me, well lifes been bad to me for the past 2 weeks, got into a dumbass argument witha taecher, accidently cussed out my supervisory at work
, missed skewl for a week bc i the cold whick hella messed up my grades, and now its not getting anybetter, so i just wanted to know hows life going for everybody in the forums.
Please dont do anything drastic... eat some twinkies, they always make me feel better
nah i wont do anything sutpid, i just wanna know hows life for everone, hope its better then mine
Life ... goes on ... hmm, not exactly what I'm trying to acheive but you'll either
A) get over it
numb and depress the hell out of ??? what?
Right now I'm at B, A just seems too hard and I'm the dumb lazy type.
Sorry not much help is it? But if it makes you feel any better there are people starving and freezing (not me) and at least 1 million (if not more) times worse of then you. NO I DO NOT INTEND THIS AS A JOKE;YOU DON'T SEE ME LAUGHING NOW DO YOU?
Me? I'm just your average petty guy deep in depression and self-pity because I suffer a few minor inconvenice in life that .......
....
<_<Sorry but I all of a sudden I want to rant too.
Trying to recover from Christmas. Reasons:
1) My girlfriend left me. First Christmas without her, feeling lonely and fairly depressed. Relationship lasted for 3 years, and she ended up going out with a 30 year old, who mistreats her and even hires hookers and insults her. He even told her to break all contact with me and sent me a threatening email, so i can no longer speak to her. Because he goes through her personal emails, checks her ICQ, and everything else. No way for me to msg her anymore without him knowing.
2) My parents split up. First Christmas without them together. Mum moved off into a village, and my sister went with her. My Dad and my brother stayed together, i decided to stay with my dad and brother because you simply can't get broadband in a crappy little village and i really hate not being able to get to a shop easily. On top of that it wouldn't do my studies any better because i wouldn't be able to take the Bus anymore.
3) My studies are doing seriously badly. I am really pissed off with the course, all they ever teach us is how to use Microsoft Office >_<. Since when did you need to know how to use Microsoft Office simply to program Linux/Unix Operating Systems?! And since when did they have to dedicate 3 DAMN YEARS to learning how to use it!!!! >_<!!!! Now i'm so fed up with the course, i no longer have enough motivation to make the last hurl of the course. I'm going to fail.
4) The Queen and a lot of the government have decided to AGAIN increase University fees and taxes. Now instead of Students going up to 20,000 in debt by the time they've finished a 4 year course, it's now 60,000 in debt. That's $109,452 to you Americans. Meaning, going to University would now seem like a waste of time even if i did have enough motivation to finish my course. Because there's no longer any point really. I mean, what's the point in gaining better knowledge, to get a better job, to earn even more money, when you're only going to end up spending half your frigging life paying off debts with not only that extra cash you bring in as a result of your education, but everything else as well! Getting a lower paid job now ends up giving you even more money than a higher paid job! I mean, how BACKWARDS is THAT?! >_<
5) One of my relatives died in November last year. Again, the first Christmas i ever had without seeing them. This came in at the same time as everything else really, which really sucked. She was my Aunt. Oh well, i guess it happens. People die, life goes on.... But having it happen at the same time as everything i've stated above... it kind of tops the cherry if you know what i mean. =.=;;
6) I've become in debt, due to misinformation from my bank. They stated that i have what is known as a 'shadow overdraft'. It's a limit of around £30 - £40. So i allowed myself to go over by that much, i topped £30 exactly, only to be told that whoever told me that was wrong, and that the amount i have gone over is an unauthorised overdraft and i'm going to be given a hefty charge for being over it. I couldn't afford to buy anyone Christmas presents as a result, so i go into January and finally buy them Christmas presents, just scraping the £0 line. But then this stupid Software thing happens and i end up being forced to shell out £20 odd or chance being reported to the authorities. So i'm now yet again in unauthorised debt. This was all because of my bank! If they hadn't given me misinformation, i would of been like £50 odd in the black! >_<
7) The job i wanted to get has now become too far from my reach due to the University fees and the way the Education system is run in England. This was the ONLY job i could ever see myself doing, everything else is just depressing. I wanted to be a Linux/Unix OS Programmer, who earn like £100,000 to £112,000 per year. ($182,406 - $204,295). That's around like £10,000 per month! ($18,240). But that's never going to happen now. My future seems very bleak, because i don't really want to do anything else. I tried working for a shop once, and i was so depressed..... I'm so glad i'm away from that now.... but now it seems like it's going to be my only future and i'm going to end up back in some crappy little shop, serving stuck up rich customers (Saffron Walden is known for housing a lot of rich people), etc etc..... oh god.. =.=;;
8) Imagine all of this, put together, and then think what it must be like to not have any friends to turn to for any support at all? The only friends i could really turn to are online, any other friends i have are from college, and live too far for me to get to. So they're never there, but my computer is here all the time. So my computer is basically all that i have left to keep me going o_O;
Yes i understand there are people out there doing even worse than i am. But i'm sorry, i just have to say this.
I don't know them, they don't know me. I can't exactly think "Oh well, everythings fine, because i'm doing better than some ppl out there", because if i did, then what would be the point in living? The only solution to that stupid loop is to sell everything you have and give it all away and think "Oh i made a difference" but even then it STILL wouldn't be enough because there are just far too many people to help. You're not God, you're not a Saint, you're not someone with infinite wealth, you're not a being who can really make much of a difference to all those people who have it worse than yourself, you're simply one person who, although thinking "At least i can help some people", are in fact, a person who only goes halfway and making sure you're still doing better than they are.
If you really care so much about them, give everything away. If you're only going halfway and helping a few on occasion, then stop thinking like an idiot such as "Oh there are those who are even worse off than me", and admit the fact you don't really care that much about them or you wouldn't of already given everything you have for them. Everyone knows someone is doing even worse than them, but we don't know them. So we don't care. Because Ignorance is bliss. If it wasn't for ignorance, we would all die from depression.
............ uh.... sorry... i ranted a bit... and... i think i've been a little harsh and said a couple of stupid things.....
I apologise for everything here. Just wound up, depressed, and right now, ignorance and a computer, is all i have to keep be ticking.
*pats hiroshi on the back* I hear ya buddy.just keep going. I know I'm not a lot of help in saying that, but you have lots of support here on these forums! heheh again, not a lot of help I know.... but just keep posting here to vent if it helps.
P.S. If it's any consolation, a lot of the things you talked about have happened to me recently in similar situations - probably about 6 out of the 8..... so I kinda know what you're going through.
I think I know precisely what I mean
when I say it's a schpadoinkle day
I'm sorry if I somehow give you the wrong impression by my choice of words. "There are people out there that are doing worst then me" is not suppose make me feel all saintly and to be blunt, I don't give a shit about them. I'm in more or less the same situation as you hiroshi in 3), 4), 7) and 8). I know this sound really really weird but the "worst people", nameless and faceless, are still living and surviving which means that me and ME should at least keep going. Debt, bad GPA, feeling lonely and other shit didn't just happen to you. My stupid way to deal with it is hold on to some nameless faceless illusion that will ... I don't know what the hell they do but somehow they keep me going. The saddest part about the whole thing is that when shit happen I don't even feel sad or anything else anymore. I'm just ..... paralyze? The other ugly part about that thought is that deep down maybe that thought somehow give me this unconcious sick, cruel and perverted pleasure at seeing other people suffer.
...
Hey hiroshi, I can relate too. (I bet most of us can) In my experience, and generally speaking, it all should get better for you. (not that that helps any) And I agree that xmas can be especially tough... And they start ramming xmas down your throat even before the Halloween candy makes it to the store shelves. At least in the US...
And when I'm depressed and wrapped up in my own problems and some asshole tells me I shouldn't be depressed cause there's starving children in China or West Virginia or wherever, I just end up feeling more depressed for the reminder of how much the world sucks as a whole and guilty for not being grateful for my own existence...
*sigh*
As a side note, I found your post to be educational. I was not aware that Elizabeth Regina (heh! that rhymes with vagina) was actually involved in the rulemaking process. I thought it was Parlaiment. I also didn't realize how expensive educational costs are... Is there a predetermined fee for all universities or just state owned? (i assume you have both private and state/government sponsered ones like over here?)
Also, if you anticipate making between $180K and $204K (US) annually after graduation as a linux programmer, it seems like the debt incurred would be worth it... (in my admitedly worthless opinion)
<span style='colorurple'>And finally, CmDr_RavEn:
Your League of Gentlemen quote made me giggle quite a bit. Sheese, I had totally forgotten that show....now I want to watch it again! Even though it's sick. Now I'm thinking about the vet and the turtle...</span>
lol. Thanks guys
The Queen has very little power really, it's very unusual for her to get involved in the country anymore. But for some reason, she was the one to pass the ruling on this, which is very confusing and i don't understand what's specifically behind the reason as it were. You're right in thinking the political powers that be, are normally the people who give the rules and orders, but this time it's a very unusual circumstance. I think perhaps something is going down, which only the high ups really know about, which requires a great deal of funding. The reason for this suspicion (sp?) is because:
1) Not only is the Queen making the decision here, which is unusual, but
2) The political power that be, agreed with the decision. But they are in fact, for once, the minority in this decision. Just about every other politician present there, disagrees totally, and are actually arguing against this. So only the Queen and the Political party in power are demanding this, which is very confusing. Even most of the public is against it (for obvious reasons).
As for the idea of state ownership... we don't have states, but we have Counties. However, the people who rule the counties, have very little power at all. All they basically do, is carry out the political parties in powers wishes, such as give out such and such funding to do this and that etc. They do have a small amount of power, on doing little things that involve their particular county, but most of the things which happen is down to the members of parliment.
What you said about predetermined costs for Universities.... There are a lot of predetermined costs in place thanks to parliment, alongside costs which each individual university decides on. This normally depends on the course you wish to take of course.
Oh and one thing i learnt early. Apparently you get penalised for not taking a student loan. In other words, they charge more for the tuition fees if you don't get a loan, because they consider you as well off. Frigging stupid isn't it?
Haven't been here for awhile but today's my 18th birthday. And pissed off as hell.
One of my ex of 2 1/2 years as well had a new boyfriend (note: this is the girl I was insanely in love with.) Rubbed it in my face about how much pussy he's getting yadda yadda crap. My ex's father is the type of person who doesn't want his girl dating yet and so I decided to piss them off. I snitched. So now I've gotten a threat from her boyfriend about kicking motherfucking ass next Monday as he elegantly puts it.
The bad part is he has a bigger build so I'm deciding what the best option is. Settle it immaturely and fuck him up by bringing a couple of other people? Or wrecking his record by intentionally having him kick my ass and then snitching?
The choices...
am i am really stupid and lazy...*sigh* and am in point in school were y techear is telling me am eatin so much shit but other then skool life is going normal avergae nuttin special
its all cool hiroshi, lifes an ass. i say you go find that 30 year old guy and kill him!! that guys being all messed up to your ex man.
Well,I've hit rockbottom twice,all which was out of my control.I rather not go into specifics,but its caused some more bs in school,and has also probably caused me to see too much for my time.I can somewhat relate to a lot,sperated parents,never having a father really around.But I intend to make up for such things if I were to ever have kids.
There is people worst off,I sort of believe in karma(I think that's what they call it).If someone is down on a few bucks,I give it to them.What goes around comes around right? Well a few weeks ago I got a counterfeit bill from my banks ATM.I went to purchase something only to find out that I'm half out because of a clever fake.Then someone pays for it,that's where the karma comes in.The bank refunded it,but it was not a situation you want to be in.That's why I try to help out,you never know when that can happen to you.
Damn, reading this thread make me realize how lucky I am to have a decent life. I really feel for you guys. I don't want to sound like an ass or anything, but if any of you need some help or anything I can help. I dunno if I can help you with any of your monetary problems but I can always give support. Reading all of your guys problems makes me want to do something about them. I hope someday I will have enough power to change peoples lives for the good.
Thanks guys you've given me the determination I need to do well in life, so I can change things.
(This may sound like a bunch of bullshit but this is all coming from my heart)
</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (hachimitsu @ Jan 30 2004, 08:03 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <span style='color
Your League of Gentlemen quote made me giggle quite a bit. Sheese, I had totally forgotten that show....now I want to watch it again! Even though it's sick. Now I'm thinking about the vet and the turtle...</span> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>
Hahaha yes! Finally someone else who is aware of the absolute morbid glory that show produces. I have seasons 1 & 2 on dvd, and 3 is coming out soon... I absolutely love it! I've also managed to get a few friends addicted also.. and the turtle - LMAO
I think I know precisely what I mean
when I say it's a schpadoinkle day
</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (hiroshi @ Jan 30 2004, 08:26 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Oh and one thing i learnt early. Apparently you get penalised for not taking a student loan. In other words, they charge more for the tuition fees if you don't get a loan, because they consider you as well off. Frigging stupid isn't it?
dude one thing i'll say.....the system, be at american. canadian, british, or anyhting else like that, is made to get as much money from the common man as possible. the shit we put up with is just so fucked up. ur little loan thing is a prime example......theres always some condition to everything.....u *have* to do this and we're gonna charge u this much for it.....and if u dont than u'll have to pay *these* fees......either way *we* get ur money.
I've just hit rock bottom... i just realized that one of my arms is longer than the other...
Oh GOD release me from my agony!!!!
lol, dam now that u mentioned it im now looking at my arms and i notice that the middle finger on my left hand is kinda longer then the one on my right and my right midder finger is kinda crooked and the opposite for my left weird
I feel kind of bad because I've had a really good stretch of luck lately. I'm doing really well in all my classes, I landed a sweet part-time job and have accumulated almost $4000 in my savings account.
I do have a bad feeling about my girlfriend though. She's been dropping hints that she wants me to 'pop the question'. I'm only 19 and still in university and in no way ready to get married. We've been going out for about a year and a half so can't just say screw you and dump her(not that I would anyway). I'll have to think of something to keep stalling for time.
</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (villin @ Jan 31 2004, 07:43 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> I feel kind of bad because I've had a really good stretch of luck lately. I'm doing really well in all my classes, I landed a sweet part-time job and have accumulated almost $4000 in my savings account.
I do have a bad feeling about my girlfriend though. She's been dropping hints that she wants me to 'pop the question'. I'm only 19 and still in university and in no way ready to get married. We've been going out for about a year and a half so can't just say screw you and dump her(not that I would anyway). I'll have to think of something to keep stalling for time.
Lucky you. Most of the girls at my school don't even think about being in a serious relationship. It's always about flings which is like ugh.
As for you, I think you should just be blunt and strike up a conversation about getting married after college. Bring up the old financial excuse and see how she reacts. A 19 year-old getting married...lol
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