Kirito not going all out on Zekken had nothing to do with her sex. He knew she was female from the start, but only held back around the middle of the fight as he himself stated. It had something to do with whatever they chatted about.
There are decent males outside of Kirito in the story. One of which is Agil.
And about Asuna being forced into anything. Didn't she just rebel against her mom completely this episode?
Seriously Mfauli. Relax a bit before ranting. It'll help your arguments.