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Thread: The Uwe Boll Thread

  1. Fri, 12-23-2005, 05:45 PM #1
    LobsterMagnet
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    The Uwe Boll Thread

    I think that it's time to discuss one of my favorite film makers of this generation. Quite frankly he is the next centuries Ed Wood but I don't even think that Mr. Wood could have even come close to aspiring the increadible degree of crap that this man has produced. No single individual has failed as badly as him. Just look at his wonderful video game adaptions like "House of the Dead" "Alone in the Dark." Lets not forget the soon-to-be-classic "Blood Rayne" and "Dungeon Siege" movies. If you can track down some trailers for these two new releases and prepare to laugh your assoff. And if you have had the displeasure of seeing mr. Boll's work share your pain. If you havne't gather a bunch a good friends around and prepare to laugh your asses off. For a lover of awful cinema such as myself the work of Mr Boll is pure delight.
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  2. Fri, 12-23-2005, 07:23 PM #2
    Assassin
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    The Uwe Boll Thread

    wait, blood rayne is based on a game....that makes so much sense now. I saw the trailer for it and i was like, "wow, that is such a crappy movie. Its going to suck so much ass". Now i know why.
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  3. Sat, 12-24-2005, 01:06 AM #3
    masamuneehs
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    The Uwe Boll Thread

    your sarcasm tickles my ribs to no avail.

    i just wish they would adapt good video game storylines into movies.

    I'm talking Xenogears, Final Fantasy Tactics, Mega Man, FF6(3).
    Imagine those games being made into a movie, and you shall jizz your drawers.

    Obviously, someone better than Uwe Boll should be left in charge of creating such things.

    Humans are different from animals. We must die for a reason. Now is the time for us to regulate ourselves and reclaim our dignity. The one who holds endless potential and displays his strength and kindness to the world. Only mankind has God, a power that allows us to go above and beyond what we are now, a God that we call "possibility".
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  4. Mon, 01-09-2006, 11:44 PM #4
    Terracosmo
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    The Uwe Boll Thread

    He is fighting for the rights to do a Metal Gear Solid movie. If he succeeds, we can bid mankind farewell.
    CUPCAKES BABY!
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  5. Tue, 01-10-2006, 12:08 AM #5
    LobsterMagnet
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    The Uwe Boll Thread

    Are you fricking serious! Please post the article where you found that because I really hope that your wrong, dead wrong. God no why can't he just stick to C and B level video game franchises. Leave the top tier stuff alone. Grrrrr the idea makes my blood boil. But realistically I don't think he's going to get it. After the craptacular dungean siege his next movie is supposed to be postal.

    Just curious has anyone else seen the dungeon siege trailer. I have and man it is hilarious for all the wrong reasons. Here is a fun article from gamespot reporting on the success of the his most recent movie. http://www.gamespot.com/news/6142096.html
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  6. Wed, 01-11-2006, 04:22 PM #6
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    The Uwe Boll Thread

    Originally posted by: Terracosmo
    He is fighting for the rights to do a Metal Gear Solid movie. If he succeeds, we can bid mankind farewell.
    Agreed. The only person who should ever lay hands on the idea of an MGS movie is the man behind the game himself, Hideo Kojima.
    This fantastic Sousuke sig was made by the one and only Lucifus! Thanks man!
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  7. Fri, 01-13-2006, 12:18 PM #7
    Hakeem_21
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    The Uwe Boll Thread

    Originally posted by: Terracosmo
    He is fighting for the rights to do a Metal Gear Solid movie. If he succeeds, we can bid mankind farewell.


    Coulndt have said it better.

    But there is hope the guy who made Azumi is a close friend of Kojima and there is a rumor that he wants to make MGS movie. If that is true bye bye crappy Boll!!
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  8. Sat, 01-14-2006, 01:44 AM #8
    LobsterMagnet
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    The Uwe Boll Thread

    Just out of curiousity have any of you seen BloodRayne or dled it? It's gonna be an awful movie I just want to know how aweful it is.
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  9. Sat, 01-14-2006, 10:49 AM #9
    masamuneehs
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    The Uwe Boll Thread

    Bloodrayne topic

    Bloodrayne (IMDB page)

    And the reviews are in on Uwe's latest debacle
    "Whatever else you may think of Boll's directorial 'skills,' you can't fault him for inconsistency -- his movies are always atrocious, and Bloodrayne is no exception."
    -- Timothy Knight, REEL.COM

    "Who is Uwe Boll and why does he hate moviegoers so? The German hack, the one-man Blitzkrieg of Bad, is the worst filmmaker in the movies today."
    -- Roger Moore, ORLANDO SENTINEL

    "Uwe Boll is such a bad director that it must be intentional."
    -- Peter Hartlaub, SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE

    My favorite:
    "Less pleasurable than the throbbing bladder pain begat by too much movie theater soda, BloodRayne ably continues Uwe Boll's indisputable reign as the worst filmmaker on the planet."
    -- Nicholas Schager, SLANT MAGAZINE

    Humans are different from animals. We must die for a reason. Now is the time for us to regulate ourselves and reclaim our dignity. The one who holds endless potential and displays his strength and kindness to the world. Only mankind has God, a power that allows us to go above and beyond what we are now, a God that we call "possibility".
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  10. Tue, 01-17-2006, 01:20 AM #10
    LobsterMagnet
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    The Uwe Boll Thread

    I don't know if any of you guys have seen it yet but here it is the beatiful dungean siege trailer. If you haven't you can find a bunch of links on IMDB.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460780/trailers

    There are so many things wrong with this I can't even begin to describe them. First of all the main character is named farmer and he goes off on a quest to save his kidnapped wife from the evil krug who are strangly reminiscent of another group of evil dark creatures from another fantasy film. Then of course you have the prissy elves flying on their great plastic vines. My favorite part is about half-way through the trailer when for no reason what-so-ever ninjas pop up from the ground because you know ninjas make just about everything better. And lets not foget about the gratuitous bullet time at the end. Best part of all is that Mr. Boll has the balls to split this into no one but two god awful movies and releasing them a month apart.
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  11. Mon, 01-30-2006, 06:50 PM #11
    Board of Command
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    The Uwe Boll Thread

    Originally posted by: LobsterMagnet
    I don't know if any of you guys have seen it yet but here it is the beatiful dungean siege trailer. If you haven't you can find a bunch of links on IMDB.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460780/trailers
    Help, my eyes are bleeding!!!
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  12. Tue, 01-31-2006, 10:29 AM #12
    LobsterMagnet
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    The Uwe Boll Thread

    For any of you who are interested here's a video interview where Uwe Boll tries to defend his "art" http://media.filmforce.ign.com...574/574465/vids_1.html

    Interviewers play him as a sympathetic character but stating that there's too much internet based bias towards him. They still scoot around the fact that every movie he's made has been a piece of crap saying that people judge his movies based on reputation alone. I for one have seen his movies and there really is no possible way to even begin to justify them as being anything other then crap but it's fun to watch Mr. Boll writhe around like the little worm he is.
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  13. Tue, 01-31-2006, 07:17 PM #13
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    The Uwe Boll Thread

    Some people should just stop trying. There's a limit to how hard you can try before you finally throw in the towel and say "You know what? I suck."
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