolate factory
uter: i begged you to let me go first i begged you

[Vicious]

i just thought of some of them, im not to sure if im 100% accurate on the wording.


-homer looks at keyboard: &quot;what is this? keterl? (he&#39;s looking at CTRL)&quot;

i think he also said: &quot;Where&#39;s the &#39;any&#39; key?&quot;

-the news reporter talking about homer when he was filling an important sheet for lisa: &quot;where is was written &#39;do not write here.&#39; homer wrote &#39;ok&#39;.

-halloween episode when grounds keeper willy was killing students in their sleep:

Lisa: Now we have to fear of dying when we sleep&#33;
Grandpa: Welcome to my world&#33; *falls asleep*

-when homer&#39;s mom came back and they&#39;re all talking at the dinner table.

homer&#39;s mom: &quot;if i move here where can i live?&quot;
lisa: &quot;you can stay at grandpa&#39;s house.&quot;
/everyone laughs

grandpa: &quot;hahahaha I&#39;m a living joke.&quot;

that&#39;s a classic.

[r3n]

&quot;OH MY GOD THIS MAN IS MY EXACT DOUBLE...*GASP* THAT DOG HAS A PUFFY TAIL HIHI HERE PUFF HERE PUFF AHI HIHI&quot; - Homer Simpson

&quot;Homer, you&#39;re only hearing what you want to hear.&quot;
&quot;Thanks, Marge, I would love an omlette right about now&quot;

&quot;No TV and Beer make homer go something something&quot;
&quot;crazy?&quot;
&quot;crazy? dont mind if i do.. blaurgfjkse&quot;

Ralph:&quot;My parents won&#39;t let me use scissors.&quot;
(Children Laughing at Ralph)
Ms. Hoover:&quot;The children are right to laugh at you Ralph. These things couldn&#39;t cut butter.&quot;

Ralph:&quot;Chocolate microscopes?&quot;

Ralph:&quot;Ms. Hoover?&quot;
Ms. Hoover:&quot;Yes, Ralph.&quot;
Ralph:&quot;My worm crawled in my mouth and I ate it. Can i have a new one?&quot;
Ms. Hoover:&quot;No Ralph, there are no more worms anymore. Just try to sleep while the other children are learning.&quot;
Ralph:&quot;Oh boy sleep&#33; That&#39;s when i&#39;m a viking.&quot;

last 1 is my fav lol http://www.gotwoot.net/forum/html/emoticons/mf_w00t1.gif

[migawari]

http://www.gotwoot.net/forum/html/emoticons/tongue.gif http://www.avast-ye.com/forums/uploads/post-4-1074521469.jpg

[Assassin]

the insanity pepers ep..

homer: and that talking cayote must&#39;ve been that talking dog
dog: find your soul mate homer
homer: wait a minute....dogs can&#39;t talk *looks at dog*
dog: woof
homer: damn rite&#33;

.....................................

ralph, at camp krusty...

*looks at fake krusty* &quot;he&#39;s funny, but not haha funny&quot; (its one of those, gotta b there things)

.....................................

homer hiding form pbs...

homer: sanctuary&#33;&#33; saaanctuarryyy&#33;
rev. lovejoy: oh, y did i teach him that word.
homer: u gotta help me....pbs is after me. thier blood thirsty pursuit is made possible by a grant from the *somethign* foundation.........i&#39;ll do whatever u want, i&#39;ll help with ur next charity scam&#33;
rev. lovejoy: the word is &quot;drive&quot; homer.
homer: sure sure, bobs ur uncle&#33;

.......................................

sideshow bob:.....and coveralls that dont quite COVER ALL&#33; (in the ep with cecil)

......................................

skinner remembering vietnaam: no, jhonny.....jhonny&#33; JHONNNNNYYYYYYY&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;

[Raven]

Homer: You don&#39;t know what it&#39;s like, Marge&#33; I&#39;m the one out there every day putting his ass on the line&#33; And I&#39;m not out of order. You&#39;re out of order&#33; The whole freakin&#39; system is out of order&#33; You want the truth? YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YOU CAN&#39;T HANDLE THE TRUTH&#33; Coz when you reach over and put your hand in a pile of goo that used to be your best friend&#39;s face, you&#39;ll know what to do&#33; Forget it Marge, it&#39;s Chinatown&#33;

Marge: Homer, don&#39;t ever tell them personal stuff about me again&#33;

Homer: (scared) yes ma&#39;am&#33;

[Destiny]

Hm... once in the episode where they got stranded in japan, and was gutting fish for money.

Bart: (gutting fish) &quot;Knife goes in, guts come out. Knife goes in, guts come out.&quot;
Fish: &quot;Spare me my life, and i shall grant you three wi-&quot; *shnk&#33;* &quot;aaaarhh&#33;&#33;&#33;&quot;
Bart: &quot;Knife goes in, guts come out.&quot;

[Uzumaki Naruto]

this is the eps where homer trys to play mr burns and get the evil letter that he sent to burns anyways

Homer: hello, my name is mr burns, i think u have a letter for me.
the guy at the front counter: ok mr burns wuts ur first name.
Homer: i dont know. he runs out of the post office

[Jman]

Marge: The plant called and said if you don&#39;t come in tomorrow, don&#39;t bother coming in Monday.
Homer: Woohoo, four day weekend&#33;

[Raven]

Bart: I don&#39;t want Homer to come on this trip with me. So I&#39;ll ask him and he&#39;ll say no. Then it&#39;ll be his fault.

Homer: I don&#39;t want to go on this trip, so if he asks me, I&#39;ll just say yes&#33;

Homer&#39;s Brain: Wait a minute, are you sure that&#39;s how this sort of thing works?

Homer: Shut up brain, or I&#39;ll stab you with a cue tip&#33;

[jing]

Homer : I am evil homer, i am evil homer&#33;

[ad4mz41]

&quot;I bet Einstein turned all sorts of different colors before he invented the light bulb.&quot; - Homer



This is the ep with those characters from the X-Files

Lady:&quot;Now Homer, we are going to ask you a few questions on this lie detector test. You will answer each question truthfully. Do you understand?&quot;

Homer:&quot;Yes.&quot;

*the lie detector machine explodes*

[Destiny]

Rex Banner (looking down towards Springfield): &quot;You&#39;re out there somewhere Beer Barron, and im going to get you.&quot;
Homer (Somehwere in the distance): <span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>&quot;No you won&#39;t.&quot;</span>
Rex Banner: &quot;Yes i will.&quot;
Homer: <span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>&quot;...D&#39;oh...&quot;</span>

[migawari]

Daredevil talking to Bart: Bones heal, and chicks dig scars&#33;

[migawari]

School Guide: Do you have any plans for the future?

Teenage Homer: I&#39;m going to drink a lot of beer and stay up all night&#33;

[Assassin]

Marine officer: ok simpson&#33; u dont like me and i dont like u.....&#33;

homer: i like you

marine officer: ....ok, fine, u like me. but i dont like u&#33;

homer: maybe u&#39;d like me if u go to know me better.

..............................

marine captain: Im a man of few words.......any questions?

homer: umm, is the poop deck really what i think it is?

marine captain: HAHAHA......i like the cut of ur jib.

homer: whats a jib?

marine captain: HAHA&#33; sergeant, promote that man&#33;

...................................

*later the same ep*

homer: hmm...what would the captain do in my place?

captian, in the torpedo tube: <span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>Dont fire the torpedo&#39;s&#33;</span>

homer: Fire the torpedos&#33;

captain: ahhhhhhhhh........*THUMP*

junior officers: sir&#33; they&#39;ve fired a commanding officer at us&#33;

Senior officer: they wanna fire at us?&#33; we&#39;ll respond in kind&#33;

*junior officers start dragging him away*

Senior officer: Not me u idiots, a torpedo&#33;

..............................................

*moe hooked up the a lie detector*

police: did u have a grudge against mr. burns?

moe: no....*BEEEP*......alrite, fine, maybe i did. but i didn&#39;t kill him&#33;....*DING*

police: ok sir, ur free to go.

moe: good, cuz i got a hot date tonite....*BEEEP*......A date....*BEEEP*.....dinner with friend.....*BEEEP*.....dinner alone....*BEEEP*....watching TV alone.....*BEEEP*......ALRITE&#33; im gonna sit at home and ogle(sp) the ladies in the victoria&#39;s secret catalouge.....*BEEEP*......<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>sears catalouge</span>........*DING*

moe: now would u unhook this thing already&#33; i dont deserve this kind of shabby treatment&#33;......*BEEEP*

[Raven]

Sideshow Bob: Madame, your children are no more................................ than little trouble makers.

Marge: Even Lisa?

Sideshow Bob: <u>ESPECIALLY</u> Lisa&#33; And <u>ESPECIALLY</u> Bart&#33;

[Youko]

Sorry I&#39;m gonna have to add this in
Family Guy&gt;Simpsons

Heh.. It&#39;s really odd.. I&#39;m not sure why I though it was funny.. it sure isn&#39;t now when I think back..
but the simpsons thing that made me laught the most:

Homer touched on of those electricity ball things that make your hair go all funky. http://www.gotwoot.net/forum/html/emoticons/blink.gif http://www.gotwoot.net/forum/html/emoticons/unsure.gif Not sure.. but that was the funiest simpons moment I had.

[villin]

Moe: This thing will flash fry a buffalo in 40 seconds.
Homer: But I want it now.


Lady: Did something crawl down your throat and die?
Barney: It didn&#39;t die


Moe:(hands Barney a beer) That&#39;ll be &#036;2000.00
Barney: What&#33;&#33; (hands over the cash) This had better be the best beer I ever tasted. (Gulps down beer) You got lucky.

[Baka-chan]

Homer: Ooh, the mafia guy&#39;s mad&#33; what are ya gonna do, call your god father?

[Assassin]

lenny: jee homer, i thought a guy with 2 wives would be happy.

carl: no, ur thinking about a guy 2 knives.

moe *holding 2 knives* : i gotta tell ya....this is pretty great&#33;

[Uzumaki Kakashi]

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Assassin &#064; Jan 23 2004, 12:32 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>
*moe hooked up the a lie detector*

police: did u have a grudge against mr. burns?

moe: no....*BEEEP*......alrite, fine, maybe i did. but i didn&#39;t kill him&#33;....*DING*

police: ok sir, ur free to go.

moe: good, cuz i got a hot date tonite....*BEEEP*......A date....*BEEEP*.....dinner with friend.....*BEEEP*.....dinner alone....*BEEEP*....watching TV alone.....*BEEEP*......ALRITE&#33; im gonna sit at home and ogle(sp) the ladies in the victoria&#39;s secret catalouge.....*BEEEP*......<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>sears catalouge</span>........*DING*

moe: now would u unhook this thing already&#33; i dont deserve this kind of shabby treatment&#33;......*BEEEP* </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>
thats hilarious

i love it

also i do think fmaily guy was funnier b/c every single episode was funny unlike simpsons where some wernt that funny. plus i think fmaily guy is smarter humor and is less slapstick but more saracstic.

[villin]

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Uzumaki Kakashi @ Feb 9 2004, 12:45 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> also i do think fmaily guy was funnier b/c every single episode was funny unlike simpsons where some wernt that funny. plus i think fmaily guy is smarter humor and is less slapstick but more saracstic. </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>
Nah, your just thinking about Stewie. He was the only thing good about that show.


Another Simpsons quote:

Episode where Bart cries wolf

(Willie and the wolf sitting on the grass after Willy beat the shit out of the wolf)

Auck, don&#39;t feel too bad Wolfie. I was wrestling wolves while you were still sucking on your mothers teet.

[JusDaMan]

How can any1 forget the most famous quote of them all&#33;

Homer: mmmmmmmmm donuts
Mr burns: smithers who is that bumbling num scull
smithers: thats homer simpson from 7G

I think it was britney spears...
WOOOO YEA ALL RIGHT&#33; NOW A NEW SONG FORM P SQUARE, Thats the party possie&#33; wooooo yea&#33; all right&#33;
(i forgot the whole song)
yvan eht nioj Yvan eht nioj

Nsync Justin timberlake: End it wif the matrix (jumps) 1 of the nsync member falls

[r3n]

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Youko @ Feb 4 2004, 04:21 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Sorry I&#39;m gonna have to add this in
Family Guy&gt;Simpsons

Heh.. It&#39;s really odd.. I&#39;m not sure why I though it was funny.. it sure isn&#39;t now when I think back..
but the simpsons thing that made me laught the most:

Homer touched on of those electricity ball things that make your hair go all funky. http://www.gotwoot.net/forum/html/emoticons/blink.gif http://www.gotwoot.net/forum/html/emoticons/unsure.gif Not sure.. but that was the funiest simpons moment I had. </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>
its tru http://www.gotwoot.net/forum/html/emoticons/tongue.gif family guy &gt; simpsons

quote from family guy -

its the morning after quagmire&#39;s had a 1 night stand, hot chick is still in bed. quagmire walks into the room in his dressing gown.

hot chick - &quot;mark honey, ive got a question for you; what do you do for a living?&quot;

quagmire - &quot;ive got a question for you; what are you still doing here&#33;&quot;

[Uzumaki Naruto]

moe: how do u like it when some1 puts a sticker on ur face( noe slaps the sticker on duff mans face)

duff man: duff man cant breath OOOOO NOOOO

[Swallow Your Soul]

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Uzumaki Kakashi @ Feb 8 2004, 10:45 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> also i do think fmaily guy was funnier b/c every single episode was funny unlike simpsons where some wernt that funny. plus i think fmaily guy is smarter humor and is less slapstick but more saracstic. </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>
Family Guy has smarter humour than the Simpsons?? Quite the reverse methinks, I don&#39;t see political satire and social commentary in Family Guy anywhere near as much as in the Simpsons...Family Guy is definitely more adult though in terms of content (though I suppose thats pretty obvious&#33;). Family Guy does a lot of surreal stuff that used to happen quite a bit in the Simpsons but the Simpsons writers stopped doing that stuff after a while...

Simpsons &gt; Futurama &gt; Family Guy overall...family guy is the funniest but Futurama and Simpsons are more entertaining...pisses me off that theres too many jokes about American TV (in family guy) and that since you pretty much need to live over there to get them...

aaanyway...

2nd funniest thing (besides where homer steps on a huge nail) on simpsons that I saw again yesterday is when the Daredevil guy is going to jump over a huge pool of water on a motorbike, and the pool is full of dangerous stuff like electric eels, sharks, and a lion&#33; He makes the jump then goes back up the ramp, stops on the edge of it and waves to the crowd, then falls in, gets mangled, is crawling out when the lion pounces on him from out of the water...very cheesy by Simpsons standards but it was well funny...

[Fobicus]

Ralph (tarring the roof of the simpsons house):Mr simpson....the fumes are making me dizzy

Homer: yeah it&#39;ll do that.


Homer lookin up praying to god
Homer: God what should i do?
Marge:thats a waffle stuck on the ceiling.(rips it down with a broom stick)
Homer:(catches it)I know i shouldnt eat thee.........*chomp* sacrilicious....

[Uzumaki Naruto]

this was from the eps when hollywood came to town looking casting parts for radioactive mans little parter

bart: look out radio active man

holly wood guys&quot;: wut was that say that again

bart: look out radio active man

: that was great u would have got the part if u were just a inch taller NEXT

[MadMachine]

The ep where Homers Grandma visits

Wording may not be 100%
Grandpa: I am the Lindberg Baby&#33; Wah Wah
Agent: Are you senile or are you trying to stall us?
Grandpa: A little from column A and a little from column B

Agent: Do you recognize this woman? (shows a young pic of homers grandma)
Taxi Driver: No I haven’t seen her.
Agent: According to out database she would be about 25 years older (shows a computer with the number 25)

When Burns is outside the Simpson’s house he puts on a tape
(plays YMCA)
Smithers: Ohh I must have taped over that side…
Burn switches tape and it plays flight of the Valkeries
Funny situation

[Raven]

Actually it was Homer&#39;s mother, not grandmother. http://www.gotwoot.net/forum/html/emoticons/tongue.gif



Homer: Hmmm, what&#39;s this? Rusty coat hangers? *gasp* old newspapers? *gasp* expired medicine? *Breathes heavily* Ok Homer, get this stuff inside your house straight away&#33; *Picks stuff up but drops some* Homer, you&#39;re not listening&#33;

[[tachi]]

I can't remember the episode this is from. It may have been one with some hollywood people, no idea which one.

Lady: "Don't you care about the environment?"

Homer: "What kind of mint?"

I still laugh at that one.

[sangai]

simpsons episode 300

bart:im also going on the skewed tour
lisa: talking
bart:yeah *lifts shirt to expose multiple nipple peircings
marges:*shrieking
bart:relax there clip ons

[Anbu Hatake Kakashi]

haha i dunno if anyone metioned this


Bart and the Miacheal Jackson wannabe: Lisa it's your birthday happy birthday lisa!

[[tachi]]

After the attemtped baptismal episode:

Homer: HA HA. Old painty can Ned...

Comic Book Guy has a heart attack episode:

Bart: It wasn't Dad's fault, the gorilla tricked him.

[x hypz x]

"funny city names! walla walla! cucomonga! SEATTLE! ahahah seattle..."

[bwabes]

Insurance Guy: Now before I give you this check, this place "Moe's" you were at just before the accident, is this a business of some sort?

Homer's Brain: Don't tell him it was a bar. Ah! But what else is open at night?

Homer: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

Homer's Brain: Hehe. I would've never thought of that.

Incidentally, I am the only one who thinks the Simpsons just nosedived after the 10th season? The more recent episodes suck. The only reason people still watch is because it's the Simpsons. If the show had started in the 11th season, it would've been cancelled after a few episodes.

[Swallow Your Soul]

The more recent ones are definitely not as good...I dunno where it started getting worse but I don't usually watch the new episodes, the one where they went to England was quite good though...

Personally I love the really early ones - Bart The General and No Disgrace Like Home are probably my favourite episodes (I had them on video when I was like 10 years old)...nostalgia rules...

[sangai]

maybe its cause as we get older the show is losing its appeal

although i still love the new episodes

also i wish they would try a new style of drawing like make bart older (15) lisa (older) and maggie older and talking

maybe that would help

[Raven]

It's still a great show, but it's lost the charm it used to have in the earlier seasons. Everything up to about season 8 or 9 was just pure gold.... after that, it starts to go downhill slowly.

The humour went from being really clever to just relying on silly visual gags, or stuff that doesn't make you think. Homer for instance went from an average American Joe being stupid and funny (I'm not saying all Americans are stupid, btw.) to a full grown man unintentionally acting like a kid to be funny, relying on acting like a baby, singing in a dumb voice, etc.

So it went from clever, well written humour that made you think, to silly, childish humour with some of the main characters acting dumb all the time. It used to poke fun at things in life, now all it does is create scenarios that most likely wouldn't happen. Maybe they just ran out of ideas, or changed primary writers. Who knows.

Don't get me wrong, I'll never stop watching it. I just don't have the absolute obsession I used to have in the earlier seasons.

A lot of series end when they're still on a high note. IMHO, The Simpsons should have ended a while ago, but they've left it too late. They should have ended around season 9 or 10, but now they've got nowhere to go but down. Unless they pick up their act, which they won't. It definitely should be over.

[Swallow Your Soul]

Yeah it would be difficult to keep finding jokes after about 15 or 16 seasons...they don't have as good stories as they used to...they've ran out of small family style stories as they've pretty much gone everywhere they could...its much more joke driven which is still funny but not as good...the fact that the older ones had good down to earth stories was the reason why I prefer the Simpsons to other comedy shows like Family Guy (which rocks but while it does have good replay value it doesn't come close to the Simpsons)...

What annoys me is that Fox cancelled Family Guy and Futurama which were both great shows and were both relatively young with plenty of new ground to explore, and yet they gave the Simpsons extra series despite the fact that that show has kinda been done to death...well at least they're bringing Family Guy back, but theres still no plans to bring back Futurama as far as I know...

[Raven]

Depends how well the Futurama dvds sell, seeing as that's what clinched it for Family Guy. Here's hoping!

[Swallow Your Soul]

Yeah, I hope so, I dunno about how they sell in the US but they seem to sell by the shitload over here (at least on Play anyway...). They should sell even more now seeing as they've dropped the price on loads of comedy box sets to some ridiculously low price (damn them - i had to pay like twice the amount! ah well...I still got them pretty cheap i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif)

[Mut]

last night's simpsons had a pretty funny part.

mr. burns: my my young beethoven, you are truly amazing. i will consider all other music obsolete.
nelson: HA HA HA HA...HA HA HA HA... (in that famous beethoven song's way)

LOL

ok, i guess you had to have seen it or you won't get it. =|

[Raven]

Yeah, HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA.....


Interesting, you only saw that last night? We saw that about 2 weeks ago, how come we see it before it's home country?

[sangai]

because it was a rerun i saw that one like a few months ago

the two newest ons are

the smart is smarter

and

the wandering juvie

those are the newest episodes

[Mut]

lol yeah, i rarely watch simpsons nowadays, any cartoons for that matter.

now, i'm just into watching the oc, las vegas, smallville, the last season of friends and real world/road rules.

and of course, the lakers!!!

[sangai]

not to be off topic but i too have almost stopped watching all cartoons

i still watch static shock, pkmn everonce and a while

i wish they would bring back

xmen
spiderman
batman beyond

i watch
smallville
enterprise
oc(everyonce and a while)

and then theres anime

i like that i can download the simpsons episodes so it works out

[Jman]

Funny moments:
When homer attempted to jump Springfield Gorge on the skateboard.

The monkey knife fight on board Mr. Burns yacht
Homer chides: "Look at those poor saps back on land with their laws and ethics! They'll never know the simple joys of a monkey knife fight."
Moe: "Thrust, parry stab stab stab. Aw he ain't pretty no more.

Lol
------------------------------------------------
related news about monkey knife fighting.


"Sorry, guys. It's only legal in international waters, according to prime-time mainstay "The Simpsons." It is NOT legal in the state of Missouri to instigate monkey knife fights, as local college students Terry James, 21, and Preston Cambridge, 20, found out the hard way. The boys are currently jailed without bond on charges of animal theft, mistreatment of animals, illegal gambling, illegal use of weapons, endangerment of others and public urination.

"I'm sorry, but there is nothing funnier or more exciting than a monkey knife fight," stated James. "Had I any idea that it was illegal, I would have put a stop to everything. I just couldn't fathom that an activity that provides so much to so many could be wrong. I still won't. Believe me, the Young Republicans will be taking this all the way to the top."

can't believe they really had monkey fights
--

getting back on track...
Lenny: Geez Homer, I would have thought a guy with two wives would be happy.
Carl: No, you're thinking of someone with two knives.
Moe: (standing with two knives) I gotta tell ya, this is pretty terrific. hahaha YEA!

[Koyuki]

Homer: So I says, blue M&amp;M, red M&amp;M, they all wind up the same color in the end.

Off-topic: yeah cartoons arn't as funny as before. I usually watch shows like Smallville
Everybody likes reymond, king of queens etc.

[ilabb]

Oh, I love the one where everyone thinks Mr. Burns is an alien XD

The part where he get the injection cracks me up every time..

*doctor injects siringe* Mr. Burns: Eeeeeeoom!

Classic, I tells ya.

(Futurama &gt; Simpsons &gt; Family Guy XD)

[Luchio]

My favorite episode is the one where the Simpsons move to a new city because homer has a new job in Hank Scorpio's factory:

*Scorpio starts video link with White House officials* Scorpio: Good afternoon, gentlemen. This is Scorpio. I have the Doomsday Device. You have 72 hours to deliver the gold or you'll face the consequences. And to prove I'm not bluffing, watch this.
[activates a remote, explosion occurs]
Man 1: Oh, my God, the 59th Street bridge!
Man 2: Maybe it just collapsed on its own.
Man 1: We can't take that chance.
Man 2: You always say that. I want to take a chance.

-----------

Hank: By the way, Homer, what's your least favorite country: Italy or France?
Homer: France.
Hank: [chuckles] Nobody ever says Italy. [sets the coordinates of a giant laser gun]

-----------

*Homer's wandering around in the complex, enters a security facility*
Homer: Uh... you have any sugar around here?
Hank: Sugar? Sure. [fumbles in his pockets, takes out a few handfuls of sugar] There you go. Sorry it's not in packages. Want some cream?
Homer: Uh... I... no.

[Melvinmaniacs]

I don't know where this is from, but I have a soundbyte
Apu: Yes. I'm sorry I do not speak English. Okay.
Mrs. Lovejoy: But you were just talkin'...
Apu: Yes, yes. Hotdog, hotdog. Yes sir, no sir, maybe, ok.

[sangai]

im just gettin this back on the front page.

anywho.

damn i can't remeber any qoutes.

but appearantly they plan on canceling the simpsons after this season. or after the movie

[bwabes]

Great! That show has just gotten worse and worse!

[Anbu Hatake Kakashi]

cancel.. simpons.... WTF that's like..... letting Saddam GO! WTF!

[bwabes]

Once again, after the 11th season the show nosedived. The only reason it's still on the air is because it's 'The Simpsons' and people laugh moronically at whatever tripe they put up. The jokes are now played to the lowest common denominator, and many people who used to love the show stopped watching because it degraded so much in quality.

[Swallow Your Soul]

Yup, the film will probably be one big last huge moneyspinner and then the show can die the death that should have come 4 or 5 years ago.

...at least I hope so...movies of TV shows usually suck anyway, but I might have welcomed the news of the movie if it wasn't for the fact that the show was so far past its prime...fox dragged it on too long while killing other shows while they were still young...

*hates fox*

[Raven]

We'll always have the precious memories of when the show was pure gold. Ah, those were the days. *sniff*