HA, that is just fantastic!

I especially loved this part:
"I'll starve to death before I'll cook for myself. I think I could survive a week without eating."

Good stuff

Also, i do like Michael Bay alot more than i like Megan Fox, because say what you want about his newer movies, the dude has made some earlier ones that i really do like, like these:

Bad Boys (1 and 2)
The Rock
Armageddon
Pearl Harbor
The Island