Terra defeats your privacy part 302: The Relationship (& luv) Thread

[NM]

Alright, well I just finished talking with her online. Just letting you guys know, I didn't really get anywhere, but I think now maybe the silence is broken and I can IM her regularly (I hope). Here's how it went:

Me: hey! did u happen to get a message from one of my suitemates named will?
Her: hey...haha yes i did
Her: i wrote him back and told him to say hi to u
Her: lol, yeah, he just told me
Me: he's like, "yo dan, i totally just got a message back from that girl. she said hi and good luck to u"
Me: so im like "what" and he says he sent u a message
Me: lol
Her: yea i did say that too...on ur finals
Me: lol
Her: so u never knew
Her: haha
Me: not at all
Her: thats hilarious
Me: until today
Me: lol
Me: ill be smacking him in the head tomorrow tho, lol
Her: very funny....those buddies of urs
Her: im was laughing...i ws talkign to a total stranger
Her: but its all good...
Her: how are ur finals going btw
Her: did u start them
Me: just had my bio final on thursday
Me: that one went ok i think
Me: came back home to have my dad help me with physics
Me: because
Me: physics sucks =/
Her: yea i can totally agree with u there
Her: have absolutely no interest in it at all
Her: and i can't wait till its over
Her: but theni have to take the second semester in the fall
Me: o yea, ur doing pre-med now right?
Her: yea pre dental
Me: yea! haha
Me: same
Her: no way...haha thats funny
Her: yea im thinking about it
Her: my sis is doing it now
Her: so she's kinda like u should do it
Me: its worth it in the end, u got nothin to lose really
Her: nope very true, but its A LOT of work
Her: no joke
Her: and thats going to be a pain
Me: lol, i agree with ya, but i just keep telling myself what my current bio professor tells me
Me: "u only have to study once, we dont ask u to do it again"
Me: he's a doctor so he knows
Me: lol
Her: no thats true...but its like study constantly for 2 years
Her: ughhh
Me: lol, u can get through it
Her: oh well....we'd be workign otherwise, so what the heck right
Me: yep
Me: just think of it as AP chem all over again
Me: lol
Her: a never ending AP chem...but we did get thru that
Me: yep, so u'll be fine
Her: yea we'll see how it goes
Her: for now gt get through physics
Me: i knowwww
Me: worst. science. ever
Her: seriously
Me: how u doin in it?
Her: well there's a huge curve so hopefully with that ill get a B
Her: otherwise i'd eb failing
Her: haha
Me: im in the same boat as u
Me: my final exam is gonna determine our final grade
Me: so if i get an A, i walk out with it
Her: prob can't wait to get that over with huh?
Her: that would be amazing
Me: omg
Me: if i make it through with a B, i will rejoice
Me: otherwise ill be wasting june taking it over again =(
Her: u would
Me: yep, at my college if u retake a course and u do better than u did last time, the grade on ur transcript will change and ur gpa will go up
Me: but the old grade wont disappear i think
Her: hmm but still that would be a pain to take over again
Me: i know
Me: oh man, its 4 hours monday through thursday in june
Me: i cant take 4 hours of physics a day
Me: lol
Her: i know...seriously, i dont know how anyone does it
Me: lol, same here, bio and chem totally own physics
Me: =D
Her: lol, so when's ur last day
Me: hmm, ive got my chem and physics final wednesday, and then my calc final is on the following monday
Me: so next monday and im out
Me: how about u?
Her: wednesday of that week is my last one
Her: i have nothign next week and then one mond, tues, and wed
Me: not bad
Me: i cant wait for summer to start
Her: i know....it was quick
Me: yeahhhh, freshman year is already over
Her: although i am takign a summer class
Her: just twice a weel
Her: week
Me: cool, what class?
Her: world mythology...lol, it fufills 2 requirements, so i figure i might as well
Me: nice, might as well get whatever u can fast
Me: is that why it says Rutgers 08 for u?
Her: haha...yea im planning on doing it in 3 years if i can
Her: but we'll see
Me: lol, thats a good plan
Me: so what else has been up?
Her: umm nothing really, been spenign a fortune on gas driving to school
Her: spending*
Me: ugh, i think its like 2.59 now right?
Me: i hear its gonna be at least 3 over the summer
Her: no its like 2.80 now
Her: and yea it should be going up
Her: my tank costs like over 50 to fill now
Me: =-O
Me: thats insanity
Her: i know...
Her: oh well, i do like the driving tho
Her: so, i get over it
Her: lol
Me: lol, thats a good way to think about it
Me: is ur summer class at ur college?
Her: yep
Me: ouch =/ thats gonna be alot more if u commute there for ur class
Me: same here for me if i gotta take physics over the summer =/
Her: yea but its only 2wice a week so thats better than everyday...
Her: well then i guess u better make sure u do wel now
Me: gahhhh, physics is destroying all that is good in my life, lol
Her: its almost over
Her: lol
Me: im hoping my friend can let me stay at one of his friends apartments thats like 5 minutes off campus
Me: if i have to take the class
Me: otherwise, driving to rowan at like 5 in the morning should be joyful, lol
Her: yea ...that might not be good
Her: i guess u can worry about it
Her: if it comes to that
Me: true that
Me: what classes do u have now anyways?
Her: um a psych class, stat, spanish, physics and the lab, and sociology
Me: cool
Me: i havent even started any of my gen ed courses, lol. for me its like all 3 sciences, math, and writing
Her: yea gotta get that stuff over with i guess
Her: hows ur scedule look for next semester
Me: not that bad, i got fridays and mondays off :-D
Her: thats awesome!
Me: har har, i know
Her: 4 day weekends....can't beat that
Me: lol, i couldnt believe i was able to pull that off myslef
Me: myself*
Her: thats going to be great
Her: mines 5 days
Me: 5 day weekend?
Her: no 5 day week...haha
Me: ooo
Me: i was gonna be like
Me: =-O that totally owns my schedule
Me: lol
Her: yea no way
Her: not even close
Me: lol
Me: =P
Me: what classes u got for next semester?
Her: 2 psych, orgo, physics, and stat
Me: nice
Me: organic should be something to look forward to =/
Me: some people tell me its not that bad and others tell me its a nightmare
Me: lol
Her: yea i know i hear that too, but i think i got a good prof so it should be okay i hope
Her: and sofia is taking it withme
Her: so she canhelp
Me: nice!
Me: how's sofia doin?
Her: she doign really good
Her: moving right along, doing research stuff over the summer
Her: keepign busy
Me: sweet, same here
Me: i also got some research stuff for the summer
Her: oh yea
Her: thats really good
Me: yeahh, doin it mainly for lab experience
Me: dunno if i get paid over the summer
Her: yea some are and some aren't i think
Her: but either way it looks good
Me: yep, doin it mainly for the experience but the commute should be oh so fun
Me: lol
Her: well if the apartment thing worked out that would be good
Me: yeah, i hope so
Me: all the apartments that are close to campus were full so finding someone who has one and is staying over the summer was gonna be hard. luckly my friend in bio told me he could try and get me into his friends
Her: yea that would be great, make sure to work on that
Her: hey i gtg actually, but nice catching up
Me: yep yep
Her: good luck on ur finals too
Me: thanks! u too =)
Me: ill cya over the summer sometime?
Her: yeah, its going to be nice everyone comes home for the summer again, so we can all catch up
Me: yeah, sounds like a plan, this summer should be awesome
Her: yea hopefully, okay well have a good night, byebye
Me: cya

Like I said, didn't really get far. My plan was to eventually ask her what the first message my suitemate sent her said and go from there somehow but it just never came up. I was also kinda hoping when I asked her if I'll see her again this summer it would be just us but she expanded that to everyone. =/ Tomorrow I'm hoping that once I'm back in my dorm, I can talk to her after the show "Grey's Anatomy" (kickass show) is on since we both like it alot. What do you guys think?

[Yukimura]

Read this whole thread out of boredom and intrest in interpersonal relationships, I've stopped bothering with pretty much everything this semester and girls werer never that high on my list of things i'd put effort into anyway, I have enough trouble going to the store to feed myself. However I love to observe others and thus I feel my advice to NM isn't completely worth disregaurding.

From the convo it seems she think of you as a friend, which is good, though just a friend. I believe I had that same conversation with a female friend of mine this time my freshman year. Try and spend some time with her over the summer and see what happens, just remember that summer relationships rarely last.

I've heard there are ways to shape situations like yours into more, reguardless of the girls initial level of interest. However they depend upon the girl's self-image and the guy's ability to be something he might not truly be. Anyway I don't believe that such methods usualy result in real relationships, just fancy brain washing. If the girls not into you, she's not into you, and you shouldn't be with a girl who doesn't like you for you as you are.

A question for the thread: Should guys play the games women start, or should we move on and find a girl who shoots strraight. I've seen both methods succeed and both fail but i'm not sure if anything was a relatively special circumstance.

[masamuneehs]

*reads that long ass conversation of which only 1/10th is pertinent to the discussion here*

Didn't I say to shoot the shit BEFORE bringing it up? That's why your conversation got derailed, cuz there was all the 'how's school doin?' crap still left to talk about.

In fishing one thing you do when your line is in the water is jiggle it around, reeling it in slowly to make the fish go after it. Basically that action is the 'shooting the shit', getting the formalities of
'hi Mr. Fish I'm a nice juicy worm'
'oh hello Mr. Worm, my you look good but may you be just a fisherman's trap?'
'Not at all my friend! Watch I move just like all live worms in water'
(fisherman jerks the rod -wow that sounds nasty- and makes the worm move)
'See! I'm perfectly healthy!'
'Well, you do look juicy so...'

And the second the fish bites on the hook you do not jiggle the worm around, you don't shoot the shit, you reel that sucker in to where you want it to be, squirming and flopping around like a virgin on a footballer player's prom night on the floor of your boat.

When you start to get to the point, GET THERE! Make sure there's no ways the conversation can deviate.

Oh, and you already did it so I suppose it can't be helped, but you should have just told her the actual circumstances of it happening (leaving out the 'oh we're going to check out the girl you like on Facebook' line). You're not sure if your friend messaged her back with info to the contrary ("Yeah he was sorta pissed") and then some time later you tell her "Oh I just found out" and shit doesn't add up.

As for future prospects:
You should totally keep pursuit, especially hanging out with her over the summer.
You should definitely hang out with her and do/talk about stuff you both have in common. TV shows are a good start but also try music, movies, RL issues, fun times in the past, and of course, the social lubricant and liquid courage of our lives: booze!
You ever think she might Google your screenname? Cuz it would lead her right to your forum accounts you know.
It does seem like you're just friends now, but since she seems to be looking forward to seeing you over the summer that might mean there's potential for more.

As for Yukimura's question:
Depends on your mood, on the girl (if she's worth it), and on the kind of game. Lots of girls play games as a kind of 'proving ground' test to see if a guy might be right. I'll admit, I like winning those games, so long as I don't have to jump through hoops. There's a difference between a game being challenging and fun and a game being a pain-in-the-ass and not.

I shoot straight when I think I have a clear shot. Alot depends on the girl.

[NM]

As for future prospects:
You should totally keep pursuit, especially hanging out with her over the summer.
You should definitely hang out with her and do/talk about stuff you both have in common. TV shows are a good start but also try music, movies, RL issues, fun times in the past, and of course, the social lubricant and liquid courage of our lives: booze!
You ever think she might Google your screenname? Cuz it would lead her right to your forum accounts you know.
It does seem like you're just friends now, but since she seems to be looking forward to seeing you over the summer that might mean there's potential for more.

I'll definetly try and hang out with her over the summer. Hopefully SOMETHING will happen. I think drunk stories is another good topic to talk about although she doesn't drink at all. But I've got alot of funny stories so maybe that will help. By the way, you really think she would Google my screenname? I just removed my screenname from my profile to be safe but...I don't think anyone would really put someones screenname into Google to see what pops up. But then again, I guess you never know. I'll keep you guys posted if anything new happens.

[darkshadow]

Masa is right, all you did was talk about school, it seems you let yourself get led by her, instead of leading her, next time, get a grip on the convo, and hold it.
dont keep going to long on another subject, or she might have to "gtg" again before you get the chance to say/ask what you wanted to

[dragonrage]

Lol, I really enjoy some of Masamuneehs metaphors, they are very entertaining. As the others have said you basically talked about school and nothing else. If you really want to get this girl you have to strike up a more personal convo. that way she will know that you are interested and well think of it as recon work. So that you will know exactly what you are getting yourself into, and exactly what she likes and dislikes.

[rockmanj]

Well, this is kinda strange, but i met some chick on vacation that wans me o like visit and keep in touch or whatever, but i dont really feel comfortable with the whole thing, plus i dont even know how to call he chick. I dont know if i should smash it one more time before i leave or explain the apprehension...then smash one more time...decisions, decisions...

[el_boss]

I don't really think she is out to get you in to a relationship. She's on vacation and she wants to have some fun. The reason she said that stuff to you is so that she doesn't need to feel bad for being a "slut". She can blame you and say "I told him I wanted see him again blablabla", "it just happened" and so on. With the social pressure put on women in this day and age, you can't really blame her for acting this way.

So even if you decide to lie to her and say that you will keep in touch or go ahead and tell her the truth that you just want to "smash one more time" it will have the same result. She is just using you for sex.

[rockmanj]

shes not on vacation, though. she lives here and stuff, but i mean, its been screwfest 84 here. Whatever ill keep in touch when i happen to come back here. always good to have a backup plan. P.S. What? u thought i wasnt usin her for the same?

[el_boss]

Ok, it's pretty much the same if it's only you that's on vacation. You will be gone and can't tell anyone.

It was pretty obvious what you wanted out of the interaction. I just said even if you are honest about your intentions, she will still probably have sex with you.

[rockmanj]

yea..actually shes sendin emails now, and wants me to stop by before i leave now. I was like, i dont know yet...maybe. I mean, it might be good to errr...get some mer exercise before i board the plane back to korea.

[Terracosmo]

Me: hey! did u happen to get a message from one of my suitemates named will?
Her: hey...haha yes i did
Her: i wrote him back and told him to say hi to u
Her: lol, yeah, he just told me
Me: he's like, "yo dan, i totally just got a message back from that girl. she said hi and good luck to u"
Me: so im like "what" and he says he sent u a message
Me: lol

I like how you start talking like a retard when you chat with a girl online.

"I totally just got a message" XD
That's weird since you normally write so good.
I guess it's part of the american teenage (and early 20ies) culture...

[rockmanj]

I like how you start talking like a retard when you chat with a girl online.

"I totally just got a message" XD
That's weird since you normally write so good.
I guess it's part of the american teenage (and early 20ies) culture...

ahh, so european men are much more jaded, and therefore aren't reduced to babbling idiots around women at times? (im not sayin i do, cuz i dont, but you know...).

[rockmanj]

^bump ...

Geez, im suprised masa isnt keeping this thread going...guess ill give it a shot, then.

So, me being the colossal drunken idiot i am scheduled myself a date this upcoming saturday. But i mean, if im posting about it it cant be just that simple, right? Right. My friend had told me about this huge party this upcoming saturday afternoon, and that said party would have unlimited amounts of alcohol available from 4pm onwards (sounds like a challenge, not an advertisement). Anyway i had met a girl last week, while like, shitfaced drunk, and i talked to her because i noticed she was also shitfaced drunk...and unfortuantely i cannot remember what she looks like for the life of me (im guessing she is cute), but i had been talking to her this week. And somehow i had let it slip that i was going to that party with my friends, and that it was in the proximity of where she would be. So she kind of invited herself along ( :-\ ).
And now i hear there are supposed to be a lot of hot chicks at this party...along with free booze. So i told the girl to come at a much later time than i was going, so problem psuedo-solved. However, there is another situation brewing...Theres another girl that i met that is friends with a girl my friend has been talking to, and she kinda wants to get to know me, it think. And my friend has invited her, along with her friend to the party, much to my chagrin. And then there's the risk of the other girl ive been talking to showing up. So, i wonder how this will play out...

[el_boss]

I can't see what the problem is. If you're not interested in the girls, just tell them. It's not like you have made a commitment to any of them.

[darkshadow]

make sure you meet up with that girl, without the other ones around, tell your friends you are going to get a drink or something at the time she will come, then wait till she comes to you, and tell her to fuck off :P, then go back to the other girl

[PSJ]

I agree with el_boss on this one i mean how hard can it be? Dissing girls aren't anything to hard, just tell her that you aren't interested. But try to keep all the options avaible for as long as possible, it should give you plenty of oppurtunities.

NM: one thing i would think is very important, try to keep the drunk stories to a minimum especially since she is not drinking, it has the risk of coming out as pretty shallow. If you got nothing better to talk about than drunk stories she could get very uninterested. If you know what she is interested in try to talk about that, as long as you keep the konversation going it will turn out positive.

[rockmanj]

Actually, i kinda dug my self out the hole, i mean im not trying to be bogus to girls i just met...yet, anyway. But I told one i woul dmeet up with her on sunday, and i made my friend uninvite the other girl, So now I should be cool...unless i get sloshed, then either hilarity will ensue, or nothing good will come of it. But I mean, this girl is kind of a heavy drinker too ( the main reason I talked to her was because i noticed she was drunk in a corner, arent i just the nicest guy??). So maybe things will work out in my favor after all

[PSJ]

Talking to a really drunk girl can have other reasons than being nice

Sounds like you solved the problem, go get them man and happy hunting.

[complich8]

Don't feed the trolls, people. Now back to your regularly scheduled emotions.