My Naruto FanFic

[DeluxSkillz]

ok so I started a little Naruto fanfic well little i'm not quiet sure about that but before I continue i would like some of your opinions on this wether it's bad or good or whatever here's the link https://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1646413

any feed back would be greatly appreciated so i can turn my self into a better writer, i always felt that the naruto charachters were a little to young so this fic starts off when naruto has the age of 16 anyway i hope you enjoy bigger and longer chapters will follow this is like the intro to the story

[Destroyor]

ok .... I'm just going to be honest ... and please keep in mind that I'm no English expert myself.

Ok .... right from the start there for ----> therefore

Sakura is sitting in front of her window gazing into the darkness, images shoot trough her mind "You really are annoying." a tear ...

"Haha, way to slow Naruto-kun!" Kakashi

and the list goes on and on

IMHO, the story would be better in past tense. Naruto and Kakashi seem out of character as well ... and the plot is .. well non-existence.

Sorry if it's a bit harsh but ... nice try

ok I better shut up now.

[DeluxSkillz]

ah well yeah that's my fault i should've done a speel check i totally forgot and english isn't my mother language by the way, the plot is non-existent by the way because it has to build itself up this is just kinda like a short intro to the story and what you can expect, naruto is out of charachter because he has changed in those 4 years i'm not doing the overly happy naruto as we know it's gonna be a totally different naruto

[DeluxSkillz]

17 vieuws and 0 replies hmmmm atleast take a minuteto respond even if you only got bad things to say about it any critique would be good

[Nine Tailed Demon]

spell check