Terra defeats your privacy part 302: The Relationship (& luv) Thread

[Terracosmo]

YO!

Tell us of your relationships (not online ones) with the opposite gender (or same if you swing that way), are you in one right now, got any funny stories, are you perhaps in looooove? Let us turn this into a deep discussion between the mature posters that frequent this looooovable place okay!! *is a bit hyper*

[The Heretic Azazel]

In love with my best friend.. don't do that shit. I've known her for probably 4 years, we broke up and she moved across the country to be with someone else so our friendship took a hit. So after quite a little chunk of time spent there she came back here with a friend of hers... so I got to thinking about life and said fuck it, nothing's working out, I'll ask her to marry me! So I did...and now she needs time to think. I dunno if she loves that other piece of shit or not, but I'll kill him if I have to.

Anyway I'm being stood up by her now. We were supposed to go out but she fuckin fell asleep. Life sucks.

[NM]

Theres this girl from high school that I really liked but...I think I'm just gonna give up on her. =/ I only met her and got to know her senior year of high school and then after that, I just never talked to her. I have her screenname, plus her phone number that she wrote in my yearbook and she's my friend on Facebook yet I haven't said anything to her (I'm one of those extremely shy people). We were really good friends in high school too even though I only knew her my last year, she was one of the nicest girls ever. Actually, last semester she IM'd me alot back then and most of the time she would ask if I came home for the weekend and me, being the idiot that I am, didn't realize that maybe she wanted to hang out or something. And now this semester, she hardly IM's me at all. My college friends have been telling me that I should be the one to try and talk to her and I started by writing on her Facebook and then talked to her on AIM twice but...I don't think I came even close. Like, for some reason, I was sort of getting the feeling that maybe she didn't like me as much as I liked her. I never asked how she felt (again, extremely shy here) but...I dunno, its hard to explain. I keep telling myself that I should move on but theres always some point in the day where I think about her. Blah, these relationship things are always gonna be complicated to me. -.-

[Terracosmo]

@Azazel: that it does, hopefully she will come to her senses and realize that metal is the way to go!

@NM: The way I see it you have to take chances occasionally even if you are shy.. a casual "would you like to grab a coffee sometime?" takes you far and is fairly easy to say, 95% will say "sure" unless you are creepy or you don't know them :D and if they say no, big deal, YOU'RE THE MAN SO IT'S THE WHORE'S LOSS RIIIGHT! ^_^

[complich8]

We were really good friends in high school too even though I only knew her my last year, she was one of the nicest girls ever. Actually, last semester she IM'd me alot back then and most of the time she would ask if I came home for the weekend and me, being the idiot that I am, didn't realize that maybe she wanted to hang out or something.

Does the term "friend zone" mean anything to you? She was trying to promote you out of it ... which is unusual. But you blew it -- you didn't pick up on the hints, and more likely than not she wrote that off as a rejection. Now she's probably over it, and I'd give it better than 50/50 odds that she's got a boyfriend. Maybe you shouldn't completely close the book, but I wouldn't count on it going anywhere either.


I never asked how she felt (again, extremely shy here) but...I dunno, its hard to explain. I keep telling myself that I should move on but theres always some point in the day where I think about her. Blah, these relationship things are always gonna be complicated to me. -.-

So, you're saying you were friends in high school, you talked a bit a couple months ago, and you're hung up on her. Yeah ... that's probably not healthy, and I'd recommend taking this opportunity to meet other people, and try to avoid getting LJBF'ed.

[masamuneehs]

This thread is 'COLD BLOOODED!' and I absolutely love it.

It occurred to me awhile back that this is one of the KrbFucked threads that was deleted with Mut's account, but by the time I got back home I had forgotten again... lol.

@NM: One thing I've learned is this: If a girl was at one time interested in you, it's almost always possible to rekindle that spark, even if the signs of it are gone. Talking online/over Facebook sucks serious balls and is not easy to pull off right. Just occassionally drop her an IM being like 'Long time no see, how are you?' and casual shit like that. Then if you're ever back home at the same time (but not right when you both first get back home) and have a reason to, invite her out. The first face-to-face encounter will reveal alot.

But, like comp said, don't get too invested in just a dream. Try to go out and meet others. If she does have a BF you have to be ready to let it go.

@Azazel: You're in too deep for anyone to give you advise. You know what you're in better than anyone else. Good luck.

@Terra: You don't post anything about your own relationship? Come on man!

Masa's love situation: Right now I'm studying abroad in Italy for just a semester. I have about 3-5 months left here, so I'm not looking for anything long term. The one girl I really like obviously isn't interested in me and is whoring herself to an Italian sceezeball who already has an Italian girlfriend and just calls the American one when he wants some random play. Fuck. Talk about 'You Can't Win Them All'...

Then there's 'Delicate Situation'. She's this American girl I am semi-dating right now. She has a banging body but I think could use some makeup lessosn from Terra (ouch. I'm bein a harsh bastard ain't i? I do not pull my punches in this shit. Duck if you don't want to get knocked the fuck out), but here's the 'delicate' part, she's a virgin. She also has really been pretty forward with me, and I think she's got my name all over her V-card.

I care alot (probb too much) about other peoples' feelings, so I don't want to hurt this girl. I still regret my first time, as it was to a girl I am less than satisfied with having been with at all, and I firmly believe someone's first should be special. I don't like her the way she likes me, but I don't want to say it that bluntly.

I tell her: "I'm not here for a semester to find a real girlfriend."
She says: "Ok. We'll just take it as it comes."
I tell her: "And you deserve someone great for your first time."
She says: "Well at this rate I'd probb lose it to some asshole. And you're a really great guy."
I tell her: "But I might want to be with other girls in the future, and I don't want to hurt you."
She says: "What might happen isn't something you should base your actions off of right now. Let's just see how things go."

So here I am, she's giving me the green light, but I KNOW she doesn't know what she's getting into yet. Some heavy petting (mostly on my part) and sleeping in the same bed (3 times) is the furthest we've gotten, which is right on the doorstep.

'Rebound Girl' - But wait, Masa has more! This is another girl, much more my type, that I met here in Italy. Early on her long-distance boyfriend broke up with her and we spent along time talking about it and are pretty close friends now. But I want her! And at first she was totally in that 'bad place' after the breakup, but seems to be improving (albiet slowly, she was really invested in this other guy). Slowly we've been getting a little more flirty than friendly, and one night we danced together at a club and made out for a minute or so. But after I go to the bathroom I get back and she's all up on this random guy, and I'm like 'I don't love these hoes I'm out the door' and bounce. Next day she's talking about how sketchy this guy was and how she really didn't like him, how drunk she was, not about us kissing.

Ass is ass, but I do not want to be some rebound post. Been there too many times, not my place.

'The girl(s) back home' You didn't think I just kept my game in one country code did you? The first is my ex. I insisted on breaking up while I was abroad, since I do NOT 'cheat' on people I declare my loyalty to and had already planned on being single in Italy before I even met her. We click very well, have similar tastes in bed, and are both pretty into each other. She's a year younger and it sorta shows, as she's sometimes too immature for my tastes, but other times I really need that in my life. We've slept together for the past 3 months.

'The other girl back home' - aka (Why didn't you show you were interested a year ago?) - This girl is hot, party animal, smart and witty. I met her when I was a sophmore and she was a freshman, but it was just class together and we never hung out on our own or got that close. We chat when we see each other, but that's about it. Then we have class together Fall of my Junior year. Now we start becoming 'study buddies' and she reacts positively to my flirting, showing some interest. But nothing really gets started til like 2 months before I leave, when we go out on 3 dates, makeout on the last one, and start talking alot after classes and online. She even talks to me fairly frequently while I'm here in Italy. And she's living right next door to me next year...

There you have it.

[Terracosmo]

Sure I'll give you my relationship info, was just a bit too lazy to do so before. It goes something like this:

The infatuated girl: She was HEAVILY in love with me before, but she isn't as much anymore. She isn't attractive at all, but we usually end up in bed together when I'm drunk anyway (I mostly don't even remember it). She has been hating me for a while but things are getting better. Reason for the hatred?...

The infatuated girl's friend: While the infatuated girl's love for me was at it's peak, I started having a relationship with one of her better friends. Not as a girlfriend, but we met regularly and we kept having sex and whatnot. However, drama ensued since the infatuated girl had actually been telling people that me and her (the infatuated girl, not her friend) were together, leading to universal confusion among all of her friends - they believed that I was being unfaithful to her! This eventually led to a bunch of fucked up stuff, out of which I wrote some in the bitching thread some time ago because her friends are idiots and should burn in hell.

Me and the friend had a fallout eventually, and it never developed into a real relationship, which I don't mind. She was pretty stupid anyway.

Girl of current interest: The first girl I've met in ages who I actually feel rather attracted to in more than a physical sense happens to apparently like me too! I asked her out on a date recently and while we didn't decide on a specific day, she answered "sure" with no second thought. With a bit of luck, this might turn out really nice.

That's it for now I suppose :S

[PSJ]

I'll jump on this and write some lines since it wouldn't hurt to hear other people's opinions.

Well the story goes like this. There's this girl that i have been making out with and shit while drunk alot of times, almost for 2 years now. Last summer, in may last year i think we started dating and well she blew me off after a while so i just didn't boher anymore, i figured she wasn't worth it.

Now almost a year later we ended up on the same party and things turned out as they used to she told me she wanted something serious so i thought for a while maybe i'll give her a second chance.

Now here goes my problem, my attraction to her is purely physical, i think she is hot but we don't really connect that well on the mental level. A part from that i really don't care about her that much.

Right now my conscience tells me to just gain as much as possible from it.

Some opinions on this?

[Terracosmo]

My thoughts are these.. she blew you off, she can go to hell. She missed her chance.

So if you want to go physical with her, do it, but make sure that she knows that you don't want anything serious after that. Otherwise there will just be an endless stream of bickering from her part. From your description I get the impression that she wouldn't mind just spending some "quality time" with you. But I might be wrong...

[Phoenix20578]

Im gonna have to agree with Terra on this one PSJ. She missed her chance. Plus if its only a physical attraction, its not gonna last long and your gonna be in for a whole lot trobble in the end.

[IFHTT]

I have almost the same situation as NarutoMaster:

This girl and I met in my athletics class in 10th Grad. My god did I have the biggest fucking crush on her, and she was BEAUTIFUL and would always flirt with me hardcore. This took place for two years. It was obvious she wanted to be with me now that I look back, but unfortunately I was a dumb gullible fuck back then and never moved in on it.Hell, I never even saw it like that, I just assumed there was no way a girl this awesome and beautiful could fall right into my lap, and viewed her as a friend.. Then I graduated and she stayed in highschool, she was two years younger than me. I had her phone number but lost it, and besides that going up to the school to see her were the only viable methods I had to see her. Then I had to move to my college and I haven't heard from her or seen her since... I kick myself in the groin 3 times a day every day for missing that golden oppurtunity. That shit was love now that I look back. I'm such a fucking idiot... I know there are others out there, but this was the most compatible relationship I've ever seen. I would have gone to the ends of the Earth for this girl, I mean she Was the one. But now all that is gone. She's since moved away to a location unknown to me. I'll probably never see her again. I've contemplated suicide before over the fact that I missed out, but luckily anime always brings my hopes back up and I'm too much of a pussy to actually try it lol. Though the pain still always lingers in my subconcious. I always have dreams of her and shit. I am still single to this day, in hopes that I have a chance to see her again. And if I ever get that chance, you bet your asses I won't miss out, I'll confess my love for her. Hopefully that day will come, but time sure seems to pass by quickly and with time there is change so I hope we'll have that chance. But the odds always weigh in and make me lose hope. :( I'm just a heartbroken fool.

[PSJ]

Im gonna have to agree with Terra on this one PSJ. She missed her chance. Plus if its only a physical attraction, its not gonna last long and your gonna be in for a whole lot trobble in the end.


That's very true. Thanks for the comments. Really appreciated.

[darkshadow]

I have almost the same situation as NarutoMaster:

.....My god did I have the biggest fucking crush on her, and she was BEAUTIFUL and would always flirt with me hardcore. This took place for two years. It was obvious she wanted to be with me now that I look back, but unfortunately I was a dumb gullible fuck back then and never moved in on it.Hell, I never even saw it like that, I just assumed there was no way a girl this awesome and beautiful could fall right into my lap.....

im still in the same situation ( exactly the same) except mine has been going on for 5 years now.... even though i had my share of girls, this girl just rox my entire world, too bad she doesnt live in this country anymore, now i dont even see her anymore T_T, meh i can honestly say that if i would have a relation ship with some other girl, and suddendly she said she still feels the same way, BOOM i would dump the other girl instantly, or i would cheat on her for awhile, without second guessing about it :P

[Board of Command]

My god did I have the biggest fucking crush on her, and she was BEAUTIFUL and would always flirt with me hardcore. This took place for two years. It was obvious she wanted to be with me now that I look back, but unfortunately I was a dumb gullible fuck back then and never moved in on it.Hell, I never even saw it like that, I just assumed there was no way a girl this awesome and beautiful could fall right into my lap, and viewed her as a friend.. Then I graduated and she stayed in highschool, she was two years younger than me.

Almost identical situation with me, except I still have 3 months before I actually reach your stage (aka leave high school). I've known this one girl for a loooooooooong time and last year she hanged out with this friend of hers at the school's computer lab. They're both 2 years under me. I was there occasionally and I didn't know anything about her friend. One day they asked me for some help with Powerpoint so I said "Yeah sure". I went over and helped them out. The way I talk in real life (no, not as in I have an accent or anything) is very different from how I write on this forum, and a lot of people think I'm a pretty funny guy. I guess this girl's friend did as well.

That was our first encounter pretty much. A few months after we went on this 3-day DECA trip. It was a provincial business competition thing and that girl came along as well. At the last day, nobody had anything to do so I just hanged around in the mall with a friend. There we met the "girl squad", consisting of two girls whom I've known for a hella long time and that *other* girl. We were at the food court and she asked to share her ice cream with me. Being an absolute dumb fuck at the time, I was like "whoa she can't be serious, especially in front of her friends whom I've known for all my life." So I declined her offer. To this day I still think about that reply I gave and regret it like nothing else. At the time I was outright confused because this girl was still pretty much a stranger. The only thing I knew about her was her name.

Later that day we all sat at the lobby and waited for the bus. The girl squad came over and sat with my group, and that girl sat beside me on my left, IIRC. We just chatted casually until one of her friends brought over some Timbits. I grabbed one of those jam-filled ones and she ripped of it out of my hand. At that moment I knew she was flirting around with me, so I just played along. On the bus home I sat behind her and occasionally talked, but I slepted through most of the trip because I always sleep on the bus. That way was probably the highlight of the trip.

A night or two later, she adds me to MSN. I assumed she asked her friend for my email. So we chatted all night about random stuff because jumping from topic to topic is my forte. She was now a new friend of mine. She's two years younger than me but she's very mature. Over the next few months we occasionally had long chats like that, long because I almost never get to see her in person at school since she's nowhere near any of my classes. I always thought of her as just a friend because she's two years younger than me and there's no way anything could happen. We still have long chats like back then and I've known her for a full year now. I try to see her in person as much as possible but it's tough.

I think it's too late to do anything, especially with me leaving high school in a few months. I didn't have the balls to do anything when opportunity was knocking and I certainly can't do anything now. The one problem is that I still don't know all that much about her because instant messaging is not great for that. I'm positive that she knows more about me than I do about her because I'm a really outgoing guy while she's the quiet type. This girl is really pretty and extremely smart, something you don't see too often in high school. Like IFHTT said, for a long while I truly thought she is THE ONE but the time for that has passed already. I'll probably never see her again once she graduates because she says she wants to leave the city to study media while I'm staying at the local university (University of Waterloo if you're wondering). I guess I had the chance to at least do something with her in this limited time but I blew it :( I'd give up everything to go back to the moment with us sitting there waiting for the bus...

[IFHTT]

Just ask her out! You still have a little time, then you can get to know her, even if you don't get that involved it's better to have tried and know your current standing than to just let it go. Trust me knowing that you had the chance and missed it is a hell of a lot worse than taking the chance and finding that theres nothing there. Closure's the name of the game when it comes to this type of situation.

[Terracosmo]

I've contemplated suicide before over the fact that I missed out

Brush the fuck up.

I know how those things feel, but more girls will come your way, they always will.
Never, EVER, consider killing yourself over a woman.

[IFHTT]

Yeah I know that was extreme but at the time it sounded reasonable. I'd never do it though. It must've been all the teenage hormones coupled with lots of antidepressants and other narcotics back then. Around where I live, it is a pretty common thing though unfortunately. Just two weeks ago some poor bastard took a gun to his head in a church parking lot, because kids at school called him gay... What a dumbass thing to do. I equate it with completely giving up and if you completely give up like that over something so trivial then you were probably better off dead in the first place. I'm good now though.

[Terracosmo]

I'm not completely against suicide. I think if people want peace of mind they should go ahead and do it, but not over a freakin' woman. But hey that's a whole other topic :D

Glad to hear that you have stopped thinking that way though.

[complich8]

I seem to have problems with intimidating people... I don't even mean to or anything, but apparently it's one of those inevitabilities of life.

Part of it is probably because I'm just really insanely huge (6'8), and part of it is the inherent physical strength that comes with that. That's usually enough to keep women from getting close, and has been a big barrier to relationships for me.

Occasionally though, a girl gets over that and realizes that just because I'm huge doesn't mean I'm going to crush her or anything. But the last time I got particularly close to a girl, she broke it off because she was intimidated by my intellect.

How much of a bullshit reason to end a relationship is that? It took me a while to figure it out ... she was a leech. The guy she dated after me (and ended up marrying, and then later divorcing) was also a big guy, but dumb as a rock. I realized, seeing that, that what she really wanted in a relationship was to be the "better half" and get constantly validated for it...

Realizing that about her (and that she's a fucking nutjob), I'm pretty glad I didn't end up with her.

So about half my relationship picture is intimidation... what's the other half, you ask? Missed opportunities.

So, I keep running into these girls at very bad times in my life or theirs ... things that aren't conducive to relationships working out at all. Like this girl Jen ... if I had picked up on her liking me a year or so earlier, we would have had a lot of fun together ... but she's no good at giving signals, and I'm not exactly a perfect receiver of them either (something about not having a poor self-image). So I lost a lot of time ... and by the time I noticed that she was sending these faint little signals, she was set to graduate and move 1500 miles away in like ... 2 months.

Now, one thing I know about relationships ... 2 months is not enough time to have a serious relationship that's about to get separated for the next 3+ years... so I didn't take the opportunity then. Now she's still in upstate New York (and planning on moving to the west coast in the next couple years), and I'm still in Indiana (and planning on being here for the next couple of years). That relationship wouldn't be ... you know ... working.

Then there's the girl from high school. Really smart girl, cute, absolutely hilarious. She went to a different school than me, but we bumped into each other at random events (we were in the same activities). Around the time we both went to college, she went off to Yale, I went to Purdue... we started bouncing IM's off each other. I was into her, she was into me ... but even our breaks were different weeks, so I could only actually see her like twice a year.

Yeah, that didn't work out so well either. We just sort of both lost interest. Now she's graduated, and moved back to the Chicago area, and I'm still a couple hours away and lacking in transportation... so it's still in a "nothing's happening" state.

Dammit ... I need to find a smart, funny, attractive local girl who's into me and isn't graduating at the end of the semester! Why are they so rare? :p

[RedX1z]

most of you have interesting stories, makes my story sound stupid, but here goes nothing..

i knew this girl, we were good friends for about a good 2-3 years until she moved to the other side of the world and after that a part of me died, because when she left it was like 50% of my good years left with her, i really don't know how to say it, but that's how i felt. back then i barely talked to anyone or got to know anyone, if anything i hated alot of people back then and i guess you can say she was my only close friend back then along with a few other people. anyways, getting back on topic we were good friends, we would shoot pool together alot, drink together alot, and many other things. about 2 years passed and one thing led to another she sorta saw my stash and it led to a slap to my face, then she went home, a few days later she came to see me again and said "i forgive you," i was like "eh?".. unfortunately i was too stupid to realize that was a sign. in the end she moved and left. until today we talk online a lot and stay good friends, on the bright side, she's coming to see me in july, just hope i don't screw it up this time, anyways i guess that's my story.

[masamuneehs]

UDRx1 your story is pretty deep shit too man. however you were quite vague in some of your wording (understandably so, it isn't easy to just go onto the web and blurt out your personal past to relative strangers). I'm especially curious about what kind of 'stash' she stumbled on, as that means two very different things where I'm from.

Long distance sucks. Humans are limited creatures with limited abilities to connect and react. While technology has made it easier to interact from across long distances, it does not give sustinence to the soul the way the person's actual company does. Personally, if anything, those IMs and phone conversations are just a 'tease', like a lingering phantom, that preys on the emotions.

comp: Keep on fishing man. There's plenty in the sea, but there's only one plaque in your living room for the right one.

BoC: Reeling in the fish is hard. You have to keep up a fast pace or it'll wiggle it's way off the hook. But if you go to fast and don't watch out, you'll drag your line through a bunch of swampgrass and not only will you lose the fish, you'll lose the bait and hook too. (Translated from Fish metaphor: Pursue, but with a calm, level-headed outlook.)

General: Suicide is only for cowards.

[IFHTT]

most of you have interesting stories, makes my story sound stupid, but here goes nothing..

i knew this girl, we were good friends for about a good 2-3 years until she moved to the other side of the world and after that a part of me died, because when she left it was like 50% of my good years left with her, i really don't know how to say it, but that's how i felt.

I know exactly how that feels. Good luck when she comes back dude, I hope that it all works out ok! :D

@Masa: "Suicide is for cowards"

Indeed it is.

[Terracosmo]

So Red, let me get this straight, she saw your porn, gave you a slap and then proceeded to claim that she was the one who forgave you?

That is... hilarious. Unless stash means something else for you of course. But if it doesn't, what a fucking bitch. You should have slapped her back. It's your damn right to keep as much nudity as you want.

[RedX1z]

thanks for hearing me out, folks, it really took somewhat of a load of my back. also, i hope you all get it good in the future.

@masamuneehs: it's not as easy as i thought it'd be, but in the end i got most of it, didn't i? plus, least on here i can't get backstabbed to a certain point. oh, the 'stash'? well, that's something i'll save for another day.

@ifinghatetonton: thanks, i'll do my best!

@terracosmo: as funny as it sounds, that slap hurt like hell. also, between you and me, that stash just kept on getting bigger and bigger after she left..

[The Heretic Azazel]

I'm fairly certain his stash is his weed.

[NM]

@NM: The way I see it you have to take chances occasionally even if you are shy.. a casual "would you like to grab a coffee sometime?" takes you far and is fairly easy to say, 95% will say "sure" unless you are creepy or you don't know them :D and if they say no, big deal, YOU'RE THE MAN SO IT'S THE WHORE'S LOSS RIIIGHT! ^_^

I wish I had just said that before =/. On her Facebook, I wrote on her wall saying how long its been and we should try and hang out sometime over spring break and she responded on my wall. She said something like "thanks for the reply, glad to hear your semester is going well. Spring break will be here before we know it!" but she never said "yeah, we should definetly hang out" or something like that. Unless of course, her response about how spring break will be here meant she did want to hang out...>_< Your last part of your post does make me feel a bit better though, thanks! :)



Does the term "friend zone" mean anything to you? She was trying to promote you out of it ... which is unusual. But you blew it -- you didn't pick up on the hints, and more likely than not she wrote that off as a rejection. Now she's probably over it, and I'd give it better than 50/50 odds that she's got a boyfriend. Maybe you shouldn't completely close the book, but I wouldn't count on it going anywhere either.

So, you're saying you were friends in high school, you talked a bit a couple months ago, and you're hung up on her. Yeah ... that's probably not healthy, and I'd recommend taking this opportunity to meet other people, and try to avoid getting LJBF'ed.

I know I lost my chance already, I keep beating myself up for it. >_< But the thing is, according to her Facebook, she doesn't have a boyfriend just yet, she's still single. But I still think that even if I try, I don't think I'd get anywhere with her as you said since she may have thought that I didn't like her. When she would ask me if I came home in our conversations last semester, I think one time I said I did go home and then the other two times she asked I said no. I should've followed up and said that I COULD have gone home that weekend and maybe we could've catch up. But of course, I was a baka back then. A BIG one. >_< I suppose I should just try and meet other girls...I've been going to college parties and all but I usually have just gone with friends to drink and thats about it.



@NM: One thing I've learned is this: If a girl was at one time interested in you, it's almost always possible to rekindle that spark, even if the signs of it are gone. Talking online/over Facebook sucks serious balls and is not easy to pull off right. Just occassionally drop her an IM being like 'Long time no see, how are you?' and casual shit like that. Then if you're ever back home at the same time (but not right when you both first get back home) and have a reason to, invite her out. The first face-to-face encounter will reveal alot.

I would try and do that masa, but nowadays, everytime she signs on AIM, she ALWAYS signs off immediately after coming on. Either that, or she'll leave an away message up really quick saying she's doing some homework or something. Now, I don't think she's doing it since I'm online (since I leave my AIM on 24/7) because there was one time where I went invisible on AIM for awhile and I saw her sign on. I was tempted to come back so she could see me but she signed off immediately. But then again, even if your invisible, your profile will still be visible to everyone if they were to just search your screenname for the hell of it. So..I dunno. Our schools are both in NJ, so our vacations are almost identical.

EDIT: And also, I'd like to say thanks alot to Terra for making this thread, and to everyone for reading/listening. I may have screwed up but its really good to know that I've got awesome friends like everyone here to listen to me and give advice and feedback. GotWoot FTW!

[Terracosmo]

@terracosmo: as funny as it sounds, that slap hurt like hell. also, between you and me, that stash just kept on getting bigger and bigger after she left..

Regardless of what your stash was, there is no excuse for slapping you out of the blue (unless it consisted of pics of you doing her best friend or something).

I say good riddance. Just imagine how annoying she'd be in 10 years if you stuck together!

Move on, and you will eventually find a woman who loves you for who you are and not for what is in your stash!!!! (...)

But seriously. Porn > Relationships

[IFHTT]

But seriously. Porn > Relationships


Thats right! And your right hand never gives you grief for not paying attention to it. :D

[el_boss]

Seems like there are alot of people suffering from sever cases of "oneitis". Get over it guys! She is not special. The awesomeness is just in your mind.

I have to disagree with your ideas about porn and masturbation. It's just like complish8 says, "complacence is the enemy". Masturbation creates complacence. It lowers the sex-drive and dampens the will to get out and find a woman.

A funny thing I heard once "to double your success rate, double your failure rate". What I mean by this is that if you want a girlfriend, you have got to get out there and meet as many women as you can. A girlfriend won't just fall in your lap if you sit around. "Things don't change, we change". Get how this works? For example if you wan't to get good at a sport or something, you don't just sit around. You have to activly train to get better. This applies to your life as well. If you want to get better at relationships, you have got to get out there and "train". As Wayne Gretzky once said "you miss a 100% of the shots you don't take". If you don't talk to that girl you've been eyeing in the bar, there is no chance that she'll end up with you.

And a last thing, don't ever get mad at a girl if she doesn't like you. To put it bluntly, if she doesn't like you, it means you did something wrong. Realize that you are the problem and you will realize that the solution is within you, this is something I heard recently and I'm paraphrasing it loosely since I don't remember the exact words, but you get the idea.

[Terracosmo]

Well written, but I disagree with two things in your post el_boss.

"I have to disagree with your ideas about porn and masturbation. It's just like complish8 says, "complacence is the enemy". Masturbation creates complacence. It lowers the sex-drive and dampens the will to get out and find a woman."

The way I see it, a LOT of the men out there need to dampen their overall sex-drive. It might make it so girls can actually frequent a bar without getting felt up by some asshole. ;) Masturbation is healthy!! <3

"And a last thing, don't ever get mad at a girl if she doesn't like you. To put it bluntly, if she doesn't like you, it means you did something wrong. Realize that you are the problem and you will realize that the solution is within you, this is something I heard recently and I'm paraphrasing it loosely since I don't remember the exact words, but you get the idea."

Come on now... that is not true. It's not always YOUR fault, people can have a bad day and their behavior will change accordingly. Especially with girls, it would seem. I've experienced insults from the opposite sex for no apparent reason more than once during what I have seen as normal conversations.

Wow, so much stereotyping by me in this post. But what the hell.

[masamuneehs]

The way I see it, a LOT of the men out there need to dampen their overall sex-drive. It might make it so girls can actually frequent a bar without getting felt up by some asshole. ;) Masturbation is healthy!! <3

Amen reverend.

Going out and pursuing is one thing. Going out there and making an ass of yourself because you're too horny (and maybe drunk or high or something in addition) to think better of your, later regretable, actions can easily be avoided by an active imagination, maybe some visual aids, a hand and some tissues.

I will be the first to admit that I am terribly flawed as a person. I need a few 'outlets' and 'props' to live and act the way I find most rewarding and desireable. Otherwise I can really be a pretty fucked-up person if left alone.:eek:

freak a'leak!

[rockmanj]

Hmmm..Let's see...Nothing exciting really, But let me give s bit of backstory. I live in south korea now, and it seems that most women that my friends and i meet are a fan of "The marathon cocktease", which constitutes going out with a girl, her usually getting you drunk, and suggesting that some mature content ensue, and then at the last possible moment deciding that its time to go home. Seriously, its happened to a LOT of foreigner guys that i know. The language barrier is also a large issue, but Ive met some cool ones here. And back where im from, i had a few things lined up when i left, but all i can do about that now is talk to them every few weeks or so (touching bases, i call it).

[suckitdry]

You know what tonight is?
The night I'm downloading porn at 14 kilobytes a second!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ha! I'm just kidding. I got a cable modem back here.

This pornography is infinitely excellent. This dresser, however, is not. Burn it,

[rockmanj]

excue me, but WHAT?!

[The Heretic Azazel]

Hmmm..Let's see...Nothing exciting really, But let me give s bit of backstory. I live in south korea now, and it seems that most women that my friends and i meet are a fan of "The marathon cocktease", which constitutes going out with a girl, her usually getting you drunk, and suggesting that some mature content ensue, and then at the last possible moment deciding that its time to go home. Seriously, its happened to a LOT of foreigner guys that i know. The language barrier is also a large issue, but Ive met some cool ones here. And back where im from, i had a few things lined up when i left, but all i can do about that now is talk to them every few weeks or so (touching bases, i call it).

Unfortunately this is why some women are raped.

[gr3atfull]

When I was in fourth grade, I used to like this guy. He was the sport type, funny, talk back to the teachers and real real smart guy. In 7th grade, he started going out with this girl. I was real pissed, but hey thats life. In 10th grade, he broke up with her. A week later, he asks me out. I was really happy since my long time wish came true. After a month going out with him, I finally found out that he was using me to make his ex jealous. I was just being used.

During the summer time, I met this hot guy from a friend at soccer. He was really nice and caring. During the whole summer time, he was inviting me to all the parties and took me out with his friends. At the end of summer time, I found out he was also trying to make his ex jealous at the parties. And again, some one used me as a tool.

Since then, I refused to go out with anyone anymore even though I had offers.

[RedX1z]

When I was in fourth grade, I used to like this guy. He was the sport type, funny, talk back to the teachers and real real smart guy. In 7th grade, he started going out with this girl. I was real pissed, but hey thats life. In 10th grade, he broke up with her. A week later, he asks me out. I was really happy since my long time wish came true. After a month going out with him, I finally found out that he was using me to make his ex jealous. I was just being used.

During the summer time, I met this hot guy from a friend at soccer. He was really nice and caring. During the whole summer time, he was inviting me to all the parties and took me out with his friends. At the end of summer time, I found out he was also trying to make his ex jealous at the parties. And again, some one used me as a tool.

Since then, I refused to go out with anyone anymore even though I had offers.

from the sound of things, you just rushed into these relationships. i'm guessing the reason why they probably used you was because you didn't know them that well and they didn't know you that well or just simply, because those guys are assholes to begin with. you shouldn't stop dating and such, because of that. you should trust, yet not trust a person completely, because in those cases i believe that 90% of the time you're just going to end up breaking up with them anyway, so if you learn that it won't stab you in the heart as much, but hey, that's just my view of things, anyways don't give up on men. i'm sure there's someone out there for you.

[masamuneehs]

gr3atfull, definitely don't stop dating just cuz of those assholes.

It's like fishing. You may only like some kinds of fish, but you end up catching all different sorts, some that you hate. And while if you don't go fishing at all you won't catch those bad fish, you'll also never catch the good ones.

In both fishing for fish and people I find one thing key: location. If you know what kind of guy you're attracted to start hanging out around places where you think he might turn up.

To keep up the metaphors: Knowing is half the battle. You need intel on your prospective target, and this is where your friends come in. I've been employed on innumerable covert operations to find out what exactly a dude was intending with my female friends (it also helps if he doesn't know you're their friend), and those girls have returned the favor as well.

The same thing I said to comp applies to almost everyone who is still searching: Keep on fishing. There's plenty in the sea, but there's only one plaque in your living room for the right one.

[Ero-Fan]

I like this topic. I guess I ought to share my current relationship status like everyone else is as well.
Ok, anyways, I've been going out with my current girl for almost 5 years now. Before you guys ask the obvious question, yes, we probably will get married after we're out of college and have lived together for a bit. Before her, I had dated 4 of her friends. Not a one of these break-ups was ever what you would call amiacable. In fact, the one before her, when she dumped me, I laughed and made her cry. Oh, yeah, all of them were very good friends with each other until they started dating me. So yeah, I wrecked that too, as I went from one friend to another. My current girl and I have an arrangement to see each other every other weekend and any weekdays we have available since we're both in school. My friends get the other weekends, as do hers. I am good friends with her new best friend, which helps in getting ideas for gifts, info on what she did, etc. We (my g/f and I) like to argue. A lot. Which seems to get people worried about us. I think we argue so that we do that make up stuff. Which is always better than normal stuff. Not one of our fights are serious. Also, we almost have nothing in common, which seems weird, but it works out. She's quiet, shy, horrible at math, and very emotional. I almost show no emotion but anger, hate public displays of affection, love math, and am fairly outspoken and outgoing. Go figure.

[Terracosmo]

Yeah I've experienced that "go from one friend to another thing" before too. I've never understood people like that. I'd never let a mate's ex get a shot at me, I have too much respect for my friends to start dating their ex girlfriends... but yeah.

Ero-Fan, some tips for you:

You should make sure that your girlfriend also feels that your fights aren't serious. I might be wrong here of course, but given that you two are so different, I think chances are high that she secretly actually takes them seriously. And, why fight to begin with if the arguments aren't even serious? You also write that you show almost no emotion except anger, isn't it a possibility then that she doesn't dare to show that she hates the fights?

I hope I'm not taking too many liberties here, but I've seen my share of different women and I just thought I'd share my advice. If you are going to get married, you must be 120% sure that it's the right girl. Marriage is hell to get out of if you ever change your mind...

[Ero-Fan]

Yeah I've experienced that "go from one friend to another thing" before too. I've never understood people like that. I'd never let a mate's ex get a shot at me, I have too much respect for my friends to start dating their ex girlfriends... but yeah.

Ero-Fan, some tips for you:

You should make sure that your girlfriend also feels that your fights aren't serious. I might be wrong here of course, but given that you two are so different, I think chances are high that she secretly actually takes them seriously. And, why fight to begin with if the arguments aren't even serious? You also write that you show almost no emotion except anger, isn't it a possibility then that she doesn't dare to show that she hates the fights?

I hope I'm not taking too many liberties here, but I've seen my share of different women and I just thought I'd share my advice. If you are going to get married, you must be 120% sure that it's the right girl. Marriage is hell to get out of if you ever change your mind...

Yeah, I kinda made sure of that too. I ask her about it, and she says she likes to fight as well. She also knows not to take much of what I say too seriously. At least, she says she does. You know how women are... Besides the fact she cries every time she has to go home after a weekend. Supposedly for leaving me, but I think she just hates school. :p I just enjoy a good fight, and from what she says, she does too. And as I said, but I'll say it clearer here: Make-up sex is always better than regular sex. And most of the time I'm nice to her (in private). Most arguments end with us laughing. I say I only show anger, I do have other emotions of course. I won't get in to why I don't show anything else, suffice to say you can blame that bastard who calls himself my father.
That's why I said we will live together (alone) for a while before we get married. Basically take a test drive on how day to day living will be compared to what we have now. That way she gets to see how much of a mess I can make of a house and how waking up every day next to each other will be like.

[Terracosmo]

Well looks like you thought things through, in that case I'll just wish you good luck. :D

For the record, make-up sex might be nice, but it doesn't beat drunk sex! Hell yeah!

[Ero-Fan]

Well looks like you thought things through, in that case I'll just wish you good luck. :D

For the record, make-up sex might be nice, but it doesn't beat drunk sex! Hell yeah!

Thanks. Yeah, I hope I thought of everything, but I doubt it.

Haha. Neither one of us likes to get drunk. She likes to make fun of drunks, I like to beat them up. Her cousins get shitfaced, so its fun to screw with em.
Edit: Watch. Now that I said all this, with my luck, she'll dump me. Ha!

[XanBcoo]

Ero_fan, you seem to have a pretty good relationship imo. The fact that you guys can argue not-seriously like that a lot seems kinda sweet in a way. Also seems like there would be less tension between you if a real argument were to occur. Good luck.

At the moment I'm not dating anyone, nor am I really interested in any specific girl. I've actually never been in a real relationship before. My first "girlfriend" was this girl I basically thought the world of for about 6 years before I finally told her how I felt - which was in 8th grade(ish). She basically was all "ok cool, so let's be g/f and b/f and stuff" but I think she forgot she said that roughly 2 days afterwards. I heard she made out with this guy at a party and had a crush on this other guy at a different school, and some other bs that I don't care to recall. After a few more days of not hearing from her, our "relationship" just sort of stopped (technically, we never officially ended it, heh). Looking back, I'd say she had about 0 romantic feelings for me, but didn't want to reject me because we used to be such good friends. She might have given me more of a chance had I been a spectacular boyfriend that outshined every other guy in teh universe, but I don't think I was ready for such a serious commitment anyway. I'm still not sure what my take is on that situation.

My most recent crush is another one that didn't work out. I'm extremely hesitant to explain it in full because of the way I know the girl. In any case, I really admire her, even though I don't have the same feelings I did for her a while ago. So she's a good person and yadda yadda yadda, and up until recently I thought there was a chance she MIGHT like me as well. I had that thrown in my face the last time I saw her. Apparently I was not quite as close to her as I had lead myself to beleive. I had it in my mind that we were becoming really great friends, but actually it seems she doesn't think very much of me (she actually was being quite evasive every time I tried to talk to her). Such is life. I felt a little depressed when I realized nothing would happen between us, but no resentment whatsoever. Basically, it was just a whole lot of thinking in circles on my part. I've recognized my place in this one, and am comfortable that we are still quasi-friendly. This all happened recently, about a month ago.

Edit: Has anyone thought of posting pictures of their girls/guys? I think it'd be a cool idea. Also, Masa's fish metaphors ftw!

[RedX1z]

if it means anything, you were all so young back then, that nobody and i mean nobody fully understands the meaning of a relationship or don't even come close. least now, you should be old enough to understand it a little better now than before, so don't give up. i'm sure you can be greater if you tried, you just have to try. back then, i say that your situation from my point of view is bad timing, wrong people. least nowadays, if you look in the right direction, you can find those mature enough to understand you and such.

remember this.. how do you learn how to get up? by falling a few times here and there.

[gr3atfull]

@ UltxDarkRedX1
I dont think I was rushing into getting a boyfriend, I am not that type of person. I do believe they were assholes. But the fact is, I am still pissed. I mean geez, dont they used the brain ?!?! I do have emotions. I am still really sad that why in the fucking world does that have to happen to me? I mean I went out with 2 guys and I had to be use like a little kid? It is true that 90% chances were that we were going to break up, but not for that reason. And I tought hey they were the ONE.Guess they werent.

@ masamuneehs:
Location thing is true. But I never know what am I going to get into. I mean if I meet this guys, I wont know what type of guy he is. I mean what the person really really is. I prefer to go out with some one I know from school or connection than liking this attractive guy I found from a gym. I mean how do I know that he isnt a drug dealer and a dropout. That he just want to rape me or just making me go on drugs so then he can use me (I know that I am exagerating, but do you understand what I mean ? What are the chances I end up like that? What were the chances that I went out with two guys and end up being used?)

Anyways, I am just going to wait until I find THE REAL ONE.

[RedX1z]

sorry, i didn't mean to assume those things, it just sounded like it.

of course they know you have emotions, but those people just love to make their fun come before anything else including it and that's what makes them assholes. i'm sure people went through what you went through, probably even scarred them as well from it, but by not dating until you find that one is just proving that they won and you lost, that is why you must prove yourself right and them wrong by going out there without a care in the world.

[samsonlonghair]

Oh, the stories I could tell. Every relationship I've ever had has ended badly. And it was always my fault. I've always been a bit of a sociopath, but for some reason there are always women who think they can fix me. They say crap like, "You just need to be loved." or some other such nonsense. Then when it turns out that I really am as much of an asshole as I always claimed to be, they get mad at me.

Anyway, this went on for a few years. Some girl would fall in love with me, then I would inadvertantly make her feel like crap (what I warned her about), then we would break up. Lather, rinse, repeat. Each story has its own bit of insanity.

Then it happened. I found a girl who was such a bitch that she could match me. We drive eachother crazy, but we're in love. Go figure.

[Terracosmo]

Anyways, I am just going to wait until I find THE REAL ONE.

Well you're still very young... and definitely not alone in getting used either.
So just take it easy, and you'll find your prince in shining armor eventually (although you better remember that Yzak is MINE!) :D

[RedX1z]

Well you're still very young... and definitely not alone in getting used either.
So just take it easy, and you'll find your prince in shining armor eventually (although you better remember that Yzak is MINE!) :D

well, there's only one way to settle this..FIGHT TO THE DEATH!

@gr3atfull: didn't think you were that young, so yeah, whatever terra said. you led me to believe you were an adult for a secon..days..anyways, it doesn't make too much of a difference.

[gr3atfull]

sorry, i didn't mean to assume those things, it just sounded like it.

of course they know you have emotions, but those people just love to make their fun come before anything else including it and that's what makes them assholes. i'm sure people went through what you went through, probably even scarred them as well from it, but by not dating until you find that one is just proving that they won and you lost, that is why you must prove yourself right and them wrong by going out there without a care in the world.

Don’t worry. Actually, I find it’s really funny. You see, you are telling me that it might be that I am rushing into things, but my friends are telling me that I wasn’t "eager" enough. So, here I have the two sides opinions.But, you and my friends are telling me the same thing. You and them are telling me to get into another relationship. I guess I should. My friends are always trying to hook me up with someone,but I am scared. I mean, is this going to happen again? How in the world am I supposed to know that the guy is going to use me again? I guess I have to take the risk.


Well you're still very young... and definitely not alone in getting used either.
So just take it easy, and you'll find your prince in shining armor eventually (although you better remember that Yzak is MINE!) :D
Yeah, I noticed I am really young compare to everyone in this forum…. And I still have time long time in front of me.
Talking about Yzak, actually, he was always mine. Guess we have to share him :p .


well, there's only one way to settle this..FIGHT TO THE DEATH!
I don’t think he will dare to hit a girl… So I guess we have to share him :D

[el_boss]

The way I see it, a LOT of the men out there need to dampen their overall sex-drive. It might make it so girls can actually frequent a bar without getting felt up by some asshole. ;) Masturbation is healthy!! <3Just because you have a high sex-drive it doesn't mean you will become an asshole. I'm not really talking about the kind of guy that already gets out alot and grabs girls asses at that. He obviously already has that part of his life covered. I'm talking about the kind of guy that maybe doesn't like to go out much to clubs and stuff and doesn't like talking to girls. I'm not in any way saying that anyone should stop masturbating entirely. But try to ration it. Do it like once per week, make it special. :) This is an excellent way to practice self control as well.

It is also very important to be aware of the difference between pleasure and happiness. Are you a pleasure seeker or do you want to experience some kind of higher happiness in your life? For example smoking a cigarette might bring you pleasure for the moment. If you on the other hand quit smoking, by successfully conquering your habit you will permanently feel happiness over you accomplishment.


Come on now... that is not true. It's not always YOUR fault, people can have a bad day and their behavior will change accordingly. Especially with girls, it would seem. I've experienced insults from the opposite sex for no apparent reason more than once during what I have seen as normal conversations. What is more encouraging? To constantly blame others or admit that you are the solution to your problems.

You have to understand that beautiful women get approached alot. It's preposterous to expect them to be nice and polite towards every guy that comes up to them and wants to buy them a drink. I still stick by what I said earlier. "If she doesn't like you, it means you did something wrong". What I said originally was that "don't ever get mad at a girl if she doesn't like you". So what if she had a bad day? You maybe should have been more cheerful and supporting or whatever. Maybe you just approached her from the wrong angle "something wrong" covers alot of things.


Going out and pursuing is one thing. Going out there and making an ass of yourself because you're too horny (and maybe drunk or high or something in addition) to think better of your, later regretable, actions can easily be avoided by an active imagination, maybe some visual aids, a hand and some tissues.The fear of "making an ass of yourself" or losing face is just in your head. It's just a lie you tell yourself so you won't need to feel bad for not doing something. "If I do that everyone will laugh at me" or something along those lines. Do you think it's a healthy disposition to let what others supposedly will think stop you from getting what you want, what you need in life? This quote comes to mind, "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly".

You actually sort of bring up one of my main points yourself, though it is used in another context "...actions can easily be avoided by an active imagination...". Or more like actions are easily avoided by an active imagination. It all depends on how you use your imagination. Most people constantly go around and imagine worst-case-scenarios and worry needlessly. "Losers think about the penalties of failure, winners think about the rewards of success".

-----------------------------------

I just want to clear something up. It just happens that I have been reading and thinking alot about these sort of things lately. These are just some of my thoughts regarding this matter. I'm not trying to force my way of thinking on anyone. You can take it or leave it.

[Terracosmo]

"Just because you have a high sex-drive it doesn't mean you will become an asshole."

Didn't say that. There is however a connection. Someone with a high sex-drive is most definitely more likely to do something stupid towards a female.

"I'm talking about the kind of guy that maybe doesn't like to go out much to clubs and stuff and doesn't like talking to girls."

I don't think a guy like that would become anymore "interested" in girls just because he decreased his amount of masturbating. It's a question of what kind of person you are. Some do it a lot, some do it less, there isn't necessarily a connection to how much you like talking with girls. I'm a good example of that. I don't believe the two things cancel each other out at all.

"It is also very important to be aware of the difference between pleasure and happiness. Are you a pleasure seeker or do you want to experience some kind of higher happiness in your life? For example smoking a cigarette might bring you pleasure for the moment. If you on the other hand quit smoking, by successfully conquering your habit you will permanently feel happiness over you accomplishment."

I don't understand your point at all. You are comparing masturbation to smoking? And using such terms as self control? You make it sound like some kind of forbidden fruit which should only be accessed when absolutely necessary. I can't sympathize at all with that, sorry.

"You have to understand that beautiful women get approached alot. It's preposterous to expect them to be nice and polite towards every guy that comes up to them and wants to buy them a drink."

Nonono... that's not what I meant, this, I agree with. I personally despise men who just appear out of nowhere buying drinks for girls. Not only is it utterly pathetic, but it's also a great way of saying "lol here I am drink this and let's fuck!". I am proud to announce that I've never bought a woman I don't know a drink. What I meant in my earlier post was just idle conversation basically. I believe that no matter how beautiful a woman is, she should never take that for granted. As long as the man doesn't behave like an asshole (or like a stereotypical drunk who just wants some action), the fault lies entirely with the girl if she for example insults you out of the blue.

"You maybe should have been more cheerful and supporting or whatever."

That is just silly. Let's use me as an example. How am I supposed to know how bad a girl is feeling? Saying that "It was your fault, you should have been more cheerful!" is like saying to a dead ant "It's your fault, you should have moved out of the way when that guy crushed you with his feet!".

Bitches are bitches, idiots are idiots, morons are morons. There are never any given rules when it comes to these things.

"I just want to clear something up. It just happens that I have been reading and thinking alot about these sort of things lately. These are just some of my thoughts regarding this matter. I'm not trying to force my way of thinking on anyone. You can take it or leave it."

Yep, that's what forums are all about. Sharing thoughts. :D

(and posting hentai)

[el_boss]

The way I see it, a LOT of the men out there need to dampen their overall sex-drive. It might make it so girls can actually frequent a bar without getting felt up by some asshole. ;) Masturbation is healthy!! <3
Someone with a high sex-drive is most definitely more likely to do something stupid towards a female.

I don't think a guy like that would become anymore "interested" in girls just because he decreased his amount of masturbating. It's a question of what kind of person you are. Some do it a lot, some do it less, there isn't necessarily a connection to how much you like talking with girls. I'm a good example of that. I don't believe the two things cancel each other out at all.
So what you are saying is (in this post and your previous post in answer to my first post here) :
The sex-drive of men that don't masturbate "enough" gets too high.
Men with too high sex-drive act aggressivly towards women.
Men with too high sex-drive need to masturbate more to lower their sex-drive.
Men with low sex-drive don't have different attitudes towards women than men with "normal" sex-drive.
There is no connection between masturbating seldom and becoming more willing to approach a woman.
There is no connection between masturbating alot and not having an urge to approach women.
It's part of a mans personality how much he masturbates
It's part of a mans personality how he acts towards women.
Masturbation does not effect the sex-drive which is a constant programmed in to the personality.
Sex-drive does not effect how a man acts towards a woman.It's difficult to see your point since you contradict yourself regarding several issues. If you make your reasoning more coherent I might be able to undersatnd you more clearly.

I don't understand your point at all. You are comparing masturbation to smoking? And using such terms as self control? You make it sound like some kind of forbidden fruit which should only be accessed when absolutely necessary. I can't sympathize at all with that, sorry. I wasn't really drawing any connection between the two things. I just wanted to make an easy distinction between pleasure and happiness, seems like I failed though.

You got the self-control part right, though I did not use it in the context of pleasure and happiness, but I believe that it is a relevant part of getting happiness. I was talking about the connection between not masturbating and getting out more. I'm going try and make this as simple as possible.

Let's say there are two shops in your neighborhood. A is right outside your door and B is 30 minutes away. So you always go to A because it's much easier and it saves you alot of time. Let's say for some reason that A is shut down. What do you think would happen? Would you just stand outside the door and wait for it to open again or would you start going to B?

Nonono... that's not what I meant, this, I agree with. I personally despise men who just appear out of nowhere buying drinks for girls. Not only is it utterly pathetic, but it's also a great way of saying "lol here I am drink this and let's fuck!". I am proud to announce that I've never bought a woman I don't know a drink. What I meant in my earlier post was just idle conversation basically. I believe that no matter how beautiful a woman is, she should never take that for granted. As long as the man doesn't behave like an asshole (or like a stereotypical drunk who just wants some action), the fault lies entirely with the girl if she for example insults you out of the blue. You despise men who "appear out of nowhere buying drinks for girls" but if they are nice the girl has to be nice to them?

The reason that girls don't like "can I buy you a drink" is because they have heard it probably hundreds of times. It's the same thing with every kind of ordinary conversation opener like "what's your name?" and "have I seen you before?". They've heard it all before and they have developed quick effective ways to handle guys that come up to them with these sort of things. Because they don't want to be with those guys.

That is just silly. Let's use me as an example. How am I supposed to know how bad a girl is feeling? Saying that "It was your fault, you should have been more cheerful!" is like saying to a dead ant "It's your fault, you should have moved out of the way when that guy crushed you with his feet!". Maybe the ant just like you didn't see the trouble coming. There are things you learn with time I guess. Intuition being one of them. The more you interact with women, the better you get at reading their signals.

Bitches are bitches, idiots are idiots, morons are morons. There are never any given rules when it comes to these things. Idiots are idiots and morons are moron, but bitches are not bitches if you act right. It's true that there are no given "rules" but there are things you can do to let a woman lower her bitch-shield.

[Terracosmo]

Wow, like zero of the things you claim that I said are correct.
I wonder if you read my post or just tried to analyze it and failed. :S

I am going to step away from this discussion now since obviously we just keep misunderstanding each other and that takes the fun out of talking about it.

[masamuneehs]

...
...
...
a serious in-depth discussion about masturbation...
...
I got nothing to say on this except, "Is this even worth our time to debate?"

Someone post some scientific studies, that's the only thing that can sway my opinion.

[IFHTT]

I will add one thing,...

Actually it is like a circle all dealing with self-esteem.

The majority of men that don't actively go out to women or don't put forth the effort to meet someone, don't because of something they see flawed in themselves. So in reality

Low self-esteem leads to complacence which in turn causes masturbation to be more apparent. Just because someone masturbates alot doesn't mean they won't go find a woman. Hell if someone masturbates alot they are probably that much more prone to trying to find a woman because they have a need for release.

Well this sounded good in my head but didn't turn out so well in writing and since I no longer know where I'm going with this, I'll stop. I hope you guys get the gist of what I mean.
Basically Low Selfesteem is a bitch lol.

[FrogKing]

^I did a quick search and found this. Although it doesn't address the role of masturbation and dating per se, it does deal with the role of self-control and the selection of smaller, less delayed reinforcement versus the greater delayed, large payoff (kinda like what boss and terra were talking about). Overall, the study is more concerned with the treatement of destructive behavior by mentally retarded individuals by applying various reinforcement techniques :

Behav Modif. 2000 Jan;24(1):3-29.
" Facilitating tolerance of delayed reinforcement during functional communication training."
Fisher WW, Thompson RH, Hagopian LP, Bowman LG, Krug A.
Neurobehavioral Unit, Kennedy Krieger Institute, Baltimore, MD 21205, USA.

I did skim through the study and actually found the intro and discussion it quite interesting (the rest was way to clinical for me). Specifically, I found some interesting quotes that really are in no way in support or against masturbation; but rather, just some good food for thought.
'"self-control,” defined as choosing a larger,more delayed reinforcer over a smaller, less delayed reinforcer'
"Because tolerance for delayed reinforcement correlates positively with IQ (Mischel &Metzner, 1962), it may be particularly difficult to maintain appropriate target behaviors in this population when reinforcement is delayed."

I chuckled when I tried to imagine dating individuals and how these learned process could facilitate a more successful approach to meeting people.

note: this post was merely intended as a reply to masamuneehs' request for some scientific study and is to be taken as humorous!

[masamuneehs]

so here's the (or)deal:

i started fooling around with this girl recently, no sex, but plenty of everything else and sleeping over at each others' places and all that jazz. She's a virgin and being raised Catholic in Midwest America and going to Notre Dame has meant she hasn't had much relationship experience before me...

problem isn't quite that she's a virgin, it's that she's overly attached to me.

when we started out i told her i wanted an open relationship, she said fine.
two days ago we were talking and she said that she'd be totally crushed if she found out i ever messed around with anyone else. wtf is that?

the girl doesn't realize that she's in over her head. and the more she gets attached to me, the more i want to break it off. i didn't do a semester abroad to get some serious girlfriend. i didn't want to have to worry about another person. I wanted to have fun, be free to do as a i wish and have no commitments or obligations.

so i've decided to let her go, but goddamn if i'm not such a wimp when it comes to just telling her so. honestly i'd be content with going to an open relationship, but i don't think she's up for that. i tried to talk to her today about it and she started breaking down and crying. i fucking just can't say what i want when a fucking girl is crying in front of me. so i didn't break it off, just let her know i thought things were getting too serious..

fucking drama...
advice?

[Terracosmo]

I don't believe in open relationships. I think they are the silliest thing ever to have existed. I mean if you want to be "free" to do your gig, then why even bother having that person which you eventually return to? If two people want to constantly rely on each other for intimacy, why even bother putting a label such as "relationship" on it? Those are my 2 cents about that.

As for your situation, I don't find it strange that she has become so attached to you given her upbringing and inexperience with guys. The only thing you can do is to be honest about it. Of course she'll probably be depressed for quite a while after that, but as my mother always says "Life is about breaking hearts and getting your own broken". If you didn't turn up, she would have met someone else who'd eventually make her sad. Hopefully she'll understand the situation and walk away from it as a stronger person once she gets over you.

[masamuneehs]

ahh it is amazing how muc one's fortunes can change in the matter of a few days.

so last you heard i was ensnared with this girl who was way too attached, wasn't giving me (or even trying) what I need to satisfy me and we were in this serious relationship while i'm doing a semester abroad, which is not what i wanted.

so i sat her down and talked. i told her that this wasn't what i was looking for. I came to Italy to have a good time and i didn't want to have to worry about anyone but myself for a few months. Yeah it's selfish, but i fucking deserve that every now and again. i asked her if she'd be ok taking a step back, maybe just fooling around. I know terra and maybe some others don't like the idea of an open relationship, but for god's fucking sake i'm in a foreign country for 6 months, only have 3 left, and i'm travelling often. Is it really worthwhile to get into a serious commitment with someone i'll never see again in 3 month's time? I don't think so.

She wouldn't accept an open relationship. She kept saying she wanted us to just keep going forward without worrying about the future. I told her it wasn't about the future, it was about now. She asked me if i wanted to see other girls and that this was why i was saying this. I lied and told her no (she was already in tears at this point). Anyhow, it ended with us cutting things off for the meanwhile.

Two days later one of my ex's comes into town for a night. 2 months of sexual frustration out the window.

I might have mentioned this somewhere earlier in this thread, but there was a girl I met, an American, who really caught my eye and who i thought i had chemistry with. but she'd just gotten dumped by her long-distance boyfriend and was all cracked up about it. i didn't want to deal with that.

well last night we're all out drinking a beer or four and she didn't have dinner so she gets a little drunk and says she wants to go home. we leave in a group. we split up to walk home. i live on the north east part of town and she lives even farther north, so after awhile it was just us. we get to the place where we should split up. I ask her if she'll be allright getting home, she is tipsy and lives in the not greatest part of town. She says she'll be fine. I ask her if she wants me to walk her home. She says 'do you want to?'

Yup. We go back, make PB&J sandwiches and have some racous oral sex for several hours. But were both clear that we're both "fuckbuddies" (her words, not mine) and not in a serious relationship. A-OK with me!

I feel like a little kid who just got his christmas present months in advance

[Terracosmo]

lol, masamune's italian genes are showing :D

I didn't know you could say "fuckbuddies" in english, we have a direct translation of that phrase which we use in swedish (unnecessary info but hey).

[IFHTT]

Goddamn Masa, You're the man! I'm glad you finally got a girl that views the relationship the way you want ir to be. Awesome story too, thats one you could pass down to the grandchildren some day hahaha.

[masamuneehs]

God fucking damnit I am not Italian! I simply study the language because my college requires everyone take some language classes, and I figured, why not take a semester abroad? And now i'm actually making it into a (albeit easy) 2nd major. But I'm not Italian...

Thanks for the 'feel good' pats on the back guys. I've been positevely glowing all day today :D

Oh, and here's how I originally described the situation way back on page 1



'Rebound Girl' - But wait, Masa has more! This is another girl, much more my type, that I met here in Italy. Early on her long-distance boyfriend broke up with her and we spent along time talking about it and are pretty close friends now. But I want her! And at first she was totally in that 'bad place' after the breakup, but seems to be improving (albiet slowly, she was really invested in this other guy). Slowly we've been getting a little more flirty than friendly, and one night we danced together at a club and made out for a minute or so. But after I go to the bathroom I get back and she's all up on this random guy, and I'm like 'I don't love these hoes I'm out the door' and bounce. Next day she's talking about how sketchy this guy was and how she really didn't like him, how drunk she was, not about us kissing.

Ass is ass, but I do not want to be some rebound post. Been there too many times, not my place.

looking back at it i was a fool not to move on this earlier. Then again, better late than never they say!

[Mr Squiggles]

@masa: You may not be italian, but that doesn't stop you from picking up their habits...

@terra: If you don't like the term "fuckbuddies" you can use the less vulgar term "pillow friends" too if you want :p

[mage]

a few weeks ago before i broke my leg i put this shit in some bitchs drink at a party and dragged her up to a room and fucked the shit out of her, literally. haha taught that bitch a lesson.

[Terracosmo]

mage is a role model and inspiration to us all!

[mage]

she was black, just incase anyone was wondering.

[masamuneehs]

well just when i thought i had resolved the entire 'delicate girl' situation i get into this long discussion with her last night. She had like 3 drinks in her (no tolerance whatsoever) and starts trying to get me to dance with her and kiss her. So i had to walk her outside the place, sit her down and explain to her

"Let's take a break from each other" = "Let's see other people" = "I'm trying to break up with you in a nice way (and still maybe get some casual lays once and awhile)"

Well, now it's in the books. We're officially done (and the fact that we never officially got together makes me raise my eyebrows as to why such a retraction of status had to be agreed upon) finito, hasta la never again baby.

One-sided/unequal relationships are bad news bears. I'm glad that one is over.

[NM]

Ok guys, I really need some help with this one. Its dealing with the same girl from high school that I've liked since I met her senior year. So yesterday, I was in my suitemates room since they invited me over to watch some hockey and have beer. Thats all fine and good, but then my suitemate goes onto Facebook and just starts checking people out and then decides, "Let's check out the girl Dan likes!". So they check her picture, and he clicks on the Send A Message feature (for anyone who doesn't have Facebook, you don't have to be friends with someone on there to send pm's). At first, I figured he would be joking and would not send anything. But he writes in the message, "Dan likes you." and SENDS THE MESSAGE!! :eek: I'm just like "omfg wtf I am going to do?!?!?".

Now, don't get me wrong. I do like her and all but its just that I don't know how she feels about me so thats why I've been hesitant to tell her (plus, I haven't spoken to her in awhile). Maybe she did like me before when she was talking to me and all last semester when she asked if I ever came back home for any weekends but I was a dumbass and didn't realize it. What am I going to do???????? The way I see it, there's two things she could do once she reads it.

1) She'll easily notice that he's my friend once she sees the college he's from in the message. She can now view his profile for a month so she'll see that the Common Friend is me. Maybe she'll pm him back? My suitemate knows what he did was dick and I was a little mad at him but I just felt extremely embarassed now, because I just have no freakin' idea how she feels about me. My suitemate said he'll tell me what she messages him if she even does so.

2) She may just IM me on AIM and ask me about this message. Now, I could just say he was drunk and all as an excuse but then I feel as if that would just make her think that I don't like her at all. That would just end everything.

I'm sure she hasn't checked the message since this was late at night yesterday. But she'll probably check it today since its Friday and nobody does work on a Friday. Ugh, I still can't believe she has that message. WHAT DO I DO?????

[masamuneehs]

NM: tell your friend it's time to grow up a little bit.

But, on the other hand, it might have been a blessing in disguise. Regardless of her feelings for you, you never know unless you go out and try to get her and a big part of that is making that first move. Now obviously there were probably more suave ways for that move to be made, but it's sorta out of your hands now...

You should act, but it depends on how often she checks her Facebook. I think you can see when people were last online, but i could be wrong. Either way...

I say you AIM her whenever you see her online next. Just be casual at first. If she doesn't mention it shoot the shit for a little while. But eventually you should tell her what happened and say you're sorry your friends are so immature.

Next comes the hard part... figuring out her reaction and seeing how to respond. Girls do like to hear 'yeah, back in high school i had a crush on you' or 'well yeah you are pretty hot'. or whatever fits your style. If you want to make something with her you'll have to put your feelings out there. Saying the 'i DID like you' is probably better than 'i DO like you', especially since you cant see her reaction face-to-face now. But imply that you might just be interested come summer...

Denying it is no good, it's now a matter of how to smoothly phrase it.

Fishing.
Your friend already threw your line in the water, and probably with some pretty crappy bait on it... But now the rod is in your hands. You can reel it back in and put on some good bait or you can work with what you have. Think of this 'crappy' bait as being a way to get the fish hungry.
But since you're fishing for one specific kind of fish you'll need to tailor your lure/bait for that particular fish.
Good luck.

[XanBcoo]

I agree with Masa. This could be your chance for something to happen between the two of you. Granted, your friend was being really immature and the situation could have run its course a lot more smoothly, but now you are in a position to do something about it. Because of what happened, you have a bit more room to act since you were not forced into an outright confession (which can be daunting). The confession isn't pinned on you, so you'll be able to play it safe, and have a better chance of finding out how she feels about you.

Doesn't seem like such a terrible situation actually. Good luck.

[el_boss]

Just go for it man. What's the worst thing that can happen? I'll answer that for you, she'll say I like you as a friend or some shit like that. Case closed. It probably wouldn't make any difference whatever you said/did in this situation if you get this response. What's the best thing that can happen? I'll let you think about that for yourself.

I'll go the extra mile and write an example of what you can say to her. I don't know the exact situation so some of this might be alittle off.

Dan: Hey X I need to ask you a personal question
X: OK?
Dan: If you get wierded out or uncomfortable in any way just tell me to go fuck myself.
X: What's the question?
Dan: Are you single?
Here she can say yes, no or why do you ask?
Xno: Dan: Oh ok, I bet your boyfriend is really happy
Xwhy?: Dan: I'm just curious
Xyes: Dan: Awesome, why haven't you asked me out yet?
X: tihi

If you don't want to ask if she is single, ask her if she can meet you or something. You preferrably want to tell her your feelings in person, with eye contact.

The main idea here is to just say it. If you want to know how she feels about you, you have to try and find out. Take action god fucking damn it.

I have a super quote as usual:
"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."

[masamuneehs]

i like that quote Boss, but I think i've seen it in a slightly different form...

I enjoy these
"You must lose a fly" (or a worm, I personally prefer worms...) "to catch a trout."
"Theres a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
and this Chinese proverb "You cannot hook trout? Try digging clams."

to the point: you'll do fine man, just be yourself and have confidence

[NM]

I appreciate the advice guys, I really do. Here's an update (just came back from work):

As soon as I came back from work, I happened to see her online on my buddy list. I was thinking I'd give her a few minutes, hoping she would be the one to IM me about that message. And if she didn't, I figured I'd IM her. But as soon as I came back from being away...she signed off...she wasn't away either, she was online and not idle.

I also decided to check Facebook to see if I got anything from her but there was nothing. My suitemate got nothing either. The problem is...she updated her profile, meaning she must have seen the message. And I got nothing from her. All she updated was her major and music, nothing else. So...any idea what this means?

[ChaosK]

I think she takes it for granted that you friend was playing a prank on you, or she wants you to bring it up.

[el_boss]

It's all in your mother fucking head. Stop analysing! It doesn't mean anything. And even if it did you won't find anything out by just thinking about it.

"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing."

[PSJ]

NM i read all of the story and that she didn't answer just doesn't mean anything. You need to bring it up if you like her, talk to her about it. If she doesn't feel the same way you can just move on and if she does well then you're happy. Going around just thinking about it just doesn't solve anything and just makes you feel bad.

Go for it man, you got nothing to lose.

[masamuneehs]

Agree with PSJ (and jesus this is scary but also) with Chaoskiddo. It don't mean jack shit. Stop sweating.

[NM]

Wow, everyone here has alot of confidence in me. :) Alright, you guys are right, theres really nothing for me to lose. And thinking about it is gonna get me nowhere. If I can catch her on AIM, then I'll talk to her and hopefully try and lead into it. Summer vacation is coming up so hopefully that will be helpful and I can chat it up with her or something...but I'll keep you guys updated on what happens (it might be awhile since she's probably going to have finals soon, same for me as well).

[NM]

Alright, well I just finished talking with her online. Just letting you guys know, I didn't really get anywhere, but I think now maybe the silence is broken and I can IM her regularly (I hope). Here's how it went:

Me: hey! did u happen to get a message from one of my suitemates named will?
Her: hey...haha yes i did
Her: i wrote him back and told him to say hi to u
Her: lol, yeah, he just told me
Me: he's like, "yo dan, i totally just got a message back from that girl. she said hi and good luck to u"
Me: so im like "what" and he says he sent u a message
Me: lol
Her: yea i did say that too...on ur finals
Me: lol
Her: so u never knew
Her: haha
Me: not at all
Her: thats hilarious
Me: until today
Me: lol
Me: ill be smacking him in the head tomorrow tho, lol
Her: very funny....those buddies of urs
Her: im was laughing...i ws talkign to a total stranger
Her: but its all good...
Her: how are ur finals going btw
Her: did u start them
Me: just had my bio final on thursday
Me: that one went ok i think
Me: came back home to have my dad help me with physics
Me: because
Me: physics sucks =/
Her: yea i can totally agree with u there
Her: have absolutely no interest in it at all
Her: and i can't wait till its over
Her: but theni have to take the second semester in the fall
Me: o yea, ur doing pre-med now right?
Her: yea pre dental
Me: yea! haha
Me: same
Her: no way...haha thats funny
Her: yea im thinking about it
Her: my sis is doing it now
Her: so she's kinda like u should do it
Me: its worth it in the end, u got nothin to lose really
Her: nope very true, but its A LOT of work
Her: no joke
Her: and thats going to be a pain
Me: lol, i agree with ya, but i just keep telling myself what my current bio professor tells me
Me: "u only have to study once, we dont ask u to do it again"
Me: he's a doctor so he knows
Me: lol
Her: no thats true...but its like study constantly for 2 years
Her: ughhh
Me: lol, u can get through it
Her: oh well....we'd be workign otherwise, so what the heck right
Me: yep
Me: just think of it as AP chem all over again
Me: lol
Her: a never ending AP chem...but we did get thru that
Me: yep, so u'll be fine
Her: yea we'll see how it goes
Her: for now gt get through physics
Me: i knowwww
Me: worst. science. ever
Her: seriously
Me: how u doin in it?
Her: well there's a huge curve so hopefully with that ill get a B
Her: otherwise i'd eb failing
Her: haha
Me: im in the same boat as u
Me: my final exam is gonna determine our final grade
Me: so if i get an A, i walk out with it
Her: prob can't wait to get that over with huh?
Her: that would be amazing
Me: omg
Me: if i make it through with a B, i will rejoice
Me: otherwise ill be wasting june taking it over again =(
Her: u would
Me: yep, at my college if u retake a course and u do better than u did last time, the grade on ur transcript will change and ur gpa will go up
Me: but the old grade wont disappear i think
Her: hmm but still that would be a pain to take over again
Me: i know
Me: oh man, its 4 hours monday through thursday in june
Me: i cant take 4 hours of physics a day
Me: lol
Her: i know...seriously, i dont know how anyone does it
Me: lol, same here, bio and chem totally own physics
Me: =D
Her: lol, so when's ur last day
Me: hmm, ive got my chem and physics final wednesday, and then my calc final is on the following monday
Me: so next monday and im out
Me: how about u?
Her: wednesday of that week is my last one
Her: i have nothign next week and then one mond, tues, and wed
Me: not bad
Me: i cant wait for summer to start
Her: i know....it was quick
Me: yeahhhh, freshman year is already over
Her: although i am takign a summer class
Her: just twice a weel
Her: week
Me: cool, what class?
Her: world mythology...lol, it fufills 2 requirements, so i figure i might as well
Me: nice, might as well get whatever u can fast
Me: is that why it says Rutgers 08 for u?
Her: haha...yea im planning on doing it in 3 years if i can
Her: but we'll see
Me: lol, thats a good plan
Me: so what else has been up?
Her: umm nothing really, been spenign a fortune on gas driving to school
Her: spending*
Me: ugh, i think its like 2.59 now right?
Me: i hear its gonna be at least 3 over the summer
Her: no its like 2.80 now
Her: and yea it should be going up
Her: my tank costs like over 50 to fill now
Me: =-O
Me: thats insanity
Her: i know...
Her: oh well, i do like the driving tho
Her: so, i get over it
Her: lol
Me: lol, thats a good way to think about it
Me: is ur summer class at ur college?
Her: yep
Me: ouch =/ thats gonna be alot more if u commute there for ur class
Me: same here for me if i gotta take physics over the summer =/
Her: yea but its only 2wice a week so thats better than everyday...
Her: well then i guess u better make sure u do wel now
Me: gahhhh, physics is destroying all that is good in my life, lol
Her: its almost over
Her: lol
Me: im hoping my friend can let me stay at one of his friends apartments thats like 5 minutes off campus
Me: if i have to take the class
Me: otherwise, driving to rowan at like 5 in the morning should be joyful, lol
Her: yea ...that might not be good
Her: i guess u can worry about it
Her: if it comes to that
Me: true that
Me: what classes do u have now anyways?
Her: um a psych class, stat, spanish, physics and the lab, and sociology
Me: cool
Me: i havent even started any of my gen ed courses, lol. for me its like all 3 sciences, math, and writing
Her: yea gotta get that stuff over with i guess
Her: hows ur scedule look for next semester
Me: not that bad, i got fridays and mondays off :-D
Her: thats awesome!
Me: har har, i know
Her: 4 day weekends....can't beat that
Me: lol, i couldnt believe i was able to pull that off myslef
Me: myself*
Her: thats going to be great
Her: mines 5 days
Me: 5 day weekend?
Her: no 5 day week...haha
Me: ooo
Me: i was gonna be like
Me: =-O that totally owns my schedule
Me: lol
Her: yea no way
Her: not even close
Me: lol
Me: =P
Me: what classes u got for next semester?
Her: 2 psych, orgo, physics, and stat
Me: nice
Me: organic should be something to look forward to =/
Me: some people tell me its not that bad and others tell me its a nightmare
Me: lol
Her: yea i know i hear that too, but i think i got a good prof so it should be okay i hope
Her: and sofia is taking it withme
Her: so she canhelp
Me: nice!
Me: how's sofia doin?
Her: she doign really good
Her: moving right along, doing research stuff over the summer
Her: keepign busy
Me: sweet, same here
Me: i also got some research stuff for the summer
Her: oh yea
Her: thats really good
Me: yeahh, doin it mainly for lab experience
Me: dunno if i get paid over the summer
Her: yea some are and some aren't i think
Her: but either way it looks good
Me: yep, doin it mainly for the experience but the commute should be oh so fun
Me: lol
Her: well if the apartment thing worked out that would be good
Me: yeah, i hope so
Me: all the apartments that are close to campus were full so finding someone who has one and is staying over the summer was gonna be hard. luckly my friend in bio told me he could try and get me into his friends
Her: yea that would be great, make sure to work on that
Her: hey i gtg actually, but nice catching up
Me: yep yep
Her: good luck on ur finals too
Me: thanks! u too =)
Me: ill cya over the summer sometime?
Her: yeah, its going to be nice everyone comes home for the summer again, so we can all catch up
Me: yeah, sounds like a plan, this summer should be awesome
Her: yea hopefully, okay well have a good night, byebye
Me: cya

Like I said, didn't really get far. My plan was to eventually ask her what the first message my suitemate sent her said and go from there somehow but it just never came up. I was also kinda hoping when I asked her if I'll see her again this summer it would be just us but she expanded that to everyone. =/ Tomorrow I'm hoping that once I'm back in my dorm, I can talk to her after the show "Grey's Anatomy" (kickass show) is on since we both like it alot. What do you guys think?

[Yukimura]

Read this whole thread out of boredom and intrest in interpersonal relationships, I've stopped bothering with pretty much everything this semester and girls werer never that high on my list of things i'd put effort into anyway, I have enough trouble going to the store to feed myself. However I love to observe others and thus I feel my advice to NM isn't completely worth disregaurding.

From the convo it seems she think of you as a friend, which is good, though just a friend. I believe I had that same conversation with a female friend of mine this time my freshman year. Try and spend some time with her over the summer and see what happens, just remember that summer relationships rarely last.

I've heard there are ways to shape situations like yours into more, reguardless of the girls initial level of interest. However they depend upon the girl's self-image and the guy's ability to be something he might not truly be. Anyway I don't believe that such methods usualy result in real relationships, just fancy brain washing. If the girls not into you, she's not into you, and you shouldn't be with a girl who doesn't like you for you as you are.

A question for the thread: Should guys play the games women start, or should we move on and find a girl who shoots strraight. I've seen both methods succeed and both fail but i'm not sure if anything was a relatively special circumstance.

[masamuneehs]

*reads that long ass conversation of which only 1/10th is pertinent to the discussion here*

Didn't I say to shoot the shit BEFORE bringing it up? That's why your conversation got derailed, cuz there was all the 'how's school doin?' crap still left to talk about.

In fishing one thing you do when your line is in the water is jiggle it around, reeling it in slowly to make the fish go after it. Basically that action is the 'shooting the shit', getting the formalities of
'hi Mr. Fish I'm a nice juicy worm'
'oh hello Mr. Worm, my you look good but may you be just a fisherman's trap?'
'Not at all my friend! Watch I move just like all live worms in water'
(fisherman jerks the rod -wow that sounds nasty- and makes the worm move)
'See! I'm perfectly healthy!'
'Well, you do look juicy so...'

And the second the fish bites on the hook you do not jiggle the worm around, you don't shoot the shit, you reel that sucker in to where you want it to be, squirming and flopping around like a virgin on a footballer player's prom night on the floor of your boat.

When you start to get to the point, GET THERE! Make sure there's no ways the conversation can deviate.

Oh, and you already did it so I suppose it can't be helped, but you should have just told her the actual circumstances of it happening (leaving out the 'oh we're going to check out the girl you like on Facebook' line). You're not sure if your friend messaged her back with info to the contrary ("Yeah he was sorta pissed") and then some time later you tell her "Oh I just found out" and shit doesn't add up.

As for future prospects:
You should totally keep pursuit, especially hanging out with her over the summer.
You should definitely hang out with her and do/talk about stuff you both have in common. TV shows are a good start but also try music, movies, RL issues, fun times in the past, and of course, the social lubricant and liquid courage of our lives: booze!
You ever think she might Google your screenname? Cuz it would lead her right to your forum accounts you know.
It does seem like you're just friends now, but since she seems to be looking forward to seeing you over the summer that might mean there's potential for more.

As for Yukimura's question:
Depends on your mood, on the girl (if she's worth it), and on the kind of game. Lots of girls play games as a kind of 'proving ground' test to see if a guy might be right. I'll admit, I like winning those games, so long as I don't have to jump through hoops. There's a difference between a game being challenging and fun and a game being a pain-in-the-ass and not.

I shoot straight when I think I have a clear shot. Alot depends on the girl.

[NM]

As for future prospects:
You should totally keep pursuit, especially hanging out with her over the summer.
You should definitely hang out with her and do/talk about stuff you both have in common. TV shows are a good start but also try music, movies, RL issues, fun times in the past, and of course, the social lubricant and liquid courage of our lives: booze!
You ever think she might Google your screenname? Cuz it would lead her right to your forum accounts you know.
It does seem like you're just friends now, but since she seems to be looking forward to seeing you over the summer that might mean there's potential for more.

I'll definetly try and hang out with her over the summer. Hopefully SOMETHING will happen. I think drunk stories is another good topic to talk about although she doesn't drink at all. But I've got alot of funny stories so maybe that will help. By the way, you really think she would Google my screenname? I just removed my screenname from my profile to be safe but...I don't think anyone would really put someones screenname into Google to see what pops up. But then again, I guess you never know. I'll keep you guys posted if anything new happens.

[darkshadow]

Masa is right, all you did was talk about school, it seems you let yourself get led by her, instead of leading her, next time, get a grip on the convo, and hold it.
dont keep going to long on another subject, or she might have to "gtg" again before you get the chance to say/ask what you wanted to

[dragonrage]

Lol, I really enjoy some of Masamuneehs metaphors, they are very entertaining. As the others have said you basically talked about school and nothing else. If you really want to get this girl you have to strike up a more personal convo. that way she will know that you are interested and well think of it as recon work. So that you will know exactly what you are getting yourself into, and exactly what she likes and dislikes.

[rockmanj]

Well, this is kinda strange, but i met some chick on vacation that wans me o like visit and keep in touch or whatever, but i dont really feel comfortable with the whole thing, plus i dont even know how to call he chick. I dont know if i should smash it one more time before i leave or explain the apprehension...then smash one more time...decisions, decisions...

[el_boss]

I don't really think she is out to get you in to a relationship. She's on vacation and she wants to have some fun. The reason she said that stuff to you is so that she doesn't need to feel bad for being a "slut". She can blame you and say "I told him I wanted see him again blablabla", "it just happened" and so on. With the social pressure put on women in this day and age, you can't really blame her for acting this way.

So even if you decide to lie to her and say that you will keep in touch or go ahead and tell her the truth that you just want to "smash one more time" it will have the same result. She is just using you for sex.:)

[rockmanj]

shes not on vacation, though. she lives here and stuff, but i mean, its been screwfest 84 here. Whatever ill keep in touch when i happen to come back here. always good to have a backup plan. P.S. What? u thought i wasnt usin her for the same?

[el_boss]

Ok, it's pretty much the same if it's only you that's on vacation. You will be gone and can't tell anyone.

It was pretty obvious what you wanted out of the interaction. I just said even if you are honest about your intentions, she will still probably have sex with you.

[rockmanj]

yea..actually shes sendin emails now, and wants me to stop by before i leave now. I was like, i dont know yet...maybe. I mean, it might be good to errr...get some mer exercise before i board the plane back to korea.

[Terracosmo]

Me: hey! did u happen to get a message from one of my suitemates named will?
Her: hey...haha yes i did
Her: i wrote him back and told him to say hi to u
Her: lol, yeah, he just told me
Me: he's like, "yo dan, i totally just got a message back from that girl. she said hi and good luck to u"
Me: so im like "what" and he says he sent u a message
Me: lol

I like how you start talking like a retard when you chat with a girl online. :D

"I totally just got a message" XD
That's weird since you normally write so good.
I guess it's part of the american teenage (and early 20ies) culture...

[rockmanj]

I like how you start talking like a retard when you chat with a girl online. :D

"I totally just got a message" XD
That's weird since you normally write so good.
I guess it's part of the american teenage (and early 20ies) culture...


ahh, so european men are much more jaded, and therefore aren't reduced to babbling idiots around women at times? (im not sayin i do, cuz i dont, but you know...).

[rockmanj]

^bump ...

Geez, im suprised masa isnt keeping this thread going...guess ill give it a shot, then.

So, me being the colossal drunken idiot i am scheduled myself a date this upcoming saturday. But i mean, if im posting about it it cant be just that simple, right? Right. My friend had told me about this huge party this upcoming saturday afternoon, and that said party would have unlimited amounts of alcohol available from 4pm onwards (sounds like a challenge, not an advertisement). Anyway i had met a girl last week, while like, shitfaced drunk, and i talked to her because i noticed she was also shitfaced drunk...and unfortuantely i cannot remember what she looks like for the life of me (im guessing she is cute), but i had been talking to her this week. And somehow i had let it slip that i was going to that party with my friends, and that it was in the proximity of where she would be. So she kind of invited herself along ( :-\ ).
And now i hear there are supposed to be a lot of hot chicks at this party...along with free booze. So i told the girl to come at a much later time than i was going, so problem psuedo-solved. However, there is another situation brewing...Theres another girl that i met that is friends with a girl my friend has been talking to, and she kinda wants to get to know me, it think. And my friend has invited her, along with her friend to the party, much to my chagrin. And then there's the risk of the other girl ive been talking to showing up. So, i wonder how this will play out...

[el_boss]

I can't see what the problem is. If you're not interested in the girls, just tell them. It's not like you have made a commitment to any of them.

[darkshadow]

make sure you meet up with that girl, without the other ones around, tell your friends you are going to get a drink or something at the time she will come, then wait till she comes to you, and tell her to fuck off :P, then go back to the other girl :D

[PSJ]

I agree with el_boss on this one i mean how hard can it be? Dissing girls aren't anything to hard, just tell her that you aren't interested. But try to keep all the options avaible for as long as possible, it should give you plenty of oppurtunities.

NM: one thing i would think is very important, try to keep the drunk stories to a minimum especially since she is not drinking, it has the risk of coming out as pretty shallow. If you got nothing better to talk about than drunk stories she could get very uninterested. If you know what she is interested in try to talk about that, as long as you keep the konversation going it will turn out positive.

[rockmanj]

Actually, i kinda dug my self out the hole, i mean im not trying to be bogus to girls i just met...yet, anyway. But I told one i woul dmeet up with her on sunday, and i made my friend uninvite the other girl, So now I should be cool...unless i get sloshed, then either hilarity will ensue, or nothing good will come of it. But I mean, this girl is kind of a heavy drinker too ( the main reason I talked to her was because i noticed she was drunk in a corner, arent i just the nicest guy??). So maybe things will work out in my favor after all

[PSJ]

Talking to a really drunk girl can have other reasons than being nice ;)

Sounds like you solved the problem, go get them man and happy hunting.

[complich8]

Don't feed the trolls, people. Now back to your regularly scheduled emotions.

[Terracosmo]

So my "girlfriend" is here right now. I honestly don't know if we're together or not.

All I know is that she's here, will stay here for a week, and that the schedule consists of watching movies, having sex and drinking pepsi max.

I can cope with that.

[Knives122]

Wouldn't it just be better if you did the second thing the entire week?..........

[Terracosmo]

The second thing? Drinking pepsi max? Yeah, that would be great.

But seriously, no, I get bored quickly with sex. It's best in mild doses.

[Lucifus]

Well now. I'm just hatching out of my shell(shyness)

Got a decked out wardrobe, some kool friends and gonna be starting my sophomore year of High School soon. I didn't talk to girls much before(shy as shyt) but my shell finally cracked in the last quarter of my freshmen year.My self-confidence is off the charts. I'm still a bit immature but wthay, it'll pass.

Looking over this thread I noticed the number one problem stated is: Missed Opportunities.

I've been crushing on 3 girls recently, all hot, but i'm only really interested in one of em.


Anyways, I'll keep you all up to date.

Who better to get advice from than our very own Terra.:D

[Terracosmo]

Me and "gf" just watched the first Z Gundam movie and then we had a Ebichu (Housekeeping Hamster) marathon.

She wasn't particularly fond of Z (the movie's pacing is in a class of it's own), but we both adored Ebichu.

Yes, this is looking great.

Oh and btw I love the sound females make when you cover their mouths while having sex with them. You know, when they want to moan, but can't because their mouths are covered. So damn hot.

[lisaa]

hehe wow, go terra! at least your life seems some what adventerous and fun.
@ lucifus: go for it ! hehe you can do it
ahh as for my love life.. what love life? i somewhat like someone who's like.. WAY out of reach, but i don't really like him, well i do, but.. don't , if you get me. Thats what i said to my guy friend and he says "I dont get the way girl's think, it's either you like him or you dont" and im like" i dont, but do" and his like " you girls are just odd"
i guess we are odd, we can't make up our mind! damn girls.

[Yukimura]

i guess we are odd, we can't make up our mind! damn girls.
OMG a girl who might actaully 'get it'. Try not to let the implications of what you've said slip past you, it might help you to not make a fool out of yourself later in life.

@Terra: I agree with you wholeheartedly! They do make devices to help facilitate such situations, as well as avoid any undesired flesh-to-tooth encounters.

[PSJ]

@Terra: So how many times do you go at it before you take a break and do something else? Is the girl any good?

@Lisaa: So what you mean is you would love to fuck the guy but don't want a relationship?

@Lucifus: sounds great man, growing confidence is the best thing that can happen to ya. It will be prefect if it keeps growing forever.

I'll give you an update on some shit about my relationship life just for the kicks of it.

Got myself a girlfriend 6 weeks ago, so yea things are working out fine. She has freaked on me a couple of times but fuck nothing to serious. As for fuck, well yea the sex is pretty great. Going at it at least 3 times when we are at it. Did that for 5 days in a row, i think i peaked at 6 times one day. I was fucking dead tired after those 5 days. But it was 5 good days i tell ya that.

[lisaa]

@ Yukimura: haha i guess that's just the way girls are. Guy's minds are easy. it's you like her or you dont. but in a girl's mind ; they go through many different stages before saying they "like someone" haha and thanks for the warning, i'll try not to make a fool out of myself.
@ PSJ: haha no i dont want to have sex with him. I'm a bit young for that, i think, if i did it would be illegal. A lot of things are "illegal" here! But at least you seem to have a fun love life. Keep it up! hehe

[PSJ]

Ah, how old are you?

[Lucifus]

Erased for Lucifus is shy....

[Knives122]

The is the only one you need "Hey I like you and you're hot, lets go have sex. I'tll be the best b-day present of them all."

[Terracosmo]

Knives, quit being such a virgin.

Lucifus, grow additional balls. Don't be afraid of rollercoasters. If you can't ride them, how will you ever manage to survive being married to a woman?

Lines, topics - there are no sure-fire tricks. Be yourself. Be talkative, but don't be a stalker. Talk about things you like, talk about things she likes, and if the chemistry is good the topics will come by themselves.



On a sidenote, my "girlfriend" is now officially my girlfriend. Weeee.

[Kagemane_no_Jutsu]

Well......

Experts of Gotwoot...I need your help....:confused:

Well....I just on my first official -obviously a date/but lets not call it that-

My bros got a new Gf, and they planned to go to Busch Gardens. He invited me, and his new gfs younger niece. (15) Well we went, got some food before we went in. Talked for like 30 seconds to her about why she has no pets, what school she goes to etc...

Well....the first thing they want to do is...well...go on a roller coaster.......:o

They had me go on all 4 Busch Gardens rollercoasters (the Gawzi, the Sheikra, the Kumba, and the Monthy Phyton....) I don't fit well with rollercoasters and only went on one before.

Anyway, in the car....no conversation...

All in all....in the entire day we had about 4 minutes of conversation.......... and alot of me shiting myself over the rollercoasters..
(Which I vow never to ride again no matter how nice a girl is!)

In the first 2 hours, it was decent enough.....had a bit of small talk every now and then, she put ice down my shirt when I wasn't looking and I nearly pissed myself, (also was about to turn around and punch someone the hell out when I saw it was her.......:eek: )
The last 3 hours was unbearable with a whole lot more of my pissing and shyting myself from the rollercoasters....

On the ride back...She slept the entire time........woke up at McDonalds, got a soda, when we got to her place, she took the car and left...with just a simply goodbye..........

I'm invited to her sweet 16 and all but I'm pretty sure I blow my chances a earlier......

This is her.=P Shes pretty hot, nice eyes, and her hair was still awesome even after 4 rollercoasters. Her obvious love for death defying rides was a turn-off though.:( At the very least, I grew some balls getting on those rollercoasters....
http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/8771/dcam0009ef0.jpg

Anyway....Please Gotwoot......Pimp me out before my sohpmore year of school starts.:D

I need conversation starters, and topics that I can easily remember! I had a bunch but forgot them instantly in her presence......:(

Needless to say this was a big blow to my self-confidence....but ftw! I need to take a Pimp 101 class....

Edit: As soon as I got home I tried to get some sleep, but just layed in my bed for about an hour because everytime I closed my eyes I felt dizzy, everything I looked at looked like rollercoaster tracks. And I just couldn't fall to sleep.....So I decided to come write my report here....

Now I'm going to try and get some sleep...God..I feel messed up...

busch gardens in flordia? if so you can just go across the street to the waterpark and chill by the volleyball courts and shit. always fun

and yea rides are fun, not trying to be mean but you shouldnt be a vagina. I've done TONS of retarted shit I never thought I would do for girls this year so yea I think riding some fun rollercoasters isn't too bad.

[el_boss]

@Lucifus: You really didn't have much maneuverability in the situation you described. Basically you were your brothers wingman and your main task in such a situation is to not fuck shit up and make him look good (by not fucking shit up).

As for the party. Go there and have fun with all her friend. Don't just sit in a corner and wait for her to come talk to you. Prepare som stupid games and shit like that, preferably games that make the victim look really stupid for falling for it. If you know any magic tricks, just do that shit. But beware to not become a dancing monkey. Make them do stuff for you if they want to see more. Work the room, be social. Show everyone that you are a fun guy. Don't zero in on her, there will probably be alot of hoes at the party, so don't limit your options.

If your brother is good with chick, I urge you to study him and actually ask him for help if you need it. You should get to know some guys that are naturally good with chicks and just watch them operate. I'm not talking about jock-type guys, they usually have no skills except their looks and being able to find the drunkest chick at the party.

[PSJ]

Lucifus, the main problem you have is insecurity when it comes to the opposite sex. We'll start with the first thing. You didn't blow any chances, she invited you, a guy she just met to her sweet 16 and that means you didn't fuck up to terribly.

You are at a time where you need to swallow that god damn insecurity and just go with the flow of things, start conversation, keep it going if she isn't willing to take the command. I was on a date once with a girl that had close to no interests at all she just replied with "exactly" on everything i said, if she is like this, bail as fast as you can. It isn't worth it. However it will always be a bit tense in the begining but that's normal, both are afraid of doing something unexpected or stupid that makes the other person lose interest.

Don't be afraid of doing a minor slip or something, if you can make her laugh you are on the right track, it doesn't matter if she laughs at you or with you(this is of course only from my own experience and may vary from girl to girl). If she can laugh she will feel good when talking to you and that is the key to it all. I always try to make the girl laugh, gives her sort of a sense of security.

The main thing you shouldn't forget is that she isn't the only girl in the world, if it doesn't work then go and find yourself a new target. I mean you met her once, it's not like you have a crush on her or something right?

You have plenty of room to fuck up some while learning. The old trial and error works in this case, just try not to be an asshole. About what el_boss said about doing stuff that makes people interested, you need to keep it subtle. If you look to desperate while pulling something like that it will have the reverse effect. I will also agree with el_boss on the note of being social, try to have fun at the party and don't think of her to much. She invited you and if she notices that you are enjoying yourself and having fun chances are that she will get interested, a happy person is much more attractive than a gloomy looking person.

Don't think to much.

[masamuneehs]

so, totally necroposting this thread because i am so distraught.

well, this is totally new to you all, but I've been in the horrible position of being "best friend" to the woman I love for about 7+ years now. I've fought with my emotions countless times and always resolved to let her go. I've talked with her and her numerous boyfriends and have assurred them that I have no interest in her any more.

Well, that's simply not the case. I love this girl. I love her to death. The term unconditional love was created to describe how I feel about her. There's no way around it. I've known her for years (9 now) and I don't think I've ever not really been totally crazy for her. There's been times when I've convinced myself otherwise, when I've said otherwise, but those were lies and convienent statements made to alleviate my (and sometimes her) state of mind.

The worst part of all this is that we are best friends now. She's confided in me about everything in her life, things I will keep to the grave. I've told her all of my secrets and shortcomings and everything in between. I could never have asked for a better friend, and we've both reassurred each other that this bond is something special that has benefited the both of us throughout our lives.

What can make this worse? The fact that she flirts with me constantly. She is quite the "loose woman". All of my friends, save myself, have slept with her. She's slept with lots of men, but this doesn't make me think any less of her. But there are so many times when she will simply embrace me in public, make me dance with her (even if it's just us alone in her living room) and kiss me in public. It's gotten to the point where I can't pick up girls when she's around because they think I and her are an item.

So, where is this coming from right now? Well, she's been with this guy, a friend of mine no less (I know just about everyone in town from my time as herb provider) for over a year now. About two months ago they had a massive fight and broke up. But they got sorta back together a few weeks ago, seeing each other but never making anything official. Well, tonight was St. Patty's Day and we all went out to the bars. Tonight she was very aggressive with me, to the point where I had to physically push her away from me. I simply refuse to mess around with a taken girl, even if I want her. I have my pride.

I wind up driving her over to his house. We talk for a minute and hang out. He's a total nerd, and is playing a video game, which she hates. She starts getting mad. He gets upset. They start fighting, right in front of me. I decide to let them have their privacy. I go to leave, but she comes after me and tells me to wait, that she wants me to take her home. It's about two miles home for her, below freezing. I tell her I'll wait. But soon they're fighting so hard that I can't stand it and walk outside to my car.

Out at my car I can't help but overhear part of their fight. The guy is a very nice guy, but he's a total loser who still lives with his parents at 25 and has no college education, no real job, no real future. And she knows how to push his buttons. I can hear them fighting, screaming no less. This tears me up, but I know my place. I'm just a friend, right? So I stay and wait. But I happen to overhear some things, some very bad things that he says to her. I also hear her mention me, mention that I'd probably treat her better and that if she wasn't so crazy for this guy that she'd try to make something with me. What am I to do? I wait for almost an hour, but she doesn't come out. So I leave.

and i have no idea what to do about this situation anymore, so i am appealing to you, fairly complete strangers, to give me some advice, some indication of what I should do.

edit - oh, this thread takes me back, way back to when Terracosmo was semi-straight even...

[RedX1z]

Perhaps, you're taking this situation the wrong way.

I know you've loved her for seven years and all, but how long do you think those bonds will last? You can't revolve your love life around a bond that has the possibility of going no where. I'm not saying kick her out of your life or anything, but rather "keep your distance, but keep her close at the same time.". You do your thing, she does her thing, everyone has to move on. If this continues, I don't see how the situation can be in your favor, nor even be the least bit fair to you.

Or..

You can be patient and eventually she'll come around, but either way it's a gamble. It's the matter of how patient you can be, and how far it'll go?

Your situation seems intense, and I'm not even completely sure what should be done, but for now that's the best I can do.

Off Topic: Looking back at this thread made me realize how I've grown with the help of everyone here. I feel old..

[Terracosmo]

If she hasn't realized after all these years that you're the man she wants, then clearly it's a lost cause. I'm familiar with the concept of close friends turning into love interests (who isn't?) but it is my experience that sometimes it's better to kill off those desires and instead take it for what it is. Also I think the human heart/mind/whatever by default increases one's lust after friends just because there's always this certain "air of ease" around. I don't really know how to describe it, but it's really easy to love somebody that's close to you. I think that's because you feel so comfortable in a good friendly relationship, or something.

BUT THEN AGAIN, who am I to say. The loving warrior inside me would probably attempt some kind of move anyway, despite all odds. Also I am sure that I wouldn't be able to take the mental challenge that constitutes the fact that she has been with almost all your friends. Here people work differently, some are better at ignoring the past of one's partner, but I'd never be able to do that. Of course in this day and age it is almost a must that the person you start dating has "been with" at least someone you know (or know of), but still.

Drama, drama.

[el_boss]

Have you told her how you feel?

If you have, then she's just using you. If you haven't, well then it's really hard to assess the situation, because your telling everything from your view.

You have to ask yourself if your ready to do what it takes to resolve this situation, if you really want to resolve. If the answer is yes I can give some advice.

[complich8]

Sounds like oneitis to me.

Prescription:
(1) realize she's using you for an emotional crutch, and that she doesn't want you, just wants the unconditional support that she should be getting from her boyfriend.
(2) realize that the only time she's possibly going to turn to you instead of her current fuckbait is when she gets hurt, and you're going to feel like a complete ass if you take advantage of her then.
(3) go get some action somewhere else.

Understanding "ladder theory" can help, too.

[masamuneehs]

well, i suppose i deserve these kinds of remarks. but it's tough. i have tried to "let go" numerous times, and even after convincing myself that i shouldn't feel anything for her, i bounce back to my old ways.

i don't want to abandon her as a friend, and she does know how I feel. Obviously this hurts my cause, since she does use me as an emotional crutch, like comp said. I know what I should do, but it's difficult. As irrational as it probably is, I think I'm going to take one last shot, one last attempt, and leave everything on the table. I hate giving up, even if it is a lost cause.

getting action isn't the problem. I do get around quite a bit. But I've never felt as strongly for anyone as I do for her. And I am not the type who settles for the Silver Medal.

If this doesn't work out, and it almost surely won't, then perhaps I'll try a different kind of fishing...

thanks for the support, er, constructive criticism, guys. i'll keep you posted. and next time I promise not to be such a whiny bitch.

[The Heretic Azazel]

Knowing every penis in town has been in it is usually a turn off for me, and who knows what std's she has?

Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.

[DB_Hunter]

Not my thing to give advice on this sort of thing, given my previous stance on similar issues. However, the following is generic advice which isn't restricted to the gf/bf model.

Masa, two options.

1) Try and pull the girl. IMO, you're gonna fail, for reason outlined earlier that if she aint responded by now, forget it. Why try anyway? Because if you're like me, then even if you know you are gonna lose this one but can't stop thinking about it, get it out of your system. Once you have failed its gonna sting real, real bad. Your might feel a range of emotions, the only thing they will have in common is that they will all be intense. You might hate yourself for going through with it afterwards, but you will have learnt your lesson.

2). Dont do it. If you can live with it, walk away. You save yourself the above from option 1, but since you wouldn't have gotten burnt there is a chance you might do this all again, either with the same person or someone else.

Either way I don't think your "friendship" with this girl is going to survive. The only way it can is if you stay stuck in this no-man's land, and we can all see this is not sustainable. Option 1 will mean you will be hurt, and she will be the source of your hurt. Option 2 will mean you will remain confused, and if you stay around this person the more confused you will get.

There is a slightly deeper, more idelogical point about relationships such as the one you are in to be made, but thats for another time.

[complich8]

Either way I don't think your "friendship" with this girl is going to survive. The only way it can is if you stay stuck in this no-man's land, and we can all see this is not sustainable.

In fact, the fundamental problem with these things is precisely that they are sustainable. But they remain in a place that you really don't want them to be.

[DB_Hunter]

In fact, the fundamental problem with these things is precisely that they are sustainable. But they remain in a place that you really don't want them to be.

I agree, but IMO I don't think Masa wants to continue. That's the context.

[Bucket]

Well, you should know her pretty well by now. You should know if you're the type of guy she wants to be with. But unless I miss my guess, you've probably denied yourself relationships for the past few years because of her-- and that smacks of desperation, so I'd have to say no.

The solution is to become the kind of person that women like. Not only sensitive and emotional, but strong and, you know, man-like.

It isn't very manly to ignore the signs that she is looking for a new relationship. In reality, regardless of the kind of "persuasion" you give her, it's likely she'll leave him for you. You may think the relationship is doomed if it starts off on the wrong foot, but you've convinced yourself any amount of satisfaction is wrong, which is also un-manly. All it takes is a little mutual respect to preserve a friendship-- you're suggesting that you'll respect her less after you get her in the sack. It says to me that you're ignoring her more "immediate" needs because you have her on a pedestal. Relationships should be equal.

You should confront her, in a manly non-Lifetime Network fashion, with the notion that you two should try having a relationship. If she goes on about how she cares about her boyfriend, you can explain that she can continue to care about him without sharing a bed with him (hell, it's worked for you two). If she's concerned about your friendship, you can explain that your internet friend named Bucket gave her permission to go get a new guy friend. New is just as good as old, only in a different way.

Of course, it's more ideal that long-term friendships turn into relationships through casual sex. If you wake up next to a friend, everything becomes new and fresh and exciting in a taboo sort of way. If you try to do it the "right way", you'll be nervous and expectations will be high, so it's likely to sputter out. Take her out drinking again. If she's still with her boyfriend, fuck him. Being the "other guy" is acceptable if you believe you can be a better boyfriend than the current one. But then... you'd have to put your money where your mouth is.

[Terracosmo]

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALP

Potential mess alert!

I broke up with my gf a few days ago. It felt right. It still feels right, except for the fact that I feel really bad about breaking her heart.

Now this turns up.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v478/joshuajerand/DSC_0021.jpg

(not entirely worksafe, but practically - and yes, that's a see-through dress.. even on the front..).

This is a really, really, really hot girl who I've been "intimate" with before (although not the whole way). She has admired me from afar, and I have her in a likewise fashion although we've had our own relationships in cycles. Now both are singles, and she wants us to finally do the whole thing.

There is only one thing stopping me from running over there.

I feel like a damn monster. Here I am having just severed the ties with my ex who is crying herself to bed every night, and so soon after that... I go to someone else? (even though it's just for the pleasures of the flesh)

Tell me guys, what should I do? Should I surrender to my urges, or hold on to my "honor" (in lack of a better word to use)?

I'm desperate. She makes me feel all warm inside. >_<

And she goes "well, nobody has to know that we spend time together".

To that I say "true", but truth eventually comes out... doesn't it?

Damn it all.

If I choose to not do this, how long should one wait before it's "okay" to do things with others?

Everything is so complicated...

I'll always be single from now on. A relationship cannot keep this sexfiend down. I demand more, more, more!!

[Yukimura]

Just go a head and ravage her. If you were hurt enough by the ending of the relationship that you felt you didn't want to be with anyone for a while that would be one thing. But there's no point in denying yourself if all that's standing in your way is the knowledge that your ex isn't moving on. You may still care about her feelings but that doesn't mean you should supress yours just to seem 'fair'.

[masamuneehs]

you'd probably wonder what kind of advice I could give, but here it is anyway...

You don't owe your ex any grieving period or anything like that. You also seem to really like this new girl. It'd be a shame to let the past hold you back now, especially if you think you can make something with this new opportunity. All and all, you have to look out for yourself. Whatever you can do for your ex is just additional good.

Your new girl might say "let's keep this quiet", but if that's not going to work you just have to tell her and hope she can give you some actual emotional support.

Besides, how would it make it any better for your ex if you don't get with this new one? Not like you'd get back with her simply because you're not with anyone else.

[el_boss]

@Terra: In a relationship you are only responsible about your own feelings. You cannot control what another person feels. It is your ex' choice if she wants to get pissed of or whatever. It is not your duty to protect her.

You must not let fear get in the way of your happiness.

[Bucket]

If your ex-girlfriend goes on thinking you're the asshole, frankly, she's probably better off. When a woman doesn't understand why her boyfriend leaves her, she gets incredibly clingy and makes the situation complicated. Then the inevitable long explanation comes and there is some closure on her part, but it really did nothing for you (especially when it doesn't result in your ultimate goal, which was to make her GO AWAY).

I'm not saying you have to manipulate the situation-- but if by some chance your girlfriend has reason to believe you dumped her for someone else, things are simpler and each person gets what he/she wants. She gets a sense of righteousness, and you get a hot piece of ass.

[Death BOO Z]

I met a girl last week, we were both at the same bus, and we 'happened' to sit next to each other, so we've started talking and all, and now we've been seeing eachother for the past week.
I'm really starting to like her, and we get along great, problem is; whenever we go out to just about anywhere (I don't have a driver license yet, and our houses are out of the question) we come across someone she knows, and then whoever she meets has to come along/ sit with us for at least half an hour, and they usually bring in more of thier friends, so i can't get to just be with her.
I don't mind she's got so many friends (it's no matter of gender, or jelousy of some sort), or even with them perssonally (few of those i met were very nice), but i'm not about to sit all night listenning to kids who are 5 years younger than me yapping (she's 3 years younger than I am, her friends vary from her own age to junior high age) about some other kids they know, I'm not that sociable person.

Next week, when i come back from the army, I'm going to see her again, and i'm not sure whether i should try to navigate us away from highly populated areas (making sure we won't meet anyone). or whether I should just be jerk to whoever comes close and make them go away (not my favorite option).or try and suggest to them to leave us two alone (not my favorite option, it rellies on other poeple to plot against themselves).

I know that every person, by himself, is just stopping by to chat with his friend, but just tonight, i met about 20 people she knows, and 6 of them stayed to talk to us, on diffrent parts of the evenning.

any suggestions? how to keep ourselves private without ruinning her realtionship with her friends..

[Terracosmo]

Well I pulled through with it. We were supposed to sexxor on friday but we both had time today. It was great. Not the best sex ever, but it felt really good mentally. And she was even hotter in person.

Case closed.



Until next time we have sex that is. :D

[masamuneehs]

For DeathBooZum, well, it's pretty obvious. first off you should act on your idea about taking her to a more secluded spot, somewhere where it'll be hard for anyone to interrupt.

But why dance around the issue? If you want things to go somewhere more serious with her, then the "alone time" problem is going to keep coming up again and again. Depending on how far along the "relationship" is at this point, it's not a bad idea to bring it up. And I would be very casual about it, since you don't want to make her seem like she has to choose between you and her friends.

If you can't figure out a way to be alone just the two of you, then one day say to her, "You know, I'm sorta not in the mood for alot of people tonight. Do you know somewhere quiet where we can just hang out for awhile?" Note, this line of questioning is not advised if you're not far along with the physical part of the relationship, as she'll probably think you're just trying to get into her pants.

if she isn't willing to just hang out, the two of you alone, then it's probably a bad sign.

then again, i can't get a clear idea of what the actual relationship between you two is like. you've made your feelings and the overall situation evident, but I'm afraid I can't help you out any more without more info.

[docdan63]

Ok. Now I'm not here to bitch or complain about many things, I wouldn't do that.Even on forums, but I have to vent. Apologies in advance.


I'm a 22 year male from Michigan. That said, what is my problem? I'll take a poll if I have to. I've been looking around for nice looking 9's 10's hell, I'll even go for 7's and 8's, but I have a bit of an issue. I got a player buddy(3 actually) who are pretty good around the ladies. I've asked for advice as much as I can about lines, ice breakers and even compliments which I don't need to know because I grew up with an older sister, but lately, one of the my best ladies man friends has just gotten fed up and stopped giving me advice anyway I can ask him, in public around girls or other wise, and I'm getting really frustrated here because the most recent girl I've dated was when I was 19. Any red blooded straight male knows that 3 years is too fucking long(fyi all I've gotten recently was a drunken make out session with a friend with benefits at a 2007 New Years bash)

I also live in a pretty tail worthy area of MIchigan, the malls are always bumpin with ladies, but I'm just running out of things to do and say here anymore, bowling? Pick up lines? what the fuck should I do. Am I just nervous as all hell? And yes I get togued tied sometimes, but the thing is, not when one of my buddies is a wingman.I recently also tested other waters also.

I was on a road trip visiting my player buddies sister at a college where the female to make poppulation is ratio is 3:1, and they're all pretty much 9-10's no matter where you turn. Before anyone asks, yes he and I went hunting to test my game out around the student union and stuff. It didn't go so well. We saw alot of grade-A tail, but no luck getting any numbers. My friend was pretty dissapointed in me, and he was hoping to help me get some that night.(we were only staying one night, btw)Anyway, we went back around town, had some laughs and went back home. After I got back I emailed him about the trip and he was wondering why I didn't go after any of the girls at the dorms or anything. I was also kind of confused why I didn't. As things went on, he eventually got fed up, and now doesn't really want to help me anymore. So now I don't know where to look anymore.


If anyone has any decent game tips, lines or advice please help me out.

helped ya out by merging this thread with the applicable one sans warning.
i don't even know who the hell you are.

did you ever try, like, figuring things out on your own? self-confidence is really important in impressing the opposite sex. you might fuck up for awhile at the outset, but only you can figure out what your game/style is going to be.
masa

[Raven]

Go watch the first American Pie movie. That'll help a lot.

Seriously though, you're thinking about it way too much. You seem to be thinking about it as a conquest or something - girls aren't just pieces of meat, you know.

Get out there and try something different you haven't done; join a club or a group, hell, join several. Play mixed sports, for instance.

[KitKat]

I'm usually wary of giving advice here....but I think you could benefit from a female point of view. You have to ask yourself, are you looking for sex, or are you looking for a relationship? You have to prioritize which one is more important to you. If you want a relationship, you need to put in a bit more work. Girls can tell when you're looking at them as "9's or 10's" or just some "tail". You're not going to get quality girls with this approach. Personality is more important in attraction for women than for men. A girl needs to find you fun to hang out with, and be interested in your personality. You can't achieve these things by using a set of memorized lines. There are a lot of factors involved. It's about not just what you say, but how you say it, the image you project, your body language, etc. Your player friends are likely very talented conversationalists, and know how to create an image that girls find attractive.

Raven's suggestions are really good. Get to know some girls that you share common interests with. Because seriously - Random guy talking to you in student centre = creepy, guy from club talking to you about club related stuff = potential friend/boyfriend.

[docdan63]

I'm usually wary of giving advice here....but I think you could benefit from a female point of view. You have to ask yourself, are you looking for sex, or are you looking for a relationship? You have to prioritize which one is more important to you. If you want a relationship, you need to put in a bit more work. Girls can tell when you're looking at them as "9's or 10's" or just some "tail". You're not going to get quality girls with this approach. Personality is more important in attraction for women than for men. A girl needs to find you fun to hang out with, and be interested in your personality. You can't achieve these things by using a set of memorized lines. There are a lot of factors involved. It's about not just what you say, but how you say it, the image you project, your body language, etc. Your player friends are likely very talented conversationalists, and know how to create an image that girls find attractive.

Raven's suggestions are really good. Get to know some girls that you share common interests with. Because seriously - Random guy talking to you in student centre = creepy, guy from club talking to you about club related stuff = potential friend/boyfriend.




Well I don't only think of girls as scaled numbers of meat to be with. I mean c'mon that's just wrong. And I know what I want, I want a girlfriend I can just have a good time with, just no real length or any labels, just know that we're with each other. And if we both get dissatisfied or see something else we each like, break up and go for it. I just wanna make sure I have fun while I'm young and don't have regrets looking back on my younger days.

And actually, college girls seem to be more open to talking to guys than girls at a club or something, at least from what I've seen.



@Kit Kat: what do you think of as "quality girls" give me an example.

[KitKat]

@Kit Kat: what do you think of as "quality girls" give me an example.
Well, I left it rather open-ended on purpose, since everyone has their own ideas of what they're looking for in the opposite sex. In general terms, I guess I'd say a girl who isn't just using or manipulating you, but who cares about you.

[docdan63]

[QUOTE=masamuneehs]*reads that long ass conversation of which only 1/10th is pertinent to the discussion here*

Didn't I say to shoot the shit BEFORE bringing it up? That's why your conversation got derailed, cuz there was all the 'how's school doin?' crap still left to talk about.

In fishing one thing you do when your line is in the water is jiggle it around, reeling it in slowly to make the fish go after it. Basically that action is the 'shooting the shit', getting the formalities of
'hi Mr. Fish I'm a nice juicy worm'
'oh hello Mr. Worm, my you look good but may you be just a fisherman's trap?'
'Not at all my friend! Watch I move just like all live worms in water'
(fisherman jerks the rod -wow that sounds nasty- and makes the worm move)
'See! I'm perfectly healthy!'
'Well, you do look juicy so...'

And the second the fish bites on the hook you do not jiggle the worm around, you don't shoot the shit, you reel that sucker in to where you want it to be, squirming and flopping around like a virgin on a footballer player's prom night on the floor of your boat.

When you start to get to the point, GET THERE! Make sure there's no ways the conversation can deviate.





All good advice, thanks guys, and gal.

@masamuneehs: good tips man, thanks


I honestly don't know anymore. I'm thinking I have confidence issues that I need to get past first or soemthing. Everytime I go out with my buddy, when a nice looking girl shows up he turns into my wingman. For some reason I don't think that's ever going to go away. Until obviously I get one of those girls as my g/f. Another thing could be that where ever I went out where there were alot of really hot girls around, it becomes really hard to either choose only one to go after, or it just becomes hot girl overload and everything from my game to my sense of humor(best pick up trait) is thrown off, and I can't do a thing to stop it.

I don't think about it like a conquest. But I also don't think casually about it. Perhaps thats a problem as well.


Let me know what I should do or if you guys need more of my story, lol. I'll tell you guys anything you wanna know about my past or w/e

[Terracosmo]

I always find it funny with all these people who ask for tips, lines & strategies as if hooking up with women is some sort of strategy game or RPG. "You need to gain additional experience points in your conversation skill to enter this number 6 dungeon... uhh... female".

Just be yourself. And if that isn't enough, improve yourself!

Maybe easy for me to say, but I'm very happy about the fact that I've never had to read any "how to..." essays when it comes to these things.


Then again I am TERRA, GWAHHAHAHAAHA

*megalomaniac laugh*


Sorry, had too much whiskey tonight.

[Phoenix20578]

Well, I'm in a relationship of some type right now. I met her last year at work. So for a while we were just friends. Then a few months ago, we started hanging out a lot more. Like we started goin to clubs together, getting food, doin the random call shit, and all that good stuff. Then one day a few weeks ago, I asked her if she liked me and if we were goin out. She basically danced around the answer and just said she doesn't like going out with co-workers, which answered nothing. So for the past few weeks we've been the same as before. We've been hanging out, and I havent brought it up since last month. I really dont know what I should do at this point. I've really fallin for her, otherwise I never would've dealt with ant bs, but I am starting to get tired of this.

[docdan63]

wow, you know I heard inter work relationships are a no no. I almost tried that once with a girl, but it didn't work out so well, and she was 17, but I don't care for age much.


I guess it's the same as everything else, I just gotta practice and start meeting hot girls. Am I wrong thinking colleges are a good place to look?



btw
@Terra: that red head looks like she'd fuck you then call up demons to eat your soul when shes done. But if you think shes hot, what ever dude, eye of the beholder I guess.

[Death BOO Z]

I guess it's the same as everything else, I just gotta practice and start meeting hot girls. Am I wrong thinking colleges are a good place to look?


something like that, just that there isn't any 'level up' animation or EXP runs. when you hit on a girl (domestic abuse jokes not welcome) you aren't practising, you're starting a realtionship with her, for all that it counts.
yeah, that sounds old fashioned, but mostly you cant advance with her unless your partly serious about her.

[docdan63]

I don't think of it as Xp in a game or something. I just don't think walking up to a girl and starting to talk to her out of random is very nice. It's like you're invading her space. And also, what makes you better than the other guy cheking her out to go talk to her?

And I don't like relationships, they're too long and don't accomplish anything unless at the end you want to get married.

[iMUSTbeTHEdevil]

I don't think of it as Xp in a game or something. I just don't think walking up to a girl and starting to talk to her out of random is very nice. It's like you're invading her space. And also, what makes you better than the other guy cheking her out to go talk to her?

And I don't like relationships, they're too long and don't accomplish anything unless at the end you want to get married.

Hahahaha. Macomb Twp playa here. I bet the girls from Sterling Heights to Shelby Twp get wet when you walk by!

And on the "What makes you better than the other guy checking her out to go talk to her"
Well for one thing, you are.....TALKING TO HER! And creepishly staring at her from a distance. And no you dont have to be all up in her space, but you are close enough to speak without yelling at her. And about talking about talking about random things...that is the best way to start a conversation. Shit in MI all you have to do is talk about the weather. It changes everyday and it is an easy in. If she doesnt seem interested in your weather talk, try something else, and then if that doesnt work, walk away with your dignity!

But what do I know? Ya know?


-dg-

[el_boss]

Advice like "be yourself" doesn't help anyone. It makes no sense to tell this to a guy who has serious trouble with women. Would you tell a person who needs help with like building a house too just "try harder" or "figure it out". I don't get why it's so popular to not help guys who have problem with women.

If anyone reading this is serious about getting their shit together and put some real work into getting good with women you can PM mer add me on MSN, ashhas463@hotmail.com

I'm not saying that I'm a god at pick-up or anything, but I have basically built up my sexlife from 0 during the last year so I know what it's like.

Don't contact me if your going say bullshit like "you can't change" or "pick-up is wrong" or some shit like that. You are welcome to have shitty condititioning but don't bring it to me.

[iMUSTbeTHEdevil]

Being yourself isnt the way to go....not necessarily.

You just have to talk away the power of the Pussy. If pussy has no power over you then you dont have to worry about it. I mean come on, you can always masterbate. You dont have to put some much into getting with a girl and having sex. Just play it cool, and stop making pussy soo damned powerful!

-dg-

[TruthofMistake]

Woo, my turn to add to this thread. So... I spent a good 4-5 months pursuing a girl who was supposedly interested in me but, after less then a week of dating me, decided that she wanted to slow things down and not be a couple but just date... Ok I thought, that's fine, but said dates never seemed to happen. We would plan something out and she would claim to forget about it or bring other people along, namely her ex-boyfriend who she was still most definatly not over but claimed to want to be... So after said 4-5 months she decided she didn't want anything to do with me after all and went running back to the before mentioned ex-boyfriend. Whatever, I'm pretty much over that and have written off as experience, albeit a poor one.

So, into the present. I am currently pursuing a girl who is a good 2 years older then me and it appears to have a heavy influence in how she feels about me. I asked her out a while ago but she misunderstood it to be me asking to hang out with her more often which she agreed to. I'm pretty sure i'm in the infamous friend zone right now and would rather not be, as she is pretty attractive, and fun to hang out with. Right now I'm teaching her to play tennis and we hang out in person a day or so every week, and talk online most days. What should I do, try and advance things, or just stick with the way things are and hope for the best?

[docdan63]

well I say go for it man, My first lady was a year older than I was and it was fine.

[Yukimura]

Doesn't anyone have an uplifting story where they went for a girl who wasn't initially into them but they managed to win her over with perseverance and then proceded to have build a healthy stable relationship?

[docdan63]

dude, what?

That kind of situation shouldn't exist until you're like 27+(the relationship part, not winning her over). Anyone between 18-26 should just be having fun, and date around

IMO getting girls to like you instead is WAAY better than getting them over to your side.Much easier too

Plus, as far as I know, most people in thier 20's have too much fun stuff going on to worry about anything long term. Why would you bother with that anyway? You're only 20, 21, 22, etc once in your life.


Enjoy it I always say.

[Yukimura]

Well I meant getting a girl from neutral dismissal to her liking you enough for good things happen repeatably and both have fun. It wouldn't have to be happily ever after, since that'd get boring pretty fast. Most of good success stories in here are about Terra, who girls seem to simply throw themselves at. That's all well and good, but what about the less awesome folks?

[kenren]

I don't know if this story of mine can fit this thread. Please don't kill me >.<

so, when i was 15 , i confessed to this girl that i had been chatting with. We went to the same tuition classes. I was indirectly rejected. So i thought, "Forget it, a guy like me is better off being a beggar than a chooser" and time flows..But, funny thing is.. we were talking to each other more often after i was rejected. So when i was 16, i confessed again and yeah, i was accepted. So, time passed..we were very close at some point until last few months ago..she started to ignore me, i tried very hard to keep our bonds together as usual, but things don't seem to work out. Then, she told me that she wanted to be just friends, i broke down. I guess another guy came into her life. She left saying that my attitude sucks and she don't like it. But, why now? aren't we suppose to tolerate with each other? .. okay..nevermind that. That's all. Sorry for the bad english.

i guess this is what they called "puppy love"

[Death BOO Z]

she's a girl, she's obviously crazy. not much to do about it.
you just have to decide whether you like her enough to cling to her and take what she gives, or to move on and cut your ties with (to somewhat degree) and try to meet someone new.

besides, it doesn't really matter what you choose, you can just happen to meet someone cute without trying to.

[docdan63]

yeah man she's nuts. Rubix cube wrapped in a mystery wrapped in pms burrito.


And to every guy on this thread. You can alwys find someone better, cuter, smater and more fun.

They out number us in every part of the worl for gods-sake.

I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but I don't care.


My view is while in your 20's, a man shouldn't be a relationship longer than 4 months

[Assassin]

it mite be helpful if atleast one of the 4 girls that visit these forums were to contribute to this thread.

no offence to you all, but getting advice from a bunch of guys -- who spend thier free time playing games and watching anime no less -- is probably not the best way to solve our women problems :p

[TruthofMistake]

Heh, very true, but this would be one of the few places I can get objective advice. Every time I ask someone I know IRL for advice on the mattertheir opinions are skewed by like or dislike of the person involved, their current mood, etc. etc. =-\

[masamuneehs]

Truth, it's easy to fall into the same trap I did and endlessly pursue someone by being her friend. Sometimes good things come out of that, and I've heard the best long-term relationships can be friendships that turned into something more. But, depending on what you want and your situation, it's generally not good to just sit around and wait.

It seems like you're just a friend to her now, and so if you do make a move, make sure it'll leave you in a situation you can live with. Secretly loving your "friend" in vain can be just as bad or worse than making a move that fails and turning the friendship awkward or ruining it. You have to decide, but if you want her, make a stab at it. The best worst-case scenario is that you gain a friend.

kenren: sounds like you either didn't stay close enough with her (if you don't know if she has a new guy and she says "your attitude sucks", it sounds like you weren't spending that much time with her) or that it just wasn't meant to be. Don't let it get you down, especially because you could enjoy it for a little while. It's tough when you're young and someone lets you off as harshly as in your story. See my fish analogy.

[kenren]

We promised to always let each other know if one of us is not satisfied with something..But, she's like, letting everything out right before dumping me. I guess I'm not understanding enough? It was fine..until that very day. it was a shock of my life. Or rather, i just suck.I'll be seeing her and her guy tomorrow due to some unavoidable event. Wish me luck.. =). If i could, i would rather not seeing them anymore. It hurts.

and..what's fish analogy? Sorry for the noobness >.<

[masamuneehs]

We promised to always let each other know if one of us is not satisfied with something..But, she's like, letting everything out right before dumping me.

This is exactly the problem: you two made this agreement, but she obviously didn't keep her part in it or she would have been talking to you about these things way before dumping you. And, if you ask me, this is partially your fault. Communication is crucial to any human relationship (yes, even if it's just sex) and both sides need to make sure the other is comfortable in speaking their mind. She had problems with you, but didn't want to talk to it about with you until they got her to the breaking point. Sometimes you need to press the other side if you feel they're witholding something important from you.

It's tough man. I still can't figure out how to communicate with people because everyone has a different style and some are more private or vocal, needy or stoic, than others. But it sounds to me like you'd best make communication a priority in your next serious relationship.


Or rather, i just suck.

don't say that kind of shit! If you think it, you'll start making it reality. Keep your head up and keep rolling with the punches. My fish analogy is somewhere on the earlier pages of this thread; but the bottom line is not to let crap like this get you down, because feeling sorry for yourself or feeling helpless never did anyone any good. Good luck.

[gr3atfull]

it mite be helpful if atleast one of the 4 girls that visit these forums were to contribute to this thread.

no offence to you all, but getting advice from a bunch of guys -- who spend thier free time playing games and watching anime no less -- is probably not the best way to solve our women problems :p

The only thing I could tell you guys is that first try to get to know her and try to be friends with her. After that, try to get her. If this random guy jumps on me and try to go out with me, I would be freaked out and I don't want to know anything about him.

I hope that helped.....

[Terracosmo]

no offence to you all, but getting advice from a bunch of guys -- who spend thier free time playing games and watching anime no less -- is probably not the best way to solve our women problems :p

I don't know about that, I've heard many times that my mentality is closer to a female's than a male's, and even though I'm a nerd that seems to hold true. I don't really know what the point of this post is.

But what gr3atfull says should really be common logic. Nobody wants to be jumped on and confronted in a generally suspicious manner, but hilariously so many fail to realize that. :O

[kenren]

Masa, thanks alot. After reading your post, i somehow, not just partially, felt that most of time I was wrong. How I wish I could stand right in front of her and apologize once more. You opened my eyes. Communication huh? I surely will! Thanks again =)

[docdan63]

The only thing I could tell you guys is that first try to get to know her and try to be friends with her. After that, try to get her. If this random guy jumps on me and try to go out with me, I would be freaked out and I don't want to know anything about him.

I hope that helped.....



I agree with on that one 100% You should totally be friends with her, but, I don't know about you guys. But being friends with a girl, unless shes ugly(no offense), is kinda hard in my opinion, and honestly kinda a waste of time unless you're going to date her. But just getting to know her enough to date is fine.


Heres the kicker though:

After you break up with her, should you still stay friends? I'd be interested to see what you guys think.

I say no. And it can only get messier towards the next relationship because of the dating past connection you used to have.


That's all I have to say on that

[KitKat]

Boys of gotwoot.....I am not going to date you. We can't be friends anymore.

[docdan63]

where did that come from?

I don't wanna date you. I just wanted to know peoples opnions on the topic, that's all.

And I just wanted a little bit of advice on how to pursue this girl I really like.

If I offended you in anyway I'm sorry.

[KitKat]

I was making a joke...which apparently didn't go over too well. Don't worry, I'm not offended or anything, I just think your view on friendship may be a bit misguided. Having close friendships with people of the opposite gender can be really valuable. Men and women think differently, and often someone else will be able to offer you a perspective you haven't considered before. Being an engineer, I have a LOT of guy friends, many of whom are in long-term relationships. That doesn't mean I value their friendship any less. They're people I really enjoy hanging out with and talking with. Some of them I've seen go through a string of girlfriends, girls who appear briefly and are gone just as quickly. Being a friend though, that's something more lasting, and in a friendship you know that a guy isn't going out of his way to impress you, or act like someone he's not. The guys who are my friends, they're people I trust, people I know I can count on if I need them, and they're just darn cool people in general.

[docdan63]

Well, then I misunderstood

I think I see your point. It's not the friendship thats important but what you get out of it in the end. And yo're right I'm misguided. But i don't really know where to turn to anymore. It's not that I just want to go out and date random girls(although that would be fun)

It's just that I really don't get what to do anymore. And I have to go on how to act around woman besides my buddy, is my older sister. I respect woman as much as a feminist. But I'm just afraid that I'll have regrets in my life, if didn't date around while I was still young and nice to look at.

Thanks for the advice

[Yukimura]

@docdan: I get where you were coming from with the girl friendship thing. From what people tell me, the key to success is seeing women as people first and members of the opposite sex second. By this advice you shouldn't try to start a relationship (any form of interaction with another person, not necessarily a 'Relationship') with a girl, you should start a relationship with a person, and if you mesh maybe it'll turn into a 'Relationship'. This is all conjecture based on hearsay, but maybe it makes sense. Personally I try to avoid associating with anyone that I might consider dating, it makes things simpler.

[docdan63]

Well I'm glad to see to see you got what I wanted to say

I didn't want to mislead or anger anyone with my views. I just wanted to voice my opnion of what I think people in their 20's should be doing. Which is in my mind, short passionaite, fun relationships. If it turns into something longer, and you want that, ok fine. But you should make sure that you enjoy each other's physicalness, and keep the flame burning while your young.

And no I'm not the never call her again type or anything. And no I'm also not the type of guy who think girls are just another numbers and points in a game in my life.

[Terracosmo]

Boys of gotwoot.....I am not going to date you. We can't be friends anymore.

DID THOSE KISSES NOT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU YOU HEARTLESS SUCCUBUSSSSSS?!?!11111

@docdan:

"After you break up with her, should you still stay friends? I'd be interested to see what you guys think."

Usually you are more or less forced enemies with an ex for a set period of time due to all the emotions involved. I hated my first gf for 2 years when we broke up but we're best friends now more or less. FUN HOW THINGS GO!

Also, remember, life is all about fun! Don't waste unnecessary time, ever! CHOOSE SEX!

[masamuneehs]

[13:42] <masamuneehs> so wait, aren't you going to tell us about your ex and all that juicy jazz?
[13:42] <Wilik> oh you want to know?
[13:43] <Wilik> alright
[13:43] <Wilik> shes pissed because I havent done the dishes
[13:43] <Wilik> for awhile
[13:43] <Wilik> but I dont feel like I should
[13:43] * Arcness has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
[13:43] <Wilik> as I have purposely not eaten at home for almost a month
[13:43] <Wilik> so she got all pissed off at am
[13:43] <Wilik> me*
[13:44] <Wilik> called me a slob
[13:44] <Wilik> and all kinds of other shit
[13:44] <Wilik> and im like 'its fucking on...'
[13:44] * WebUser9773 has joined #gotwoot
[13:44] * WebUser9773 has quit IRC (Quit: WebUser9773)
[13:44] <Wilik> she basicly told me I will never find someone else because I am to much of a slob
[13:44] <Wilik> and I was like 'FUCK YES ATLEAST I CAN BE HAPPY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE'
[13:45] <Yukimura> but yet you aren't making the dirty dishes right?
[13:45] <Wilik> no
[13:45] <Wilik> like I said, I havent eaten at home for over a month
[13:45] <Yukimura> did you say that to her?
[13:45] <Wilik> she knows
[13:45] <masamuneehs> well, you can find a girl, but better make sure she never meets your ex
[13:45] <Wilik> lol
[13:45] <Yukimura> but yet she still makes that statement?
[13:45] <Wilik> point is, after that, I ripped into her
[13:46] <Wilik> she ran off and started crying after the 'atleast I can be happy...' comment
[13:46] <Wilik> and then I got really pissed
[13:46] <Wilik> so I went in her room
[13:46] <Wilik> and I was like 'get off your ass, come look at the mess you make and we'll see whos really a slob'
[13:46] <Wilik> she refused
[13:46] <masamuneehs> i'm posting this in the relationship thread, when you're done:o
[13:47] <masamuneehs> young forum members need to know what to look forward to with relationships
[13:47] <Wilik> so I was like 'fine, i'll do the dishes, fuck i'll even pick up the trash, but this is the LAST time I will do it, DO NOT EVEN FUCKIN HINT I SHOULD IT AGAIN'
[13:47] <Wilik> and I walked away
[13:47] <Wilik> then
[13:47] <Wilik> as I was cleaning
[13:47] <Wilik> I discovered more messes of hers
[13:47] <Wilik> that I was less inclined to pick up
[13:48] <Wilik> so I went back in there and was like 'stop fuckin crying and go clean the bathroom, while you're at it take all your shit out of the livingroom, its a fuckin mess because of you'
[13:48] <Yukimura> was it a trash can full of used tampons and pads?
[13:48] <Wilik> no
[13:48] <Wilik> we have 2 bathrooms
[13:49] <Yukimura> then consider yourself lucky
[13:49] <Wilik> she has her own and I use the 'public' bathroom
[13:49] <Wilik> however
[13:49] <Wilik> she likes to keep her dog in the 'public' bathroom while shes not home
[13:49] <Wilik> and its a huge mess
[13:49] <Wilik> because he pees on the floor
[13:49] <Wilik> and shits all over the place
[13:49] <Wilik> and just in general makes it a big mess
[13:49] <Wilik> and she has failed to clean it in like 2 weeks
[13:50] <Dee-esMon> ugh
[13:50] <Wilik> I live with the fuckin anti-christ of cleanliness
[13:50] <Wilik> and she has the nerve to tell me I am a slob?
[13:50] <masamuneehs> sounds like you two are perfect for each other...
[13:50] <Wilik> fuck that shit
[13:50] <Wilik> I hate her
[13:50] <masamuneehs> do you ever have sex with her still?
[13:51] <Wilik> hrm
[13:51] <Wilik> yes and no
[13:51] <Wilik> we broke up like...
[13:51] <Wilik> almost 2 months ago
[13:51] <Wilik> we've had sex twice since then
[13:51] <Wilik> once was last night
[13:51] <Yukimura> after the fight
[13:51] <Yukimura> ?
[13:51] <Wilik> this fight was an hour ago
[13:51] <Yukimura> oh
[13:51] <masamuneehs> who initiated the sex?
[13:51] <Wilik> she did
[13:52] <Wilik> I was quite happy not fuckin her
[13:52] <Yukimura> maybe she thought they sex was payment for you cleaning things up
[13:52] <Dee-esMon> roflcopter
[13:52] <masamuneehs> and you fell for it, you sucker
[13:52] <Wilik> I didnt care
[13:52] <Wilik> it doesnt alter my feelings for her
[13:52] <Wilik> and its not like she doesnt get anything out of having sex
[13:52] <masamuneehs> you fell for it and so today she was like: "i gave him sex, so i can claim to make him do something for me today"
[13:53] <Wilik> as far as im concerned, she has an orgasim, I have an orgasim, we're even
[13:53] <Wilik> thats the end of that
[13:53] <masamuneehs> but do you think she sees it that way?
[13:53] <Yukimura> i doubt he cares
[13:53] <masamuneehs> oh, and for the record, gloved or ungloved love?
[13:53] <Wilik> for her sake, I hope she does
[13:53] <Wilik> gloved, of course
[13:53] <Wilik> im not stupid
[13:54] <Wilik> as it is, she already tried to say I got her pregnant so I had to go buy a pregnancy test
[13:54] <Yukimura> .....
[13:54] <Yukimura> run away
[13:54] <Dee-esMon> lmao
[13:54] <Yukimura> faster then you are now
[13:54] <masamuneehs> oh the drama of the baby's father's mystery
[13:54] <st33v> wilik's gonna become joker jr
[13:54] <Wilik> I was like 'up till a week ago, I havent had sex with you for over 2 months, if you're pregnant its either god fuckin you or someone else because it sure as hell wasnt me'
[13:55] <Wilik> it was just a scare, she isnt pregnant
[13:55] <Wilik> she just has been under a shit load of stress so she missed a period
[13:55] <Wilik> or had a very very light one
[13:56] <Wilik> anyways
[13:56] <Wilik> now she isnt doing shit
[13:56] <Wilik> she gave her dog a bath
[13:56] <Wilik> in my shower
[13:56] <Wilik> which means she probably fucked it all up
[13:56] <Wilik> and didnt clean the bathroom
[13:57] <Wilik> and didnt pick up her shit
[13:57] <masamuneehs> more fuel for the fire
[13:57] <Wilik> so round 2 will begin soon
[13:57] <masamuneehs> the fire of desire
[13:57] <masamuneehs> desire to kill, and to screw
[13:57] <Wilik> its gonna be the 'fire of living on the street' if she doesnt do the shit I told her to do
[13:58] <Dee-esMon> its your place?
[13:58] <Wilik> yes
[13:58] <masamuneehs> where did it all go wrong wilik? where did it go wrong?
[13:58] <Dee-esMon> kick her the fuck out
[13:58] <Dee-esMon> :P
[13:58] <Dee-esMon> why are you moving out?
[13:58] <Wilik> it all went wrong 4 years ago when I met the bitch
[13:58] <masamuneehs> pft, don't give me that melodrama
[13:59] <Wilik> my lease is up in 2 months Dee-esMon
[13:59] <masamuneehs> there must have been something good there initially:confused:
[13:59] <masamuneehs> otherwise you wouldn't be putting up with her now
[13:59] <Wilik> I dont kick her out because I save money having her pay half the bills
[13:59] * Spiegel-Out has joined #gotwoot
[13:59] <Dee-esMon> ic
[13:59] <Yukimura> so you're moving and letting her do whatever once the lease is up?
[13:59] <Wilik> yep
[13:59] * Spiegel-Out is now known as Spiegel-Dads
[13:59] <Dee-esMon> hah
[13:59] <Yukimura> does she know this?
[13:59] <Spiegel-Dads> hello everyone
[13:59] <Wilik> yes
[14:00] <masamuneehs> yo Spiegs
[14:00] <Wilik> im going to make sure she doesnt try to fuck me over
[14:00] <Wilik> by leaving the place a mess
[14:00] <Wilik> thats about it
[14:00] <Yukimura> lol
[14:00] <Wilik> shes on her own
[14:00] <Wilik> I told her she better find a place by the 1st
[14:00] <masamuneehs> so why'd you let her move in with you?
[14:00] <masamuneehs> to split the rent, truly?
[14:00] <Wilik> because on the 1st im transfering the power to my new apartment and unless she wants to live in the dark...
[14:01] <Wilik> honostly masamuneehs
[14:01] <Wilik> im sure we had something
[14:01] <Wilik> something superficial
[14:01] <Wilik> never anything real
[14:01] <masamuneehs> but it's hard to recall this far down the road also, i'll bet
[14:01] <Wilik> not really
[14:02] <Wilik> im sure the first time I told her I loved her, I truly ment it
[14:02] <masamuneehs> i hate those words. i've only said them to one person, ever
[14:02] <Wilik> but as time went on and I felt like she was corrupting the very meaning of my life, the feelings behind the words faded away and it became just a ritutal
[14:03] <Wilik> and I became the shell of a person
[14:03] <Wilik> now
[14:03] <Wilik> I am rebuilding myself
[14:03] <Wilik> and I dont put up with that shit
[14:03] <Darkflare> we can make you stronger
[14:03] <Darkflare> we have the technology
[14:03] <Wilik> lol
[14:03] <KitKat> http://psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=pto-20050614-000001&page=1
[14:04] <Yukimura> what is this craziness Kitkat?
[14:04] <KitKat> tis an article relevant to what Wilik is saying
[14:06] <Wilik> I remember once, I asked her to marry me, it was like 3 years ago
[14:06] <Yukimura> hmm, it sounds counter intuitive...
[14:06] <Wilik> thank god that didnt happen
[14:06] <Dee-esMon> lol
[14:06] <Yukimura> but I can't argue with results
[14:06] <Dee-esMon> she wouldve taken half your shit wilik
[14:06] <Dee-esMon> :P
[14:06] <Dee-esMon> if you did
[14:07] <Wilik> fuck that
[14:07] <Yukimura> "A lot of people cohabit because it seems like a good idea to share expenses and have some security and companionship, without a lot of commitment."
[14:07] <Wilik> I would have made her sign a prenup
[14:07] <Yukimura> sound familiar?
[14:07] <Wilik> she has just as much to lose as I do
[14:08] <Wilik> honostly guys, when we moved in together like...
[14:08] <Wilik> a year and a half ago
[14:08] <Wilik> we were fairly happy together
[14:08] <Wilik> we were working on rebuilding our releationship because 3 months prior we had just gotten back together
[14:09] <Wilik> (for those of you that remember the last time I broke up with her)
[14:09] <Wilik> things were different, we were enjoying ourselves and eachother
[14:09] <Wilik> then something happened, im not sure what it was
[14:09] <Wilik> as it didnt happen to me
[14:10] <Wilik> it happened to her
[14:10] <Wilik> about 2 and a half months ago
[14:10] <Wilik> thats when the shit hit the fan persay
[14:10] <Wilik> she gets depressed easily
[14:10] <Wilik> and apparently she got depressed
[14:10] <Wilik> because she doesnt have enough friends or some shit
[14:11] <Wilik> I hate it when people cant stand on their own two feet without a huge army holding them up
[14:11] <Assassin> who needs a friend when you have irc
[14:11] <Wilik> you guys are great at listening, thats for sure :P
[14:11] <Assassin> lol
[14:12] <Assassin> we do what we can
[14:12] <masamuneehs> man i got nothing to say on this

[Terracosmo]

Seriously, any girl who sees sex as something they "give" should rot in hell. WE give YOU our DICKS you GODDAMN IDIOTS! Correct statement would be "I allowed him to give me sex". But even then it's wrong because sex is something two people do for both peoples' sakes, not something that should be viewed as a gift. I really want to not believe that there actually are people out there who sees sex as some kind of favor within a relationship, but unfortunately I know that morons rule the world and all that.

[XanBcoo]

I love how KitKat interjects with that article and then goes away again once Wilik starts getting emotional and using metaphors to describe his feelings.

That was a really good read though. Bitches is cold.

[docdan63]

yeah me too. But she makes a goodpoint, I mean she is a girl after all

@Terra-
Finally someone agrees with me! Thankyou

I think it's important that guys enjoy themselves.Girls should too, but obviously I can only speak from a guys point of view.

[Lucifus]

My god.....I wish I never stumbled upon this thread.

The future looks bleak.....just saddening.
I havn't seen a single post with the 'live happily ever after' theme. Am I doomed to this faith?:( :confused:

[Yukimura]

You could still try getting a girl from some other country that's not too westernized, I hear Asians can be less crazy, once you get their parents out of the situation. Or...worst case, try your hand on the other team. Though, celibacy might be a better option depending on your preferences.

Oh and Lucifus did you finish those sigs?

[Terracosmo]

My god.....I wish I never stumbled upon this thread.

The future looks bleak.....just saddening.
I havn't seen a single post with the 'live happily ever after' theme. Am I doomed to this faith?:( :confused:

~40% of all relationships end with divorce
~60% of all relationships contain unfaithfulness on somebody's part

(can't remember the exact number for divorces)

So in other words yeah. You're doomed, monogamy is a myth and people are whores.

[docdan63]

ok, let me clear some stuff up

@Lucifus-first of all, you should go on these types of forums and talk about things that other people can help with, It's healthy. Second of all, YOU'RE FREKKIN 16 !! you shouldn't even be thinking about happily ever after for another 11-12 years, at least. Enjoy yourself through high school for godssake


Why do you people only think about long term stuff all the time, when most of us our no where near thinking about that in our lives? It's stupid, and you're only reducing enjoyment of your youth by even talking about it, let alone worrying about it or wanting to be that way

[The Heretic Azazel]

~40% of all relationships end with divorce
~60% of all relationships contain unfaithfulness on somebody's part

(can't remember the exact number for divorces)

So in other words yeah. You're doomed, monogamy is a myth and people are whores.

Also, you'll die old, penniless and unable to use the bathroom on your own. And there is no God at the end.

The only real way to escape the monotony is to go anti-cosmic and off yourself immediately like Jon Nödveidt of DIssection. Humanity is hopeless.

[Terracosmo]

"Go anti-cosmic", ROFL. Awesome expression. :D

[Yukimura]

@Lucifus-first of all, you should go on these types of forums and talk about things that other people can help with, It's healthy. Second of all, YOU'RE FREKKIN 16 !! you shouldn't even be thinking about happily ever after for another 11-12 years, at least. Enjoy yourself through high school for godssake

Why do you people only think about long term stuff all the time, when most of us our no where near thinking about that in our lives? It's stupid, and you're only reducing enjoyment of your youth by even talking about it, let alone worrying about it or wanting to be that way


It's probably b/c lots of girls start having their "all relationships should lead to perfect long-term boyfriend-girlfriend pairings that will lead to engagement and then marriage" fantasies at about 15-16. The ones that don't buy into this and just try to have fun are often labeled sluts or whores and looked down upon. Thus a guy has little choice but to try an adapt to this demand to make a relationship work if he wants a girl with a decent reputation (even though he likely knows there's little chance it'll work out like that).

[Assassin]

Also, "enjoyment" is really subjective. For you (docdan) a short term relationship, where both parties just enjoy each otehrs company, both physically and emotionally, with no concerns about the next 6 months is enjoyable. To others, a more stable, longterm relationship that they've planned out for the next year and beyond, and that could eventually lead to marriage is what they'd condier "enjoyable".

So ya, i agree that you should just enjoy and have fun.....in whatever way you see fit.

Oh, and for those who long for a "happily ever after" story....my cousin recently got engaged to his high school sweetheart. It was like 5 years in the making, cuz they liked each other since like gr 12, then broke up (and he was miserable) and had a sort of love/hate relationship for a while (especially cuz he knew her family really well, and was friends with her cousins and stuff). But in the end, they managed to get back together and are getting married this fall.

So dont give up hope...happy endings do happen. Sometimes you have to work for them, while other times they fall right into your lap, but they do exist.

[docdan63]

wow, I wasn't aware that 15-16 girls thought that early on their perfect life partners. And like I said I can only speak from a male perspective. Thanks for the nugget of advice.


And yes I agree that the ones that don't buy into that are generalized as slutty and whorish.


@Kitkat:However, let me ask you this. Can a girl say....in college. date a guy who doesn't even go there(visiting) and have fun with him, but also begin dating him after he visits, when she comes back home? Is that a slut for only knowing him for a little while during that visist? Or is she someone who knows what she wants in her life and gives him a chance to become her boyfriend?

@assassin:well thankyou for your input and agreement

However, a guy doesn't neccessarily have to adapt. We can go for who ever we want. We're guys, we're the hunters. So we do have to adapt, but normally that doesn't mean changing ourselves for the girl. It just means not being with the right one and bc of that finding another one to date, and be with. Thats all

[Yukimura]

As to adaptation I wholeheartedly agree, but every now and then some girl will come along and a guy will want her so bad he'll really try to force himself to change in order to appease her. It's generally a sad sight, since it's doomed to failure.

She won't respect him, b/c he'll be too accomodating, and he'll eventually resent her for not making any changes for him. That's why the best line to give a guy before he starts down that path is 'There are other fish in the sea' as great as she may be it's just not worth it to try and fake yourself into a relationship.

[docdan63]

@Yuki-I don't mean to keep battling you on this. I just want to clear things up and get the facts straight.

I agree on almost everything you're saying, except the fact that guys will hate how their girlfriends won't change for them. I really don't think that matters much when there more fish in the sea. If the guy gets fed up, he's gone. Easy as that.

[Terracosmo]

However, a guy doesn't neccessarily have to adapt. We can go for who ever we want. We're guys, we're the hunters.

You probably shouldn't generalize so much. Girls are just as prone to "the hunt". Also I know several men my age (20-21) who want to marry somebody (something which seems to be "common female thinking").

I find in a lot of your questions and posts that there's this absolute difference between men and women, and in a way I agree, but when it all boils down to it both genders are human and human behavior is hardly limited to differences between genders.

Also many of you are asking Kit questions, just because she's female herself doesn't mean she knows all the answers. Many of the answers to those questions boil down to personality rather than gender IMO.

@Assassin: Yes, sure they are getting married... BUT LIFE ISN'T OVER YET IS IT MUAHAHAHA THERE WILL BE NO HAPPY ENDINGS EVER *manical laugh*

[KitKat]

Also many of you are asking Kit questions, just because she's female herself doesn't mean she knows all the answers. Many of the answers to those questions boil down to personality rather than gender IMO.
Yes, indeed. KitKat is not a normal girl. KitKat is a girl who visits anime forums and chooses to hang out with all you weird kids. If you want to know what girls think, the best way is to find a girl whose opinion you want, and ask her. Each girl can really only answer for herself about what she wants out of life and relationships. Everyone will have different answers.

[Yukimura]

@docdan: We aren't battleing, we're griping about more or less the same thing, but I'm more bitter than you and thus going beyond where you seem to stand.

@Terra It's easier to generalize than to give the benefit of the doubt to the less stereotypical women/men. Also roles matter a lot when it comes to relationships, at least in my experiance. Somone is going to be the pursuer and someone is going to be the pursued and traditionally it's men pursuing and woman who are pursued.

[Terracosmo]

traditionally it's men pursuing and woman who are pursued.

Oh, you'd be surprised. *Charismatic giggle*

[docdan63]

@yuki- glad to hear it. And yes I agree

Well, in either sense. I still don't know what to do abot my female situation, besides just going out and talking to every mildy attractive one I see my own age.

Any thoughts?


anyone know where el Boss went?

[Assertn]

This whole thread feels like a cyclical strain of posts. :confused:

[docdan63]

yeah, actually Assert, that's an interesting point and you're right.

Because it's a topic about something that can be cyclical maybe? lol

[Death BOO Z]

the only way to have an happy ending for a realtionship is to have the plane explode during the honeymoon. that's the best "happly ever after" story you can hope for.

which isn't very happt at all, if you think about it.

[XanBcoo]

I was gonna ask for this girl's number after I took my Spanish final today, but she finished before me and left. Now I probably won't see her again.

Pity 'cause I think I could have really gotten to like her. I can add her on facebook or something, but it's really not the same. Sucks.

[Lefty]

Don't let that little fact stop you from finding her and asking her out. It shows a little initiative. Women like that in a man. Go for broke or not at all.

[Yukimura]

Don't let that little fact stop you from finding her and asking her out. It shows a little initiative. Women like that in a man. Go for broke or not at all.

That's right...unless you aren't attractive to her, because then she could make a case for harassment or even stalking (maybe not in Mexico, but it's happened in America plenty of times.)

[TruthofMistake]

Well, I'm supposed to have the girl i was pursuing over tommarow night to watch Shrek 2 so that we can go see Shrek 3 on tuesday, so things seem to be working out fine for now =).

[Death BOO Z]

well, me and her (the girl from last posts) are no longer together.
she said she wasn't feeling any 'emotions' or butterflies, and all that.

I don't know, i didn't want this to happen, i liked being with her, she liked being with me, shouldn't that be enough to keep this going?

[Assertn]

This thread kinda reminds me of Densha Otoko (http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a364/Konosono/whereareyou.jpg)

[TruthofMistake]

Heh, the thing I had going crashed and burned as well. I don't really mind though, the girl in question has been a complete bitch lately.

[rockmanj]

Hmmm...well, I think i may have let my kind nature interfere with mt amorous pursuits, and i think the only way to recify it is through shady means. So, I'm at my friend's party a couple of weeks ago, and one of his good friends (and my coworker)'s gf brings her friend along. Now said friend was pretty nice looking, i thought, but like, all the guys that talked to her walked away, because she told them she cant speak english. So, in my book, that's a red flag, and i immedieately just chalk her up to a lost cause.
However, like about an hour later, im mixing myself a drink, and she wanders over and starts talking to me in english, of all things...and then she starts with extremely heavy flirting...and sometimes i'm oblivious to signs, but there was no way i could miss these cues. And i shouldve done the smart thing, and just ran with it...unfortunately, another friend was gunning for her, and the previous night i kinda took a girl away from him, so i felt guilty, and did not pursue.
Afterwards, though, i felt shitty about it, cuz nothin came of it, due to the fact that he was chasing like 4 girls around, so she's still probably all alone at home...doing whatever it is she does. And, now that all my other options seem to have dried up, i kinda wanna get with her more, but i dont see a feasible way. I cant ask my coworker, cause he's a douche, and i cant ask his gf, cause he keeps her away from me for some reason. My friends suggest i hang out at the dunkin donuts in her apt. building, but that's stalking and its creepy. So all i have now is random chance...like maybe i see her around town or something :-\.
Also, i met another girl, and i kinda lied about my age, which wouldn't have been that bad if i said i was 25, but i said i was born in 1981 (which isnt true at all). I lied because women here arent supposed to be friends with younger guys...but it turns out my fake age isnt old enough either, but she really doesnt seem to mind. So, for problem one...i dont know what to do; i guess leave it to chance :-(. Problem 2...im not sure if i should come clean or not, and also not sure how to do it. I cant exactly say, "i thought i was born in 81..oops!!" I'll sound like an idiot or something.

[masamuneehs]

why not go by the Dunken Donuts every now and then? Maybe don't hang out there, as that's pretty desperate, but if you think she might be there and you want to see her, you can casually bump into her. Leaving it up to chance is fine, but if you can increase your chances a bit, why the hell not?

More importantly, what's her friend's deal with not wanting you to get with her? Bad female opinions can kill a man.

Your're probably going to get burned on the lie eventually, if you keep this chick around. She'll hear from someone else or you'll just muck up one day. You'll probably just have to suck it up and tell her, making sure to explain that you were afraid she'd not want to 'hang' with you if you told her your honest age. Some people find that kind of shit 'cute/adorable', others think it's pitiful and sleazy. Hope she's the former.

[rockmanj]

why not go by the Dunken Donuts every now and then? Maybe don't hang out there, as that's pretty desperate, but if you think she might be there and you want to see her, you can casually bump into her. Leaving it up to chance is fine, but if you can increase your chances a bit, why the hell not?

More importantly, what's her friend's deal with not wanting you to get with her? Bad female opinions can kill a man.

Your're probably going to get burned on the lie eventually, if you keep this chick around. She'll hear from someone else or you'll just muck up one day. You'll probably just have to suck it up and tell her, making sure to explain that you were afraid she'd not want to 'hang' with you if you told her your honest age. Some people find that kind of shit 'cute/adorable', others think it's pitiful and sleazy. Hope she's the former.

Geez, u really dont pull the punches.. However, i do agree with what ur sayin. And the thing with the friend is totally due to the jerk i work with. It is understandable though, as his good friend tried to get with her. The thing is, his gf told him to tell me something apparently good that her friend wanted me to know, but he didnt do it. I know this because i sat right in front of him while he was on the phone with her, and he looked me in the eyes, and said nothing. Add to that, he told his girlfriend something bad (and most likely untrue) about me, and that's part of the reason she avoids me, i think. So i guess getting a coolatta every now and then wont hurt.


And the lying thing was dumb...real dumb

On an unrelated note...a girl that i occassionally blow into town to..."hang out with" asked me if i would like to help sire her sister's child...WTF???!!!?!!

[masamuneehs]

it has been a while...

tonight was a friend's 22nd birthday, so we all go out drinking at this bar, sorta upscale place, not really my scene... Yankee game is on, just chilling, whatever.

So I wind up talking to this complete stranger, who I can tell is a little older than me, talks about work alot and whatever. But I'm totally into it, I mean, gotta slammin body and also seemed to be interested. We both drink a little and talk almost the whole time I'm at the place.

So, eventually the question comes up, what to do at the end of the night? Stranger lives around the block, it turns out, and I really am not sober enough to drive home yet. And, hell, I'm horny and this feels alright, so I agree.

We go outside, and in the streetlight I notice it, age. Like I said, slamming body, awesome legs and ass and very in shape, but you look in the face and you KNOW that this person is older. And it dawns on me yet that I haven't asked. So, I'm like, "How old are you?"

Response is, "39".

Okay. Wow. What to do! That's almost twice my age, and seeing that age in the face (no matter who you are, you're going to show it in the face, and it's just a turn off) really has me giving second thoughts. But I say, "Okay, that's fine. Yeah, I'm sure."

And we go, and it was a pretty fun time. Got awesome head, some service that I've never had before, and the sex was pretty hot too. But I just felt so nervous! Before I was shooting game, acting all casual, but upon realizing the age difference, I totally tensed up. I felt like my movements were all clumsy and slow and I could tell that I was with someone who really knew what they were doing. At one point I say, "I feel like I'm acting all tense and nervous". To which the response is, "well, you sorta are"

But mutual orgasms were had by both sides (I aim to please), and I leave. I hang out with my buddies, and IMMEDIATELY get a call, which I ignore. I have a voice mail being all, "Oh I had such a good time and I hope I can see you again. blahblahblah..."

and motherfucker called back again just as i'm getting home, and I say, "listen, I really am not much for phone." "Can I see you tomorrow again?" "...er... I dunno... I'm sorta not sure how I feel about this (YOU'RE ALMOST FORTY YEARS OLD!)... I did have fun, but..."

And so it's all awkward. This person knows the mother of a kid I went to high school with, for crying out loud! I don't know what to do... if it was around my age, I'd probably have spent the night, but... It's just too much!

(okay, had to vent, there you have it)

[rockmanj]

Way to go...Milf bagging, son (i like it!)

[Assertn]

Way to go...Milf bagging, son (i like it!)
or Dilf :eek:

[rockmanj]

Seems i kinda messed myself up again...Kinda like Dirk Nowitzki; everyone knows that he has the skills, but when it clutch time, he totally becomes a bum (a little NBA reference, for those of you that watch b-ball). Its actually affecting my sleep...Earlier tonight i met a pretty attractive chick out, by random chance, who apparently was into me (although im kinda bad at reading signs).

I know this for many reasons, the main being that she said it explicitly, and that she kept asking when i was leaving....and i totally messed it up. well not totally, but tonight is a bust for me, while her friend and my friend are probably making the beast with two backs as i type this.

This is why i never recommend going anywhere sober. Also, showering is imporant too (I didnt plan on seeing anyone today, i woke up from my hangover this afternoon, and my only plan was to get sushi, but i ran into a friend...and ended up a lil drunk, and meeting hot chicks about 9 hours later...no shower, no brushing the teeth :\ )

P.S. now, im a little bit tipsy

[masamuneehs]

yeah, the one concrete lesson you can take from that is that hygeine and presentation are a great part of game. and good hygeine has to be a habit, not just something you indulge in when you decided you want to make a good impression. you should always be ready to do that.

but i'm confused as to how exactly you blew the rest of it? Aside from not picking up on her hints, how'd you fuck up?

[rockmanj]

Actually, i didnt smell bad or anything, i just kinda felt weird about it, because i have impeccable hygeine. I was just really hung over, and rode 10 min. from my apt. to get some food, and then go back to sleep. believe me, any other time i woulda had the "axe effect" going. However, i ran into a friend of mine, and much later, a girl he met friday called him to meet up. We had no idea that she was with her firend.

But the way i messed up was, i didnt take her back to my place that night. She claims she wants to see me sometime this week, but you never know with korean girls. I guess i was just caught off guard...i played well, got to the 4th quarter, and didnt shoot the game winner. But hopefully its just game one in a series. ill just have to get with her this week, and apply the pressure (...too many sports metaphors....).

[masamuneehs]

so I'm in Monterrey Mexico to visit my sister, who is finishing up a three month program here at the University. I come down, babysit my parents for the first day and a half. Then, two nights ago, I just had to go out on my own. It was a Saturday, so there was lots of going on, and I was pretty buzzed, pretty cheaply, by around 11pm. I went to a club or two (no cover!) and didn't stick around much in any of them. I found that Mexican girls want to dance (which I'm horrible at, especially compared to the people I saw) or they have super envious boyfriends that lurk just out of the way and start trying to fight you when you end up talking to their fine girl who was sitting all by her lonesome and how the fuck was I supposed to know she was with somebody, fucko? Get out my face... (the first club concluded as such) Finally I stumble on a place called 'Parking'

I glance inside and, although it's totally deserted on the ground floor, I like the look of the place. And, since there's no cover and I'm thirsty, I figure, why not? I find there's a second floor overlooking the dance floor, and then a third floor with a whole new dance floor that had a heavy amount of people on it. There's also a porch (too hot though) and a fourth floor. I order a drink and it's good and strong. And there's some really hotties around. I find an American and we talk, but I wasn't really attracted and we split up.

I order another drink and go back to the second-floor catwalk. Instantly I see a real cutie, all alone, and I approach. I walk past and just look, catching eyes, I give the eye to be followed, get a bold look back and a nod for me to come over. I do. My Spanish is mad rusty, and English isn't really an option, but it becomes pretty obvious that both of us are really interested. I buy a round of drinks, we struggle to talk, another drink.

We were up on the top floor, because that bartender made me a strong one and I reward that with my night's worth of patronage and helps to tip the same one. Up there are some couches. After dancing a bit, we hit them, and I'm pretty immediately straddled. The hottie starts hiking up that tight ass T and I've got a flat, but toned belly shaking in my face and the shirt's up almost to the goods. We're getting looks, but well...

We make out and I'm like "I need to take you somewhere we can be alone". But, the problem is I'm sharing a room at my hotel with my sister... However, she had mentioned she might spend that night in her dorm room for one last time, but not until later (she was reading Harry Potter, and well, that can be an all-night affair of a very not sexual kind). But, hottie has something in mind and pulls me into this room I hadn't noticed on the second floor. It's dark and almost deserted, just one tired and fat guy sitting around, way out of place. He vacates as we tackle a couch and lip-tango for awhile. Some very heavy petting ensues. Another couple comes in and takes a corner and it becomes pretty obvious they're waiting for us to leave before they boldly step up. (Later, when we popped back in to see if they were done, she springs up from her knees and he goes to quickly adjust himself)

More drinks, some drunken attempts at dancing, more making out, more drinks, more dancing. We go back to the room and the couple is gone now. We take over the spot in the corner, and I get my belt undone and fly opened. About a minute into it, someone walks in. That freaks us pretty good. It's about 2 in the morning now. Something's got to give, and we head back to the hotel.

I go in alone, to find my sister asleep in the middle of chapter 27. I wake her and politely ask her if she needs a taxi to her dorm. She curses and rushes to get her things, and I see her to a cab. The room is ours and much orgasms are had (for a change I'll spare you the gory details, also on account of it going until almost 6 in the morning)

Next morning we get up, shower, and I rush to get out before my parents wake up and come a knocking or my sister gets back. I get digits and give out my e-mail (no cell on me) on some hotel stationary. We walk to the train station and hottie gets back on a train for an hour+ ride back home. I figure that's the end of it, even though I promised I'd call. I'm bad like that, I'll admit.

Flashforward to tonight. I'm getting back from dinner with my family and we're getting into the hotel around 930. Everyone's full and slightly steamed about getting railed by the taxi driver (Cinquenta pesos! Cabrone de mierda!). We're talking about how some cabbies have to be stamped out and how come none of us got his license, and sitting in a chair right next to the elevator is hottie.

I double-take and kindly excuse myself to go... er... out to... um, the store? Yeah, the store...

in the lobby I'm like "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you again!" (Aww!) "I had the hotel information, so I came. You never called me..."

"I was going to." (this is actually a truth. I was intending on calling that night, but the idea only recently became lodged in my head over dinner, when I realized I had a good thing lined up and it would be so much better for both if we did meet up again)

We walk and talk, but there's no way to do anything that really wants to get done. There's also the matter of getting home for work, a midnight train, and, well, we're not going to be doing much in my hotel room with my sister right there...

And I keep hearing "I am in love with you. You've enchanted me" (keep in mind this was in Spanish, and sounded so much more... well, just better than it seems here) "I don't want you to go back to NY." "When will you be coming back?"

Now, I've heard and seen some intense game get kicked around, but this is something else. I can't tell if this what I'm hearing is truth, or some kind of game or what. I am a firm believer AGAINST such easily declared love, and I wouldn't say that I returned the 'feeling of love' as much as it was being pressed on me. We make out in a park and talk, and I try to be reassurant that I'm interested, but not in love. (I don't sink to that level of game). Confounding all this is the very serious fact that I've been waited for in a hotel lobby for an hour, after an hour and a half train ride (and a similar commute ahead) and on the assurance that there won't be any sex tonight because of the hotel situation. All the same, "I'm in love" "Will you see me tomorrow?" (yes, at 9pm...)

so, here i am. i know there's alot of good in this, but I can't quite figure out how to play the cards. I don't want to play games and wrap someone around my finger if they earnestly feel this way about me, but I don't buy into the intensity... I think it's some kind of Mexican way of trying to get laid or of just flirting that's way too intense for my liking... Well, I'll have to face it tomorrow, one way or another...

[XanBcoo]

First an older woman and now a Hispanic hottie.

Christ, masa. Stop living my dreams and complaining about them :mad:

Edit: But seriously, good luck with that. Though I think you're right on your assumption of it just being a "Mexican thing". Part of me wants to say it's a language issue, since I know certain phrases like "te quiero" and "me encantas" don't carry the same meaning in Spanish as they do in English. The language itself can be quite expressive like that, and perhaps that's just manifested in the intensity you're picking up on??

Or she could just be a crazy clinger-girl. *shrugs*

[masamuneehs]

word, thanks for the vote of confidence xan. we meet tonight at 9pm, and I'm really looking forward to it, although their won't be any nookie... also, i'm not quite sure i'm living out your dream... :D

also, what is up with this place? Does nobody have a sex life? How about a relationship? Someone they're dating? Someone they like? ANYTHING? Maybe DF is right, Gotwoot somehow serves as a massive cockblock for almost everyone on it... Come on people, there's got to be a couple of you out there that can post in here!

[Iridani]

So many relationship problems... so little time.

Life's short, make the most of it while you can :) Although personally I've learned 99% of the "knights in shining armor" are just a bunch of idiot jerks in tinfoil. I'm still holding out for a sane guy lol

@ Masa: So... does this mean I'm cursed by GW too now? :P

[masamuneehs]

well, you're still a girl...

My one (female) friend once put it as thus: It's not fair that girls are marked as sluts if they decide they want to sleep around, be in an open relationship or whatever! Guys that do that are called 'pimps' 'players' and have a good reputation for doing exactly what girls get slammed for.

Me: 'Yeah, but at least almost all girls can get sex whenever they want. There's a sort of skill involved with being a pimp that just isn't there when you're a slut'

Girl: '...Hm... I think I know what you're getting at. For a guy to get laid he has to push and act suave and use all this effort, buying drinks, saying the right things, playing the game right... For girls, whenever we want to get fucked we can just go 'Okay boys, I'm ready!' and they'll be lining up.'

So, Iridani, no, I don't think the Gotwoot curse applies to you, or to any females. You might be dealing with tinfoil wannabe squires, but the fact of the matter is it's often very different for guys and girls.

Also, i don't think i apply for the 'getting cockblocked by Gotwoot' rule anymore... I've had two awesome nights out of the past three with the Mexican dramatist, and a final one coming up tonight... Then again, I don't think this 'curse' applies to Terra either... God only knows if it applies to Y...

[Iridani]

So many it applies to :P

Anyway... very different but a lot the same. If only people came with signs around their necks with a manual stating sanity levels and such before you even speak with them lol Might make things easier on us. Oh well! It's half the "fun"

[XanBcoo]

Here's something I could use helping with.

I'm still trying for the girl I mentioned about 2 months ago (http://forums.gotwoot.net/showthread.php?p=334229&postcount=197). I added her on Facebook, but all I can really do is talk through that (which I have been doing) since I'm in England at the moment. But I'm thinking of asking for her number when I get back. Or maybe asking if she wants to meet up on campus sometime or go eat lunch or something. Basically anything to let her know I'm interested.

[Iridani]

Here's something I could use helping with.

I'm still trying for the girl I mentioned about 2 months ago (http://forums.gotwoot.net/showthread.php?p=334229&postcount=197). I added her on Facebook, but all I can really do is talk through that (which I have been doing) since I'm in England at the moment. But I'm thinking of asking for her number when I get back. Or maybe asking if she wants to meet up on campus sometime or go eat lunch or something. Basically anything to let her know I'm interested.

Don't be thinking too long about it, things left unsaid tend to bite you in the butt later on. Take the chance and ask for the number or to go for lunch :) I mean... if you don't ask. You don't get it. Ask... she could say yes. Or no. Either way there's still A chance in there ^^

[SK]

Here's something I could use helping with.

I'm still trying for the girl I mentioned about 2 months ago (http://forums.gotwoot.net/showthread.php?p=334229&postcount=197). I added her on Facebook, but all I can really do is talk through that (which I have been doing) since I'm in England at the moment. But I'm thinking of asking for her number when I get back. Or maybe asking if she wants to meet up on campus sometime or go eat lunch or something. Basically anything to let her know I'm interested.

Yes, do let her no you're interested.

Meanwhile, SK's love life feels like shit. :confused:

[Hikyuu]

There was this girl I was hanging out a lot with from The Satanic Mechanics ( It is a rocky horror picture show group for UMD ( fuck you guys (preemptively ;D I'm already a fag :o.. ) -- ANYWAYS.. I had been hanging out with her quite a bit at group even ts and walked with her places and talk on aim a lot cheering her up through all her bf issues and whatnot.. the last show party for the season I confessed how I felt.. and she said she wasn't over her ex.. but she kinda felt For me too. Anyway she moved back to FL for the summer.. and I wont be at UMD in the fall say yay I fucked that up by waiting so long to make my move.

[Iridani]

Yeah waiting too long can make things difficult. But also knowing when to say something is a challenge. If you wait even a few minutes too long sometimes, you could be regretting it a lot longer than that few minutes of waiting.

@SK... well... stop making it feel that way and kick it into high gear! :P Don't make me hug you into it... you won't want that.

[masamuneehs]

Hikyuu, i think part of the problem is that you tried to 'put yourself next in the boy friend queue'. I've found that comforting people over a break-up is a sure fire way to NOT get with them, unless your 'comforting' involves being intimate... alot of people screw this one up, as it's natural (and good) to try to comfort someone you care about...

Xan - i'd wait to get back face-to-face. Nothing is as unimpressive as attempts to initiate a relationship or revealing your feelings over technology communication (a girl i know got asked out by a guy over facebook the other day, and she ws really put off by it). Stay in touch, but wait until you see her again, then tell her how you feel. It'd be sweet to mention how you've thought about her while you were gone, but don't overplay that, or it sounds creepy.
Getting her number online is fine though, it'll probably clue her in to how you feel, but don't make that preemptory setup move until you're almost in place to make the real one.

[darkshadow]

First an older woman and now a Hispanic hottie.

Christ, masa. Stop living my dreams and complaining about them :mad:
.....

hahahha, damn you just gave me a real good laugh.
I can't say more though, might crush your dreams ;o

[Terracosmo]

Short update on my "love" life since last time (half a year ago?):

- Had another girlfriend
- Slept with 5 additional women
- Have a new girlfriend "in progress" now, I know that she wants me but it depends a little on if I want to handle yet another relationship at this point. But then again she is part-hispanic (always liked that in a woman actually despite my pale preferences) and at the same time has dyed hair and piercings. She is incredibly pretty and nice. Also she loves X Japan and my band which are always positive points. At any rate she's gonna live her next weekend and then we'll see how it goes...

Well, not like anyone cares what I do really but I'm bored so...

[Hikyuu]

You playa you.. I thought that was your last week agenda.. I'm surprised it is spread out over half a year

[Terracosmo]

I'd like to say that's because I party less now due to work and extreme amounts of band practice, but it's probably just me getting old :(

[RyougaZell]

*suddendly feels depressed*

err... yeah...

[rockmanj]

I'm Working on a project or, two, but i'm a bit recalitrant about things, due to some wang surgery i had (due to an accident). I dont know if there's a way to explain it to her...Eh..maybe thats TMI??

[SK]

News. Well me and the girl I was with almost my entire freshman year have had our first form of communication since she found out I was transferring. Basically she got really pissed because we made out schedules to be exactly the same, made plans, all kinds of things, and I transferred schools. However, she knew the entire time I would transfer if I got accepted to the school. Anyway she sent me a message on Facebook admitting she had over reacted big time and saying she wanted me to come visit her and stuff like that.

[TruthofMistake]

News. Well me and the girl I was with almost my entire freshman year have had our first form of communication since she found out I was transferring. Basically she got really pissed because we made out schedules to be exactly the same, made plans, all kinds of things, and I transferred schools. However, she knew the entire time I would transfer if I got accepted to the school. Anyway she sent me a message on Facebook admitting she had over reacted big time and saying she wanted me to come visit her and stuff like that.

I'd recommend you don't but I really have no idea where you stand on this and my patience for women who blow up over nothing has pretty much died in the last few weeks. I really don't see that ending well though. How far away are you?

[Iridani]

Let's see what I have to contribute to this thread if anything...

Dealt with some consistent rejection from someone... met someone else through that guy... and now I'm happy. The end :P How's that? lol

[TruthofMistake]

I imagine that will be one of the few happy endings, not counting the manwhore terra, that we hear about in this thread. Kudos to you!

[rockmanj]

Geez...i really need to improve my 'closing' abilities; i get out, get to the point where its time to go, then the alcohol hits me :-\.

[Iridani]

I imagine that will be one of the few happy endings, not counting the manwhore terra, that we hear about in this thread. Kudos to you!

Lol sweet... I get kudos for being happy. I'll be alone for a while due to things but meh, that's fine with me.

[Hikyuu]

Things like being away in the Cannuckian army? . Don't worry Iri... Gotwoot will keep you company.

[Iridani]

... Depending on the kind of company you mean :P I'll be around though of course to continue harassing you. Wouldn't be the same!

[Hikyuu]

And I wont let you get away masquerading as a female when we all know your an FBI agent :D

[Iridani]

Oh yeah... I'm SO undercover... playing with my handcuffs... waiting for the time to pounce. :P Not that that has any relevence... Anyways... get talky talking about the lurve lives!

[Hikyuu]

Mine right now is non existent ;o; and I'll be going to a school thats nickname is U must be a commuter u must be Asian you must be crazy.. >> .. so yeah There wont be any real socializing on campus thus making it difficult to make any sort of bond :(

[Iridani]

Gotta love the lack of bonding that can be done. If you're lucky who knows... a chance could pop up between now and then :)

[Hikyuu]

Meh, I'm not really a go getter more of the passive wait for people to approach me in terms of relationships :o.. has to do with lack of confidence and my submissive nature

[Iridani]

I don't knock that way of going about it :P That's what I did pretty much and it's seemed to work thus far. Yay for passively waiting!

[Hikyuu]

That's cause your supposedly a girl.. Guys are supposed to do the asking :P

[Iridani]

Nothing wrong with a girl asking... It IS 2007 after all :P But yes... guys tend to be old fasioned and ask first... Then again some guys are so old fasioned they still carry clubs and grunt while dragging their knuckles.

[Hikyuu]

:p -- I've never had a girl approach me.. ;o; only guys XD

[Iridani]

xP Iiiinteresting. Hey... it's a date right? :P Lol break the drought!

[Yukimura]

Lol girls don't approach anything but free drinks and shiny things in MD.

[Iridani]

Mmmm shiny. Shiny is good. So THAT'S why men wear cufflinks :P