The Eidolon Project

[Vegechan]

It has been a long time before I posted here, in fact, some of you may not even remember me. I rarely posted, but made some contributions to the Cosplay thread in the Naruto Anime section. I made a post here, and post there, but most of my posts were there. However, I have a project idea that I would like to propose to you and see how you like it. You'll pretty much be in the target audience being anime fans, and this whole thing will be very influenced by many anime.

Awhile ago I had the sudden idea for an animated series. It was just the result of my imagination being active that day, and was day dreaming in a way. So, I decided, you know what? Why not give it a shot. So I got a free trial of Flash, and looked through a lot of Flash tutorials. I was following what they were saying simply enough, until I suddenly remembered something.

I suck at art.

So, I stopped actively persuing the project's completion. However, I had an idea the other day that might make it work. What if I wrote and directed the series much like how actual animated movies and series are done?

This is what my plan is. I already did some querying into the flash commmunity, and as long as I present myself properly and prove that what they will be a part of won't just be a waste of time, this may be possible. In the next month or so I will be writing out my story. I'll try to determine episode structure, and just how many episodes will be scheduled. I'll then write summaries of the actual episodes which will give me a rough estimate of the length of each installment. After I am completed with that, I will actually begin with the script starting with episode 1.

Once I feel I have enough completeled (at the earliest this would be all of the episode summaries completely and at least 3/4th of the scripts done) I will begin to actively seek help from flash animators, and who would like to join what I'll call "Eidolon Studios." If they are interested I'll require them to submit their works so I can see what I'll be getting out of them.

Best case scenario, I hope to find 9-12 good artists who are willing to be animators in the series. I plan on having back ups, in case some of the animators are unable to continue, so the series can continue if we run into complications. Right now, I'm aiming for each episode to be roughly 15-20 minutes. I'll assign each animator to 5 minutes of each episode. I will provide the script and concept art in which they base their animations on. I must mention, that before we even begin animating, they will have the story in full, so they know where the series is going and what to expect down the line.

By suppyling them with concept art, and a script to follow, it will ensure the content of all the different animators remains constant, however, I do expect the art styles to vary. This is no problem, as I will try to bring in the more serious styles and not the more less realistic ones. But, even then, I feel the styles will vary enough to give the series it's own unique touch. Sort of like how FLCL often changed their animation style. However, the change in animation won't be as random as sporadic @.@

By getting 9-12 animators, we can possibly complete 3 episodes at the same time. Once I see how long it takes all the animators to complete their roughly 5 minute scene, I will then set up a release schedule and we will try to meet that dead line.

So now that I have how I will direct the series, what will it be about?

The title is Eidolon Frame. It will be set in the year 2010. The protagonist is Sol, a 19 year old who is trying to find his place in life. After high school, he wasn't sure what he wanted to do with himself. So, he took a year off of education, to sort things out and figure out what he wants to do. During which, he goes through several jobs until he lands a job at a private contractor whose name I have not yet established. I have yet to decide as to what exactly the company will do, but I imagine Sol would be in a Call Center department concerning the company.

The first episode will be narrated by Sol. The episode will follow his daily routine as he goes to work. At work he'll introduce a few characters, but out of them, the most important are is his love interest Luna, and his rival, Lee.

Luna, Sol, and Lee have known each other since High School. Luna is close friends with Sol, but isn't even considered a friend to Lee. Lee and Luna have both been in a special training course for the past 6 months, and today are finally being transferred to their new poistions.

The day continues as normal, until the wall in Sol's department explodes. No fire is involved though, it was almost as if something with great force rammed it's way through the wall. Panic ensues with all the call center agents. Sol then notices what caused the explosion, a giant creature (it is learned later on that these creatures are known as "Geists") After a few seconds, Sol realizes that no one else sees it. Knowing this, Sol tries to save one of his co workers who was about to get killed from the creature's large fist. Sol manages to push the co-worker out of the way, only to have the creature punch right through the ground underneath Sol, and he falls through the newly formed hole.

When Sol comes to (he will be knocked out for a minute or two) he awakes in a dark cold room, unsure of where he fell to. As far as he knew, he was on the ground floor. He looks up to see light coming in from the hole in the cieling, which was pretty far up. It's a mircale he survived the fall. But then, lights begin to turn on in the room, and Sol begins to notice how large the room is. Once all the lights are on, he realizes he's in a hangar, but for what?

He then notices in front of him, behind a glass door, a exo-suit with the words EF-001 Alpha Unit labeled on top of the container. When Sol moves in closer to exaime the suit, his hand touches the wall, just where a touch panel is located. The door opens, and the suit revolves around so it's back is facing Sol. The back of the suit then opens, allowing him to enter the suit. You then hear the echoing roar of the Geist through the hole.

Sol quickly decides that because he's the only one that can see the creature, he's the only one that can do something about it. And even though he has no idea just what the suit is, or what it does, his chances are better using it, than without it. So, he enters the suit, it closes around him, and he is then shot through a shaft right onto ground level with the creature.

At first Sol just tries to save the people around him, but during which he realizes that the suit increases his speed, mobility and reflexes by unthinkable amounts. It was almost as if moving his arm wasn't what made the suit move, but more like the suit was moving along with him. He then finds out how much his strength is enchanced, and that the suit is equipped with boosters on the feet, back of the legs, back, and shoulders for even more mobility and speed. So he then begins to attack the creature.

Even with Sol's enhanced strength and speed, it seems as if melee attacks alone wouldn't be enough to defeat the Geist. Now, either this will mark the end of the first half o the episode, or end the first episode completely, it all depends on how long it takes to tell this side of the story, but Sol will receive a transmission stating something along the lines of "Current Runner* of Eidolon Frame Unit Alpha, please state your name and reason for taking the suit." Sol instantly recognizes the voice as Luna's.

*Runner is the term used for "pilots" of the Frames. Eidolon Frame is the name give to the suit.

[darkmetal505]

Interesting. I'm not a good flash artist, but I'll keep track of this.

[Vegechan]

So, the next scene will begin setting things back a little bit, at the beginning of the day, but showing Luna's start, and she will be narrating.

Through her narration, you learn for the past 6 months she's played a major part in a top secret project, entitled, The Eidolon Project. Her father, who is now dead, was the one who had the idea, who got funding from a long time friend, who is now the director of operations.

The role Luna specifically plays, is she is what they call a Coordinator. She monitors vital signs of the runner, operational systems of the suit, and can even visually monitor the situation with a free roam camera that detaches from the back of the suit. Her interface is an interactive holographic screen that projects from four devices that can hover in place that disburses from her watch, allowing her to "coordinate" at any location at any time. The runner of the frame is none other than Lee.

Today is supposed to be a big day. All her training for the past 6 months will pay off because today is the offical demonstration in front of government officials.

While getting ready in a prep room for the demonstration, the Geist attacks. Lee, of course rushes to the hanger where the frame is being kept. However, when he gets there he finds the suit missing. Luna activates her interactive display, and opens a channel with the frame runner demanding who he is, only to learn it's Sol.

Sol and Luna begin arguing, about what he's doing in the suit and how he needs to get out. During which, Sol is still fighting the Geist, and the director notices something odd. He asks Luna if his spectral filter is active, and Luna is surprised to find it isn't. Until this point, no human has ever been able to see a Geist without the aid of a spectral filter. The director then asks what his sych rating is. Luna is again, surprised to see it's 100.

Lee begins to protest, demanding Sol gets out of the suit and for him to take over. The director states that such an act would be impossible, to make a runner swap in the middle of a battle where other's lives are on the line. He also mentions how Lee's synch rating was at highest 65, and average 40. The director begins to leave the room asking for the results of the battle. Luna is surprised he doesn't want to say and watch, but he seems sure Sol will overcome. Right before he leaves the room, he tells Luna to mention the weapon equipped on the frame.

Luna starts explaining to Sol how the suit is actually mentally linked to him, and the suit's OS is translating his thoughts into movements. She then mentions an energy weapon stores in his right arm. Sol merely looks at his arm, to have an energy weapon suddenly fold out of his arm, as it it was stored away in a compartment.

After a bit more of fighting, and a few tips from Luna, Sol manages to defeat the Geist with the energy weapon. You won't learn this until a later episode, but Sol actually shot the Geist in a weak spot, and when it's destroyed it almost seems as if it's destroyed from the inside out.

The episode will end with Luna giving a huge sigh of relief, stating how he defeated it. Sol then looks at the destroyed call center, and mentions how he just wishes he was able to defeat it sooner, and begins to help injured out of the building, asking Luna to contact an ambulance.

And that's the first (or first two) episode. The next episode will basically be Lee trying to fight off a Geist of his own, only to fail and have Sol take over, and end up taking his place permanently as the runner of Alpha unit. Later on, a total of 4 additional Frames and runners will be introduced. Buster, who will be your typical large, powerful, but slow type, Rose, the only female runner who uses two engery whips, Striker, who excels at close combat, and Zero, who is the prototype suit and runner who has the highest combat capability and skill. He also will never been seen out of his suit, you'll never learn his real name (Buster, Rose, and Sticker are just code names for the frames, and you learn the runner's real name), and he will be the only runner without a coordinator.

To better describte what the suits look like, they aren't big like mobile suits. Think, more like suits that fit around the runner, like body armor (of course, much more thicker and more technological) I can't think of a design that is exactly what I'm looking for, but think Guyver, Mjolnir armor, and the suits from Bubblegum Crisis rather than Gundams or Mechs.

I have many twists lined up, one of which being a dark secret concerning the Eidolon Project itself.

So... what do you think? I'll talk more about the series if you want, just let me know how much you want to know, because you may want to watch the series (if it happens) and find out that way rather than have me spoil it now, lol. As you can tell, the series is heavily influenced by various anime, but for the most part I hope it comes off as being original. So, critize away ^.^

[Vegechan]

I thank anyone who has already voted. However, I'd really want feedback as to why you might not like the story, or why it might not work. If you didn't like the story, was it just not your cup of tea? Do you feel it lacks in certain aspects? What about it don't you like? If you think the directing idea won't work, how come? Do you think communication would be difficult over online outlets? Do you think people will just stop doing their share?

I do plan on doing this, but would like to know what you think in a bit more detail, if it doesn't bother you. If I know where I might go wrong, I can plan for it and think of alternatives. While I'm trying to think of how things may fall apart on my own, no one is perfect, and someone else might spot a hole in plot or development ideas. Don't worry about being harsh, I'm very open to criticism as it helps me understand where I went wrong and what I can do to fix it.

Again, I really want to make this work and get it out there. So, if it isn't too much trouble, could you go into why you voted as you did, and if you haven't yet, give a few statements if you do?

[Zinobi]

heh sweet its got some concepts that i recognize looks like its definately promising
and what are you gonna do about voices?

[Vegechan]

Various things. Within the Flash community there is a particular "Voice Acting Club" where various people interested in VAing (and in many cases have in various flash animations) gather together and you can go there asking for help. I also have numerous friends of my own that will fit some characters well. If any of the animators wish to donate their voices as well, I'll see if I can give them a role or two.

[woofcat]

Good VA is my only concern. That and well pulling it off. I hope it does take off but with the anime community that hates dubbing, well not hate but i dislike it. I think that the real challange will be fiting VA's

[Augury]

If people aren't willing to reply, then some feedback is better than nothing right?

I voted for "Don't care much for the story, but the directing idea you had may work. I wish you luck, and if I could rephrase it, I'd say something similar with "I wouldn't care much for the story and wonder if you could pull off the organization, but if you did then I'd at least check out the first few episodes."

Before I continue and critique your story, I should note that I get the feeling that my opinions tend to fall into the minority of what's considered good or bad here at gotwoot.

I thought your characters and story was boring and cliched, despite your efforts. It felt like you were taking a whole bunch of ideas that have been done and putting them together. Your protagonist has no clear path in his life, and your story of this project is going to define one for him. He has a love interest and rival, who happens to be the coordinator of this project he's stumbled across. You have the wise director who understands everything is under control when others aren't calm. The story reminds me a lot of Evangelion and Stellvia, and I haven't even seen much of Evangelion. It may be just me, but your description of the plot makes it easy to think that it'll be much like other warrior-in-suit type animations which I'm not much of a fan of.

About what is happening in the first (few) episodes: The introduction of the characters and the hook pulling Sol into these events seem adequate enough, and you're establishing the type of story you want with the action, drama, and romantic aspects which is good.

To your organization idea: I have no experience in production, nor am I an artist or flash animator. However, I don't see or understand the incentive or reason that people would want to do this. Is it just to produce something cool? Are you trying to find people who want to help create this? Why produce it? Are animators going to do this as a hobby or free-time thing?

[Apraxhren]

Well the story needs some work. As you said you borrowed ideas from other stories but they are presented in a crude manner. First of all you have to establish a few things before beginning writing. What is the purpose of the show? Who is the audience? What do you want the audience to take from the show? (This is a subset of the purpose of the show).

You also want to have an outline, which it seems you do even if it isn't written, this should include the four basic parts of the plot; Intro, conflict, climax, and resolution. Also on a micro scale each episode should have include the parts as well where applicable. The conflict is probably going to be the substance of the story; you'll want to have multiple types of conflict, man v. man, man v. nature, man v. self etc. There should be sub conflict as well as sub climaxes and sub resolutions. You should also have a point of view, objective, first, third, omniscient. Again you will want to have variety, you will probably be spending the most part in an objective point of view with brief moments of first and narrative. From the little part of the story you have made available you have some of these elements but the depth doesn't seem to be there.

The characters are an important part of the plot; you want to create a connection with the audience. Your main character achieves this by being "average" and one day find special powers, which isn't a bad thing, but it is used a lot. You also don't want to pigeon hole your characters into stereotypes, a character should exhibit stereotypes but he shouldn't be a stereotype. You will want to play with the audience through the characters, make them hate/love the character either by what they do or how they are. I don't mean make the character obnoxious like Relena in Gundam Wing, and only repeating the same thing 50 times an episode. A good example would be Ed from Full Metal Alchemist, you have times when he does thing the audience hates and makes the audience yearn for the conflict to end in the perfect fairy tale way. The characters should have a goal and personality to create the connection.

You are probably still wondering what specifically I didn't like about the story. First of all, the characters, the names are in my opinion too bland, the matching names aren’t a good trait. Also the characters seem to be one dimensional, this may change as you only told the basics of the plot but that is my impression. You could consider removing Lee and combining Luna and Lee, obviously this would screw up a lot of what you have written but I'm just throwing out ideas. If for instance you have Luna being the intended pilot of the Alpha mech with Sol taking her spot you will create two conflicts, man v. man (Sol v. Luna) and man v. self (Sol v. self). I suggest this as the coordinators seems more as an informative sub character and from just what you wrote Lee disappeared. Next, you could also change the whole Sol magically pilots it perfectly; this is an area that is over used in my opinion. I don't have a suggestion on how to change this right now as you want the fantasy part of it where the audience can have the 'winning the lottery dream', and having the character struggle right off the start would eliminate that.

Writing a good story isn't all that easy, there are lots of thing I have probably forgotten or just don't know. However, if you want to create a good story you will have to put some time into it, and change it a lot. Have a friend or family member read over it and give you feedback and continue from there. You made a good start, but revision is always a good thing.

[Vegechan]

Thanks for the great input guys, It's really helpful. However, I'd like to go into more about the series to show where I'm going with this, which may make seemingly stereotypical cookie cutter things a bit less so. From what is only presented in the first episode, I can see how characters may seem one demensional, but the first episode really is to just grab at the viewer and suck them in, while a much larger story unfolds.

FIrst, spoliers aside, I want to mention something. When I mentioned that this is heavily influenced by many anime, I did not mean I took many ideas that I liked from various anime and blended it together. Instead, the fact that I've seen many anime, it has influenced my imagination. While some things may seem similar to other anime at first, for example some may make a connection betwen Geists and Hollows from Bleach, or the DIrector and Syncho rating to Evangelion, I assure you that's just face value and my intentions for them are much different than what they may seem to be.

Now, I will begin to explain in much detail certain aspects of the series that may make you understand where I'm going with this. I warn you, if you are actually interested in watching the series and seeing the story progress at a normal rate, do not read any of the following. I will clearly mark when Spoilers have ended.


**Begin Spoilers**


First, I'd like to acknowledge the connection between Sol and Luna. I understand that thier names are cliche, and that it is a large coinecdence that she just so happens to be the coordinator of the project Sol stumbles upon. I have a reasoning for this. By the end of the series, you should get the feeling that Sol's intervening may have been set up by some higher power, who was trying to stop a certain unnatural event from taking place (I will go more into what that is later.) No, I'm not saying "God willed it." But you should get the feeling that someone, or something, pushed Sol and Luna down this path. Not completely decided it for them, but nudged them along to make sure they were at the right place, at the right time.

Next order of business is Lee. Again, people may consider the fact that he's the rival cliche. But hear me out. Lee just wants to be the best and will constantly better himself until he is. The best, just so happens to be Sol. Lee will constantly drive himself harder and harder to surpass Sol. And in reality, who doesn't have a friend, or at least know of someone like this? Someone who constantly tries to improve him/herself? It's not a rare characteristic. Lee just happens to be that type of person. Also, I do not plan to write off Lee so early in the series. He may take a back seat for some time and disappear for a little bit, but he returns as the runner of the 4th frame, the Striker unit. Lee even mockingly thanks Sol in his first appearence as Striker for taking the Alpha unit, because he was then able to receive a frame that is more suited to his style.

Now, I very well know where I want the story to go. I plan to have the story in two main parts. I know exactly where the first part will end, and know how I would like the second part to begin. By the end of the first "season" I'll know just how possible my idea for the second part will be. I plan to have a small break between part 1 and 2, where the animators, VAs and I will be working on a full length flash feature that should range around the 1 hour and 30 minute mark. Now, I know. That would be a very long download for people, however I'd have it spilt into parts, for the people who don't have the speed to download it all at once, and have an option for one big seemless download for those with a faster connection. I'd also like to mention I plan on having my own website for this, considering most flash sites have limits on size. I plan on debuting on Newgrounds.com, but even then the first episode will be cutting it with size. However, the owner of NG has stated before (and I've seen it done) that sometimes due to special circumstances he will allow large flash animations. I think if we manage to pull this off, it may be one of the exceptions (although, I doubt they'd post the full movie.)

Anyways, this next point will be a very large spoiler, and will be a part of the turning point of the series. The Eidolon Project's true intention is not the protection of mankind from the Geists, but to force the evolution of the human being. From the start of the series, the runners and coordinators (and hopefully the viewer) will be under the impression that the energy from the suits is drawn from techological means, but in reality the power is being drawn from untaped engery within the human body itself.

Take Sol for example. At the story goes on, he will occasionally notice an increase in power, speed, and overall strength of the suit. The reason he is given is constant upgrades, tweaks, and maintenence are made on the suit. However, it is actually him realizing his own power more and more, allowing for the suit to gain access to more and more power. The synch rating helps show this. At first, the synch rating will only reach 100. This is to show that the suit and runner are perfectly synched, and that movements are instantly translated to the suit. Once that number reaches 101>, it is now about the suit being able to access more power from the runner and utlizing more abilites. An example is the fact that as Sol's rating gets higher and higher, the faster his suit becomes, very often he will be out of the human's visual perception. Eventually, Sol and the other runners will not even need the suits to manipulate engery and, in the near end, become ascended beings of almost pure engery.

Enter Zero, the fifth runner (technically first, as he was the prototype runner and frame, but fifth in order of appearance.) Zero's real name will never be said. His real face will never be seen. He will always be seen in his frame. His offensive and defensive capabilites are the highest out of all the frames. He has actual mental control of 6 orbitals. 3 for the purpose of attacking (they fire very fine potent energy beams. They seem to cut through anything with almost no resistance) and 3 for defense (the 3 defense orbitals rotate around each other, forming a triangular shield between them.) Zero, begins to find out the truth behind the Eidolon Project, as he starts to realize his engery manipulation is not of technological means. He also knows that the director has a hidden agenda, and tries to uncover the truth. The director's true intention is indeed to force the evolution of a human being, but only for himself so he can become a false god to Earth. He intends to be the only ascended being in the end. Knowing that Zero is close to reaching the point of full understanding, he puts a series of events into motion that sets up Zero as a villian (Sol, Buster, Rose, Striker, and the viewer will all see Zero as a horrendous power that has gone rouge and needs to be stopped.)

[Vegechan]

The last couple of episodes of the first season will have Buster, Rose, and Striker approach Zero after he's been labeled an enemy and needs to be killed before he harms anymore innocents (you learn later on that Zero was sent to a city that was currently under attack by the strongest classification of a Geist. By the time Zero gets there, the Geist has destroyed most of the town, and almost all of it's population. Zero manages to dispose of the Geist only moments before Buster, Rose and Stiker arrive. They only see the destruction and Zero in it's wake. They assume, based on what they were told, Zero was responsible. Zero then sees what the director's plan was, and figures trying to explain himself would be out of the question, so instead decides the best way is to subdue teh 3 runners.) The first season will not show Buster, Rose and Striker fighting Zero. Instead it will follow Sol, who was dispatched to take care of a Geist when Buster, Rose and Striker were dispatched to take care of Zero, arriving some time after Zero defeats them. All Sol will see is Zero, in a city almost completely destroyed, with very little survivors, and Buster, Rose, and Stiker unconcious. Sol then begins his assault on Zero. After what I hope to be a great action squence, Sol would have destroyed all 6 orbitals. The first season will end with Sol telling Zero that he has no way of attacking or defending himself, and that his orders are to kill him. However, he'll give him a chance to come quietly. Zero will then chuckle, and say something along the lines "I wonder... what will it take for you to open your eyes?" The credits will then roll, and that will make the end of season 1.

If all goes well, the second season will start will a movie, as I explained earlier. The movie will start right into the action, showing the fight between Zero, Buster, Rose, and Stiker. At one point, BRS (how I refer to Buster, Rose, and Striker from here on out) will destroy all of Zero's orbitals with an amazing show of team work. Before BRS make the final move, Zero will mention something along the lines of how sad loyal dogs are and how blind they really are. Now, up until now, Zero has only attacked with his orbitals, and always stood straight up, arms crossed. Now, however, he will be much more active and will use all of BRS's attacks. The engergy will seem to originate out of his suit, and not from it, which should confuse the viewers, as it does with BRS. Eventually, Zero will defeat BRS with ease, with an amazing display of his powers. The scene will show BRS laying on the ground defeated, and as the camera pans up it will show Sol and Zero as we left them at the end of Season 1. Zero will then use the full extent of his powers, even more so than when he did against BRS to defeat Sol, but in the end, Sol will prevail using some quick thinking and strategy. However, the final move Sol makes against Zero will be a mortal wound, killing Zero. Before Zero dies, he tells Sol to come closer to him. The scene will fade out, as he says "I have something to tell you."

The rest of the movie will be about the after math of the fight. Sol and Luna's attitude will be very different, as they now know something the rest of the runners don't. The movie will end as the highest classification of Geist attacks, yet again, but this time at the hospital they are being housed at. Sol will confront the Geist, with Luna telling him it's suicide, that his frame is too badly damanged from the fight with Zero, and it may cause catosphroic damage if it gets destroyed. Sol will then say something that he can see clearly now, and destroy the Geist without the use of his suit.

Now, I would like to go into more detail about the director. About 10 years before the series begins, Luna's father would have created the first spetral filter, and would have seen a Geist for the first time. He then devotes the next 5 years studying these creatures, and begins work on Eidolon Frame Unit Zero, as a precautionary measure against these "demons." The director would be his assistant in his studies. During the 5 years, the director would find out how the Eidolon Frame works, and begins to understand that it may be able to bring about the latent powers in a human being. He then begins to have his delusions of grandier of becoming a god. He kills Luna's father and begins taking the research into his own hands. He sets up the 5 runners to be guinea pigs in his experiments to test the frames, and how to force the latent engery deep inside him out. He, of course, guises the project as a defense force agains the Geists. It should be noted, that the Geists were not the ones who struck first, but Zero in testing phases, being told that they were ruthless monsters.

Now, to explain what Geists really are. Geists are actually beings from another demension that exists on the same plane as ours. While two seperate realms, they co-exist. While we can not see Geists normally, Geists can see us, and until recently, were not able to interact directly with out material. Geists actually feed on the latent engery of humans, and grow their strength from that. However, until recently, they only fed off the engery that was lightly being emited from humans. Once Zero began killing Geists, more of them began to be attracted to the power he was broadcasting. Geists started to become more violent in their feeding ways, and began to actively seek out more food. The Geist who attacks in the beginning of the series was actually attracted to the testing Luna and Lee were doing with the Frame. The more energy the Geists consume, the stornger they get. And they begin to hunger for more and more. Also, as a note, the more engery they consume, the more they begin to phase into our realm. So, the stronger Geists will actually be visible to us and be able to interact with out objects. The reason Sol was able to see the first Geist without a spectral filter is because Sol was natrually further down the evolutionary line than the others. No, he would not have ascended without the help of the frame, but his descendants may have been some of the first.

At first the Geists appear to be working by themselves, just looking for more food to satisfy their growing hunger. But, as the series progresses, they beging to become more organized, and almost working as one to accomplish a certain goal. I've already spolied a lot, so I'm leaving out what that goal really is.




**End of current spoilers**

So, that certainly was a lot. I'd like to hear what people now think after this has been revealed. Maybe those who arleady posted, do you see more clearly where I'm headed, and do some of the ideas that at first seem cliche begin to click more? I plan for the series to work much in the same way Bleach did. At first, it was your typical shounnen manga/anime, until the SS arc, and then became completely awesome. I hope for a similar transition. That at first the series will seem medocre, but then when more becomes revealed, even earlier cliched things become part of a bigger picture, and things just fit together. Although, I'm also sure some people will not like the turning point, and instead would have perferred a flat out mech suit story. However, this is the direction I want to take the series in.

I'm interested to see what reactions you have now after this information. Thank you in advance.

[Apraxhren]

Well the story is much better than what we were led to believe from the first description. This would be a concern as you don't want to lose the viewer on the first episode. Take Eureka 7 for example, it starts out kind of slow and a lot of people got turned off, they thought it was just another mech show. You could possible use foreshadowing to divulge a bit of the plot that would grab people’s attention but they wouldn't know what was going on so they want to keep watching.

The characters still seem a bit simple, but it's hard to tell from summaries as much of the personality comes from dialogue. I agree that there are people like Lee that try to be the best at everything. However, what I was trying to get at is there is more to them than just that. Give him a background, some motivation. Why does he want that? Even if you don't plan on telling the backgrounds of the characters you should still have a firm idea as to build the personality off of. Is Lee like that because he is greedy? Is he trying to impress someone? Does he just not want to fail, having experienced/witness failure before? See what I am getting at? Complex characters have reasons behind their motives and emotions behind their reasons. You will have to paint the personalities by the way they interact, talk, and look. You may have this already plan out as well but I just want you to prepare, don't rush it. It sounds like you have given this a lot of thought so it doesn't sound like you rushed at all.

[Vegechan]

Well, I'd like to discuss Lee if you don't mind and get your opinion on some ideas I had for him.

I knew from the beginning I needed a driving force for him to be the way he is. My original idea was that the director was going to be his father, who never saw him as quite good enough and has done nothing but ridicule him. Instead of being discouraged by this, he continully tries to improve himself to be accepting of his father. However, I thought this may seem cliche, and when I propose the idea to my closest friends at first, they even mentioned that. And again, at first glance it may seem cliche, but I had an idea as to where I was going with this.

This would set up various things. First of all, the viewer would actually feel sorry for him, and not hate him for being a rival to the protagonist. It would also, of course, explain why he is so self improving and competitive. But, most importantly, *Spoilers ahead* it will make it easy for him to be used as a pawn under the director in the second act. It's no surprise that Sol will defect once he learns the full truth, as Zero did before him, and he will be faced against Buster, Rose and Striker. I thought having Striker constantly trying to gain the approval of his father, the director, would make it easy for the director to manipulate him. If I do decide to go this route, I may have Striker killed in act 2, remaining blind and loyal to his father. Again, I plan for the viewer to like him, and think he may be a good character to kill off. End Spoilers

However, as I said, it seems too cliche at first and may not drag the people. So I'm now toying with two other scenarios. Both involve a fiance/serious girlfriend. First scenario is that coming home from a date they were mugged, and Lee tries to fit off the criminal, only to be stabbed in the leg. The ciminal, who has appeared very nervous at this whole exchange, you can tell this is his first mugging, pulls out a gun and points it at Lee, unable to hold it straight. The criminal tries to tell them to just let him escape and he won't do anything harsh, but Lee's signifigant other reacts to him pulling out the gun, heisitates, then jumps in front of Lee screaming "NO!" The criminal jumps at her sudden movements and yelling, and pulls the trigger, shooting Lee's finance. She collapses on to Lee, dead (or slowly dieing) After this scenario, Lee blames himself for not being strong enough to subdue the rookie mugger, and begins to make himself stronger. He takes up martial arts, and various other activities.

The other scenario is a shorter one. Lee and his fiance are going on a vacation, and are rock climbing. One of the safety lines clips off and Lee has tries to catch his fiance. He manages to grab her, but after some time she slips through and falls. Lee then tries his hardest ot make himself stronger, becuase he feels if he was stronger he could have saved her.

They still seem cliche... and I like the first scenario (the father) more as it allows Lee to be easily manipulated. I could go further back into his past, say like his childhood, and have his mother or some sibling die because he was unable to protect them as well, it doesn't ahve to just be his significant other. Bottom line, I want to make it a traumatic expierence, making him mentally unstable. Even then he would be easy to manipulate by the director in the second act. I'm not looking to make a Sasuke, as Lee won't be as foreboding about things. He'll be usually upbeat, and serious when he needs to be, espically when he trains or is trying to protect his loved ones.

So, any suggestions or criticism on what I want to do with Lee?

[Vegechan]

Sorry to bump this, but I'm still looking to get this project rolling. Here's my topic at Newgrounds that I made awhile ago that explains a lot of what I'm planning: http://newgrounds.com/bbs/topic.php?id=533668

I'd like to hear more opinions from you guys, seeing how I'm trying to appeal to an anime crowd. Some good news is that my friend who I was originally going to get to do the conept art may end up being my art director, as he may be learning Flash over the course of the next few months.

Also, something I haven't mentioned over at Newgrounds, is the fact that I am possibly planning on making this into a DVD set. I don't know how much that would cost of course, but it's happened to succesful internet series, like Red vs Blue, or even Foamy @.@ So I know it's possible, and I'm leaving my series open for that possibility, which is why I don't want to have any liscensed material (mainly songs) in the series.

So, any more thoughts any of you would like to share?

[Zinobi]

Well i can't wait to see a pilot or first episode or whatever...
Please hurry

[Vegechan]

Thanks ^.^

It's going to take some time though, as I'll be moving in a couple weeks so I that time will be devoted to getting myself in, then a week or so after to settle in. After that, I'll be going overtime though.

Also, a friend helped me determine a name for the main frame. Impulse. I feel it suits it very well.

[Bucket]

I really suggest you take this project as a priority. I wouldn't let it fall behind if I were you. I've been trying to start off a similar project on my own, and I've found that once you put this thing on the backburner the first time, you'll be more inclined to do it again.

My project is still in planning phases (I've got characters and the story arc down, next comes ironing out plot inconsistencies, rounding out the cast, finishing concept art and actual screenplays). It's already dragging; I haven't even thought about it in a week. I wasn't even planning on getting a team together; I was going to do all the art myself and put in subtitles, like a silent movie.

Of course, that's not to say I'll lose interest completely one day-- no, this is just too important for me-- but with all these other things taking up my time I'm going to have to give up something else or else nothing will happen.

So if you plan on managing a team, you should put serious thought into whether you have the discipline to keep the wheels turning on your end.

...

So anyway, about your project: it sounds like there are a lot of anime conventions in it (pardon the pun). I think you should move away from that if you don't want your huge important project to become a case of "we've seen it before and done better".