Ned: Okali Dokali
Homer: Hello my name is Mr.Burns
Mail Person: Okay mr.brns what is ur first name
Homer: I don't know.
Ned: Okali Dokali
Homer: Hello my name is Mr.Burns
Mail Person: Okay mr.brns what is ur first name
Homer: I don't know.
homer, the nite before his operation: dont worry kids, i wont die....that only happens to bad ppl
bart: what about abraham lincoln?
homer:.....he sold poisoned milk to skool children
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krusty, judging springfield movie festival (about burns' film) : lets just say it moved me.......TO A BIGGER HOUSE!
.....oh, i said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet.
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Lisa: dont u remember how u felt on ur first day of skool
milhouse: not as long as i keep taking these *holds up pills*
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chief wiggum: sorry, u got the wrong number. this is 91...2
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krusty on the "sperm machine" at the something-toruim: hey baby, remember me
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homer: gaim? whats a gaim?......*walks in*.....OH! A Gaim!
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homer: aw its a boy....and WHAT A BOY!
dr. Hibert: umm, no mr. simpson, thats the umbilical (sp) cord
I don't remember the exact wording of this, but here goes:
Judge: Doctor Nick Riviera, you have been charged with the crime of performing major operations with a knife and fork.
Nick: But I cleaned them with my napkin!
I think I know precisely what I mean
when I say it's a schpadoinkle day
the sympsons are travling to brawnson to retrieve grampa and they stop in the wrong town where every one looks like charles brawnson anyways the qoute is
brawnson kid: hey ma can i get a cookie
brawnson mom:no dice
brawnson kid:this ain't over
thats it for now
Some great quotes
Trying is the first step towards failure-Homer
Homer: "And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"
Homer: "Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night. (great one )
Homer: "Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try
Bart: "What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it
Homer: "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
Homer: "Ha ha! Look at this country! ? R U Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe)
Homer: "Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs."
Bart: "There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson
Lisa: What do the lyrics "yvan eht nioj" mean?
Homer: Oh Lisa, they're not supposed to mean anything, it's just nonsense. Like "rama-dama-dingdong", or "Give peace a chance"!
I think I know precisely what I mean
when I say it's a schpadoinkle day
ok the food chain film in lisa's class was funny the gorilla reaching for bananas and then a shark eating him then the dog catching a frisbee...
Homer: Lisa you don't win friends with salad
Bart: you don't win friends with salad
BART AND HOMER: you don't win friends with salad,you don't win friends with salad
moe: i don't like our new general robert e lee
apu: THE SOUTH SHALL COME AGAIN!
SIMPSONS TORRENTS
frink: oh,eh,GAILVEN!
frink: those monkeys are going to pay
Haha Simpsons quotes are so funny. Anyone got anymore funny ones, I want to read them. I know alot but I only remember a couple.
Ned Flanders is Noah From Noah's Ark
Ned: I have brought two of every animal on the boat. And to make sure nothing bad happens I brought all males...... hey you two zebras what are you doing back there!?!
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Homer sees Marges weird breakfast
Lisa: Don't worry Dad I'll help you get out of this... hey dad want to go see my science fair project?
Homer: No Lisa, but I sure don't want to eat this crappy breakfast.
Same episode
Dr Nick: Inflammable means flammable? What a country!
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Episode when they were moving the Springfield Isotopes
Homer: Well sometimes I'll be quirky. I'll be quirky? Albaquerque!
ahhh the elevator seen wit mindy that hot chick
anyways here it goes
ahhhhh, i mean heeeeellllo that was the funniest shit ive seen
hmm i think ima order me a tab, pushes the tab button onthe keyboard hey wheres my TAB
this from the eps where they had the beer pouring contest here it goes cant remember it well but i think its right
titana: but duff man usaid that if i sleep wit u i didnt have to touch any of these filth men ( i thnk its right )
Duff man: duff man says alot of things OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Wiggum: Sugar's made my Ralphy hyper.
Ralph: I'm happy and angry!!!
The one where Homer becomes a missionary to avoid paying his pledge to PBS (an all-around super funny ep)
after the failure of the Lucky Savage, he finishes the chapel and says something like:
I may not know much about God, but I'd have to say we built Him a pretty nice cage.
In that same ep Bart is talking to Homer using a Hamm radio
B: Dad, are you licking toads?
H: I'm not not licking toads...
SAVE ME JEBUS!
Apu: ok one doughnut with sprinkles, UH!, wait a minute a twizzler is not a sprinkle, a jolly rancher is not a sprinkle A MOUNDS BAR is not a sprinkle maybe in some sang-ger-la-la land but not here sir i have to ask you to get out!,..thank you come again...
skinner: and now uter who did charlie and the chocolate factory
uter: i begged you to let me go first i begged you
i just thought of some of them, im not to sure if im 100% accurate on the wording.
-homer looks at keyboard: "what is this? keterl? (he's looking at CTRL)"
i think he also said: "Where's the 'any' key?"
-the news reporter talking about homer when he was filling an important sheet for lisa: "where is was written 'do not write here.' homer wrote 'ok'.
-halloween episode when grounds keeper willy was killing students in their sleep:
Lisa: Now we have to fear of dying when we sleep!
Grandpa: Welcome to my world! *falls asleep*
-when homer's mom came back and they're all talking at the dinner table.
homer's mom: "if i move here where can i live?"
lisa: "you can stay at grandpa's house."
/everyone laughs
grandpa: "hahahaha I'm a living joke."
that's a classic.
"OH MY GOD THIS MAN IS MY EXACT DOUBLE...*GASP* THAT DOG HAS A PUFFY TAIL HIHI HERE PUFF HERE PUFF AHI HIHI" - Homer Simpson
"Homer, you're only hearing what you want to hear."
"Thanks, Marge, I would love an omlette right about now"
"No TV and Beer make homer go something something"
"crazy?"
"crazy? dont mind if i do.. blaurgfjkse"
Ralph:"My parents won't let me use scissors."
(Children Laughing at Ralph)
Ms. Hoover:"The children are right to laugh at you Ralph. These things couldn't cut butter."
Ralph:"Chocolate microscopes?"
Ralph:"Ms. Hoover?"
Ms. Hoover:"Yes, Ralph."
Ralph:"My worm crawled in my mouth and I ate it. Can i have a new one?"
Ms. Hoover:"No Ralph, there are no more worms anymore. Just try to sleep while the other children are learning."
Ralph:"Oh boy sleep! That's when i'm a viking."
last 1 is my fav lol
the insanity pepers ep..
homer: and that talking cayote must've been that talking dog
dog: find your soul mate homer
homer: wait a minute....dogs can't talk *looks at dog*
dog: woof
homer: damn rite!
.....................................
ralph, at camp krusty...
*looks at fake krusty* "he's funny, but not haha funny" (its one of those, gotta b there things)
.....................................
homer hiding form pbs...
homer: sanctuary!! saaanctuarryyy!
rev. lovejoy: oh, y did i teach him that word.
homer: u gotta help me....pbs is after me. thier blood thirsty pursuit is made possible by a grant from the *somethign* foundation.........i'll do whatever u want, i'll help with ur next charity scam!
rev. lovejoy: the word is "drive" homer.
homer: sure sure, bobs ur uncle!
.......................................
sideshow bob:.....and coveralls that dont quite COVER ALL! (in the ep with cecil)
......................................
skinner remembering vietnaam: no, jhonny.....jhonny! JHONNNNNYYYYYYY!!!!!!! !
Homer: You don't know what it's like, Marge! I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line! And I'm not out of order. You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the truth? YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Coz when you reach over and put your hand in a pile of goo that used to be your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it Marge, it's Chinatown!
Marge: Homer, don't ever tell them personal stuff about me again!
Homer: (scared) yes ma'am!
I think I know precisely what I mean
when I say it's a schpadoinkle day
Hm... once in the episode where they got stranded in japan, and was gutting fish for money.
Bart: (gutting fish) "Knife goes in, guts come out. Knife goes in, guts come out."
Fish: "Spare me my life, and i shall grant you three wi-" *shnk!* "aaaarhh!!!"
Bart: "Knife goes in, guts come out."
this is the eps where homer trys to play mr burns and get the evil letter that he sent to burns anyways
Homer: hello, my name is mr burns, i think u have a letter for me.
the guy at the front counter: ok mr burns wuts ur first name.
Homer: i dont know. he runs out of the post office
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