A fucking sparrow just stole my lunch.
I was sitting outside in our Student Union's courtyard, reading, and a sparrow jumped up on the table, inched towards me, and grabbed the entire top bun of my Crispy Chicken Sandwich. Three more followed him, and I snatched away the chicken from the sandwich before they could get at it. They didn't even flinch when I tried to bat them away.
I was just owned by a 5 inch-long bird.