We're definitely not moralizing assassination.
The equivalence is no different from a vegan hating a slaughterhouse, or celebrities and their relationship with paparazzi. The vegan or the celebrity finds the existence of the profession morally repellent, but it is just a job to the person doing it.
As stated before, the joke is how horribly skewed and occasionally alarming Yor's value sets are, like admiring and fiddling with knives while blushing.
Your fan-fiction aside (a staple of any anime season!), I don't intend to change your mind, only keep you watching the series.
As for the moral superiority of German media in comparison to American media...trust me, we watch your films too. They're no less hyperviolent at times, and maybe the only difference is whether or not we glorify it (which our media obviously don't always do). But the allure of depicting violence on screen is shared by both.
I very distinctly remember the difference between Das Experiment (2001) and our shitty 2010 American remake. Keep in mind, the real-world events that inspired both took place in an American University, and are more closely portrayed in the remake. The hyperviolent version of the events is the German version.