Terra defeats your privacy part 302: The Relationship (& luv) Thread

[docdan63]

ok, let me clear some stuff up

@Lucifus-first of all, you should go on these types of forums and talk about things that other people can help with, It's healthy. Second of all, YOU'RE FREKKIN 16 !! you shouldn't even be thinking about happily ever after for another 11-12 years, at least. Enjoy yourself through high school for godssake


Why do you people only think about long term stuff all the time, when most of us our no where near thinking about that in our lives? It's stupid, and you're only reducing enjoyment of your youth by even talking about it, let alone worrying about it or wanting to be that way

[The Heretic Azazel]

~40% of all relationships end with divorce
~60% of all relationships contain unfaithfulness on somebody's part

(can't remember the exact number for divorces)

So in other words yeah. You're doomed, monogamy is a myth and people are whores.

Also, you'll die old, penniless and unable to use the bathroom on your own. And there is no God at the end.

The only real way to escape the monotony is to go anti-cosmic and off yourself immediately like Jon Nödveidt of DIssection. Humanity is hopeless.

[Terracosmo]

"Go anti-cosmic", ROFL. Awesome expression.

[Yukimura]

@Lucifus-first of all, you should go on these types of forums and talk about things that other people can help with, It's healthy. Second of all, YOU'RE FREKKIN 16 !! you shouldn't even be thinking about happily ever after for another 11-12 years, at least. Enjoy yourself through high school for godssake

Why do you people only think about long term stuff all the time, when most of us our no where near thinking about that in our lives? It's stupid, and you're only reducing enjoyment of your youth by even talking about it, let alone worrying about it or wanting to be that way

It's probably b/c lots of girls start having their "all relationships should lead to perfect long-term boyfriend-girlfriend pairings that will lead to engagement and then marriage" fantasies at about 15-16. The ones that don't buy into this and just try to have fun are often labeled sluts or whores and looked down upon. Thus a guy has little choice but to try an adapt to this demand to make a relationship work if he wants a girl with a decent reputation (even though he likely knows there's little chance it'll work out like that).

[Assassin]

Also, "enjoyment" is really subjective. For you (docdan) a short term relationship, where both parties just enjoy each otehrs company, both physically and emotionally, with no concerns about the next 6 months is enjoyable. To others, a more stable, longterm relationship that they've planned out for the next year and beyond, and that could eventually lead to marriage is what they'd condier "enjoyable".

So ya, i agree that you should just enjoy and have fun.....in whatever way you see fit.

Oh, and for those who long for a "happily ever after" story....my cousin recently got engaged to his high school sweetheart. It was like 5 years in the making, cuz they liked each other since like gr 12, then broke up (and he was miserable) and had a sort of love/hate relationship for a while (especially cuz he knew her family really well, and was friends with her cousins and stuff). But in the end, they managed to get back together and are getting married this fall.

So dont give up hope...happy endings do happen. Sometimes you have to work for them, while other times they fall right into your lap, but they do exist.

[docdan63]

wow, I wasn't aware that 15-16 girls thought that early on their perfect life partners. And like I said I can only speak from a male perspective. Thanks for the nugget of advice.


And yes I agree that the ones that don't buy into that are generalized as slutty and whorish.


@Kitkat:However, let me ask you this. Can a girl say....in college. date a guy who doesn't even go there(visiting) and have fun with him, but also begin dating him after he visits, when she comes back home? Is that a slut for only knowing him for a little while during that visist? Or is she someone who knows what she wants in her life and gives him a chance to become her boyfriend?

@assassin:well thankyou for your input and agreement

However, a guy doesn't neccessarily have to adapt. We can go for who ever we want. We're guys, we're the hunters. So we do have to adapt, but normally that doesn't mean changing ourselves for the girl. It just means not being with the right one and bc of that finding another one to date, and be with. Thats all

[Yukimura]

As to adaptation I wholeheartedly agree, but every now and then some girl will come along and a guy will want her so bad he'll really try to force himself to change in order to appease her. It's generally a sad sight, since it's doomed to failure.

She won't respect him, b/c he'll be too accomodating, and he'll eventually resent her for not making any changes for him. That's why the best line to give a guy before he starts down that path is 'There are other fish in the sea' as great as she may be it's just not worth it to try and fake yourself into a relationship.

[docdan63]

@Yuki-I don't mean to keep battling you on this. I just want to clear things up and get the facts straight.

I agree on almost everything you're saying, except the fact that guys will hate how their girlfriends won't change for them. I really don't think that matters much when there more fish in the sea. If the guy gets fed up, he's gone. Easy as that.

[Terracosmo]

However, a guy doesn't neccessarily have to adapt. We can go for who ever we want. We're guys, we're the hunters.

You probably shouldn't generalize so much. Girls are just as prone to "the hunt". Also I know several men my age (20-21) who want to marry somebody (something which seems to be "common female thinking").

I find in a lot of your questions and posts that there's this absolute difference between men and women, and in a way I agree, but when it all boils down to it both genders are human and human behavior is hardly limited to differences between genders.

Also many of you are asking Kit questions, just because she's female herself doesn't mean she knows all the answers. Many of the answers to those questions boil down to personality rather than gender IMO.

@Assassin: Yes, sure they are getting married... BUT LIFE ISN'T OVER YET IS IT MUAHAHAHA THERE WILL BE NO HAPPY ENDINGS EVER *manical laugh*

[KitKat]

Also many of you are asking Kit questions, just because she's female herself doesn't mean she knows all the answers. Many of the answers to those questions boil down to personality rather than gender IMO.

Yes, indeed. KitKat is not a normal girl. KitKat is a girl who visits anime forums and chooses to hang out with all you weird kids. If you want to know what girls think, the best way is to find a girl whose opinion you want, and ask her. Each girl can really only answer for herself about what she wants out of life and relationships. Everyone will have different answers.

[Yukimura]

@docdan: We aren't battleing, we're griping about more or less the same thing, but I'm more bitter than you and thus going beyond where you seem to stand.

@Terra It's easier to generalize than to give the benefit of the doubt to the less stereotypical women/men. Also roles matter a lot when it comes to relationships, at least in my experiance. Somone is going to be the pursuer and someone is going to be the pursued and traditionally it's men pursuing and woman who are pursued.

[Terracosmo]

traditionally it's men pursuing and woman who are pursued.

Oh, you'd be surprised. *Charismatic giggle*

[docdan63]

@yuki- glad to hear it. And yes I agree

Well, in either sense. I still don't know what to do abot my female situation, besides just going out and talking to every mildy attractive one I see my own age.

Any thoughts?


anyone know where el Boss went?

[Assertn]

This whole thread feels like a cyclical strain of posts.

[docdan63]

yeah, actually Assert, that's an interesting point and you're right.

Because it's a topic about something that can be cyclical maybe? lol

[Death BOO Z]

the only way to have an happy ending for a realtionship is to have the plane explode during the honeymoon. that's the best "happly ever after" story you can hope for.

which isn't very happt at all, if you think about it.

[XanBcoo]

I was gonna ask for this girl's number after I took my Spanish final today, but she finished before me and left. Now I probably won't see her again.

Pity 'cause I think I could have really gotten to like her. I can add her on facebook or something, but it's really not the same. Sucks.

[Lefty]

Don't let that little fact stop you from finding her and asking her out. It shows a little initiative. Women like that in a man. Go for broke or not at all.

[Yukimura]

Don't let that little fact stop you from finding her and asking her out. It shows a little initiative. Women like that in a man. Go for broke or not at all.

That's right...unless you aren't attractive to her, because then she could make a case for harassment or even stalking (maybe not in Mexico, but it's happened in America plenty of times.)

[TruthofMistake]

Well, I'm supposed to have the girl i was pursuing over tommarow night to watch Shrek 2 so that we can go see Shrek 3 on tuesday, so things seem to be working out fine for now =).