You're not serious about this are you? There are SO many flaws in this. Right from the beginning you say that Itachi leaves before the Kyuubi attack, yet at that time, Naruto and Sasuke would have to be babies. It is clear that Itachi left seven or eight years after the attack. And from there, the rest of your ideas fall to pieces like a set of dominos.

I'll let everyone else point out all the other obvious problems, cause otherwise I'd end up writing as much as you did.