Rules that guys wish girls knew
1. If you think your fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
3. Do not cut your hair, ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect gift yet again.
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes we are not thinking of you. Live with it.
7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and monster trucks.
8. Sunday = Sports. Its like the full moon or changing of the tides. Let it be.
9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we will never think of it that way.
10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really!
11. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.
12. Crying is blackmail.
13. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
14. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one, subtle hits do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!!
15. No, we don not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calander. Remind us frequently before hand.
16. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be good at choosing which pair (out of thirty) would look good with that dress.
17. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
18. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
19. Check your oil, Please.
20. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an arguement. In fact all comments become null and void after 7 days.
21. If you won't dress like the victoria's secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
22. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one way makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
23. Let us ogle. We are going to anyway, its genetic.
24. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out!
25. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If yyou already know how to do it best, just do it yourself.
26. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
27. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
28. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.
29. All men see in only 16 colors. Peach for example is a fruit not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
30. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
31. We are not mind readers and never will be. Our lack of mind reading ability is not proof of how little we care for you.
and last but not least..........
32. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
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