Wow I stand corrected, kick that p.o.s. to the curb. It sounds like you were friends and then became roommates? You can say it's not his fault because of mental issues, but in the end if those issues are causing you this kind of trouble, then he's a bad friend. If he refuses to get help, then you should get away from him.
“For God will not permit that we shall know what is to come... those who by some sorcery or by some dream might come to pierce the veil that lies so darkly over all that is before them may serve by just that vision to cause that God should wrench the world from its heading and set it upon another course altogether and then where stands the sorcerer? Where the dreamer and his dream?”
Someone stealing from you is not your friend. Kick him out.
Peace.
Does mental health exist (free social work counselling etc) where you live, so that he can get help? Have you warned him about further stealing and what the consequences of that would be?
If it's not Isuzu-chan Mii~
Free mental health? no, his family get him a part of the treatment he SHOULD be taking, i`ve never adressed the stealing thing, i`m afraid it would worsen his condition.
You cannot hope to build a better world without improving the individuals. To that end each of us must work for his own improvement, and at the same time share a general responsibility for all humanity, our particular duty being to aid those to whom we think we can be most useful. -Marie Curie
Letting him steal from you is not helping him either. That will eventually lead to him stealing from others when the opportunity arises, and others are generally not as forgiving as you are.
Peace.
Put a lock on your door and/or GTFO.
Letting someone steal from you is basically enabling them, no matter how "mentally ill" they are.
"Leaving hell is not the same as entering it." - Tierce Japhrimel
Why would he put a lock on his door and GTFO?
Peace.
That sounds sad. You are nicer and far more naive than I thought. Yes I was referring to the random letters. It is depressing how much experience I have dealing with this crap, most telling is that my initial reaction to reading your post was That it?Originally Posted by UChessmaster
Here are some simple rules. For your first example, ensure that your friend and everyone else knows that you are not at all responsible for his crap. Reinforce this by not taking any responsibility. As far as the stealing thing goes you should have confronted him and put a stop to it as soon as you noticed it. If he needs help financially let him ask for it like any decent human being. If he has too much pride or he is too ashamed then too bad. Instead you not only ignored the problem but facilitated it and this point any kind of confrontation will indeed make things worse but it has to be addressed. Hell this is depressing..... there comes a point when the best thing you can do for someone, and for yourself for that matter, is to let them go. Sounds like you are about there. Come up with a plan of action and implement it. You will undoubtedly appear as the bad guy so just harden your resolve, be firm and make sure your actions don't contradict your intentions.
I have a far graver, uh situation, that I have to resolve that I have been putting off for months now mostly because there is no good outcome. I decided that I would have to address the problem once the month ends which pretty much gives me less than a day to actually decide how best to go about it.
*Sigh* Ruining peoples lives is something you never get used to and in my case being too direct isn't an option. They are either likely to react violently to that which I am just not going to stand for or just shatter which I would like to avoid. Dealing with people who have fragile psyches is always complicated which is something you really have to consider with your friend. Irrational people don't react the way you think they would. Uh life's many complications.
Lol. One does not preclude the other?
Dreaming impossible dreams.
Sapphire is awesome!
Just because it is possible doesn't mean it makes sense.
Peace.
Regardless if the roommate stays/goes, you should have boundaries with any roommate such as locking bedroom doors.
“For God will not permit that we shall know what is to come... those who by some sorcery or by some dream might come to pierce the veil that lies so darkly over all that is before them may serve by just that vision to cause that God should wrench the world from its heading and set it upon another course altogether and then where stands the sorcerer? Where the dreamer and his dream?”
Roommates share the bedroom. Are you confusing it with flatmates/housemates?
If it's not Isuzu-chan Mii~
Not in America. No one shares a bedroom unless you're lovers or live in a single-room dorm.
“For God will not permit that we shall know what is to come... those who by some sorcery or by some dream might come to pierce the veil that lies so darkly over all that is before them may serve by just that vision to cause that God should wrench the world from its heading and set it upon another course altogether and then where stands the sorcerer? Where the dreamer and his dream?”
Ah.
You guys are weird.
In that case.. lock the doors.
If it's not Isuzu-chan Mii~
Wait, doesn't GTFO mean that Uchess himself leaves? I mean, the subject of that sentence is him.
Peace.
I'm not sure why UChess says that talking about the thieving will be bad for his friend's mental state, but it's the best course of action.
If it's not Isuzu-chan Mii~
Roommates live in the same room and suitemates live in the same apartment at my school, but it really depends on how the people in your area decide to categorize it.
-
He should put a lock on his door (immediately) and GTFO (eventually). Why he should GTFO (eventually) on top of locking his door (immediately) is explained below.
-
Because confronting this guy in any way, shape or form will obviously upset him. I come across an emotionally unstable person every now and then and they always blow a gasket every time you point out something questionable they're doing.
But it must be done because letting them emotionally and financially (in UChess's case) depend on you does nothing but sucks you dry. If you do, they have no reason to fix themselves or attempt to strengthen their own psyche because they can just leech off of you to make up for their own deficiencies.
Trust me UChess, this guy doesn't think it's his fault either, and that's part of the problem. Really, letting this guy go and telling it like it is makes the world a better place.
And UChess, if he threatens to hurt you, call the authorities. And this is me, the person who hates the local authorities, telling you this lol. Good luck.
Last edited by Sapphire; Tue, 04-30-2013 at 08:34 AM.
"Leaving hell is not the same as entering it." - Tierce Japhrimel
Got it. The way it was written initially, I thought he should put a lock on then leave, which makes absolutely no sense.
Peace.
UChess may not have the resources to leave immediately. From what he's saying, I'm guessing he is under a lease with either an apartment or a dorm. Both places, he'd have to stay in until the contract runs out.
He probably doesn't live with the crazy guy, so that's nice, but his possessions are still out in the open enough for the girls to go into his room without his consent and for people to steal from him, so he should try to secure his stuff as much as possible by getting a lock (or safe) immediately.
Last edited by Sapphire; Tue, 04-30-2013 at 08:35 AM.
"Leaving hell is not the same as entering it." - Tierce Japhrimel
I'd just report the guy to the police.
I really have trouble understanding Uchess' leniency. I am more inclined to be lenient to strangers when they intentionally try to harm/steal/insult me in any way. People are generally assholes anyway, so it is kind of expected. However, if a "friend" does that to you, I consider it betrayal, and betrayal is probably the worst offense in my book. I'd kill that bastard if I could get away with it.
Peace.
He mentioned that he's taking the guy's mental instability into consideration. It's called empathy and compassion. That should only go so far though. Uchess, you definitely should confront the guy, but also account for his instability before you do. Calling the authorities does you little good after he's already harmed you. It may even be impossible to call them depending on how much he's harmed you. So when you do confront him, have some reassurance in the form of more others waiting very nearby (within view or earshot) yet not participating in the confrontation. They're there to protect you should the guy get violent.
I might be overreacting, but I don't know the guy and can't be sure of just how unstable he is. I'll say that him stealing from you isn't a good sign though. In my experience, if people steal from you, they don't give much of a shit about you. Meaning, they're more likely to be willing to harm you.
"You are not free whose liberty is won by the rigour of other, more righteous souls. Your are merely protected. Your freedom is parasitic, you suck the honourable man dry and offer nothing in return. You who have enjoyed freedom, who have done nothing to earn it, your time has come. This time you will stand alone and fight for yourselves. Now you will pay for your freedom in the currency of honest toil and human blood."
- Inquisitor Czevak
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
