Dedicated to Family Guy

[ad4mz41]

Family Guy haha. This has got to be one of the greatest shows on Earth. Haha I just remembered a funny moment by Peter Griffin:

Business Man: Your family has just won a boat! Or... you can get the mystery box!
Peter: OOO a mystery box!
Lois: Peter, are you crazy...
Peter: Now wait a minute. A boats a boat, but a box can be anything... it could even be a boat! You know how much we always wanted one of those.
Lois: We'll take the boa...
Peter: We'll take the box!
*Minutes later in the car*
Lois: Nooo, we'll take the box. A box with tickets to a crappy concert!
Peter: Oh com' on Lois, you act like this is the stupidest thing I've ever done... remember that time we could've gotten a boat?
*Replays the scene where he denies the boat and gets the mysterious box*
Lois: Peter that just happened!

Another one I can remember:
Lois: Peter, sometimes I think your such a child.
Peter: Well if I'm a child, that would make you a pedophile!

And as a side poll: Whos fatter, Homer Simpson or Petter Griffin?
I say Homer Simpson..?

[sangai]

ohhh

stewie: Damn
stewie:what the dues
stewie:well brocolli mother says your good for me, well i got news for you IM NOT GOOD FOR YOU "DIE"

there was one where stewie is having a dream about killing mister rodgers and destroying make believe lane or something like that

can't rember what he says

and peter griffon is fatter

[Swallow Your Soul]

Peter Griffin is definitely fatter - just look at all the fat in his face!

Cleveland and Quagmire rock in Family Guy, and Joe should join a heavy metal band i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif (AWWWRIGHT! BRING IT ONNNNNN!!!)

For some reason I can't think of any cool quotes from it at the moment...but any scenes which involve a whisky bottle being thrown at someone is always funny i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif

Its good to hear FG is coming back in a year or two, that should never have been cancelled (I know Fox is an American channel but it seems to me like that station is run by a right bunch of cunts....I heard they cancelled Futurama and put Banzai on the air around the same time! Whether thats true or not, they cancelled two of the best shows there was...they decided to bring back FG because of high DVD sales so why not Futurama? Their DVDs sell shitloads!)

[lionheart1012000]

the only cool quote...well it seems cool to me is this one:
Stewie: Damn you woman!

[r3n]

quagmire has a 1 night stand chick in his bed, he walks into the room in his dressing gown, its the morning after.

1 night stand chick: mark honey, can i ask you a question? what do you do for a living?

quagmire: hey, can i ask you a question? what are you still doing here!

[HimizujinEternia]

Black Knight: What's YOUR fat ass doing here?
Random Minstrel on a fat donkey: He's my only means of conveyance! But I guess I do spoil him...


Stewie: Well mother, you know how they say life is like a box of chocolates? Well, for you it would be more like a box of ONE DOZEN LIVE HAND GRENADES!


Chris: They even have games in the bathrooms! I WON A BALLOON!

[Gods_Son]

Peter: Oh, you people can kiss the fattest part of my ass

[anime050]

Peter: You know lois
Peter: I always thought..
Peter: Dogs...
Peter: Laid eggs!
Peter: And I learned something today.

i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif

[sangai]

qaugmire:gigideee gigideeee
quagmire:hey meg 18 teen yet
the black guy(jo): Peter your what the spanyards call "el trouleble"
peter: Damn leafers
brian:got coke (coke head's laugh)
peter: Dear god chris what the hell happened to your leg, wait a minute thats not your leg

im gonna go whatch the dvd's when i get home i went and bought them
there so great

one of the best episodes is im peter hear me roar
he makes stewie suck on his nipple
there is three seasons and 7 disk's in total i think can't remember

[lionheart1012000]

omg...i never saw that one...damn now i wanna buy those dvds

[ad4mz41]

Haha oh yeah I remember that episode. Its where he turns all feminine and girly because he used to be an insensitive sexist.

[sangai]

yeah the look on stewies face made me laugh for a like an hour

or yeah and cheezy charlies aka the man in white i will go home and make a list of the episode names

and then post them

now back to qoutes

[ad4mz41]

Anyone know where you can download these off BT?

[Everon]

Lois: Hey Quagmire I need to borrow your car.
Quagmire: Ok, just give me a sec...
(his hand goes "downstairs" for a while to find them)
Quagmire: oh here they are.

Lois: Peter, sometimes I think your such a child.
Peter: Well if I'm a child, that would make you a pedophile, and I will not stand here listening to a pedophile.

Stewie: Oh no what ever shall I do? Help Help
*comes from behind tree with bazooka*
Dog: What the hell?
Stewie: Now is the winter of your discontent!

Quagmire: Hey Peter does this look like a "Q" to you?
Peter: Sorry Quagmire, but everything just looks like lois to me.

Peter: Ahhh thhhh Ahhh thhhhhhh Ahhhhhh Athhhhhhh Ahhh thhhhh....

Quagmire: The hansons.
Peter: Ah, you do know the Hansons are men.
Quagmire: Ah hahaha good one.
...
...
Quagmire: Your joking right?
...
...
Quagmire: Oh god, Oh god, I have all these pictures!

Peter: Oh I hate spiders.
Flashback to a theater.
Spider smoking a cigarette: DON'T GO IN THERE!
Lois: Peter say something...
Peter: Oh I'll say something I'll say something alright...
Spider: Ah oh. I TOLD YOU!
Peter: Alright give me your napkin.
Smushes the spider.


Cliffton: Aww, thats Nasty.


I got a million of em.

[Swallow Your Soul]

The Chicken Fight! The length that scene goes into is well good...

Stewie: Lois, as *some famous guy in history* would say, "I'm... going to kill you!"

Stewie: But no sprinkles! For each sprinkle I shall kill you!

The scene where Peter goes to some place to organise Stewies 1st birthday but he tries to basically haggle with the guy and loses the appointment, then he tells the story to Lois is well good...where he turns into the incredible hulk i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif

All the stuff with William Shatner and the poses are all cool too...

[Raven]

I've only seen it once, but that Y2K episode, Peter eats a year's worth of food in a year:

*Instantly swells up like a balloon*

Peter: Everyone leave. I have to poop. NOW!

[Tofu #2]

Peter: Ahhh thhhh Ahhh thhhhhhh Ahhhhhh Athhhhhhh Ahhh thhhhh....



lol, is that the one where Peter like trips on the sidewalk, and holds his knee?? that is so damn annoying, waste of time...and they do it twice in the ep.

[Raven]

Originally posted by: Swallow Your Soul
The Chicken Fight! The length that scene goes into is well good....
Oh yes! Forgot about that! That scene made me cry with laughter for so long... I had to pause the dvd because I couldn't stop laughing. It went on for so long!

[sangai]

what episode was that

and also another good qoute from "the thin white line"

meg:wow brian did you lose weight how did you do it
brian:heres some advice PUT DOWN THE FORK

[ad4mz41]

Episode where Peter Griffin becomes president for the El Dorado cigarrette company.

Man: You now get a new parking space.
Peter: That looks exactly like my old one.
Man: Yeah but this one comes with your own company suck-up!
Suck-up: Mornin' Mr. Griffin nice day!
Peter: Eh its a little cloudy.
Suck-up: It's absolutely cloudy one of the worst days I've seen in years. So good news about the Yankees?
Peter: I hate the Yankees.
Suck-up: Pack of cheaters is what they are. I love your tie.
Peter: I hate this tie.
Suck-up: Its awful its gotta. Its gotta go.
Peter: ... and I hate myself.
Suck-up: I hate you too you make me sick you fat sack of crap.
Peter: But I'm the president...
Suck-up: The best there is.
Peter: But you just said you hated me.
Suck-up: But...not...you...the..president...you...who...sai d...you....hated...you...you...you...who...love hate...Yankees...clouds...*KABOOM head pops off*
Man: Uh I'll have that fixed for you tommorow sir.

I think I got it right...

[sangai]

peter:hey chris pull my finger this is gonna be fricken hillarious
peter:these are our demands
luke perry:luke perry is gay
the mayor:are you gonna tell me who is stealing my water (pours water into plant basin) see look there taking it

[Trip]

In the episode where they get the russian car:

Car: In soviet Russia, the road forks YOU!

or the star wars lazer eye surgery:

Obi: Use the Force Luke!
Luke: Do I have to?
*luke uses the force to guide the light saber, with bad results*
Luke: Are you happy now!?!
Obi: I'm never happy

that made me laugh so much i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif

or the one where peter remembers about a road trip:

*You see road runner standing in the middle of the road*
*car runs over road runner*
*cut to peter in the car*
Peter: Oh my god, did i just hit that bird?
Coyote: No, you didn't hit anything, just keep going.

classics i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif

[animeniac]

*Peter is watching tv and stroking his chin*
Peter: Hey! what are these doing here!? *pulls off his ass chin puts it in his pants*

[ad4mz41]

El Dorado cigarette company episode

Senator: You've been sued for 100 million dollars.
El Dorado Businessman: 100 million dollars!? But that will backrupt us!
Peter: Oh, like the way you morally bankrupted our society?
hahahaha.
*whispers to script writers at the side*
Peter: That was a good one, now give me a line to get out on.
Script writers: Actually, our lunch is up.
Peter:..................Well, thats my mama! hehehehehe *does his little laugh thingy*

Judge: Peter you have been sentenced to jail!
Lois: Oh no!
Chris: Oh no!
Meg: Oh no!
Brian: Oh no!
Stewie: Oh no!
*Kool-aid mascot jumps through the wall*
Kool-aid guy: OH YEAH!!!
Everyone:...........
*Kool-aid guy silently walks back out the building*

[complich8]

SMOOOKE
(not now jerry)

family guy is a goldmine of references. Seriously, you have no idea, this thread could go to 300+ posts if it were me, my roommate, and two other buddies of ours throwing around references...

they're more fun in casual conversation though.
l"What can I do about it?" "Nothing at all." "I guess.... I'll just have to grow a sense of humor then."

finding useful places to tie family guy, simpsons, south park and maybe futurama into your daily life makes them just that much more fun. Or maybe makes life just that much more fun, I dunno.

[Xollence]

The funniest part was when they show Hitler in the weight lifting room and then this huge Jewish guy lifting next to him.

[sangai]

episode "the man in white"

cheesy charlie man: hai hitlaaar
louis:me likey bread sticks me licky bread sticks
olsen twin as brian: whos leg you gotto hump to get a dry martini
olsen twin as stewiei/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gifamn, damn you all

[Koyuki]

Look in my sig.

Off-topic:
Peter is making a toy it's a cucumber man. It looks like a dildo/horny mexican.
If you remember the episode, please post the title!

[ad4mz41]

Hahaha I remember that episode. Its episode 207 called The King is Dead.

Tom Tuckett: Now for our crazywacky weather forecaster... Ron!
Ron: ITS GON' RAIN!
Tom Tucket: Thank you Ron...

Haha does anyone remember the Osama Bin Laden bit where he tries to get by security in the airport by singing a showtune, haha that episode is funny.

[Haku no Fuyu]

Lois: You should spend some time with our kids, Peter. And with me.
Peter: Uh, what could me and you do together? [Lois giggles]
Peter : Lois! You've got a sick mind!
Lois : Peter, I'm talking about making love.
Peter : Oh. I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.

[Koyuki]

Hhehe. Yeah I remember that! It's banned from tv because of sep. 11. Sad thing

[Xollence]

It's not banned from TV, well maybe from network tv, but you can still find it on cartoon network or comedy central, forget which one it was.

[lionheart1012000]

cartoon network has it now.

[Jman]

don't forget to look out for the Family Guy Movie Coming Soon.

Peter upon seeing neighbor in wheelchair.
"Holy crip, he's a crapple"

and one of the funniest moments ever
"I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life. [Lois knocks Peter unconscious.] I awoke several hours later in a daze."

- Peter Griffin, narrating his own life out loud.

LMAO.

[sangai]

you guys did here that there bringing back ther series in 2005

yeah new episodes

mainly this is because of how well the dvd's sold

was this already mentioned

[Swallow Your Soul]

Yup, but it can't hurt to say it again i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif

I can't wait for the new series but its gonna be ages before it comes out i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif

[Jman]

true, but until then we have the movie to look forward to since it should be out sooner than the series.
I wonder what trouble Stewie will get into in the movie.

[sangai]

watched one last night
peters wifes dad: hey brian you feel the heat coming off of her genetalia, you could roast a marshmello


i gotta go watch more, more damnt more

can wait for the movie

[Mut]

lady: what is your name!
peter: uhh...uhh... (trying to think of a fake name)
*peter sees someone eating a pea*
peter: pea...
*looks around and sees someone crying*
peter: ...tear...
*a griffin flys by*
peter: ...griffin...yeah, pea-tear griffin.

LOL

[ad4mz41]

HAHA I was going to mention that one. It's so funny hahaha.

*Peter in the backyard ready to cute a BIG birthday cake. While cutting half way through a stripper runs out of it with a knife in her head.*
Stripper: AHHHH AHHHHHHHHH!!!! *runs around hysterically*
Peter: OH GOD! OH GOD!... It's coconut!

hahaha

[Banned!]

there was an ep were Peter and Lois went to a counciler and the counciler told them that they should be seperated for like a week or somethin' and Lois goes out with Quagmire and when there going to go into the car Quagmire has a jacket and one end of the sleve is going into his pants and he tells Lois that its cold and that she should put on a jacket and she's like im fine Quagmire and he's like insisting for her to put on the jacket and if she did put on his jacket she would've touched his C**K LOL that was hailorious and Peter went out with Jennifer Love Hewitt and he was like he didnt care and Jennifer Love Hewitt saw how much Peter was a pig and she loved it and she like put Peter on the table in the restaraunt and Lois and Quagmire were there 2 and Lois came and called Jennifer Love Hewitt a bitch or ho somethin' and they started fighting that was hailrous LOL

[Tachikoma]

Have they only made 3 seasons of Family Guy? I've got them all on DVD, and I want more! More, damn you woman!

And the fact that it's better than the Simpsons is nice i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif.


And a classic line from Family Guy, from 'Death Lives':

Peter is meeting Lois' father for the first time...

Lois: I hope you're not nervous about meeting my father.
Peter: Don't worry, you'll know if I'm nervous.
Lois' Father: Lois!
Peter: *farts* Now!

Gets me in stitches every time i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif


Note: just found the post saying it's coming back in 2005. That's what happens when you skip to the latest post.

[sangai]

oh what episode is it

lois becomes all manly and she grabs peters crotch

louis:THIS IS MINE, THIS IS MINE
peter: uh hey uh lois
louis:THIS IS WHERE MY BABYS COME FROM

[PaD]

The girl comes home (don't remember her name)
Girl: ''I have no friends and it's because of this purse!"
*Shows a blue purse*
Peter comes running, takes the purse and starts poking at it
Peter:'' What did you do to my daughter?! I swear to God if you've touched her!"

[ad4mz41]

Brian: Face it Peter your a terrible liar.
*Scene switches to the Wonka Factory*
Willy Wonka: Are you sure you didn't eat anything in my factory.
Peter: [looks like a big fat blue ball] Yes.
Willy Wonka: Are you....
Peter: Hey screw you wonka!


Jewish Financial Planner: Sir, this contract shows no sign of real insurance. It just says volcano insurance, volcano insurance, volcano insurance over again. And at the bottom it says hes signing it, hes signing it, i cant believe hes signing it.


*the ep where Peter accidentally gives away all the family's christmas gifts and tries to get them back from the Hillbillys*
Peter: Oh no its a misunderstanding. Those gifts were suppose to be for my family. And that is my VCR.
*Two hillbillies fight over the VCR*
Hillbilly #1: Dammit its my turn to use the sexbox.
Hillbilly #2: No its mine. And her name is Sony.


I think i got the wording right...

[Jman]

funny parts:
when Stewie sings Rocketman.

Peter's rendition of "Can't touch this".

Ja...Ja...Ja Just like the bad guy from Lethal Weapon 2
I got diplomatic immunity so hammer you can't sue.

lol


The one where Peter wants to be a woman so he breast feeds Stewie.

Episode "Da Boom" entire thing was simply hilarious

When Peter declares himself on a hunger strike in "Gumbel 2 Gumbel" and he says "Are you gonna eat that stapler???..........Wanna split it?"

In "Fifteen minutes of shame" where they appear on the talk show and before hand they have the man, who's actually a woman, who's actually a horse, who's actually a broom.

My favorite one was where Stewie gets taken away for being a crack baby by social services... Stewie then goes and lives with a foster family with all different races of babies. All the babies are laying in a rainbow shape with one spot left:

Li: Stewie, come complete our rainbow.
Stewie Griffin: I've got a better idea. Let's go play "swallow the stuff under the sink."

[Swallow Your Soul]

Originally posted by: animemaster

My favorite one was where Stewie gets taken away for being a crack baby by social services... Stewie then goes and lives with a foster family with all different races of babies. All the babies are laying in a rainbow shape with one spot left:

Li: Stewie, come complete our rainbow.
Stewie Griffin: I've got a better idea. Let's go play "swallow the stuff under the sink."

I like the bit of that one where Stewie turns them all against each other and goes "Dance puppets DANCE!"

Theres another bit which I kinda forget...but it involves a giant insect/alien sat on a couch watching the news on TV and it is rubbing its hands together saying "good, good"...

[ad4mz41]

Originally posted by: Swallow Your Soul


Theres another bit which I kinda forget...but it involves a giant insect/alien sat on a couch watching the news on TV and it is rubbing its hands together saying "good, good"...

AHAHA that one is funny. Did someone already mention the episode where that guy tries to kill Chris?

Peter: Hey has anyone seen my son Chris? Yeah yeah thats a photo of him you can keep it I have alot. O yeah and on the back it has his name and address and all of his fears listed on it.

-later on in the same episode-

PEter gets attacked by a racoon and goes into that porter potty and it tips over.

Peter: Oh God! Oh God! It's all over the place! Ahh Oh god! Its in my racoon wounds! Ahhh.

And then that old guy at the end, "havent seen the newspaper boy lately. Call mE! Oh you're starting to piss me off."

haha

[Swallow Your Soul]

*shudders* that creepy guy who asks Chris if he 'has any good news' for him is well freaky....but still funny i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif

Theres some well dark humour in Family Guy...like the bit where Death loses his virginity :\

[JusDaMan]

Chris: I DONT WANNA GO TO MY ROOM THERES A EVIL MONKEY IN THERE.

[Knives122]

here are the pics of the EVIL MONKEY

[Knives122]

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:9DQXaaAf3G0J:www.planet-familyguy.com/downloads/fanart/evilmonkey-1024.jpg

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:YbtFiaVKItQJ:mattsteg.homeunix.com/albums/familyguy/fg_evil_monkey5.sized.jpg

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:crZhv-fjLRUJ:www.planet-familyguy.com/downloads/wallpapers/andrew/evilmonkey-tn.jpg[IMG]

[AkimichiChouji]

Peter: Ya well i can recite the whole alphabet in one word
Lois: what?
Peter: *screams*
Lois: Thats not the alphabet you just screamed


----------------------------------------


Peter: Lois its my duty to protect all of my family......heh doody.....heh Diahrea
Peter: Hey Lois!
Lois: What?
Peter: Diahrea
Lois: *laughs* oh Peter im holding drinks


i have all 3 seasons on dvd i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif

[ad4mz41]

fear no more I have found a website with tons of family guy quotes!

http://www.familyguyquotes.com/

I think this one was pretty funny:
Black Knight: You see kids your father is nothing but a fizzle!
Peter: Nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it! Except that one guy who called me a fizzle and then ran off. He got away with it. But most people who call me a fizzle don't get away with it. Well, actually, that guy who got away with it was the only one who ever called me a fizzle. After today ... only half the people who ever called me a fizzle will have gotten away with it.

[stos289]

This one is my favorite:

"I don't want to go on a rant here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Antita. I mean when a neoconservative defenestrates, its like Rascalnakof filibustered deoxymonhydroxinate." - Dennis Miller

"The hell does rant mean?" - Peter Griffin

Another funny one:

"Today my vision for our future comes true....I chicken in every pot, (pulls out gun) and a cap in every ass!!! "

I can name a ton of them off the top of my head.

[stos289]

This one is my favorite:

"I don't want to go on a rant here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Antita. I mean when a neoconservative defenestrates, its like Rascalnakof filibustered deoxymonhydroxinate." - Dennis Miller

"The hell does rant mean?" - Peter Griffin

Another funny one:

"Today my vision for our future comes true....I chicken in every pot, (pulls out gun) and a cap in every ass!!! "

I can name a ton of them off the top of my head.

[stos289]

This one is my favorite:

"I don't want to go on a rant here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Antita. I mean when a neoconservative defenestrates, its like Rascalnakof filibustered deoxymonhydroxinate." - Dennis Miller

"The hell does rant mean?" - Peter Griffin

Another funny one:

"Today my vision for our future comes true....I chicken in every pot, (pulls out gun) and a cap in every ass!!! "

I can name a ton of them off the top of my head.

[Locke]

Twas a triple post, tis sad.

Scene : Stewie thought the loudspeaker that the cheerleader had was a mind control device, thus he ties her up and goes off to take her place and control everyone, quagmire walks in and sees said cheerleader on the groud tied up and he says : "Dear Diary, JACKPOT!!!"

Joe - "We got this new cop van, wanna see it?"
*They get in the van*
Joe - "Peter, stand right there"
*Peter stands there, the van spouts off some stuff about him being a criminal, handcuffs him maybe, takes his wallet.
*Cleveland decides to stand on it
Joe - "No, get off thier Cleveland"
*Machine throws out weed "Black suspect has contraban" "He's getting violent" Machine beats the fuck outta him.

[watching Cricket on British TV]
Peter: What the hell is he talking about?
Englishman: Oh, it's Cricket. Marvelous game, really. You see, the bowler hurls the ball toward the batter who tries to play away a fine leg. He endeavors to score by dashing between the creases, provided the wicket keeper hasn't whipped his bails off, of course.
Peter: Anybody get that?
Cleveland: The only British idiom I know is that "fag" means "cigarette."
Peter: Well, someone tell this "cigarette" to shut up.

Cleveland: Public urination is just wrong. Except during the Million Man March when protestors burned down our porta-potties and I used my stream of justice to put out the hate.

How about when he's insulting lorretas mother when they were golfing and whatnot.

[stos289]

Sorry about the triple post, it wouldn't confirm the post, I started to get agitated, and I kept clicking button to reply. Well anyway, the more Family Guy, the better I always say. To close my apology I'll leave you with these quotes....

"Hey Peter, its seven o'clock and you still got your pants on, what's the ocassion?" - Brian

Mr. Weed - "Your'e neglegance has damaged this company's reputation, YOUR'E FIRED!!!
Peter - "Ah geez, for how long?"

Chris - "Way to go Dad! Fight the machines!"
Stewie - "How do you know about the machines!?"

[r3n]

meg runs in the door crying "oh my god i hate my life so much. im going to go eat peanuts!"

*blank stare from peter and lois*

meg: "Im allergic to peanuts! you dont even know anything about me!!!"

*runs upstairs crying*

Peter "who the hell was that guy?"