Dedicated to Family Guy

[Banned!]

there was an ep were Peter and Lois went to a counciler and the counciler told them that they should be seperated for like a week or somethin' and Lois goes out with Quagmire and when there going to go into the car Quagmire has a jacket and one end of the sleve is going into his pants and he tells Lois that its cold and that she should put on a jacket and she's like im fine Quagmire and he's like insisting for her to put on the jacket and if she did put on his jacket she would've touched his C**K LOL that was hailorious and Peter went out with Jennifer Love Hewitt and he was like he didnt care and Jennifer Love Hewitt saw how much Peter was a pig and she loved it and she like put Peter on the table in the restaraunt and Lois and Quagmire were there 2 and Lois came and called Jennifer Love Hewitt a bitch or ho somethin' and they started fighting that was hailrous LOL

[Tachikoma]

Have they only made 3 seasons of Family Guy? I've got them all on DVD, and I want more! More, damn you woman!

And the fact that it's better than the Simpsons is nice [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img].


And a classic line from Family Guy, from 'Death Lives':

Peter is meeting Lois' father for the first time...

Lois: I hope you're not nervous about meeting my father.
Peter: Don't worry, you'll know if I'm nervous.
Lois' Father: Lois!
Peter: *farts* Now!

Gets me in stitches every time [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]


Note: just found the post saying it's coming back in 2005. That's what happens when you skip to the latest post.

[sangai]

oh what episode is it

lois becomes all manly and she grabs peters crotch

louis:THIS IS MINE, THIS IS MINE
peter: uh hey uh lois
louis:THIS IS WHERE MY BABYS COME FROM

[PaD]

The girl comes home (don't remember her name)
Girl: ''I have no friends and it's because of this purse!"
*Shows a blue purse*
Peter comes running, takes the purse and starts poking at it
Peter:'' What did you do to my daughter?! I swear to God if you've touched her!"

[ad4mz41]

Brian: Face it Peter your a terrible liar.
*Scene switches to the Wonka Factory*
Willy Wonka: Are you sure you didn't eat anything in my factory.
Peter: [looks like a big fat blue ball] Yes.
Willy Wonka: Are you....
Peter: Hey screw you wonka!


Jewish Financial Planner: Sir, this contract shows no sign of real insurance. It just says volcano insurance, volcano insurance, volcano insurance over again. And at the bottom it says hes signing it, hes signing it, i cant believe hes signing it.


*the ep where Peter accidentally gives away all the family's christmas gifts and tries to get them back from the Hillbillys*
Peter: Oh no its a misunderstanding. Those gifts were suppose to be for my family. And that is my VCR.
*Two hillbillies fight over the VCR*
Hillbilly #1: Dammit its my turn to use the sexbox.
Hillbilly #2: No its mine. And her name is Sony.


I think i got the wording right...

[Jman]

funny parts:
when Stewie sings Rocketman.

Peter's rendition of "Can't touch this".

Ja...Ja...Ja Just like the bad guy from Lethal Weapon 2
I got diplomatic immunity so hammer you can't sue.

lol


The one where Peter wants to be a woman so he breast feeds Stewie.

Episode "Da Boom" entire thing was simply hilarious

When Peter declares himself on a hunger strike in "Gumbel 2 Gumbel" and he says "Are you gonna eat that stapler???..........Wanna split it?"

In "Fifteen minutes of shame" where they appear on the talk show and before hand they have the man, who's actually a woman, who's actually a horse, who's actually a broom.

My favorite one was where Stewie gets taken away for being a crack baby by social services... Stewie then goes and lives with a foster family with all different races of babies. All the babies are laying in a rainbow shape with one spot left:

Li: Stewie, come complete our rainbow.
Stewie Griffin: I've got a better idea. Let's go play "swallow the stuff under the sink."

[Swallow Your Soul]

Originally posted by: animemaster

My favorite one was where Stewie gets taken away for being a crack baby by social services... Stewie then goes and lives with a foster family with all different races of babies. All the babies are laying in a rainbow shape with one spot left:

Li: Stewie, come complete our rainbow.
Stewie Griffin: I've got a better idea. Let's go play "swallow the stuff under the sink."

I like the bit of that one where Stewie turns them all against each other and goes "Dance puppets DANCE!"

Theres another bit which I kinda forget...but it involves a giant insect/alien sat on a couch watching the news on TV and it is rubbing its hands together saying "good, good"...

[ad4mz41]

Originally posted by: Swallow Your Soul


Theres another bit which I kinda forget...but it involves a giant insect/alien sat on a couch watching the news on TV and it is rubbing its hands together saying "good, good"...

AHAHA that one is funny. Did someone already mention the episode where that guy tries to kill Chris?

Peter: Hey has anyone seen my son Chris? Yeah yeah thats a photo of him you can keep it I have alot. O yeah and on the back it has his name and address and all of his fears listed on it.

-later on in the same episode-

PEter gets attacked by a racoon and goes into that porter potty and it tips over.

Peter: Oh God! Oh God! It's all over the place! Ahh Oh god! Its in my racoon wounds! Ahhh.

And then that old guy at the end, "havent seen the newspaper boy lately. Call mE! Oh you're starting to piss me off."

haha

[Swallow Your Soul]

*shudders* that creepy guy who asks Chris if he 'has any good news' for him is well freaky....but still funny [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif[/img]

Theres some well dark humour in Family Guy...like the bit where Death loses his virginity :\

[JusDaMan]

Chris: I DONT WANNA GO TO MY ROOM THERES A EVIL MONKEY IN THERE.

[Knives122]

here are the pics of the EVIL MONKEY

[Knives122]

[IMG]

[AkimichiChouji]

Peter: Ya well i can recite the whole alphabet in one word
Lois: what?
Peter: *screams*
Lois: Thats not the alphabet you just screamed


----------------------------------------


Peter: Lois its my duty to protect all of my family......heh doody.....heh Diahrea
Peter: Hey Lois!
Lois: What?
Peter: Diahrea
Lois: *laughs* oh Peter im holding drinks


i have all 3 seasons on dvd [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]

[ad4mz41]

fear no more I have found a website with tons of family guy quotes!

http://www.familyguyquotes.com/

I think this one was pretty funny:
Black Knight: You see kids your father is nothing but a fizzle!
Peter: Nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it! Except that one guy who called me a fizzle and then ran off. He got away with it. But most people who call me a fizzle don't get away with it. Well, actually, that guy who got away with it was the only one who ever called me a fizzle. After today ... only half the people who ever called me a fizzle will have gotten away with it.

[stos289]

This one is my favorite:

"I don't want to go on a rant here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Antita. I mean when a neoconservative defenestrates, its like Rascalnakof filibustered deoxymonhydroxinate." - Dennis Miller

"The hell does rant mean?" - Peter Griffin

Another funny one:

"Today my vision for our future comes true....I chicken in every pot, (pulls out gun) and a cap in every ass!!! "

I can name a ton of them off the top of my head.

[stos289]

This one is my favorite:

"I don't want to go on a rant here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Antita. I mean when a neoconservative defenestrates, its like Rascalnakof filibustered deoxymonhydroxinate." - Dennis Miller

"The hell does rant mean?" - Peter Griffin

Another funny one:

"Today my vision for our future comes true....I chicken in every pot, (pulls out gun) and a cap in every ass!!! "

I can name a ton of them off the top of my head.

[stos289]

This one is my favorite:

"I don't want to go on a rant here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Antita. I mean when a neoconservative defenestrates, its like Rascalnakof filibustered deoxymonhydroxinate." - Dennis Miller

"The hell does rant mean?" - Peter Griffin

Another funny one:

"Today my vision for our future comes true....I chicken in every pot, (pulls out gun) and a cap in every ass!!! "

I can name a ton of them off the top of my head.

[Locke]

Twas a triple post, tis sad.

Scene : Stewie thought the loudspeaker that the cheerleader had was a mind control device, thus he ties her up and goes off to take her place and control everyone, quagmire walks in and sees said cheerleader on the groud tied up and he says : "Dear Diary, JACKPOT!!!"

Joe - "We got this new cop van, wanna see it?"
*They get in the van*
Joe - "Peter, stand right there"
*Peter stands there, the van spouts off some stuff about him being a criminal, handcuffs him maybe, takes his wallet.
*Cleveland decides to stand on it
Joe - "No, get off thier Cleveland"
*Machine throws out weed "Black suspect has contraban" "He's getting violent" Machine beats the fuck outta him.

[watching Cricket on British TV]
Peter: What the hell is he talking about?
Englishman: Oh, it's Cricket. Marvelous game, really. You see, the bowler hurls the ball toward the batter who tries to play away a fine leg. He endeavors to score by dashing between the creases, provided the wicket keeper hasn't whipped his bails off, of course.
Peter: Anybody get that?
Cleveland: The only British idiom I know is that "fag" means "cigarette."
Peter: Well, someone tell this "cigarette" to shut up.

Cleveland: Public urination is just wrong. Except during the Million Man March when protestors burned down our porta-potties and I used my stream of justice to put out the hate.

How about when he's insulting lorretas mother when they were golfing and whatnot.

[stos289]

Sorry about the triple post, it wouldn't confirm the post, I started to get agitated, and I kept clicking button to reply. Well anyway, the more Family Guy, the better I always say. To close my apology I'll leave you with these quotes....

"Hey Peter, its seven o'clock and you still got your pants on, what's the ocassion?" - Brian

Mr. Weed - "Your'e neglegance has damaged this company's reputation, YOUR'E FIRED!!!
Peter - "Ah geez, for how long?"

Chris - "Way to go Dad! Fight the machines!"
Stewie - "How do you know about the machines!?"

[r3n]

meg runs in the door crying "oh my god i hate my life so much. im going to go eat peanuts!"

*blank stare from peter and lois*

meg: "Im allergic to peanuts! you dont even know anything about me!!!"

*runs upstairs crying*

Peter "who the hell was that guy?"