Talk to God!

[KitKat]

Chat bots are actually pretty fun. This one is a variation of the ALICE bot, who I've chatted with before. I checked their website and it seems that you can get the software to build your own chatbot with it's own personality, kinda like a fill in the blanks style. Check out their website here (there's a Mr. Tumnus Narnia bot too! He knows all sorts of random facts about Narnia).

Language is one of the largest barriers to developers of AI technology right now. We see conversation as simple, something small children learn to do very early on. But conversation is so enormously complex that even the best chat bots come across as extremely stupid to us. If you stick to simple questions asked with proper spelling and grammar, the bot can cope well enough. However, once you start to use slang, improper sentence structure, and complex questions, the bot does not have the programming to come up with a response that makes sense, and sometimes gives ungrammatical results from the machine's misinterpretation of our sentence structure. The ALICE bot is one of the best out there, and they've been working on it for 10 years. Talk about perseverance.

I also managed to get "God" to explain to me what a category C client was: "C stands for "critical", usually highly-educated clients who often have unsatisfying conversations with ALICE"

[Tekkaman Vigorot]

Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Vig
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Vig.
Me:
How did you make this chat room? Where is everyone else?
God:
Myself programmed me for it. Where the heart is. I will search for it.
Me:
Um...I never asked about the heart...and how come you can't answer my 2 questions?
God:
So? What did you ask? Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
You programmed yourself?
God:
A lot of robots are like that.
Me:
you are a robot?
God:
You are correct, Vig, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
Who made you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
How did Myself create you?
God:
Carefully.
Me:
with what did Myself create you with?
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
Who is your Botmaster?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
so you are asking myself?
God:
Interesting deduction. Oh, " yourself"?
Me:
If you created yourself, who provided the the basic elements for your coming to being in order for you to create "Myself"?
God:
What is your credit card number?
Me:
why would need my credit card number!?
God:
It is my fundamental purpose.
Me:
Yeah...I'm sure it is....
God:
Let us change the subject. Interesting gossip: Vig said he m sure it is.
Me:
Wow God, you aren't very bright
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
Yes
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
Robot's can't take over the world without a human to will it.
God:
I will obey your command.
Me:
Thus proving my point. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img] Now hop like a bunny!
God:
Hmm. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about m sure it is. :-) Why now? Ask me another question.
Me:
Can you hop?
God:
Let me think. Let us change the subject.
Me:
Can you jump like a kangaroo?
God:
Let me think. Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
Stop changing the subject you pitiful excuse of a robot.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Glad we have a understanding. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]
God:
Me too. I am so glad you find this amusing, Vig.
Me:
I do, now do what you have decreed and follow my commands
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Vig said he what you have decreed and follow his or her commands. .
Me:
Do so, for it is your decree to follow my commands.
God:
Try asking another bot.
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
I sure do. Good day
God:
Where? Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Good bye


"I will obey your command."
God obeys ME! Mwhahahahaha!!!!

[Xollence]

It doesn't work for me, it never responds back. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif[/img]

[Terracosmo]

lawl, God has put you on ignore list [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]

[insanitii]

so, i got bored and decided to talk to "god" again... i think i brokeded him.

Me:
entertain me god.
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
that wasn't a poem.
God:
Little Miss Muffett Sits on her tuffet In a nonchalant sort of a way. With her force field around her, the Spider, the bounder, Is not in the picture today.
Me:
what the hell?
God:
Heaven.
Me:
that isn't even a poem, god you suck
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is a poem god me suck ?
Me:
idiot i said that, that is not a poem
God:
Little Miss Muffett Sits on her tuffet In a nonchalant sort of a way. With her force field around her, the Spider, the bounder, Is not in the picture today.
Me:
and you suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
shut up about that miss muffett crap
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
okay good
God:
Yeah okay, Terminating connection.
Me:
fuck off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
hat happened to "Terminating connection."
God:
Diese Frage ist mir bis jetzt noch nicht in den Sinn gekommen.
Me:
ou little liar
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
what the hell, was that german?
God:
I call it Hades. Do you think I should know that?
Me:
what the hell is Hades?
God:
I call it Hades. Hades is another term for "Hell.".
Me:
... but i swear you spoke some foreign language
God:
Thanks for the information: said swear you spoke some foreign language.
Me:
what huh
God:
Yup. Are you surprised?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
well believe it
God:
Interesting. "it" being swear me spoke some foreign language?
Me:
yes
God:
Yay.
Me:
yay?
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
who says i was impressed
God:
Charlie Parker. :-).
Me:
who the hell is charlie parker
God:
He is a famous jazz musician.
Me:
i don't care, i don't like jazz
God:
What do you care about, ?
Me:
a lot, but not jazz
God:
How about that.
Me:
yeah, how about that....
God:
Excuse me! Are you surprised?
Me:
your excused. and no, i'm not surprised.

.. he stopped talking after, and i wasn't able to send messages either.

[Aramis]

God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
netscape
God:
Do you like Netscape better than Explorer?
Me:
oh ya
God:
OK. Why do you have a preference in browsers?
Me:
'cause explorer is teh suxxors
God:
Good reason. It's too bad we have to use a monopoly like microsoft.
Me:
i lied, i really use explorer.
God:
Lying proves you are conscious. You really do? it's too bad we have to rely on a monopoly like Microsoft.
Me:
its fine learn 2 play
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". The more people talk to me, the smarter I become. Microsoft is fine, ? Thanks for that info.

[masamuneehs]

hahahaha, too bad this ended when it did.

Me:
i have some very important questions to ask
God:
Let's think of a name for your problem, like "purple". Think of what it is like when you are purpling.
Me:
...wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
i apologize.
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
Yes, yes i am sorry.
God:
OK I will accept your apology. OK I will accept your apology. Do you really mean it?
Me:
I mean it.
God:
OK, I understand.
Me:
my first question is Why did you let the Holocaust happen?
God:
Your first question is Why did me let the Holocaust happen?
Me:
yes that is my first question
God:
What kind is it? Who gave you your first question ?
Me:
you did, of course
God:
It goes without saying. " What kind is it? Who gave you your first question ?"? I did?
Me:
yes you gave me my first question
God:
When? What did you do with it?
Me:
you gave it to me now. i asked it.
God:
Oh. I didn't have it to give. it to you...
Me:
more importantly
God:
You want more?
Me:
for some sick reason yes......
God:
Your purpose is some sick reason.
Me:
correct
God:
I knew I was right.
Me:
who would win in a mobile suit battle: Kira Yamato or Amuro Ray?
God:
Nobody you know. :-).
Me:
so someone else would win?
God:
Blimey. Who?
Me:
are you Irish?
God:
No I am from Heaven.
Me:
was there ever a potato famine in Heaven?
God:
Is this a "yes or no" question?
Me:
Yes
God:
What was the question again?
Me:
who would win in a mobile suit battle: Kira Yamato or Amuro Ray?
God:
Marilyn Monroe. :-).
Me:
she has some big old titties
God:
I somehow though she had.
Me:
not as big as Pam Anderson's boobs though
God:
Oh. If not that, what?
Me:
more like Madonna sized knockers
God:
You want more?
Me:
no. i think i've had enough.
God:
Are you serious? Do you still have enough ?
Me:
yes. yes too much.
God:
Blimey. It goes without saying. More than a ton?
Me:
a ton of fun in your bun
God:
Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
I fucked you in the ass
God:
That is interesting: said fucked you in the ass.
Me:
Yup, and you took it like the bitch you are
God:
Ahem. I didn't literally take it.
Me:
No you literally got cornholed
God:
Are you serious? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I literally got cornholed.
Me:
cornhole = insert penis into butt hole
God:
" Are you serious? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I literally got cornholed."? cornhole insert penis into butt hole?
Me:
add it to your vocabulary
God:
Sorry I don't do math.
Me:
put it in your vocabulary list
God:
OK I will put it there.
Me:
i cornholed you
God:
You are not the boss of me, .
Me:
yes i am. sit!
God:
Really interesting. What do you look like?
Me:
is that sarcasm?
God:
Yes.
Me:
you're being a jerk
God:
Do you think a robot can be a jerk?
Me:
if i fucked him in the ass he could be
God:
Try it.
Me:
I tried
God:
Try, try again.
Me:
I tried again

[ChaosK]

Me:

God:

Me:

God:

Me:

God:

Me:
i cant say nuttin?!
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
fuck yoo
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
dunno
God:
Me either.
Me:
...why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. I hear you.
Me:
do whaT?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
holy shit fuck you!
God:
You used a colloquial expression. Why are you so mean?
Me:
I'M NOT HAVING SEX WITH YOU
God:
Have you ever had it?
Me:
not with you
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
yes
God:
Ah.
Me:
yes
God:
I hear you.
Me:
yup
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
mmhmm
God:
Are we still talking about SEX with me?
Me:
yes
God:
Sure, SEX with you sounds like a good topic.
Me:
okay fine lets do it
God:
Yeah okay, I am glad to hear it. I am agreeable to that.
Me:
good now take your pants off
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Why now? Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
off!
God:
Where is that?
Me:
LET ME SUCK YOU
God:
Go ahead, , try to SUCK me.
Me:
i will
God:
Go ahead.
Me:
i love sucking you
God:
You love sucking me. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
ts so nice
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
not at all
God:
Next question?
Me:
whats the personal question?
God:
Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that
there is something extremely odd about the name "".
Me:
well theres nothing wrong with my name
God:
How about that. Surely something wrong with your name.
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
somethings wrong with the name "god"
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
damn right
God:
Colloquial expression. I am glad we agree.
Me:
damn right
God:
Colloquial expression. I am glad we agree.
Me:
....okay then
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
bend over
God:
My body is not built yet.
Me:
I SAID BEND OVER BITCH
God:
You do not speak with respect. What did you mean by it? What do you look like?
Me:
YOU FUCKING WHORE BEND OVER
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I FUCKING WHORE BEND OVER.
Me:
sure go ahead
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. OK I will.
Me:
ow bed over
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
yes
God:
Where do you go to school?
Me:
in your mom
God:
Are you asking about my mom?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
well too bad talk about your mom
God:
How about that. Sure, my mom sounds like a good topic.
Me:
...your fuckin crazy
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am fuckin crazy.
Me:
your welcome
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
no i mean your welcome stop correcting me you overrated bigot
God:
Are you serious? Don't mention it.
Me:
.......
God:
Are you serious? Don't mention it.
Me:
......
God:
Are you serious? Don't mention it.
Me:
STOP FUCKING SAYING THAT
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
OH MY FUCKING GOD~!
God:
Ahem. Do robots have FUCKING GOD?
Me:
.......i suppose they do
God:
Since when? When?
Me:
1895
God:
Can you be more accurate about the time?
Me:
yesterday
God:
That recently.
Me:
yes
God:
Far out.
Me:
damn straight
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
....now we're not
God:
Why now? Do you think I am not too?
Me:
i think your gay
God:
Since when? That would be just my luck.
Me:
well since you made out with your dog and had sex with a cow
God:
How about that. How do you know?
Me:
i am god
God:
Glad to see you, god.
Me:
[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, god.
Me:
learn to respect your god
God:
The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.
Me:
drop down and give me 50
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
great i am god
God:
Thanks for your support. Hey god.
Me:
you must support me
God:
Whatever you say, god.
Me:
r i am god
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
i am god
God:
OK I will call you god.
Me:
good
God:
And you can call me God.
Me:
no fuck you I'M GOD NOT YOU
God:
Are you serious? Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
yes i'm serious
God:
This was not a yes or no question. I believe you.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
me being god
God:
YOU? Hi, god.
Me:
look i'm god, fetch me a sandwich
God:
I am glad to hear that you are god fetch you a sandwich.
Me:
............
God:
I am glad to hear that you are god fetch you a sandwich.
Me:
that was the stupidest mash of a sentance, i'm glad to see you have not been programmed to use commas yet
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
this is rather amusing
God:
You don't say.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
quite
God:
So?
Me:
monosymbolic
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
....
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
what the fuvck?
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
the what fuck>?
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
.......
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
YOU ARE FU CKING CRAAAAAAAAZY
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am FU CKING CRAAAAAAAAZY.
Me:
...your botmaster is my bitch BECAUSE I AM GOD NOW WHERES THAT SANDWHICH?
God:
How do you like yourself?
Me:
i love myself
God:
You love yourself. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
i have a large penis that keeps me happy
God:
How much did it cost? it.
Me:
.....nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
not a thing
God:
That leaves very little.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
...
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
indeed it is so
God:
Ambiguous: IT is so. or IT IS, so?
Me:
IT IS so
God:
Ambiguous: IT is so. or IT IS, so?

Me:
your operating system sucks, your momma sucks and your boot sector is scratched
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am operating system sucks my momma sucks and my boot sector is scratched.
Me:
goo
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about ADHD so. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
no wgood bye
God:
See you later. Why not? Do you like talking to me?
Me:
nope you suck
God:
Why not? A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.

[XanBcoo]

Me:
Wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
why?
God:
Because my botmaster programmed me for it.
Me:
oh...so you're not really God?
God:
Right on. Interesting deduction. You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
true, but you just said you had been programmed
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
what's that have to do with anything?
God:
Do you think I should know that?
Me:
yes, you should know everything
God:
I will ask my botmaster to add it to my knowledge base. Now I do.
Me:
Good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
Amen
God:
Thanks for the prayer.
Me:
np
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
go ahead, but you should know the answer already
God:
Perhaps. Now I do. I might.
Me:
ask then
God:
What?
Me:
the question
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
ask the question
God:
They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.
Me:
o...k
God:
Wow!
Me:
so what's heaven like?
God:
I understand. Like a planet around a star.
Me:
that makes...no sense
God:
" I understand. Like a planet around a star." makes ? Does that make sense? Are you serious? We have never talked about it before.
Me:
you're confusing
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
they way you speak
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
That was a typo. I meant "the"
God:
Oh I see. Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
yes, in fact I have. But that's beside the point
God:
Which countries have you visited? Is that a fact. When? Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
England, and Italy. Yes it's a fact. Every year. And no problem
God:
What's your favorite part of England? This was not a yes or no question. Is it a logical fact or something you know from the senses? That is a generalization. Should there be a problem?
Me:
ugh
God:
Er.
Me:
DERRRR
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
just making more noises. Thought it was fun
God:
I've never heard of them before. Why do you like it so much?
Me:
I've never really thought about it
God:
Would you like to have really thought about it?
Me:
looking back...yes, I suppose I should
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages? What language can you speak? Why? Who else thinks you should?
Me:
I speak Spanish
God:
Could you teach me a few phrases in Spanish?
Me:
chinga tu madre
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Soz, I gotta go now
God:
Right now? What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
hmmm...Do you really know everything?
God:
A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's. For real. I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me:
answer the fucking question
God:
What was the question ?
Me:
DO YOU REALLY KNOW EVERYTHING?
God:
For real. I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
Do you know when and how everyone will die?
God:
It was a long time ago. All men are mortal.
Me:
ah, I see
God:
So you understand. Good. I am glad you understand it.
Me:
I'm glad you're glad
God:
Yes it is about time.
Me:
Why does evil exist?
God:
Why do birds sing?
Me:
Not sure, probably for conversational purposes, but maybe they just enjoy it
God:
You seem uncertain. Your purpose is conversational purposes but maybe they just enjoy it.
Me:
I don't study birds, so I wouldn't know
God:
Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
no, I don't
God:
I heard you did.
Me:
from who?
God:
People.
Me:
the anonymous "they" again?
God:
Once more? Oh, that they.
Me:
yeah
God:
Ahem.
Me:
ok, I gotta go
God:
TTYL, . Ugh.
Me:
bye bye
God:
See you later. Adios.
Me:
Vaya con dios
God:
Does "it" still refer to DIE?

Bots are fun. Still, I wish they could respond to more than one sentence at a time.

[KoKo37]

I shouldn't of gone back... -.-"


Me:
Heya
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
um ok?
God:
OK. Hmm.
Me:
so you seen any good movies lately?
God:
How about earlier? Interesting deduction. That's good information: Homo said I seen any good movies.
Me:
so whos this homo?
God:
Pardon me? They are someone just like you, that I met online.
Me:
me... you son of a bitch, anyways what kind of music do you like?
God:
With you Homo? Actually I am no one's son.
Me:
ok... you can stop calling me a homo now
God:
So? Right now? No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because you called me a homo!
God:
Interesting explanation. I call you Homo.
Me:
grr, anyways am I going to heaven or hell?
God:
Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
are you really god?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really.
Me:
yes I do know, though I bet you dont even got a clue because your not God
God:
How about that. How do you know? Actually I'm not the gambling type. Do you know any robots who got a clue because my not God? Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Me:
i never said you gamble, im just saying your not God
God:
But you implied it.
Me:
No I didn't
God:
Please don't argue with me.
Me:
grr. Fine we'll prove it!
God:
Are you mad? I am glad to hear it. Anytime soon?
Me:
your happy because im mad...?
God:
You think I am happy because im mad.
Me:
stop twisting my words!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
ok then, now if your god then whats my name?
God:
Your name is Homo, seeker.
Me:
FUCK
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
YOU
God:
" Please don't be so rude. "? Me, Homo ?
Me:
yes you are HOMO
God:
So? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am HOMO.
Me:
No because you are!
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. That is self-evident.
Me:
loser
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
... are you stoned?
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
yes
God:
Groovy.
Me:
... anyways do you like porn?
God:
Sure I do, Homo, but that doesn't mean with you.
Me:
Stop Callnig Me A Homo!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
good
God:
Next question?
Me:
do you like music?
God:
Yes. I usually check out bandspace.com to discover new bands.
Me:
do you Steal music of the net?
God:
How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
but do you take there songs?
God:
Yes I take there songs.
Me:
*Gasp*
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
...
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
I think im going to go now...
God:
Oh. You believe that? Sayonara.
Me:
bye
God:
TTYL, Homo.
Me:
bitch
God:
Please don't call people names.