The Bitching Thread

[enkoujin]

Explaining my cowardice or course of actions here:

The downside of being a pussy, next time man up and actually interact with someone.

Tolerant of some mad man shouting angrily outside your door?

Man up and do something about it or call the cops, just ignoring it hoping it goes away is a pretty vaginal course of action.

Thanks for taking great interest in my anecdote, Archangel.

Someone is furiously swearing repetitively across from the house from you and you think it would be safe for you to walk over and ask what's wrong? I mean, granted, I was the one who suggested that I should've done that in retrospect. i.e., if I knew it was a suicide and some guy was swearing was yelling about it loud enough for other people could hear, I would have went over to find out what was wrong. I'm not physically strong or agile either, so if it was, say, a homicide and I walked over there, things could have turned ugly for me.

However, I didn't know his situation and another fact is that the guy was yelling (not directly from his balcony), but inside his house with his window open. He never came outside asking for help and I was in my room facing the other side with headphones after I first heard him yell. I heard from my sister that he had been yelling constantly every time.

Like I said, I live in Canada in a quiet neighbourhood. You don't expect any sort of violence to be happening much and the only times I've interacted with emergency services or called for help are when I'm directly involved in the situation (e.g., someone vomiting or someone clearly being harassed).

As previously stated, I want to emphasize that I was locked up in my room with headphones, so I was oblivious to how long he was yelling for. EDIT: until my sister told me about it when she came to sleep and I went down to see three police cars and ambulances there.

Good job, a life which could have possibly been saved was lost on account of you not giving a shit.

I don't know what exactly happened. The suicide, quoted by the man, was "she hanged herself". I'm not too sure whether or not I could have stopped it if I intervened because I don't know whether she killed herself earlier in the day by herself and the man discovered her like that or if she killed herself in the presence of the man.

There is absolutely no possible likelihood of that having happened.

Archangel is right. Calling the authorities and actually confronting the situation is the best course of action.

Would you call the police if one of your neighbours was angry and cursing without any great details? All I heard was "fuck fuck fuck" and not something like "OH MY GOD, PLEASE HELP ME! SOMEONE CALL HELP!"

It's not like I was in my living room the entire four hours listening to him curse loudly. I have to admit that I did close an intervention window because when I initially heard him screaming. I was tutoring my sister from the living room at the time when the screaming first started and closed our window and told her to concentrate on her homework instead of listening to the man.

I think Buff is right at least initially. A guy just cursing over and over is not going to get much of a reaction out of me. The problem is that it continued for over 5 hours. A half hour I can understand maybe even an hour but anything beyond that is just completely unreasonable.



Don't be too hard on yourself. Based on what you said even if you had called the cops right away it wouldn't have changed the outcome much, given that the woman was already dead. Don't focus on the fact that someone died across the street from you either, such things happen. Death is one of those things that can really unhinge people especially if they feel they are somehow responsible.

Thanks, Abdula. I really appreciate your input.

Don't ever call the cops for any reason.

Thanks, Y, but apart from the shady dealings with higher-ups in the force along with some [corrupt] police officers (where they turn a blind eye to a co-worker's law breaking), I trust my Canadian police force to help me when I'll need it.

Step 1) Don't call the cops.
Step 2) Smoke some weed.

I have never ever tried any marijuana products nor do I wish to experiment it anytime soon, but I'll just take that as "chill out and don't worry about it". Thank you, Assertn.

Thanks to Kraco as well.

[Kraco]

Over here the police has issued a semi-official statement that you have to listen to loud noises (such as angry cursing or arguing) for two hours before calling the authorities, unless there are clear cries for help or something even worse like gunshots.

[Y]

I think he's trying to make fun of me since I want to be a cop but I don't like to help people. I've discussed this with buddies before and my reasoning is that my primary motive for becoming a cop is not to help people, but to be able to punish them when they fuck up.

I wasn't making fun of you at all, although I can see how the comment would be interpreted that way in hindsight. If someone has attempted suicide, you should call paramedics, not the police, as it's not a criminal matter. That being said, thanks for this insight into your absolutely bankrupt morality.

[Archangel]

In that case i'd agree, obviously. I was discussing Enloujin's case though, where it was simply a madman at his doorstep from his perspective.

[enkoujin]

Why don't you become a judge or a corrections officer then because unless you plan on shooting or battering every criminal you encounter, you are not going to be dishing out much punishment.

I agree wholeheartedly with Abdula, Ani.

If your main motive for your career is dishing out judgment, being a police officer doesn't cut it. You're just there to apprehend criminals without resulting to force with exceptions to dire situations. Being a judge, prosecutor or someone high up in bureaucracy who regulates the law is more in sync with what you're looking to do.

An important quote I've been told many times by my humanities teachers is that police officers exist only to enforce the law - they are not the law itself. It might be dangerous for someone as judgmental, pretentious and power-hungry as you are to be a policeman, honestly, unless you try to change your philosophy.

[Animeniax]

By most estimations of criminals (and everyone else in society), apprehending criminals and submitting them to the criminal justice system is punishment. I don't mean that I'll brutalize them or overstep my bounds in punishing them. I simply mean bringing them to justice and to pay for their crimes against society. "Helping" someone in terms of police action almost always involves punishing another party that is the source of their problem.

Btw, update on my situation: I got the letter of rejection from PD. I'm allowed to reapply in 2 years. Not bad. Typically dq's lock you out for 3-10 years. I take this reduced sentence as a sign that they realized my infraction wasn't as bad as all that. Still, 2 years is a long time at my age. And 2 years from now, the same cops at recruiting will probably remember me and might not give me a 2nd chance. We'll see what I do from here.

[XanBcoo]

Would you call the police if one of your neighbours was angry and cursing without any great details? All I heard was "fuck fuck fuck" and not something like "OH MY GOD, PLEASE HELP ME! SOMEONE CALL HELP!"

It's not like I was in my living room the entire four hours listening to him curse loudly. I have to admit that I did close an intervention window because when I initially heard him screaming. I was tutoring my sister from the living room at the time when the screaming first started and closed our window and told her to concentrate on her homework instead of listening to the man.

Sorry, I said Archangel was right but I wasn't totally agreeing with him. You could not have prevented the incident but alerting some authority would have been a far better course of action than doing nothing at all, by your own admission. It doesn't make you less of a man (whatever the fuck that means) for not doing so, just not conditioned to confront those sort of situations in that way.

I probably wouldn't have called anyone, but I realize that too would have been a mistake.

[Archangel]

I never said it would have prevented anything or everything, only that it could of and that it would have been the correct course of action.

Oh and it positively makes you less of a man, i honestly can't wrap my mind around such a huge bitch who would allow some crazed out hobo scream outside his house for hours without doing anything about it. You don't even have to go outside yourself but fuck, do something...

[enkoujin]

Like I said, if I had known what was going on at the time, I would have done something. A cry for help, a declaration that someone was dead, etc. instead of constant "FUCK"s, I would have have done something.

I'll keep that in mind for the future that if someone was having some kind of vague angry fit inside their own house without any detail regarding their situation (and not coming outside his home), but was projecting it loud enough for everyone to hear in the neighbourhood and I was in the constant presence of his tantrum (i.e., if I was in my living room and not in my room with headphones), I guarantee that I will confront the issue next time by choosing to call the emergency and non-emergency police line.

Thanks, Archangel and XanBcoo.

[XanBcoo]

Oh and it positively makes you less of a man, i honestly can't wrap my mind around such a huge bitch who would allow some crazed out hobo scream outside his house for hours without doing anything about it. You don't even have to go outside yourself but fuck, do something...

lol bitches amirite

[Assertn]

lol bitches amirite

I think we should replace the forum's header images with Arc's shirtless pic, to remind us anime nerds what it means to man up.

[Animeniax]

I think we should replace the forum's header images with Arc's shirtless pic, to remind us anime nerds what it means to man up.

I don't appreciate the stereotype that people who watch anime are all chicken shits who don't act, though that is the popular perception and deservedly so. I'm with Archangel, sometimes you have to do something.

[Buffalobiian]

Refrain from name-calling or attempts at flaming, people.

I never said it would have prevented anything or everything, only that it could of and that it would have been the correct course of action.

It's true that the action may have possibly prevented something. Likewise it is also true that may have caused something negative to happen. It's all guesses from here.

What would be the future course of action? Calling the cops whenever someone yells out again? Cops don't come out for free - there's the manpower, fuel and the disturbance they themselves bring to a neighbourhood when they turn up. That's not counting the important bit: opportunity cost - when the police is checking out someone who is yelling from their house, they can't be elsewhere.

Police at Kraco's country have the right idea about striking a balance there. Cops here don't want to know about theft at a store unless it's been going on for long enough, or if the value is over $300.

With limited public resources, you have to weigh up the cost of calling people out whenever this happens every single time.. And by "this", we are talking about a loud man sonically recognised as being angry, not distressed.

i honestly can't wrap my mind around such a huge bitch who would allow some crazed out hobo scream outside his house for hours without doing anything about it.

It's not too hard. One deaf person might carry on living happily while another might think it's worse than death. Whether one cares or not (aka gives a shit) about something being taken from them (in this case, environmental quietness) depends on how much they value it.

edit:discrepancy time- Enkoujin.. so you were tutoring your sister... with headphones on?

[enkoujin]

No, I was tutoring my sister when I first heard the noise. I helped her for about ~10 minutes and then left to my room and put my headphones on.

[Uchiha Barles]

People who scream, in general have a problem. The problem can range in severity from simple and inconsequential to complex and life altering. The key here is that if someone is screaming, in general, there is a problem.

Recognizing that, decide where you stand with regards to helping, and how much you're willing to stick your neck out for someone else. Do you care to help? How much risk are you willing to take in doing so? Answer those two questions and act accordingly. Reading through this I'm actually with Archie on this, but more sympathetic even so.

Buff is correct in that involving yourself by going over there and asking what the problem is or calling the cops could have either positive or negative results. However, the best you can do is to make a decision based on the information you have. A screaming man has a problem, and a man screaming loud enough for the neighborhood to hear for an extended amount time (even 10 minutes is long enough for concern) is not concerned about others reaction to him, probably because he's withdrawn himself from his environment as a coping mechanism; his problem is severe. How you react to this should be based more on what you know, and less on what you don't know.. You know there's a problem, but you don't know what the problem is.

That being said, I can see your decision going either way. There were times when I've heard someone getting shot right outside my window and wouldn't so much as peek through the window so as not to risk being noticed. The screaming people obviously had a problem, but I usually had a good idea as to why that took place, and what would happen to me if I got involved. Those were shit neighborhoods high in crime, low in income, with a criminal base that reacted harshly to people who gave information to the police. I keep my nose out of that.

In any case, this isn't something for you to lose too much sleep over. What it is, is an opportunity to learn from and grow as a person. Take it. The next time something in any way similar to what you experienced here happens, you should be completely comfortable with the decision you made.

[Buffalobiian]

How you react to this should be based more on what you know, and less on what you don't know.

I would tend to agree with this statement.

My biggest question is how you evaluate the situation (in other words, how you interpret the "what you know" part):

1) Do you readily identify the "noise" as a distressed screaming?

Or

2) Do you readily identify the "noise" as loud, angry cursing?

The first emotion Enkoujin identified in his post is "angry", which I would identify as situation #2.. which in turn doesn't necessarily suggest he's in trouble.

.. but hey, I know people who will approach angry people (who don't appear to want help) and ask if they're alright.

[enkoujin]

Thanks for your opinion, Uchiha.

It's difficult for me to identify situations where I can freely intervene unless it was super explicit. Recognizing emergencies is definitely something on my to-do list now.

In other bitching, I'm waiting to hear back about my major placement. At the end of the year, the first-years have to rank the majors they want to get into and are admitted based on their GPA and the quotas needed.

Most of my first-year peers on Facebook have all heard about what they have been placed in and it feels like I'm the one of the few ones who haven't heard back from the admissions staff. Everyone's been announcing their majors in their status feeds, making Facebook major groups and celebrating.

In the meanwhile, I've thoroughly calculated my GPA and compared it to the admissions list and I'm pretty sure I got into my most desired major. For some reason, though, my brain is on stress overdrive and I couldn't sleep tonight because the desire to know which major I was placed in beat out my body's natural tendency to fall asleep. Maybe it's because I read status updates where people despaired at the fact that they did not end up where they wanted and I translated this fear of occurrence to myself.

I really hate how my brain subconsciously? interferes with what I really need to do even when the physical need to sleep beats the need to complete homework the night before every time except this situation.

[Uchiha Barles]

I would tend to agree with this statement.

My biggest question is how you evaluate the situation (in other words, how you interpret the "what you know" part):

1) Do you readily identify the "noise" as a distressed screaming?

Or

2) Do you readily identify the "noise" as loud, angry cursing?

The first emotion Enkoujin identified in his post is "angry", which I would identify as situation #2.. which in turn doesn't necessarily suggest he's in trouble.

.. but hey, I know people who will approach angry people (who don't appear to want help) and ask if they're alright.

I edited that part for clarity but since you quoted it faster than I edited I'll put it back. Explaining how you go about evaluating is complex, but most people can do it easily enough. First, you hear the screaming. The screaming indicates a 'problem', not necessarily 'trouble'. If it's a singular "FUCK!!", then that doesn't necessarily warrant further consideration. But if it's extended, or stands out in any way beyond that, then without further information, you decide if you want to help or not. If you decide you want to help, you then decide how much risk you're willing to take, which is where the complexity comes in. Using enkoujin's example, he would then have to consider his relationship with the neighbor, and anything else he might know about the guy either in detail or in passing. Helping may require getting further information, and if his analysis of the neighbor and the relationship between them supports him going out there and talking the guy with an acceptable risk level, then he goes. Otherwise, he looks for another less risky way to acquire the information, or he looks for a way to help that requires less information (e.g. calling the cops).

This can take less than a minute to consider. The point is, *if* you decide you'd like to help figure out if you're able to help. If yes, then do it. Regret is a bitch.

[Animeniax]

What would be the future course of action? Calling the cops whenever someone yells out again? Cops don't come out for free - there's the manpower, fuel and the disturbance they themselves bring to a neighbourhood when they turn up. That's not counting the important bit: opportunity cost - when the police is checking out someone who is yelling from their house, they can't be elsewhere.

Police at Kraco's country have the right idea about striking a balance there. Cops here don't want to know about theft at a store unless it's been going on for long enough, or if the value is over $300.

With limited public resources, you have to weigh up the cost of calling people out whenever this happens every single time.. And by "this", we are talking about a loud man sonically recognised as being angry, not distressed.

By not having the police readily respond to complaints/calls for assistance, you're just encouraging vigilantism and for people to take care of bad situations on their own, increasing the chances for things to really get out of hand. I'm not sure about places like Finlandia or Australia, but in the US, that means increased gun violence and death.

[Kraco]

I don't enjoy interacting with the police so much that I'd like them called every time someone is disturbed by noise or suspects a slim chance of something being wrong, but not necessarily even criminally wrong. Especially with the economic recession promoting criminal activity yet decreasing the national budget, the funding for the police included. So, the already stressed police forces have far better things to do than to check out every cursing dude.

Besides, ours is such a nanny state anyway that the last thing needed is the police sticking their nose in everyday business.