The Ask Terra Thread

[Terracosmo]

Some more answers for you bitches before I embark on my glorious summer festivities,

Dear homophobe,

"whats with the purple title, we already know you are bi, there is no need to be a flaming homo . But it does make a statement. Heck its really hard to miss as well."

1. I'm not bisexual
2. Purple is manly!
3. I'm hard to miss as it is, the color just reflects that pretty good!

----------------

Dear fire who has defeated stalkerkiddo in stalkerness,

"My MPS just dropped below my HGS, and now the RWRR is going to get out of sync with the FLIR, and my BBN-equipped ADAT is going berserk. What do I do?"

You could begin with SWLAR (stop writing like a retard)

"If I kill someone in a No Littering zone, should I dump the body somewhere else to avoid a ticket?"

Corpses aren't litter. Would you call your grandgrandmother's corpse litter? What did she ever do to you?

"How come on TV when people drive, they're always turning the wheel left and right even though they're driving in a straight line? And why are there always little camera shakes to indicate rough roads, even with a hovercar like in I, Robot"

I, Robot lol
that movie sucked so much

As for the wheel, I don't know. Who cares. cars suck

"Sometimes I feel like crying but I just can't, what should I do?"

Watch Grave of the Fireflies. If that doesn't turn your tear channeling permanently on, I guess I could come over and slash your wrists open or something..

"Have I found the Admin's handbook here?"

An admin does not have a handbook. You cannot become an admin. YOU ARE BORN ONE!

"If a genie appeared and gave me 3 wishs.....would asking for more wishes destroy the genie?"

No, but you would hurt his feelings and the sacredness of the number "3". Are you man enough to hurt number 3?

"What would Jesus drive?"

A bicycle powered by cloudenergy
Clouds are the future
And so are bicycles
It's good for the environment too!

(this message brought to you by Jesus - "you know that guy who used to ride a donkey")

"God impregnated Mary with Jesus without asking and obviously without protection. Mary didn't know about it till God pointed it out. In a legal sense, doesn't that mean God knocked Mary up?"

Well duh

"Should I use common sence or listen only to you?"

I -am- common sense (look it up in a lexicon!)

"How much wood WOULD a woodchuck chuck if he could chuck wood? Assuming that the woodchuck has teeth and the motivation to go out and chuck some wood."

About as much chuck as a woodchuck with a chuckadillychuckchuck wood would woodydoodwood with chuck's girlfriend

"How many sheets of paper can one tree make?"

30.512

"Is it half full or half empty?"

Half empty! That way you will go "man it's already half empty I need more", so you'll always have a new glass ready when the first one runs out!

-----------

Dear female mexican poet,

"Something sweet oh something strong,
Since my love no longer can turn me on,
The girls in the suits and those girly boys,
I gave my life to rock 'n roll?"

Something hard oh something soft,
Since the tires no longer can turn me aloft,
The girls behind the wheel and those scared boys,
I gave my life to the driving insurance

----

Dear zabrusky,

"can you give 3 solutions to all of deadfire's questions?"

My questions are so multidimensional by default that the amount of different answers can be sought after for all eternity

/ Terra the partyhomo

[Nai]

Purple is actually an extremely regal color. It radiates both dignity and mystery.

Yes, I just had to come to the defense of purple as it's an excellent color which completely lacks a sexuality. Unlike pink, which is quite obviously raging gay. But, since I am in this thread I figure I may as well pose a question to the oracle in my quest to uncover my true nature, so here goes.

Why is it that I'm always attracted to villains and characters generally deemed "bad" or "evil" and completely lack emotions ( other than sheer hatred ) for typical protagonist which may or may not include the following; the shy girl who likes to stutter and has an extremely immature sense of humor ( OH MY, YOU SAID WANG! *BLUSH* ), the young aspiring boy warrior with a well-guarded secret which will always save his ass when things go bad, the elderly warrior who carries a terrible burden due to a random mistake made in the past and the female sex object who should be mute.

Is it because I'm a raging sociopath or simply because evil is hot whereas good is not?

[Bunny]

Please don't double post. I know you're new and all but please try to follow the rules, which you should of course have read by now.

Also, goddamn that's some annoying font to read... I'd advise you to change it to something else, but I think I'll just ask comp to limit the usable types of font...

masamuneehs

Dear Terra...

1. When is the end of the world where eternal damnation will spread throughout the world?
2. How come some people are ego-maniacs and narcissists?
3. What happedned to Anastasia when she got shot in the head
4. WHY I AM SO SEXY?

[Mr Squiggles]

Dear Terra,

Why do some people go out of their way to post in orange when it is not only hard to see but also an ugly color? (although some other types of orange can look nice)

What is the exact amount of water required for Ranma to be considered wet to change, and what is the exact temperature for when the water goes from being considered cold to hot?

If you suddenly woke up one morning with wings on your back, where would be the first place you would fly to?

If you had to choose between losing an arm or a leg, which would you choose?

What is the real cause of dinosaur's extinction?

Is drinking your own blood when you get a cut healthy?

Why is it that in our society, if you don't try to hump the first thing you see with 2 legs and a vagina you are automatically assumed to be gay?

If you were in a room with Tom Cruise, Oprah, and a Clown, and you had a gun with only one bullet, who would you shoot?

[DB_Hunter]

Dear Terrangatang,

Why do I have a stomach ache right now?

Why are some tissue box sizes classified as "Mansize" tissues?

Why has my question about one piece episodes not been answered yet in the Anime Downloads section of the forum?

When it is said about somebody that "he has guts", why is it taken to mean that the person is brave and not fat?

Why are things made in China yet packed in the EU? How do these items get sent from China to EU anyway?

Why do you continue to live in Sweden despite being unemployed?

[RedX1z]

dear yzak like person, yet not like him at all(i think..),

who are you?

who am i?

why do you exist?

why do i exist?

why does anything exist?

if there's only one guy in the whole world and noone is there to awknowledge him, does he still exist?

if copy x is just a copy, does that mean he never existed or he never should've existed?

why does all my questions have to do with existence?

-signed, redx1.

[rockmanj]

dear swede who is afraid of sharp things.

would it be better to pursue the hadou style of Goutetsu-ryu Ansatsuken, or the shoryu principle?? While at times i am flashy, i am aslo strong and deep like a river....

[dragonrage]

Dear Mr. Terra - rific

Is it true that you are not disease free?

If you are, please contact Assertnfailure. He seems to have proof that says otherwiise

Anyways, What are some high quality swedish liquor, that you would recommend?

What are the recommended doses, and what do they not mix well with?

Also, What is the best time to visit your country, that is if I am not shot on entry.

The Dumbass Homophobe.

[ChaosK]

Dear Terra,
How is Bunny's eye sight so fucked up that he sees himself as sexy, and seems to find orange easy to read?

Also, why do mexican's mow lawns in the first place.

Signed,
...screw this.

[Terracosmo]

Greetings again, loyal subjects. Excuse the wait for this batch of answers, but I've been drunk and tired.

---------

Dear Nai-sama,

"Why is it that I'm always attracted to villains and characters generally deemed "bad" or "evil" and completely lack emotions ( other than sheer hatred ) for typical protagonist which may or may not include the following; the shy girl who likes to stutter and has an extremely immature sense of humor ( OH MY, YOU SAID WANG! *BLUSH* ), the young aspiring boy warrior with a well-guarded secret which will always save his ass when things go bad, the elderly warrior who carries a terrible burden due to a random mistake made in the past and the female sex object who should be mute.

Is it because I'm a raging sociopath or simply because evil is hot whereas good is not?"

The simple answer to this is that you rock. Just like me. We have realized that true character greatness lies beyond what the big mass of imbeciles like. We are higher beings!

------------------

Dear... ehh... hare,

"1. When is the end of the world where eternal damnation will spread throughout the world?"

Closer than you might think, but not as far away as you might believe.

"2. How come some people are ego-maniacs and narcissists?"

We are needed to balance out the rest of you, who fail to realize that self-love is the only true love.

"3. What happedned to Anastasia when she got shot in the head"

Gee, good question. Maybe she got up and said "lol you noobs, that felt like the bite of a mosquito!". Then she proceeded to dropkick the assassins.

Or maybe she died.

"4. WHY I AM SO SEXY?""

I'd say "you aren't", but for some reason this question by itself is alone to make me laugh when paired up with question number 2...

----------------------

Dear eddy squiggles,

"Why do some people go out of their way to post in orange when it is not only hard to see but also an ugly color? (although some other types of orange can look nice)"

It's a strange phenomenon which occurs when people go something like this;

- Gosh darn, I want to make a memorable post and instead of blatantly revealing that I have nothing good to say I'll just color my post in it's entirity.

Then the person would normally proceed and color it blue. Nobody would notice, except for a faint reaction of "wow, it's not the default color".

And then we have some people who follow their individual train of stupidity and choose their favorite color without even giving a thought to how the forum would handle such a redundant color.

So the result is in either case, because people are idiots. Nothing new there huh!
(Imagine coloring your name, or your user title, or your signature for that matter! How silly!)

"What is the exact amount of water required for Ranma to be considered wet to change, and what is the exact temperature for when the water goes from being considered cold to hot?"

Even a drop is enough, but the metamorphosis will take quite a while instead. Luckily, nobody attempts that. The water becomes hot when watching porno, and becomes cold when browsing Gotwoot.

"If you suddenly woke up one morning with wings on your back, where would be the first place you would fly to?"

The highest building in town, yell "I KNEW I WAS A NEWTYPE!" and then proceed to rob a bunch of people. I'd take their belongings to a secluded area on some random rooftop. And when I finally have enough money, I'll move to the japanese countryside and live peacefully together with my hot wings.

I'd probably have a few photo shoots too, because wings are sexy.

"If you had to choose between losing an arm or a leg, which would you choose?"

Arm, easily. I'd then replace it with metal and cosplay as Edward Elric. Even later on I'd hook up with a hot mechanic. Female mechanics are HOT.

"What is the real cause of dinosaur's extinction?"

Lack of good things to see on TV. Can kill anyone.

"Is drinking your own blood when you get a cut healthy?"

No, but getting cut isn't either, so don't fucking get cut.

"Why is it that in our society, if you don't try to hump the first thing you see with 2 legs and a vagina you are automatically assumed to be gay?"

It's all about who you choose to hang out with. People who assume that you are gay because you have realized that sex isn't anything to rave about are most likely stupid jocks with small penises who try to prove their self-worth by counting the amount of people they have penetrated. Well guess what, when you are a skeleton, not even the worms who will eat your dead buried body will care about how many people you have fucked. So there.

"If you were in a room with Tom Cruise, Oprah, and a Clown, and you had a gun with only one bullet, who would you shoot?"

Tom Cruise. Pretty men should all die. I want to be the only one.

------------------------

Dear Debbie,

"Why do I have a stomach ache right now?"

Because I put living parasites in your food. The antidote can be obtained at the usual place, providing that you have left the money there.

"Why are some tissue box sizes classified as "Mansize" tissues?"

-Mansize tissues, catching your load since days of yore!-

"Why has my question about one piece episodes not been answered yet in the Anime Downloads section of the forum?"

Bleh, One Piece sucks right now.

"When it is said about somebody that "he has guts", why is it taken to mean that the person is brave and not fat?"

Fat would be "he has a gut".
The real question is, why is it taken to mean that the person is brave and doesn't just have a bunch of intestines?

"Why are things made in China yet packed in the EU? How do these items get sent from China to EU anyway?"

Special dogs prepared to run fast as hell. They are afterwards eaten by the EU employees (who are all chinese) since they miss the dog cuisine of their homeland.

"Why do you continue to live in Sweden despite being unemployed?"

Yeah, good idea, I'll just take my zero money and move to another country!

-------------------

Dear meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegabuster who has yet to see my Yzaky sides, apparently,

"who are you?

who am i?

why do you exist?

why do i exist?

why does anything exist?"

Testicles.

"if there's only one guy in the whole world and noone is there to awknowledge him, does he still exist?"

Ask yourself this, would you want your existence to be acknowledged by a random drifter who smells horribly, or would you rather just want to live in eternal solitude?

Does it matter?

"if copy x is just a copy, does that mean he never existed or he never should've existed?"

It means that he should find copy z and start a club.

"why does all my questions have to do with existence?"

There is no spoon.

----------------

Dear rocky,

"would it be better to pursue the hadou style of Goutetsu-ryu Ansatsuken, or the shoryu principle?? While at times i am flashy, i am aslo strong and deep like a river...."

Unfortunately your question makes less sense than the instructions on the back of a ramen package (what the fuck do they mean "BOIL WATER"?), so I'll just say "kill stuff and you'll be fine".

-------------

Dear draggy,

"Is it true that you are not disease free?"

In all honesty, I don't know. I should look it up.

"If you are, please contact Assertnfailure. He seems to have proof that says otherwiise"

Oh, well, I've always enjoyed surprising him...

"Anyways, What are some high quality swedish liquor, that you would recommend?"

I wouldn't know, I only drink cheap imports. I don't drink because it's tasty, I drink to escape reality.

"What are the recommended doses, and what do they not mix well with?"

80% alcohol, 20% soda.

"Also, What is the best time to visit your country, that is if I am not shot on entry."

If you like rain, then any time is a good time. If you don't like rain, try the 2nd of July and the 4th of August.

------------------

Dear stalkidsadadsd,

"How is Bunny's eye sight so fucked up that he sees himself as sexy, and seems to find orange easy to read?"

Didn't you two make out last weekend?

`"Also, why do mexican's mow lawns in the first place."

Mexicans find it intriguating. It's part of their genes. Which is funny, because I didn't know Mexico had grass. Isn't it all rocks?

/ Terry LaBerry

[xDarkMaster]

Dear Terra,

Why is Comcast giving me terrible service and how do I fix it?

[ChaosK]

Dear terra,

Someone said that "the grass is always greener on the other side" yet, my neighbors lawn looks like shit. Doesn't this prove that grass isn't always greener?

Also who first said "when in rome?" why did they choose rome? they could've chose "when in korea..."

[masamuneehs]

Dear Terra,

Why aren't real lesbians hot like the ones on film? Wait, more than that, why are real life lesbians amongst the most hideous sights on the planet?

If you could pick one finger to chop off, which would it be and why?

Indoor or outdoor bud?

What is my zodiac sign and what does it mean for me?

-masa

[Lefty]

Dear terra which sucks more as a movie Battle field earth or Titanic.

Why do my teeth feel lose.

Why can't i remeber what i did ten years a go but know what i'm doing next week.

[msmush]

To sir terra,
how do you remain so unbelievably cool !!! teach me your ways.
&&...what is a gangster like you doing in a place like gw?...not implying those on gw arent gansters but...yeah !

from - yours

[el_boss]

When does the first commandment "bros before hos" not apply?

[NM]

Dear Terra,

1. Since when do you know all the answers to lifes greatest mysteries?

2. I'm going to be attending the PLAY! concert, the one with that big Video Game Music Orchestra and Nobou Uematsu and Harry Gregson-Williams (who does the MGS music) will be there. Will I get to meet them and get their autograph? If not, how can I?

-NM

[PSJ]

I'm not expecting anyone to know the answers to these questions but if you do, i will worship you like a god.

1. Why the fuck does women say one thing and then mean a totally diffrent thing?

2. How the fuck do i learn how to understand this bullshit behaviour?

[RedX1z]

dear terra-tang(yeah, i'm running out of things to call you),

i go to the deli and buy a blt, but when i open it up when i get back home, there's meat on there, but it doesn't look like bacon.. what the hell is it?

why are there mexicans working in the chinese restaurant which is a few blocks away from my house?

a squirrel(the same squirrel for the pass month or so) keeps sleeping on the balcony, do i shoot it or leave it alone?

-signed, redx1.