The meaning to YOUR life - do you have one?

[Buffalobiian]

Following up from this: http://forums.gotwoot.net/showthread...&postcount=493

What keeps you driving in your life? Why do you get out of bed everyday, knowing that every night, you'll just fall asleep again (if you're lucky enough to get sleep), and wake up the next day? Why bother? Are you simply functioning so you can survive, to survive so you can function?

Do you have dreams or wishes? Why is that? Why do you want to achieve it? Does it take effort? Is it worth it? What happens if you get it? Will you be happy?

Is there anything you care about? That you really want to do, or love doing right now? Why do you like it so much? Why spend the effort? What's the reward? Does there need to be one? What if there's nothing of that sort, and you live a pretty passionless life, is there a problem to that?

[Pandadice]

such nihilistic questions..

i use to wake up only to watch anime, and i actually hated sleeping, because it took away from my anime watching time. but then, work isn't that bad. it gets me money for food afterall, and i do enjoy eating.

but nowadays i'm just so apathetic to anime.. the only ones that I even feel like watching anymore would be Lupin vs Conan, which i plan to watch with friends when they get time, and then I watched the newest ep of Eve no Jikan, just because that's such an awesome anime..

but now i'm bored of this simple anime viewing life.. i dream of adventure, and long to experience it everyday. something new, something fresh. i'm gonna find my adventure, and then I fear I might fade from this community. :\

[Cal_kashi]

That's a lot of questions. I'll answer as time permits in many edits of this post.
Such loaded questions too =P.
Life's purpose/the meaning of life/ my life's goals: I've boiled it down to one thing.
To do my part such that the world is a better place when I leave it, because of my actions.
However such a holistic outlook does little to address the more fine-grained inquires you've put forth. more to come later.

[David75]

Sex

Just as simple as that.
And sometimes having a uber great time in a restaurant.

Third would be to feel emotions from a show, be it laughing, almost crying or speechless.


Other than that, I admitt there isn't much that is worth it.

[Assertn]

Sex

Just as simple as that.
And sometimes having a uber great time in a restaurant.

Third would be to feel emotions from a show, be it laughing, almost crying or speechless.


Other than that, I admitt there isn't much that is worth it.

Lol, are you serious?



I see you've gone far in your hierarchy of needs.

Seriously though...
Sex is good and all, but its better as a means towards a greater sense of fulfillment, rather than just the act itself.

[David75]

Maslow Pyramid and the meaning to my life are two different things.
Plus Maslow Pyramid is theoretical, real life is quite different

But you're right to argue, I meant High quality sex and love sharing.

I could care less about problem solving, morality (highly culture related... or is it only law related in this case?), respect by others.

[Assertn]

There's a certain satisfaction to be had by exceeding peoples' expectations of yourself.
A sense of continuous accomplishment never gets boring.

[David75]

There's a certain satisfaction to be had by exceeding peoples' expectations of yourself.
A sense of continuous accomplishment never gets boring.

The first part:
Well it's a lot of energy for not much. It's alsojust an illusion most of the time.
People's expectations? I've become very cautious of them, because these are a make do for dreams they aren't able to fulfill and impose on you most of the time.

And the continuous accomplishment, well I fail to know what this is I admitt, but living with someone you truly love and who loves you back the same probably is a nice alternative.

[Xelbair]

I just try to enjoy life and have as much fun as possible and take bad sides with stoic calmness. I try to find beauty in everything i see(i wish i could take good photos - i have a lot of great ideas for photos but i lack skill to take them), etc.
Also i enjoy learning new things - that is one of my reasons.
and also i like damned romantic ideas deep in heart - which annoys me deeply sometimes - i just can't do some things most of people do thanks to that...

//drunkpost but true one

[Killa-Eyez]

My meaning to life is to do whatever is necessary to enable the things I love to do. Be as good a person as I can be, maybe find a love who can return mine. Find the right balance to the fun, and not so fun part of life. I'm a libra, and I hope I can weigh out the not so fun part a little with lots of fun! Make myself satisfied with my life, personality and the people that surround me. Influence people in a positive way and leave behind a legacy. I've always wanted to be a ninja since I was a little kid and I remember that to not forget who I am.. A NINJA!

[darkshadow]

Entertainment, creating and enjoying it.

[XanBcoo]

I see you've gone far in your hierarchy of needs.

I think what he's describing is "sexual intimacy", which is slightly higher up .

such nihilistic questions..

Such loaded questions too

There's nothing about his questions that are nihilistic, and neither are they "loaded". You two don't know what those words mean.

I'm afraid I can't really answer your questions, Buffalobiian, because I'm still looking for the answers myself. There is nothing that I have driving me right now, and I only get out of bed everyday because of some sense of obligation that I haven't been able to rationalize. I feel myself being disinterested in many of the things I was once passionate about. I'm sure I will come out of this rut, but right now I feel like I'm drifting.

I suppose I'm at a time in my life where I need to start defining myself by what I do, as well as by who I am. It's a little scary. I've gone through a lot of emotional changes recently, and I feel like I'm 16 again and have no idea who I am.

The only dreams or wishes I have are still vague concepts to me. Several of the lower rungs on that pyramid, for example, are things which I still find myself striving to achieve. Safety, Belonging, and Esteem are all areas in which I feel I am lacking. However, I am not afraid to work for these things and I am confident I will be happy once I have done so.

tl;dr: "Excretion"

What about you, Buff?

[Buffalobiian]

Me? I don't think I've ever gotten past the age of 16. I'm just as unsure of myself now as I was back when I was picking universities and tertiary courses. Only now that I've picked one and am 1 year away from finishing, logic and lack of effort are keeping me from changing. Not that I'd know what to change to anyway.

Now that the end of the road is coming near, and I'll have to make more choices, I'm forced to rethink about what it is I want to do, and why I want to do whatever I said I want to do.

I'm a pharmacy student, that's how I identify myself, but that'll no longer be the case when I graduate. If things go smoothly, I'll be a pre-reg pharmacist, or maybe a medical student. But what else am I? Am I simply a member of a profession? Is that simply a job, or something with a higher sense of satisfaction than just money? I don't know. Do I find satisfaction in practicing? Not particularly.


What else am I? A pianist? I've stopped playing for about 6 months due to time constraints, and I don't really miss it. Without a real interest in it, and playing almost mechanical-like, can I still call myself one?


As if to test it, I've skipped classes for the past few days to do various things, like watching a movie or sleeping, or buying stuff I want. I didn't feel any urge to to back or guilt about not turning up to class, now that they're not compulsory. I should be more interested in what I do, or do what I'm interested in, but I'm not hooked by anything.

Sometimes, I wake up in the morning and think about why I should bother waking up for a class. When I'm there, I sleep through half of them anyway.

Taking recent happenings as examples, the only drive I've experienced lately are all materialistic. The urge to get a headset, the urge to get a game, and most recently, the urge to get a figurine (which I haven't yet accomplished). I'm not a shoppaholic, and am far from it in terms of impulsive buying, wanting to spend money, or overspending planned amounts. It's just that I'm just "living" to satisfy those basic needs, and random materialistic wants from time to time.

Eating, sleeping and entertainment are all that I tend to think about. I'm not a bum, but I could well act like one if given the chance, and if not for the fear of social marginalisation and financial insecurity.

I'm looking for a reason to get off my ass and do something.

--------------------------------
lost my edit. Short rewrite:

Back in school, and highschool, I worked to meet my parent's, then my teachers' and my peer's expectations. Being somewhat gifted at study, it was all that I could identify myself with really. So I strived to be, and stayed at the top for my subjects. Soon, this expectation became my own expectations. I started stiving because I myself was wanting to get these higher marks. Subconsciously, I do think I wanted to impress, to show what I could do. Even if the few hunks and stuff teased, I continued to pursue academically, satisfied in knowing at least someone knows what I'm doing, and acknowledges it, whether it's in a positive way or not.

Then can tertiary education, where everybody's on their own. You look after your own studies. You work to meet your own expectations. Soon, I found that I had none. There's no point in aiming for the top anymore. Where is the top anyway. I suddenly didn't feel obliged to work that hard anymore. And like an infection, it made me question all my other actions. Why do I bother doing them? More often than not, it's not because I want to. So why then? What are the things I want to do? Answers are mostly those basic needs on the piyramid. So is that all there is to me? An organism just getting along, surviving day after day. Doing what's necessary to exist.

Simply, physically, existing.

Is that living? Is that a life?

[darkshadow]

... I should be more interested in what I do, or do what I'm interested in, but I'm not hooked by anything....

Another thing I say is if you really want something, so not talking about your urges to splurge some money, you should just reach out and touch it. As in, if you want something, go for it.
Even if end result is less then ideal or even worse then where you started of, cause if you don't you will hate yourself, or at least regret, in the future for not at least trying.

[KitKat]

Oh my gosh, so many questions. I'll see if I can answer some of them, as they pertain to my life and experience.

First up, your most recent question - is just physically existing "living"? In the technical sense of the word, yes. But it's like being on a sports team and only sitting on the sidelines, never actually playing.

My life is an epic adventure. Every day is different, and every day brings new opportunities. I've entrusted my future to God and though I'm not quite sure where I'll end up, I know that it will be awesome. Even when things are tough and life is painful, I can still be joyful. It's taken me a lot of time to get to this point, and I asked myself a lot of these questions along the way. Sure I have things I'm passionate about like knitting and anime and physics, but apart from the greater purpose of my life, these things mean nothing. I'm not so much trying to reach a goal as I'm on a journey, and each day of the journey matters. Is it worth it? Absolutely, more than I ever imagined. Am I happy? Well, happiness is not quite the right word, because it's negated by sadness. I'd say perhaps that there is an underlying current of peace and joyfulness, despite what my emotions of the day may be. I know who I am and I know that I am meaningful and significant.

You are unique. You have so much potential. Your life can have as much or as little meaning and impact as you decide to claim for yourself. Sometimes you just need to see your life from a new perspective. Bill, maybe you should consider spending some time volunteering. You might find that through helping other people, you actually do care more than you realized. I count myself as one among the people on this forum who truly cares about you, and I'm praying that you find the meaning and purpose that you're looking for as well as a passion that will totally revolutionize your life.

[Xelbair]

From what i just read i see that your way of life is similar to mine - discover the world, enjoy the life and don't go "world hates me!" when things go bad but face them.

But our basic point is different - you chose God, i chose doing what I like to(which mostly is having fun, helping friends and family(I bitch sometimes about it but i really enjoy it) and my hobbys(reading, anime, guitar, RPG, swordfighting, games)) because I just want to.

[Uchiha Barles]

Whoa...nice topic.

Well, My meaning of life...I guess in a discussion like this, I have to mention that I'm a spiritual person, and somewhat religious (christianity). I try my best to live within the framework set forth by the concepts found in that spirituality and religion. That framework does allow for a lot different pursuits in life though, which I don't really think any one person can cover.

The way I choose to spend my time is to wake up, train my body (flexibility, strength training, martial arts, jogging), train my mind (music, math/science), make money, and continue to grow the relationships I have. Now, I don't train my body and mind for the sake of training them. I do it because I enjoy to an extremely high degree some of the activities listed there. I love martial arts. LOVE it. For me, it's not about harming another human being. It's about play and competition. Using one's own body to outwit, outmaneuver, and ultimately outplay another person. The joy comes not in the end result for me, but the process. I love the little things, the intricacies that happen in a sparring match, and to a lesser degree, an actual fight.The other things I mentioned are all done to support my martial arts.

For the mental training, I love all the activities listed. For music, it's the end result that matters more than the process. I love having skill on the guitar, not so much practicing (though it is necessary, so I do it). I love having skill at writing and composing music, not so much the process of building it. I also love to listen to the finished products of others (if I deem it 'good'). Ultimately, I want to be able to play the things I hear in my head, and improve the things I hear in my head. For math and science, both the process and the end result are important to me. It's the process of discovery is enjoyable to me, and the end result of discovery is clearer (every so slightly) understanding of the reality I live in. Furthermore, the end results and process feed off each other. Discovery leads to understanding, and understanding to further discovery. This appeals to me.

Relationships in my life are extremely important. I have two kind I care a lot about: Family, and friends. I love both of them, and in fact, I barely differentiate between the two. The only difference, is that I understand that friends are less likely to view me as actual family than family is. These things guide how I treat the important people in my life. Spending time with these people is generally wonderful. Whether we set out to do certain activities together, like snowboarding, dining, training, or simply embark on chill/bullshit sessions, it's always wonderful. Sex is great, but I think I differ a bit from David in this respect. While I don't accept cheating, at all, I can accept not having sex. Sex should only be done with a person you're emotionally intimate with imo, but at the same time, I can take it or leave it. I think I get most of the intimacy I seek, without sex. That might explain it.

Now, making money...well that's simple. Most of everything I described above, requires money. I want to protect and provide for those I care for, myself included. I want all our necessities met, and then some, so that we can live, instead of survive. By "live", I mean pursue those things that bring us joy and fulfillment. That is the role of money for me. My bank account is not my "Scorecard of life." And I don't seek or use it to impress. I use it simply to meet, as much as possible, the needs of those I care for that we can spend our time and energy on the wonderful things in life which aren't necessary to survive.

These are the reasons I bother to wake up in the morning

[Uchiha Barles]

I apologize for the double posting, but my previous post was long, and I felt compelled to reply to Buffalobian's post.

@ Buff:

I feel for you. All my life I've felt the pressure of meeting other people's expectations, but I consider myself lucky in life for one reason: no matter how many voices spoke to me from the outside, my voice was always present, it always had something to say, and it was never drowned out. What I mean by that is that there were times when I had to meet expectations, but I never, ever once forgot what it is I wanted to do, and I never lacked the want to do something.
If you'll hear it, I'd like to give you some advice.

1) Ensure that you have everything set up for a financially secure future. Because of the things you've already done, the path of least resistance to that is to finish up your education and basically do the things you've already mentioned.

2) This one is extremely important. Create the opportunity for you to have a chance to explore things. This means first and foremost, don't take on any more obligations than is absolutely necessary. Not at this point your life. I don't mean your age either, I mean the point you're at emotionally and spiritually. Free up as much of your time as you can, so you can use it to actively pursue things you haven't pursued before.

3) If you manage to do 1 and 2, for each activity you pick, I recommend both looking into the details of the activities, and stepping back, and looking at how these activities fit into the the rest of what you do with your life. The point of this is, you may find joy in the details, or you may find joy in the puzzle, or both.
I'll use music as an example since you play piano. You can likely recognized musical compositions that require a good deal of technical ability to play. You can also probably recognize melodies and harmonies that are particularly beautiful and/or interesting. You can probably recognize compositions that are interestingly complex or cleverly simple. For each of the things I've mentioned, you may even be able to pinpoint just what makes them as I described. This would be looking at the detail.
For stepping back, you'd want to not so much focus on those details, but simply listen. You'd want to almost "let the music run through you". When I do that (and I fully understand that music may not be the way to go for you), I find that the music reminds me of things, of people, and places. The music draws out emotions, sometimes soothing, sometimes energizing, sometimes sending me into contemplation. As a result of doing these things for years with music, I now almost always have a soundtrack in my head that fits the experiences I go through. And almost all music I hear reminds me of experiences I've been through. This is wonderful to me.

Now, that is not to say that every activity can net you this particular enjoyement or fulfillment, or that any activity has certain enjoyment or fulfillment to give you. My hope is, that some activity has some kind of fulfillment and enjoyment for you. Whatever it is, as long as it's something you look forward to experiencing. You might try just hanging out with people, and there are different people to meet and get to know. Might try picking up a sport. Maybe traveling, or learning about our world be it it's people and cultures, it's foods, it's natural beauty or the underlying mechanics of why and how it even exists. Whatever you choose, apply the things I mentioned in step 3. Or at least try to.

Here's to hoping this helps you out. Even if I don't know you, I can't imagine not knowing what makes me tick, and it pains me a bit to hear that another human being doesn't.

[lilphatboi88]

Wow, great insight and advice from everybody. Knowing that there are such wise people around, I was wondering if I can get a question answered.

I'm at the point in my life where I got one year left in college. I will be majoring in International Studies, China concentration. My problem is, I want to achieve something great in this world, make a real significant change that will help people. However, I don't know how I can achieve this goal and I agree with UCHIHA BARLES, I need money to do the things I want to do.

I don't have a job. I am working to increase my accumulated GPA so that Grad School is an option in the future. And I really don't know what I can do, or will do with my major.

Can you guys give me any insight on what I should be doing right now? Much thanks.

[Uchiha Barles]

I think I have some decent advice, since you asked xD. Keep in mind, I'm not someone who's accomplished great things, but I do have some ambitions that could be called great. So definitely take this with a grain of salt.

Well, I was going to ask if you knew specifically some of the "great things" you wanted to accomplish, but found out that it barely matters. First thing's first, if you don't know what you want to do that's great, find out. Let your thoughts fly, dream, and use that as a guideline to figure out just how you'll want to make your mark. This is the fun part.

The second part, which is much less fun, is you need to frame those dreams in reality. This doesn't mean settle for a less ambitious dream that's "kind of like" the one you came up with. It means taking a look at the world, in particular the parts of the world that directly relate to your dream, and see how the dream fits in the world. See what obstacles you're likely to encounter. The better your understanding of the world, the better the framework you'll be able to set for your ambitions. This framework is in large part going to tell you what you need to do. The better the framework, the clearer the path.

Here's a word of caution for you. The parts of the world you focus on will be determined by your ambition, and the depth of knowledge you seek will be determined by your definition of "great things". Depending on where you look and how deep you look, you may not like what you find.

For more specific information I'd have to know some more specifics about your ambitions. Either way, finishing school with as high a gpa as you can get seems like a good starting point for most things I can think of, seeing as you've already been on that path for so long.