Really BIG idiots

[Deblas]

I found this in a magazine article about people calling those video game hotlines and ask the dumbest questions and the thing is they're all real. Just goes to show you they're real idiots in this world. Take a look.


I. The Clueless Caller

Counselor: Nintendo hotline how can I help you?
Caller: How do I get the key from the skeleton standing in the pond.
Counselor: Uh, I'm guessing your game is shadowgate?
Caller: Naw, I don't think so.
Counselor: Trust me it's Shadowgate.
Caller: No, I think it's something else.
Counselor: [Fed up with arguing, gives out Shadowgate tip]
Caller: Ok, thanks. I have another game I'm having problems with. Hold on, I'll get it.
Counselor: Actually, the phone lines are really crowded as this is a toll-free number. Maybe you could call back when you have the game?
Caller: No, It's too hard to get through.
Cunselor: I'm sure you understand that we would like to serve everyone.
Caller: Yeah, but never mind. I'll go get the game.

II. The Track Star

Counselor: Thanks for calling Nintendo. How can I help you?
Caller: I just got Track and Field for my Game boy and I think something's wrong with it.
Counselor: What seems to be the problem?
Caller:Well, It's missing the table tennis event.
Counselor: ...
Caller: What do I do?
Counselor: Actually, the Track and Field game doesn't have a table tennis event in it.
Caller: Why not?
Counselor: Well... I think it's called Track and Field because all of the events take place either on a track or a field.
Caller: Oh. Thanks

III. The Math Wiz

Counselor: Nintendo hotline how can I help you?
Caller: In Spyro, how many more fairies do i need to get to have 20 fairies?
Counselor: Well, um, How many fairies do you have now?
Caller: Sixteen
Counselor: Sooo... There's 20 fairies and you only have 16, meaning you neeeeeed...[pauses hoping the caller will figure this out himself.]
Caller: I dunno. You tell me
Counselor: ...
Caller: ...
Counselor: Four. The answer is four fairies.
Caller: Oh. [Click.]

This one is my favorite:

IV. Mr. Clean

Counselor:Thank you for calling Nintendo. How can I help you?
Caller: I think there's something wrong with my Super Nintendo.
Counselor: What seems to be the problem?
Caller: Well, I tried playing it the other night and I couldn't get any of my games to work, so I decided to clean them because I thought they might be dirty.
Counselor: And that didn't work?
Caller: No, In fact I think all of my games are ruined.
Counselor: How did you clean your games?
Caller: I put them in the dishwasher on normal cycle.
Counselor: ...
Caller: Do you think you can fix them?
Counselor: At this point, it may be a good id4ea to upgrade to a newer system. I'd also recommend using a cleaning kit in the future instead of using your dishwasher for your games.
Caller: I wish someone had told me that before.

[Hollow]

o_o Thats like the call all tech support guys hate to get:

Councelor: Tech support; how may I help you?
Woman: My computer isn't working and I've tried everything.
Councelor: What's on the screen?
Woman: nothing! It's just black! And don't ask me to check the connection, It's hooked up to the computer.
Councelor: Is it pluged it ma'am?
Woman:...
Councelor: Ma'am?
Woman: Plugged in? To what?
Councelor: The wall jack.
Woman:...
Woman: *Hangs up*

[Deblas]

haha, thats a good one hollowi/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif

[Hollow]

Isn't it though?

[Winged Dancer]

lol, I can believe they are real. The faries one is specially good.

[Hollow]

Yeah, that fairy one rocks.....and rolls.....separately, but at the same time ....?
If I can remember more I'll post some (I'm the resident tech-guy at my house)

[Uzumaki Naruto]

LMAO, man and i thot that my lil brother was a dumbass, holy shit

[miaka]

man.. this is funny.. lol.. expecially hollow one.. and the last one deblas posted is very good too... ^_^...

can't believe they are real... man...

[Hollow]

People are just dumb. Ever see Jay-walk? Now thats room temperature IQ's....

[Board of Command]

This is the funniest thing I've ever read (http://www.darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid2001-07.html)



People are just dumb. Ever see Jay-walk? Now thats room temperature IQ's....
If you're Canadian, you've probably seen Talking to Americas. Now THAT is stupid.

[Uzumaki Naruto]

it just shows that nowadays people have no commen sense at all. and id bet that most of the callers are blonds are something( no offense to anyone whose blond in here)

[Board of Command]

The thing is, it's hard to tell who's blond and who isn't. Hairdying is way too common nowadays.

[Raven]

The thing about common sense is, it's really not that common.

[Lefty]

It's cuz peopole are so fucking sheltered now adays Or a lot of inbreeding is going on. both of which are good explinations. Here's one form back when I work at blockbuster.

Me: how can i help you mame.
Old Women: yeah. I rented this film last night and was horrfied by the content of the vidoe. I want a refund.
Me: may I see the video so I know which film you are talking about.(hands the video over. "QUILLS") We'll mame if you read the side of the box or looked at the MPPA warning on the side you would know that this film contains alot of adult themes.
Old women: I know but you should warn people befor they rent these things that it's smutt. I mean it's pure smutt.
Me: well mame I can't give you a refund, all I can do is give you a new copy of the film if somthing was wrong with it.
Old women: Well I want a refund because it was such smutt.
Me: Well I can't. If oyu wish for a refund of $4.29 you would need to contact Blockbuster headquarters in houston.
Old women: Washington?
Me: (blank stare, long pause) NO, TEXAS. Houston, TEAXS.

Sufisuve to say three days later she came back and tried to talk to the manger to get a refund for a vidoe she didn't even have then since she had already returned it, to me. the things peole do for $4.29

[Raven]

It used to be that people would do things for themselves. But customer service is evolving to such an extent where people expect everything to be done for them. Even little things. Hence the fact that people are getting stupider and lazier, creating situations like the ones in this thread.

I used to work at a supermarket, and you see people walk in the front doors and immediately walk up to a staff member and ask where something is. DID YOU TRY LOOKING FOR YOURSELF FIRST, YOU LAZY GIT?

[TwisT]

As my view on mankind was not low enough, this comes along.. i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif

Well it did give me a good laugh (not that it's hard to make me laugh, but oh well..)

[NewTaxes]

Originally posted by: Lefty
It's cuz peopole are so fucking sheltered now adays Or a lot of inbreeding is going on. both of which are good explinations. Here's one form back when I work at blockbuster.

Me: how can i help you mame.
Old Women: yeah. I rented this film last night and was horrfied by the content of the vidoe. I want a refund.
Me: may I see the video so I know which film you are talking about.(hands the video over. "QUILLS") We'll mame if you read the side of the box or looked at the MPPA warning on the side you would know that this film contains alot of adult themes.


That is about as far as the security cameras would have recorded. Much respect to anyone who has to deal with this for a profession.

[Shippou-sama]

Originally posted by: NewTaxes
Much respect to anyone who has to deal with this for a profession.

AGREE'D =P

[Eurasian]

i love the mr. clean. seriously, i can't believe that someone actually did that...

[Jman]

omg. these instances are sooo funny. i can't believe the guy would use dishwashing liquid and rofl @the track star. i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif

[Lefty]

You would be surprised that this shit happens on daily if not hourly basis. the world is full of stupid people. God I wish natural selection was still a major factor in daily life.

[Hollow]

Natural selection is still going strong. It's called: "Which Idiot do I select to get run over by my van". The things they say make my brain want to explode.

Q: Has the space needle been in space?

A: Yeah, it's the thing astronauts use to sew, right?

It's a tower/ restaraunt in Seattle. They were stand within visual range too..

Q: When was the war of 1812?

A: The one in WW2?

O_O Just...NO. DIE.

[Lefty]

I have heard that from so many people visting seattle. On the War of 1812 i had a girl in one of my highschool history class ask that question and was compleatly seriouse about. The teacher didn't even answer the question because it was so stupid.

[animefreak]

lol, this shits funny.

[TwisT]

War of 1812?? I'm not american so i dint know what war your talking about.. And what do seattle has to do with it??

I dont really know what war US has at that point in history but, what i do know was that South against north (when they did free the slaves) and then US fighting for independense from england (it could be the same war).. But thats the only thing i know about wars US had in that time period..

So it would be nice if u explained to me exaktly what made the question so stupid.. I want to get it to..

And maybe this makes me just as stupid as them o_O .. Then go ahead and laugh at me.. But plz, in the end explain.. plz i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif

[Rek]

war of 1812 (http://members.tripod.com/~war1812/)

google, I feeel lucky... but if your lazy... basically america pwned canada.....

now, I believe CmDr's post ties into this nicely

It used to be that people would do things for themselves. But customer service is evolving to such an extent where people expect everything to be done for them. Even little things. Hence the fact that people are getting stupider and lazier, creating situations like the ones in this thread.




I used to work at a supermarket, and you see people walk in the front doors and immediately walk up to a staff member and ask where something is. DID YOU TRY LOOKING FOR YOURSELF FIRST, YOU LAZY GIT?

[Shippou-sama]

I'm officially ashamed of myself, and feel that I should be listed as one of these idiots.

Even after reading "I'm not from America" blah blah and knowing that there's no good reason for this person to know about it, I read the post and was like "WTF? How can you not know?"

So basically, while mocking the stupid average American who just assumes the world knows everything about us cuz we're so special, I am one, even though I acknowledge that it doesn't make sense. Congrats to me. =P

Although admittedly, Google does answer most questions . . .

[TwisT]

Ok i have alot and the only thing i get is that thy had an war.. an if u think im going to read that much your crazy.. i read half of what was on the Introduction.. after that i just searched for seattle but it was nothing about it there.. so i still dont know what was so stupid about it and what seattle had to do with it..

And BTW.. me and google are not friends anymore.. Latley when i search i only get german or Chinese sites.. And i'm nether of it.. And it's only suposed to find swedish and english sites i/expressions/rolleye.gif

*EDIT*

Shippou-sama: hahaha ^^

Well actually i did not even know about that independence war.. If had not seen the movie The Patriot (i think thats the name since its a direct translation of the swedish title) with Mel Gibson, i still would have thouth that ppl just went to america and colonised it made it america.. Not that they had to fight for the independense..

I dont know if it's just me that have forgot about it but i can remember anything in history that involves USA.. Sure you get a little basic info about the slavery and that was but not that much.. It's only never things like WW1&2 and vietnam.. And Nam we only get a little basic info on to.. I think you have to do a resersh project about USA to even be able to learn things that is history.. Maybe it was only me that was asleep or something i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif

[basey44]

man how could u not have know they had to fight the british, im not even from america and i know that i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif
i get a lot more information than u it seems cos ive know this stuff for as long as i can remember

[KitKat]

Originally posted by: Konoha Rek
war of 1812 (http://members.tripod.com/~war1812/)

google, I feeel lucky... but if your lazy... basically america pwned canada.....



Rek, I don't know what kind of history they teach you in the US, but apparently it doesn't reflect historical fact. Here is the accurate summary of the War of 1812:

America decides they want to conquer Canada.
War follows.
America fails.

If you don't believe me, here is a quote from the website that you googled

"If any one could claim victory it was Canada. The United States declared war on Great Britain and set out to make Canada states in the union. Ten American armies crossed into Canada and all were driven out."

And a bunch of Canadians/British went to Washington and burned down the White House too. So, I'd just like to say that Canada pwned America i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif

[chambers]

yeah i had an argument with an american once who said theyve never lost a war. i wasnt aware fo this war (they dont teach it in the UK) but the guy was actually trying to argue that the US won the vientnam war.........o_0

[jing]

IN A WAR, THERE IS NO WINNNERS.

[chambers]

touche

[Assertn]

darwin awards are great......i think the best one i read once was about a man who tried to kill himself

he stood at the edge of a cliff, with a noose around his neck, a gun in his hand, and poison.
apparently this guy REALLY wanted to make sure he'd kill himself.

he drank the poison, and then jumped off the cliff. He tried to shoot himself, but missed and hit the rope instead, cutting the noose before it strangled him.
Then he proceeded to fall down into the water below, where the impact caused him to throw up the poison.
Then medics later arrived to pick him up and take him to the hospital, where he later died of pneumonia or hypothermia or something like that

[Shippou-sama]

BEST. SUICIDE. EVER!!! XD

And yeah, the public school system sucks enough that most kids don't acutally learn our history, we learn a few basic opinions that should get us through life. >_<

For instance, a kid IN MY GRADUATING CLASS was unaware of the Vietnam War, and thought that the Cold War was against Korea.

Admittedly, the worst ever was a friend of mine in Florida. Somehow, the school got away teaching that the South won the Civil War (fought between the North and South in the 1860's, btw). Now, this only leaves me with one question: If the South won the war, why do States' rights take a backseat to Federal Law?? I mean, that was kinda the point of the war . . .

Yeah, I hate stupid people. =P

[Board of Command]

Originally posted by: AssertnFailure
darwin awards are great......i think the best one i read once was about a man who tried to kill himself

he stood at the edge of a cliff, with a noose around his neck, a gun in his hand, and poison.
apparently this guy REALLY wanted to make sure he'd kill himself.

he drank the poison, and then jumped off the cliff. He tried to shoot himself, but missed and hit the rope instead, cutting the noose before it strangled him.
Then he proceeded to fall down into the water below, where the impact caused him to throw up the poison.
Then medics later arrived to pick him up and take him to the hospital, where he later died of pneumonia or hypothermia or something like that
Haven't read this one yet, but it sounds great.

[chambers]

wow i have this book. i got it for xmas last year, but i havent even touched it yet.

[KameronFrye]

My ex bought me a Darwin Awards book for Christmas last year, good shit.

I've worked in retail for a good 6 years now, and there are some stupid people that do some stupid things. I'll skip the basic angst-ridden individuals, pissed over the basic retail things and go for gold:

I once had a guy come in to Suncoast, I was an assistant manager. Remember those commercials they had, boasting the individual that knew everything about any movie without you saying the title? Yeah, that was myself and compadre Josh.

Random Cracker: I'm lookin' fer this movuh... 'bout a jail break 'n a plane.

Me: It could be either Turbulence or Con Air, if it's fairly recent.

RC: Mmm-nah, don't thank so. M'this'n movie had that John Cusack guy n'-

Me: Con Air, the movie is Con Air.

RC: I said it ain't that'n, let me finnush. It had that John Cusack guy n' that guy from Beein John Milkawitch.

Me: Sir, that is John Malkovich.

RC: YUH! He wuz John Malkovich in that movie... y'know it?

Me: Yeah, the actor's name is John Malkovich. He played himself in the movie, sir.

RC: Now that's just sum bullsheeit you movie peoples say. I don't know his name, but him'n that Cusack guy were in a movie about an airplane and a jail break.

Me: Again, sir, Con Air. Here's the box. *points to the name John Malkovich on the back of the DVD

RC: F**k you, I'm a workin' man, I ain't gotta stand for this!

That's probably one of my gems right there. What irks me is the fact that this trailer jockey comes in looking for Con Air, which is a typical fanfare action, but has somehow managed to watch Being John Malkovich without realizing that John plays himself in the movie. This isn't a movie elitist kind of thing, it's just that... he's a cracker. This movie is not cracker fanfare, y'know?

*shrug* The mysteries of the retail world...

[Board of Command]

See? This is what nukes are truly for. Nuke a city, and chances are you'll hit some idiots.

[Jakins]

Retail jobs are diabolicol. I used to work in an off-licence (that'd be liquor store to americans) and we only got the best quality customers there! We had nicknames for some of the better ones, i.e. Granny Pissflaps, Flakey Ian...Believe me you really don't want to know why we named them so!
And the worse ones always think you're some kind of social worker put a their diposal to chat shit (to a rather smelly person)
or
give you shit instead

[TruthofMistake]

lol i love the mister clean one i spit coke all over my computer screen after i read that.... pertaining to the darwin awards read the sexual ones they are the worst and as such the funniest

(February 2001, Connecticut) A woman arrested on a drunken driving charge made an odd choice when calling a for a ride home. Sandra called on Mike, her drinking companion prior to her arrest, who was visibly drunk when he staggered into police headquarters.

Mike failed a sobriety test. More surprisingly, a routine background check revealed that Sandra had previously obtained a restraining order against him. Sgt. Alan Fournier said, "We can't allow him to come into contact with her, even if she says it's okay." Mike was charged with violating a restraining order and driving while intoxicated.

heres a funny not sexual one though

[The Russian Mob]

yeah i had an argument with an american once who said theyve never lost a war. i wasnt aware fo this war (they dont teach it in the UK) but the guy was actually trying to argue that the US won the vientnam war.........o_0


Chambers, I don't know what they teach in the UK but as far as I know there was never a Vietnam <u>war</u>, because unless Congress declares war it can't really be considered one. i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif

[Shippou-sama]

. . . . . . . . . Then the person was arguing that the US won the Vietnam " Series of hostile military exchanges" that are more commonly referred to (in official and unofficial media) as the Vietnam War.

-_-;;

[Board of Command]

Originally posted by: The Russian Mob
Chambers, I don't know what they teach in the UK but as far as I know there was never a Vietnam <u>war</u>, because unless Congress declares war it can't really be considered one.
If it's not a war then what is it? A series of battles? 2 politically different nations exchanging gunfire? People getting shot in the jungle? US napalming territory that don't belong to them? It doesn't have to be specifically declared as a war to be believed as a war.

Nice job on your first post, you just put yourself in the list of idiots.

[empT3]

Technically, it was a police action. In real life however, it was the vietnam war.

[The Russian Mob]

All right if you want to argue that you could win the Vietnam police action, then what do you consider winning? As far as I know the U.S. got involved in Vietnam to prevent the spread of Communism and at the end of the "war" South Vietnam was not communist, it wasn't until two years after the cease fire agreement that South Vietnam became Communist. That seems an aweful lot like winning to me?

Board, I know Vietnam was basically a war, as is defined by a dictionary, but there are political differences between a real war and a "police action" which seperate the two.

[PSJ]

i love the mr clean one and the math wiz. cleaning a snes game is quite easy, just blow awy the dust i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif even i could figure that out at age 7....... and that guy with the saw well i cant really put it in worss, end his misery by shooting himself in the head with a nailgun? stupid idiot.

[Raven]

Originally posted by: Pervert-Sennin Jiraiya
cleaning a snes game is quite easy, just blow awy the dust
Actually that fixes it temporarily, but does more damage in the long run, significantly shortening the life of the cart. Thank God for the CD/DVD age.

[PSJ]

lol okay didnt know that but at least i found a way to clean it i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif didnt really care either since i was 7 i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif and yesthank god for the cd and dvd age i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif

[Board of Command]

Originally posted by: CmDr_RavEn


Originally posted by: Pervert-Sennin Jiraiya
cleaning a snes game is quite easy, just blow awy the dust
Actually that fixes it temporarily, but does more damage in the long run, significantly shortening the life of the cart. Thank God for the CD/DVD age.
SNES would become obsolete by the time the cartridge dies.

[Raven]

Yes but people continue to play it even after so many years, and if you want to preserve your carts then blowing on them is not the way to do it.

[Assertn]

Originally posted by: BOARD_of_command
Nice job on your first post, you just put yourself in the list of idiots.

for what? being politically correct?

[Board of Command]

Originally posted by: CmDr_RavEn
Yes but people continue to play it even after so many years, and if you want to preserve your carts then blowing on them is not the way to do it.
Sucks then if those cartridges are so fragile. That's why I prefer emulation.i/expressions/face-icon-small-cool.gif

[Shippou-sama]

Originally posted by: AssertnFailure


Originally posted by: BOARD_of_command
Nice job on your first post, you just put yourself in the list of idiots.

for what? being politically correct?

I don't think that really counts as being PC, it's much closer to nit-picking about something that really doesn't matter. Whether you call it a war or a "police action," it doesn't change the events or the outcome.

And to the russian mob, nobody argued with you that they lost the war (or "police action"). All anyone said was that it's commonly known as a war because it might as well have been (and was, in fact, an abuse of Presidential power to wage war without the approval of Congress). But thanks for trying to convince us of something that was never contested. It helps . . . somehow. =P

(Out of curiousity, Mob, do you write a letter to any news programs, documentaries, public speakers, or the writers of History textbooks that refer to the "police action" as the Vietnam War to inform them that Congress did not in fact declare war, and it wasn't TECHNICALLY a war?)

[Assertn]

being politically correct pretty much ALWAYS makes you a nit picker

[Shippou-sama]

But being PC is more about not offending anyone. Calling it the Vietnam War doesn't offend anyone, it's just not technically correct. If anything, calling it the Vietnam Police Action could be considered offensive for anyone who fought in it (I really don't care, just making a point).

I'm really not trying to cause problems, but there is a significant difference in this case. =\

[PSJ]

how can it be a police action when its one nation attacking another nation. if it is called a police action then do you consider U.S the world police? cuase they.re not tho sometimes they act like it.

[Assertn]

Originally posted by: Shippou-sama
But being PC is more about not offending anyone. Calling it the Vietnam War doesn't offend anyone, it's just not technically correct. If anything, calling it the Vietnam Police Action could be considered offensive for anyone who fought in it (I really don't care, just making a point).

I'm really not trying to cause problems, but there is a significant difference in this case. =\

oh ok champ
so you're saying that political correctness is the selective choice of words used by people in formal positions to minimize misconceptions and negative feedback from a large audience right?

oh my, i see the significant difference that could confuse you enough to require you to hypocritically nit pick my original statement.

[Assassin]

ladies, plz....enuff bickering


lets just get back to posting stupid stuff....well stupid stuff that other ppl do.

[Board of Command]

Haha, like Goatse?

no I'm just kidding

here's a funny one I found
http://www.darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid1999-14.html

[Assassin]

You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles

LOL!!!

but im more suprised that he could come up with a witty comback in that situation :



'A pumpkin? Damn, is it midnight already?'

[Wilik]

http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html
My all time favorite computer operator jokes, check it out, theres alot to read but VERY funny

[Shippou-sama]

*sigh*

Jeez you guys love a good argument. -_-;;

Okay, let's see. On the one hand, you have a person correcting something based on fact (correcting chambers). On the other hand, you have people censoring themselves to avoid any potential faux pas. Yup, that sounds anything alike? 0.o

And I'm not a hypocrit. I never said that nit-picking was evil, nor did I directly say that it shouldn't be done. I said it's not the same as being PC.

@ PSJ: Hmm. Well, that's actually a difficult question. Do I think their actions are those of a policing nation? Yes. Do I think they have the right? Not necessarily. Do I care either way? I hate to admit it, but no, not really. =\

But back on topic: Freaking wow. I was at a friend's house. The house has a fireplace in the living room. His mother decided to light a fire, since it was a little cold, and we were all sitting and talking anyway. Awhile later, my friend's sister and her friend come in. The sister's friend reaches her hand into the fire and says "*#$@! That's a real fire!!" The father said, "Yeah, what did you expect?" "I dunno, but it's hot." You heard it here first, folks. Fire is hot.

[Hollow]

LMAO.

I had a similar experience. My stupid friends, who I bet play Zelda (not dissing Zelda in ANY WAY), thought that BLUE FIRE = COLD. In fact, it's quite the opposite.

[Board of Command]

Not necessarily, it mostly depends on the fuel. Gas is usually blue and wood is usually orange. Coal is orange and it's hotter than gas. The color spectrum mostly applies to extreme temperatures.

But thinking that ANY kind of fire is cold is stupid.

[Death BOO Z]

since i'm still at highschool, i don't have any customer service quates, but i have a few lines that some of my girls in my class said.

1. Teacher: this exam is also a test of your intellgence.
Student: that's not fair!

2. Teacher #2: you'll have to show thay you've got general knowledge.
Student #2: General knowledge? what's that? where do you learn it?

3. Student #3: what's a plus?
Teacher #3: it's addition.

true stories, less than two weeks old (#3 is from yesterday), they sound better in hebrew, but the messge is still clear, isn't it?

[Board of Command]

That's just sad. I've heard them before as well.

This one from chemistry

girl: why does helium have 2 valence electrons?
teacher: because helium only has 2 electrons total
students: (point and laugh)

[Assassin]

furhter proof that men will do ANYTHING for sex:



13 May 1998, New Jersey) There's apparently not much to do in Long Branch during the long May evenings. A 51-year-old man decided to satisfy his fantasy of robotic love by seeking sexual gratification with his vacuum cleaner. Most men would think twice before poking a valuable organ into a vacuum, but this optimistic fellow had no qualms about the safety of his intended course of action. And using a vacuum cleaner had the appealing aspect of tidying up his mess after satisfying him.
Our horny hero didn't realize that the suction on his hand-held Singer A-6 was created by a blade whirling just beneath the hose attachment, adjacent to the collection bag. His search for pleasure was cut short seconds after he stuck his penis into the vacuum and the blade lopped off part of his penis. With a sense of loss, he staggered to the phone and called police. He told them that he had been stabbed in his sleep. When police pointed out suspicious evidence, the victim claimed not to remember the incident.

Surgeons at Monmouth Medical Center stopped the bleeding, but were unable to reattach the 1/2" severed part. Though this man is still alive, his ability to reproduce has been curtailed by both his injury and his proclivity for household appliances


And....



A man walked into a Circle-K in Louisiana, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer was $15. Question: if someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?

[Board of Command]

More Darwins...Makes you wonder how stupid people on Earth can get.

[Deblas]

Im glad that you all liked it. feel free to put odd stories that you find(like you haven't been doing since i started this thread i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif) cause everyone needs a good laugh from time to time

[Board of Command]

(January 2002, Croatia) A Croatian was killed while trying to open a hand grenade with a chainsaw. He wanted to retrieve the explosive to make firecrackers for the New Years holiday.



(1982, Texas) At the Amarillo Fairgrounds, some buildings were in need of a coat of paint, so local contractors were hired to do the job.
Between the buildings was an angled alley with a culvert in the middle, designed to drain rainwater away from the buildings. Because of the slope, the wheeled painter scaffolding tended to roll downhill, so the painters removed the wheels on the scaffolding. They were in the process of moving the scaffolding next to a building, when the metal structure met a transformer. The painters were killed.

The story made the headlines. The town was abuzz with talk of the tragedy, how it had come to pass, and whether the city was liable for damages. The city officials decided they needed to conduct an investigation.

With much fanfare, they arrived at the scene of the incident, prepared to personally recreate the circumstances. Two officials grabbed the scaffolding in the exact same location as the two painters, began to move the scaffolding... and were promptly electrocuted.

[Deblas]

I decided to revive this so people could get a good laugh

[Zoels]

thanks for doing so =) i especially liked the first thing you posted about the counting guy.

[Death BOO Z]

here are two new quotes from the stupid girls in my school.

1. "what does sexsual intercourse mean?"
after reading the 'disclaimer' in a blood donation event.
(it was coming from an 18 years old girl)

2. girl "what's work payment?"
Teacher : "it's wages"

they both sound much better in hebrew, but the idioticy is still clear...