An age-old question regarding the good ol' one night stand

[Lefty]

Originally posted by: Terracosmo

Originally posted by: Lefty
I have to say Terra you get your self into some funny spots sometimes. Go with the old relationship line man, or just do what my dad use to do. Disapear for for a few weeks works perfectly.

I'm all about funny spots. [img][/img]
(Misinterpretions abound)

I feel extreamly dirty by proxy. You truly deserve your title.

[Teh XYZ]

i agree, relationship line is best.

[chambers]

just take her on SHIT dates, like sport matches in the cold, cheap shitty resturants where they dont serve food she likes. get hammerd with your mates and only ever ring her then if you can.

she will be put off you easy

[ChaosK]

....so you get HER to not like YOU....thats creative.

[Uchiha Barles]

Um...yeah, I suggest to just go the honest route on this. Often times though, I know a bunch of people that are pretty chicken shit about being honest, so they just do this thing where they never call, and curt on the phone and in person, and generally unpleasant. They do that until the chick leaves, or until they themselves get pissed off about the situation and blurt out something along along the lines of "goddamn it you dumb bitch! I just wanted to fuck! GET A FUCKING CLUE!". I don't recommend the latter.

[Xollence]

Hehe I think the beginning of 50 First Dates has some really good excuses.

[el_boss]

Originally posted by: chambers
just take her on SHIT dates, like sport matches in the cold, cheap shitty resturants where they dont serve food she likes. get hammerd with your mates and only ever ring her then if you can.

she will be put off you easy

Actually a girl could get more attracted if you treat her this way. As we all know, girls love "bad-boys", even if they don't admit it.

[Mae]

Originally posted by: el_boss

Originally posted by: chambers
just take her on SHIT dates, like sport matches in the cold, cheap shitty resturants where they dont serve food she likes. get hammerd with your mates and only ever ring her then if you can.

she will be put off you easy

Actually a girl could get more attracted if you treat her this way. As we all know, girls love "bad-boys", even if they don't admit it.

Pfffft... whatever. Some girls are unfortunate enough through this phase ("Oh, a rebel, how cool!") But I'd say 90% of them get over it. (Several months and one crappy relationship later: "Ok, that sucked, WTF was I thinking? To hell with rebels.")

And what is up with all this crap about lying to a girl or treating her badly after she was nice enough to have sex with you. I mean, she gave you something good and with no small risk to herself (getting pregnant, getting a disease). You think you'd be, I dunno, grateful or something? Do you want her to think she made a mistake (or, in the case of some of you, let her KNOW that she made a mistake)? I seriously have no respect for people that have to resort to those kind of tricks.

And why do guys insult girls who have sex (skank in this thread, bitch, slut, whore)? Ok, YOU want to have a one night stand. SHE wants to have a one night stand. You get together and have sex. Two people, same thing. If SHE's a skank for doing it, than so are you. And just practically speaking, if you want to have sex with women, but then you insult and mistreat the women that do have sex, then doesn't it follow that less women will want to have sex? If you're having trouble with this logic, this means less sex for you. It's never made sense to me why guys do this, it's like shooting themselves in the foot.

And the main question. Why do guys flip out about this? People, it's a compliment. Take it like one. It means you did a good job. It's like you're a new car, and she took you for a test drive, just for kicks, right? But you impressed her, and now she's asking your price. It's not like the girl wants to have your babies, she's testing the water to see if there's a possibility for more. If there's not, just be honest about it. "I'm not looking for a relationship right now," is fine. Some people do start relationships with one night stands, but most people are smart enough not to expect one.

And, finally, don't be an idiot and use a damn condom. Do you WANT to be a father? Catch something? Give your girl something? Sure she's on the pill, but did she mention she forgot one a week ago and missing just one is enough? And maybe before you she was in only one other relationship, but did THAT guy tell her about all the other girls he had behind her back? And if you've "forgotten" a condom, then do yourself a favor and get tested at the local clinic. Just because you don't have symptoms doesn't mean you don't have anything.

[milfhunter]

Totally agree with Mae on every point. I love it when a woman is brutally honest when men can't be. Just tell your one night stand that you only wanted to have sex with her, and you may want to again, but without any strings attached.

And I always take it as a compliment when a woman wants to tame my lion. Roar.

[masamuneehs]

I think Mae's post should be marked as "The answer" to this thread.
Just about everything in there is as true to life as it gets. Most particularly, I'm glad someone brought up the safe-sex thing. No point cutting your life short just for a couple dozen minutes of unGloved fun.

[Uchiha Barles]

Safe sex...that should be a given. No one having sex should need to be told the dangers of not using a condom. But as far as the approach to dealing with the one night stand thing, yeah, that for sure is the way to go. It just doesn't make sense any other way. If you don't want to be bothered after the one night stand, then why the hell would you take the long way out? Not only is it illogical, it speaks loads of your character, negatively.

[XanBcoo]

I think most of the good advice in this thread has said something along the lines of "just be honest with her." That's as good an answer as any.

And why do guys insult girls who have sex (skank in this thread, bitch, slut, whore)?

Personally I've got no problems with girls who have sex (I don't think most guys do either). I reserve terms like slut and whore for the real skanks. The ones who do nothing but party, get drunk, have sex, cheat on their boyfriends, etc etc, and pretty much have no values whatsoever. I'm just as inclined to call guys who have meaningless sex names as I am for girls, but there aren't very many nasty names for guys like that are there? Makes you think. It's a question I'm sure everyone has heard, why is a guy who has a lot of sex called a "player" (or whatever) and a girl a "slut"? That was never the issue in this thread though, as I think Azazel was only joking.

[el_boss]

Originally posted by: Mae

Originally posted by: el_boss

Originally posted by: chambers
just take her on SHIT dates, like sport matches in the cold, cheap shitty resturants where they dont serve food she likes. get hammerd with your mates and only ever ring her then if you can.
she will be put off you easy

Actually a girl could get more attracted if you treat her this way. As we all know, girls love "bad-boys", even if they don't admit it.

Pfffft... whatever. Some girls are unfortunate enough through this phase ("Oh, a rebel, how cool!") But I'd say 90% of them get over it. (Several months and one crappy relationship later: "Ok, that sucked, WTF was I thinking? To hell with rebels.")

Let me clear out what I meant by this. First of I said "could get more attracted" which means that she also could get less attracted, but that's obviously individual. And second, I never said anything about rebels, rebels can still be wusses around girls. What I meant was that many women like men that aren't "ordinary", maybe Chambers' example is a little to extreme though.

There's actually no idea in discussing this matter with a woman, since almost all women wont actually say or don't know what kind of guy they want. Many women will say bullshit like "I want a nice guy" or something like that, but when one actually shows up they get bored of him and dismiss him. This is big problem for men around the world since we have been programmed since we were kids that we should be nice to girls and such things. This is why women are attracted to men that break out from the social mold. All this is based on natural instincs, men are attracted by looks and women are attracted by personality.

[milfhunter]

Originally posted by: XanBcoo
I reserve terms like slut and whore for the real skanks. The ones who do nothing but party, get drunk, have sex, cheat on their boyfriends, etc etc, and pretty much have no values whatsoever.

But why? They're awesome too. They're usually the only reason I go to parties where I don't know 95% of the people, and they usually cheat on their boyfriends with me so I'm happy. Instead of calling me a "player", you could call me a "manwhore", but then I'd be inclined to call you jealous.

And just because some people are hedonistic doesn't mean that they have no values whatsoever. It just means that drinking vodka, smoking pot, and taking advantage of every opportunity of sex, even in excess, are their values. Heh. But then again, we could argue semantics all day and still get nowhere with our difference of opinions regarding "values" because half the country is divided over abortion, when we should really be worried about a false war and a decaying economy ... not the fallacy of "decaying values".

Originally posted by: el_boss
There's actually no idea in discussing this matter with a woman, since almost all women wont actually say or don't know what kind of guy they want.

I think that if you asked Mae, she'd tell you straight up. But judging by her last post, you could expect an essay. I'd read it, though. I like the points that she makes. It'd probably give you Dr. Phil wannabes some new insight.

[XanBcoo]

Originally posted by: milfhunter

Originally posted by: XanBcoo
I reserve terms like slut and whore for the real skanks. The ones who do nothing but party, get drunk, have sex, cheat on their boyfriends, etc etc, and pretty much have no values whatsoever.

But why? They're awesome too. They're usually the only reason I go to parties where I don't know 95% of the people, and they usually cheat on their boyfriends with me so I'm happy. Instead of calling me a "player", you could call me a "manwhore", but then I'd be inclined to call you jealous.

You're right about one thing, it's useless to argue about our values, which are obviously different. My post was referring specifically to the fact that Mae stated "guys insult girls who have sex." I don't care if you think what I call a slut is awesome or not. I define "slut" by certain terms, one of which is not "girls who want sex". And that last sentence of your's kinda proves my point that any term referring to guys who have a lot of sex can be put into a positive light.

[Uchiha Barles]

Originally posted by: el_boss
There's actually no idea in discussing this matter with a woman, since almost all women wont actually say or don't know what kind of guy they want. Many women will say bullshit like "I want a nice guy" or something like that, but when one actually shows up they get bored of him and dismiss him. This is big problem for men around the world since we have been programmed since we were kids that we should be nice to girls and such things. This is why women are attracted to men that break out from the social mold. All this is based on natural instincs, men are attracted by looks and women are attracted by personality.

What? I know a lot of women that are attracted by personality, but also a lot that are attracted to looks, and quite a few that are attracted to cash. Even within those theres variation. One good looking guy to one girl is as nasty as they come to another. One girl might want a guy because he has an edge to him, he's not easy to walk over, another might want a guy she can talk to, one who'll listen and be the "sweatheart". The generalizations you made have no basis. If anything, the generalization I heard is that men are instinctually attracted to women based on how fit their offspring would be, and women based on how fit the men are, the provision of stability being the measuring guide. But theres so many examples of relationships not following that so called mold that you can barely call it a mold at all. Thus, even that generalization is invalidated. Different people want different things. Consequently its just best not to try to figure out what all girls want.

[milfhunter]

Originally posted by: XanBcoo
I define "slut" by certain terms, one of which is not "girls who want sex".

But isn't that what a slut, by any definition, is? A girl who wants and/or has sex? And because they want it, they get it from pervert-sennins like me? And therefore, have sex, which directly addresses Mae's statement, "guys insult girls who have sex"?

Originally posted by: XanBcoo
And that last sentence of your's kinda proves my point that any term referring to guys who have a lot of sex can be put into a positive light.

Nope, because I'm jealous of sluts too. They get more sex than I do, and if they're professional like escorts or prostitutes, they get paid for it too. Do you know how much Taco Bell (and pussies a.k.a. tacos) I could eat, as a college student, with the kind of money that escorts/prostitutes/porn stars make? Their life basically is sex, food, and sleep after a sweaty, tiring fuck. I'm mighty jealous.

Originally posted by: Uchiha Barles
Consequently its just best not to try to figure out what all girls want.

Werd. Just be happy that you're getting laid, because if you suck at fuck, it still means that you're doing something right.

[XanBcoo]

Ok, now you're just arguing for the sake of it, milfhunter. I pm'd you.

EDIT: I'm not avoiding anything. Check your PMs. I sent you my response but I don't wanna take up space in this topic.

[milfhunter]

I don't argue just for the sake of it. You're just avoiding it. Whatever.

Anyway, to all the girls who have sex out there, rest assured that I am not calling you sluts or think of you as sluts. I only used the word slut in my posts for the purpose of debate. In fact, I encourage that you have sex. It's good for you.

In the eternal words of Kanye West's epic poem Golddigger, "get down girl, go on ahead, get down."

[el_boss]

Originally posted by: Uchiha Barles
What? I know a lot of women that are attracted by personality, but also a lot that are attracted to looks, and quite a few that are attracted to cash. Even within those theres variation. One good looking guy to one girl is as nasty as they come to another. One girl might want a guy because he has an edge to him, he's not easy to walk over, another might want a guy she can talk to, one who'll listen and be the "sweatheart". The generalizations you made have no basis. If anything, the generalization I heard is that men are instinctually attracted to women based on how fit their offspring would be, and women based on how fit the men are, the provision of stability being the measuring guide. But theres so many examples of relationships not following that so called mold that you can barely call it a mold at all. Thus, even that generalization is invalidated. Different people want different things. Consequently its just best not to try to figure out what all girls want.

I don't really get your idea with this post. Are you agreeing with me or arguing against me? Because you have basically repeated what was trying to convey.

What I meant by "men are attracted by looks and women are attracted by personality". Was that men go mostly by apperance when selecting someone to mate with. Whilst women mostly go by how a man acts and basically his personality. This is of course from a biological point of view, obviously there are people that look for other traits. But as for natural instincs this is what humans go after.

If you want proof of social programming you just need to look as this thread. As soon as Mae wrote something all the guys were like "omg that's so right, I agree with everything". Eventhough she actually didn't add anything to the discussion.

No one had even mentioned anything about unsafe sex.

The word skank only appered once, and wasn't even meant to explain a "slut".

She's actually refering to sex as something a woman gives to man if he plays his cards right. That sounds an awful lot like prostitution to me.

And the whole honesty bit had already been brought up like three times.

But this was the best part:

Originally posted by: MaeAnd the main question. Why do guys flip out about this? People, it's a compliment. Take it like one. It means you did a good job. It's like you're a new car, and she took you for a test drive, just for kicks, right? But you impressed her, and now she's asking your price. It's not like the girl wants to have your babies, she's testing the water to see if there's a possibility for more.

This statement makes no sense. You might as well say that the man took the woman for a test drive and didn't like it. It sounds as if you think that all the decisions are up to the woman.

@milfhunter: Who is Dr. Phil?