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View Full Version : My Naruto FanFic



DeluxSkillz
Thu, 12-18-2003, 10:29 AM
ok so I started a little Naruto fanfic well little i'm not quiet sure about that but before I continue i would like some of your opinions on this wether it's bad or good or whatever here's the link https://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1646413 ('https://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1646413')

any feed back would be greatly appreciated so i can turn my self into a better writer, i always felt that the naruto charachters were a little to young so this fic starts off when naruto has the age of 16 anyway i hope you enjoy bigger and longer chapters will follow this is like the intro to the story

Destroyor
Fri, 12-19-2003, 03:59 AM
ok .... I'm just going to be honest ... and please keep in mind that I'm no English expert myself.

Ok .... right from the start there for ----> therefore

Sakura is sitting in front of her window gazing into the darkness, images shoot trough her mind "You really are annoying." a tear ...

"Haha, way to slow Naruto-kun!" Kakashi

and the list goes on and on http://www.gotwoot.net/forum/html/emoticons/sleep.gif

IMHO, the story would be better in past tense. Naruto and Kakashi seem out of character as well ... and the plot is .. well non-existence.

Sorry if it's a bit harsh but ... nice try

ok I better shut up now.

DeluxSkillz
Fri, 12-19-2003, 09:13 AM
ah well yeah that's my fault i should've done a speel check i totally forgot and english isn't my mother language by the way, the plot is non-existent by the way because it has to build itself up this is just kinda like a short intro to the story and what you can expect, naruto is out of charachter because he has changed in those 4 years i'm not doing the overly happy naruto as we know it's gonna be a totally different naruto

DeluxSkillz
Fri, 12-19-2003, 10:17 AM
17 vieuws and 0 replies hmmmm atleast take a minuteto respond even if you only got bad things to say about it any critique would be good

Nine Tailed Demon
Sun, 12-21-2003, 08:15 AM
spell check