My Naruto FanFic

[DeluxSkillz]

ok so I started a little Naruto fanfic well little i'm not quiet sure about that but before I continue i would like some of your opinions on this wether it's bad or good or whatever here's the link https://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1646413

any feed back would be greatly appreciated so i can turn my self into a better writer, i always felt that the naruto charachters were a little to young so this fic starts off when naruto has the age of 16 anyway i hope you enjoy bigger and longer chapters will follow this is like the intro to the story

[DeluxSkillz]

17 vieuws and 0 replies hmmmm atleast take a minuteto respond even if you only got bad things to say about it any critique would be good

[Destroyor]

ok .... I'm just going to be honest ... and please keep in mind that I'm no English expert myself.

Ok .... right from the start there for ----> therefore

Sakura is sitting in front of her window gazing into the darkness, images shoot trough her mind "You really are annoying." a tear ...

"Haha, way to slow Naruto-kun!" Kakashi

and the list goes on and on

IMHO, the story would be better in past tense. Naruto and Kakashi seem out of character as well ... and the plot is .. well non-existence.

Sorry if it's a bit harsh but ... nice try

ok I better shut up now.

[Nine Tailed Demon]

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