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Sat, 02-11-2012, 07:05 PM
#1
Blasts from the Past: Movies
This thread is for movies you've seen recently that are older and don't deserve their own threads or necro-ing threads but someone might care to read a review about before wasting 2 hours watching it.
I just saw Underworld, the first one, and man what a terrible terrible movie. They've been showing it on HBO probably to hype up the new 3D movie in theatres, but I think anyone who sees the first one won't bother seeing any of the sequels.
I think it fits with the tired genre of action films starring non-athletic, non-action type females in the starring role of the badass killer. Kate Beckinsale fits this archetype perfectly, which is to say terribly. It would appear from the movie that her only vampire ability is to survive drops from tall heights, as the only other power she demonstrates is the ability to fire 500 rounds from an 18-round magazine.
I'd say it's 2 hours of mindless fun, but it wasn't funny or fun to watch poorly CGI'd werewolves fight vampires with no special powers, so they just shoot guns at each other the entire movie.
Rating: D-
“For God will not permit that we shall know what is to come... those who by some sorcery or by some dream might come to pierce the veil that lies so darkly over all that is before them may serve by just that vision to cause that God should wrench the world from its heading and set it upon another course altogether and then where stands the sorcerer? Where the dreamer and his dream?”
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