Originally Posted by
Ryllharu
I'm perched on the edge of my serviceable and affordable Ikea couch, typing away on my laptop with my desktop in the other room. A cup of lukewarm tea on one side of the coffee table and a serviceable and affordable bottle of bourbon on the other. The ceiling fan spins slowly, making a faint creaking noise every so often. The sun has come up, leaving the sky an eerie, toxic yellow. It's not warm enough to be comfortable, not cold enough to put on socks. The distant hum and thunks of the aging refrigerator is a grating distraction. The stale smell of yesterday's evening meal lingers faintly in the room, as it always does until I cook something else.
There's an ancient CRT sitting on the desk, with my keyboard pressed right up to the edge, poking over just enough to make typing uncomfortable. I'm booted up into Windows 8.1 Safe Mode (achieved with difficulty). It's been four days since my old video card choked on dust and burned out its circuitry. Two days since a replacement video card arrived. Two long days. Too-busy days. Explorer indicates that there's another 2 hours to move all my files on to an external.
The new video card purrs pleasantly like a cat sunning itself on a linoleum floor. Not at all like the throaty whine of the old card working through its paces, its fan steadily gaining dust without my knowledge. But the part that kills me inside is the monitor going to sleep moments after windows boots. I don't understand. First comes the rage at the monitor. That sleek poseur used to be frequently consumed by ennui, thinking it knew better than my computer when a signal was being outputted. After I beat it into submission, I forgot about the issue. I got careless.
Right before I was about to tug the computer over to my television to I get the bright idea that I have not one, but two ancient CRT monitors in the basement for just this kind of shindig. I tug the plug out of the apathetic LCD and press it smoothly into the back of the old workhorse, placed uncomfortably on the floor. A VGA-DVI adapter and I'm back in business. Or so I think.
The computer still fails to wake the monitor after booting. I struggle, but manage to coax the aging beast into Safe Mode. I install the video card drivers and go for a reboot. Back in business...but my hopes filled only to be dashed moments later. The monitor, even the dependable CRT, still goes comatose like a junkie that got a bad batch.
I struggle to get the old beast into the BIOS. I try each of the display adapter settings, except Onboard which is screwed shut. No dice. I drop back into Safe Mode and load up the brower. I test the LCD again, figuring the problem ain't it, its some part of the corrupted OS. I leave it in Safe Mode and swap the cables, eager to get off the floor. Again, the smart-mouthed punk still thinks it knows better. Piece of trash ain't worth the plastic its made out of. I push the CRT on the desk and plug the cables back in. Always nice to have a reliable friend in trying circumstances, there for you when it really counts.
Searches end in vain, results from 2009 or calls to update my drivers. Hope wells with reports of power settings, only to realize they're talking about it going to sleep after 15 minutes. What a bunch of worthless shitheads, I muse. I stumble upon vaguely worded instructions about disabling a phantom monitor. Looks promising. Same symptoms, hopes rise again. I manage to find the keystroke combination (it's only a single button on a laptop) and try for the switch. A prompt comes up, telling me my computer isn't set up for multiple monitors. Hell.
I go for the last resort. Windows Refresh. I cozy up, spirits lifted that it identified missing files. Corrupted dll maybe? I set it off, and requests a form of media to restore the missing files. I pull out the disk, a smile of relief just starting to form on my face. This Disk Isn't Valid, the screen reads. Of course it is, I shout inside my head. It's a legal copy...of Windows 8, not 8.1. No way out, time to back up my files and fry the whole thing.
So I sit here with a barely warm cup of tea, wondering if I should even bother to restore the seven year old beast. The motherboard and Window 8 get together like a couple at marriage counseling, arguing whether or not they should even accept the USB 3.0 card. They agree to have it live apart from either of them, unless the motherboard got back with her old flame Windows Vista, the restore partition.
I'm too impatient to build a new PC from components. I'm a busy guy, with lots of responsibilities and no where near enough time on my hands to get to them all. A lot of projects need my personal attention, and this is just the latest one. At the same time, I have more important things to spend the money on instead of buying a lithe and sexy pre-built model.
I hang my head in my hands and click, "Submit Reply."
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