Great Simpsons Quotes And Moments...

[StAn|SeRv]

Okay......we all know the animated cartoon The Simpsons are, and about 95% of people on the forum probably enjoy watching them.

So post some of your favorite quotes and moments onto this thread...

Quote:

Homer: "Why does Maggie have to take injections for diseases she doesn't even have ?"

I'll think of more later.

[Assassin]

duffman quotes are always gold....

"Duffman can't breathe......OOOOOOOHH NOOOOO!!!!"

"Thats one mug u dont wanna chug! OOOOOHH YAAAAA!!"

and ofcourse mr. burns...

"theres a NEW mexico now?" (i think that was him....might have been homer)

[Swallow Your Soul]

<u> Ralph Wiggum </u>

&quot;Hi Lisa, hi super nintendo chalmers&quot;

&quot;I dressed myself&quot;

&quot;Thats where I saw the leprechaun...he told me to burn things&#33;&quot;

I&#39;m glad no-ones mentioned my favourite bit yet...I saw it yesterday and it was still well funny:

Homer is in the back garden and is trying to stop swearing (with the swear jar). He is building a dog house and smashes his thumb with the hammer and says something like

&quot;oh....fudge....thats......broken&quot;

...then he steps on a board with a nail in it, which goes right through his foot

&quot;fiddley-dee...that will require a tetanous shot&#33;&quot;

Hard to explain, but it was well funny...

Then theres all the classic ones like where he falls out of the ambulance over the cliff in the first season...

[sangai]

homer:i need some fuel for me mule,gas for me ass

homer with broken jaw:im horrneee

marget:what ever you said im sure it was butiful

mister burns at the mayo clinic filing out info sheet:cause of parents death: replies:got in my way

homer spining a glob and stops it with a finger:U R GAY really spelled uraguay in brazil. and laughs about sayin u r gay

bart :well no one has to draw me a picture
milhouse: well i already did

comic book guy:but aquaman you cannot marry a woman without gills your from two different worlds :looks up from his comic: oh ive wasted my life

comic book guy running in the marathon and then falls into a hole:alas my arch enemy has found out my only weakness

comic book guy in a protapotty after homer recks it: alas i will have to find a new fortress of solitude

comicbook guy:this is a job for green lantarn iron man and maybe the flash
otto:what about super man
comic book guy:chaa amatuer

[PLasK]

From a burning robot in simpsons


&quot;why was i program to feel pain?&quot;

he ownz ^^

[Jman]

homer: &quot;Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend the rules a little in order to hold our own.&quot;

&quot;Remember as far as anyone knows, we&#39;re a nice normal family&quot;

&quot;Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you&#39;d step over your own mother just to get one&#33; But you can&#39;t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman&#33;&quot;

&quot;Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.&quot;

[EnergyCallingMe]

me fail english thats impeessible

[Raven]

Oh where do I start, I know &#39;em all.......


H: &quot;Marge, will you ask Lisa to pass me the syrup?&quot;

L: &quot;Bart, tell Dad I will only pass him the syrup if it&#39;s not going to be used on any meat products.&quot;

B: &quot;You dunking your sausage in that syrup, homeboy?&quot;

H: &quot;Marge, please tell Bart I only want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.&quot;

M: &quot;Tell him yourself, you&#39;re ignoring Lisa, not Bart.&quot;

H: &quot;Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.&quot;

M: &quot;You&#39;re not not talking to me either, and secondly I heard what you said&quot;

H: &quot;Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case&#33;&quot;

B: &quot;Uh, Dad, Lisa&#39;s the one you&#39;re not talking to.&quot;

H: &quot;Bart, go to your room&#33;&quot;

L: &quot;Why don&#39;t you just eat him?&quot;

H: &quot;I don&#39;t need any serving suggestions from YOU... you BBQ wrecking know-nothing know-it-all&#33;&quot;

L: &quot;That&#39;s it&#33; I can&#39;t live in a house with this prehistoric carnivore&#33; I am OUTTA here&#33;&quot;

*She leaves*
*Pause*

H: &quot;That&#39;s it, go to your room&#33;&quot;

[DB_Hunter]

Long time ago so don&#39;t remember it perfectly:

From the stone-cutters ep:

At dinner table:

M: Homer why are you dressed like that?
H: Oh err... I&#39;m going out.
M: Homer you are not going to stalk Lenny and Carl.

After dinner is finished Homer get&#39;s up.

M: Homer where are you going?
H: I&#39;m...... going........ to stalk......... Lenny and Carl.......

D&#39;oh&#33;

[samsonlonghair]

I would certainly hope no one has forgotten the Guatemalen insanity peppers.
Homer: &quot;I hope I didn&#39;t brain my damage&quot;
That was one of the funniest episodes.

Other good quotes:
Groundskeeper Willy: &quot;there&#39;s nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scottsman&#33;&quot;

Sideshow Bob: &quot;No children have ever meddled with the republican party and lived to tell about it.&quot;

EnergyCallingMe, that quote was by Ralph Wiggum and it should say: &quot;Me fail English? That&#39;s <u>unpossible</u>&#33;&quot;

[KakashiSensei]

I always liked the Homer line

&quot;you can do it three way....The right way, the wrong way or the Max Power way&quot;
Lisa says &quot;hey dad isnt the max power way just like the wrong way&quot;
Homer &quot; Yes but a whole lot faster&quot;

Or Bill Clinton

&quot;Oh no Quebecs got the bomb&quot;

[Jman]

<u>Homer:</u>
&quot;D&#39;oh&#33;&#33;&#33;&quot;

&quot;Bart, with &#036;10,000, we&#39;d be millionaires&#33; We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love&#33;&quot;

&quot;That&#39;s it&#33; You people have stood in my way long enough. I&#39;m going to clown college&#33;&quot;

&quot;You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is &#39;never try&#39;.&quot;

&quot;I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t....I mean s-m-A-r-t.&quot;

&quot;Ha ha&#33; Look at this country&#33; ? U R Gay&#33;? Ha ha&#33;&quot; (looking at Uruguay on the globe).

&quot;Don&#39;t let Krusty&#39;s death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow&#33; Well, good night.

&quot;English, pfft what do I need that for, I&#39;m never going to England&quot;

&#39;I&#39;m normally not a praying man, but if you&#39;re up there, please save me Superman&#33;&quot;
- Homer

Stealing? How could you?&#33; Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain what’s-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughin’, did you?”
- Homer


Homer: Well Marge, have you ever seen a field glow like that?
Marge: It&#39;s eerily beautiful, but are you sure this is safe?
Homer: Of course not. But you know something? Sometimes you have to break the rules to free your heart.
Marge: You got that from a movie poster.
Homer: Well, when there&#39;s nothing left to believe in, believe in hope
Marge: Where&#39;d you get that from?
Homer: From the producers from Waiting to Exhale.


&quot;Come on Milhouse, there’s no such thing as a soul&#33; It’s just something they made up to scare kids, like the Boogie Man or Michael Jackson.”
- Bart

[StAn|SeRv]

Homer: &quot;I&#39;m no missionary. I don&#39;t even believe in Jebus. Ahhh... Save me Jebus&#33;&quot;

[Kagari]

Homer:

Homer no function beer well without.


Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.


Homer: &quot;Yo da man Carl&#33; I believe you can fly&#33;&quot;
Carl: &quot;I&#39;m so sick of everyone assuming I&#39;m good at basketball because I&#39;m African American&#33; (dunks from foul line, breaks backboard) Go Carl, go carl, its my birthday, threepete&#33; You&#39;ve got mail baby&quot;

&quot;The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother. I call him Gamblor, and its time to snatch her from his neon claws&#33;&quot;

&quot;It&#39;s like something out of that twilighty show about that zone.&quot;

[samsonlonghair]

I can&#39;t remember exactly which Halloween episode this came from, but it was when they parodied The Shining.

Willy: &quot;You&#39;ve got the shinning.&quot;
Bart: &quot;Don&#39;t you mean Shining?
Willy: &quot;Quiet Boy&#33; Do you want to get sued?&quot;

Later on in the same episode Marge looks for Homer and finds that he&#39;s been typing on a typewriter.

Marge: &quot;What he&#39;s typed will be a window into his warped mind&quot; (she looks at the paper) &quot;It says &#39;feelin&#39; fine&#39; that&#39;s a relief.&quot; (She looks at the walls to see &quot;No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy&quot; scrawled everywhere.)
Homer: (stepping out from the shadows) &quot;Well, what do you think Marge? I&#39;m thinking of of calling it No TV and no beer make Homer something something.
Marge: &quot;Go crazy?&quot;
Homer: &quot;Don&#39;t mind if I do&#33;&quot;

[Raven]

Ned: Homer, did you take flowers from my garden?

Homer: Can&#39;t make a float without flowers&#33;

Ned: But did you have to salt the earth so nothing would ever grow again?

Homer: heh heh heh............... yeah

[JessiA]

Apu: Shut Up

Flanders: Blahblahblah

Apu: Shut Up&#33;

Flanders: Can&#39;t put a price on a miracle&#33;

Apu: I can&#39;t believe you don&#39;t shut up&#33;


=-=-=-=


Voice Over: COPS in Springfield

Bad Cops, Bad Cops, Bad Cops~ Bad Cops, Bad Cops, Bad Cops..Springfield Cops are on the case but what do you expect for the money we make? Whether in a car on a horse, we don&#39;t mind using excessive force~ Bad Cops, Bad Cops~

Wiggum: Allright Boys, time to bag us a cattle rustler&#33;

Mr. Lovejoy: What in God&#39;s name are you doing?

Wiggum: ...Isn&#39;t this... 742 Evergreen Terrace?

Mr. Lovejoy: Noo, that&#39;s next door.

Cows moo.

Car squeals and drives off.

Snake: Close, but no donut, cops&#33;

Wiggum: This is Papa Bear, put out an APB for a male suspect driving a... car of some sort. Heading in the direction of, uh.. that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless, repeat, hatless.

=-=-=-=-=

Moe: Phone call for Al, Al Coholic.

Moe: ....Jock.. Strap.

Moe: .... I.P. Freely here?

Moe: Hey, is there a Butz here? Seymour Butz?

Moe: I need Amanda Hugankiss.

=-=-=-=-=

Homer: Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa(continue for 3 secs)aaaap

=-=-=-=-=

Homer: You suck didly uck Flanders&#33;

=-=-=

These all came from various MP3s I have. Blame them, not me&#33;

[Raven]

Bart: Mum, these school uniforms suck.

Marge: Bart, where do you pick up words like that?

Homer: (on phone) Oh yeah Moe, that team sure did suck last night. I&#39;ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

[JessiA]

ROFL, I think I&#39;ve got that one somewhere&#33;

[Uberbaka]

My personal favorite:

Homer: Kids, leave the room.

Homer: F[interrupted by church bells, birds flying etc]&#33;&#33;&#33;