Not really a fan of the artstyle that Rin is drawn in. But if you want to use that, then the bigger issue is the background. It's just a completely jarring style compared to the foreground (undefined "techno/electro" designs vs simpler "cartoony" character")
The overall effect is makes it feel too much like a cut/paste job, despite the effort that you've put into it.
So.. yeah, try a different background.