Really BIG idiots

[Assassin]

You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles

LOL!!!

but im more suprised that he could come up with a witty comback in that situation :

'A pumpkin? Damn, is it midnight already?'

[Wilik]

http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html
My all time favorite computer operator jokes, check it out, theres alot to read but VERY funny

[Shippou-sama]

*sigh*

Jeez you guys love a good argument. -_-;;

Okay, let's see. On the one hand, you have a person correcting something based on fact (correcting chambers). On the other hand, you have people censoring themselves to avoid any potential faux pas. Yup, that sounds anything alike? 0.o

And I'm not a hypocrit. I never said that nit-picking was evil, nor did I directly say that it shouldn't be done. I said it's not the same as being PC.

@ PSJ: Hmm. Well, that's actually a difficult question. Do I think their actions are those of a policing nation? Yes. Do I think they have the right? Not necessarily. Do I care either way? I hate to admit it, but no, not really. =\

But back on topic: Freaking wow. I was at a friend's house. The house has a fireplace in the living room. His mother decided to light a fire, since it was a little cold, and we were all sitting and talking anyway. Awhile later, my friend's sister and her friend come in. The sister's friend reaches her hand into the fire and says "*#$@! That's a real fire!!" The father said, "Yeah, what did you expect?" "I dunno, but it's hot." You heard it here first, folks. Fire is hot.

[Hollow]

LMAO.

I had a similar experience. My stupid friends, who I bet play Zelda (not dissing Zelda in ANY WAY), thought that BLUE FIRE = COLD. In fact, it's quite the opposite.

[Board of Command]

Not necessarily, it mostly depends on the fuel. Gas is usually blue and wood is usually orange. Coal is orange and it's hotter than gas. The color spectrum mostly applies to extreme temperatures.

But thinking that ANY kind of fire is cold is stupid.

[Death BOO Z]

since i'm still at highschool, i don't have any customer service quates, but i have a few lines that some of my girls in my class said.

1. Teacher: this exam is also a test of your intellgence.
Student: that's not fair!

2. Teacher #2: you'll have to show thay you've got general knowledge.
Student #2: General knowledge? what's that? where do you learn it?

3. Student #3: what's a plus?
Teacher #3: it's addition.

true stories, less than two weeks old (#3 is from yesterday), they sound better in hebrew, but the messge is still clear, isn't it?

[Board of Command]

That's just sad. I've heard them before as well.

This one from chemistry

girl: why does helium have 2 valence electrons?
teacher: because helium only has 2 electrons total
students: (point and laugh)

[Assassin]

furhter proof that men will do ANYTHING for sex:

13 May 1998, New Jersey) There's apparently not much to do in Long Branch during the long May evenings. A 51-year-old man decided to satisfy his fantasy of robotic love by seeking sexual gratification with his vacuum cleaner. Most men would think twice before poking a valuable organ into a vacuum, but this optimistic fellow had no qualms about the safety of his intended course of action. And using a vacuum cleaner had the appealing aspect of tidying up his mess after satisfying him.
Our horny hero didn't realize that the suction on his hand-held Singer A-6 was created by a blade whirling just beneath the hose attachment, adjacent to the collection bag. His search for pleasure was cut short seconds after he stuck his penis into the vacuum and the blade lopped off part of his penis. With a sense of loss, he staggered to the phone and called police. He told them that he had been stabbed in his sleep. When police pointed out suspicious evidence, the victim claimed not to remember the incident.

Surgeons at Monmouth Medical Center stopped the bleeding, but were unable to reattach the 1/2" severed part. Though this man is still alive, his ability to reproduce has been curtailed by both his injury and his proclivity for household appliances

And....

A man walked into a Circle-K in Louisiana, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer was $15. Question: if someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?

[Board of Command]

More Darwins...Makes you wonder how stupid people on Earth can get.

[Deblas]

Im glad that you all liked it. feel free to put odd stories that you find(like you haven't been doing since i started this thread [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif[/img]) cause everyone needs a good laugh from time to time

[Board of Command]

(January 2002, Croatia) A Croatian was killed while trying to open a hand grenade with a chainsaw. He wanted to retrieve the explosive to make firecrackers for the New Years holiday.

(1982, Texas) At the Amarillo Fairgrounds, some buildings were in need of a coat of paint, so local contractors were hired to do the job.
Between the buildings was an angled alley with a culvert in the middle, designed to drain rainwater away from the buildings. Because of the slope, the wheeled painter scaffolding tended to roll downhill, so the painters removed the wheels on the scaffolding. They were in the process of moving the scaffolding next to a building, when the metal structure met a transformer. The painters were killed.

The story made the headlines. The town was abuzz with talk of the tragedy, how it had come to pass, and whether the city was liable for damages. The city officials decided they needed to conduct an investigation.

With much fanfare, they arrived at the scene of the incident, prepared to personally recreate the circumstances. Two officials grabbed the scaffolding in the exact same location as the two painters, began to move the scaffolding... and were promptly electrocuted.

[Deblas]

I decided to revive this so people could get a good laugh

[Zoels]

thanks for doing so =) i especially liked the first thing you posted about the counting guy.

[Death BOO Z]

here are two new quotes from the stupid girls in my school.

1. "what does sexsual intercourse mean?"
after reading the 'disclaimer' in a blood donation event.
(it was coming from an 18 years old girl)

2. girl "what's work payment?"
Teacher : "it's wages"

they both sound much better in hebrew, but the idioticy is still clear...