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Thread: how to get out of a speeding ticket

  1. #1

    how to get out of a speeding ticket

    A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

    Officer: May I see your driver's license?

    Driver: I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI.

    Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?

    Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

    Officer: The car is stolen?

    Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

    Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

    Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

    Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

    Driver: Yes, sir.

    Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

    Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

    Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.

    Captain: Whose car is this?

    Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration. The driver owned the car.

    Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

    Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

    Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

    Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.

    Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

    Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!

  2. #2
    Junior Sexfiend PSJ's Avatar
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    RE: how to get out of a speeding ticket

    lol that was one of the funniest jokes i've heard in a while.

  3. #3
    Missing Nin Lefty's Avatar
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    how to get out of a speeding ticket

    LMAO. that's funny as hell. But I doubt it would work in real life, only with a really stupid officer.

  4. #4
    ANBU Arcn3ss's Avatar
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    how to get out of a speeding ticket

    Man..Thats an awesome joke. XD

    "Chrono is our Religion. In the name of the Chrono, the Zeal, the Trigger and Cross, Amen."

  5. #5

    how to get out of a speeding ticket

    Originally posted by: Lefty
    LMAO. that's funny as hell. But I doubt it would work in real life, only with a really stupid officer.
    unfortunately, we live in a society where people are, well, not all there. Stranger things can happen.
    *women have breasts. thats not fair to us guys who get tickets. what are we gonna do? have a ball hang out and stuff?*

    somewhat on/off the topic, if you ever get asked to do jury duty, and you want out of it, just ask where the white people drinking fountain is. Thats an instant pass outta there.

  6. #6
    Moderator Raven's Avatar
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    RE: how to get out of a speeding ticket

    Or, you could just say you're prejudiced against every race.

    Hahahaha @ joke btw.
    I think I know precisely what I mean
    when I say it's a schpadoinkle day

  7. #7
    Junior Sexfiend PSJ's Avatar
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    RE: how to get out of a speeding ticket

    LOL good one gaaralovessand.

  8. #8

    RE: how to get out of a speeding ticket

    lolz...nice joke...

  9. #9
    Hunter Nin Stoopider's Avatar
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    RE: how to get out of a speeding ticket

    Unlikely. They don't call their captains so easily. Have to be more than that in the boot.

    I've gotten out of lots of speeding tickets. Just bribe [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]. Thank God for corruption, and low police wages.
    MmmMmm. Ooiiishiii


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