Terra defeats your privacy part 302: The Relationship (& luv) Thread

[Hikyuu]

That and to link their cuffs ;P

[Iridani]

But mostly because they're shiny... and attract girls with the shiny. It's a step away from attracting them with shiny jewelry such as a ring lol. That would make them all come way too fast... men would be trampled.

[Hikyuu]

Meh .. e.e I don't want girls that are materialistic.. :P

[Iridani]

:P Good. That knocks off about 75% of the female population... just find that other 25% and you'll do even better :) To the gamer stores!

[Hikyuu]

Oh god just what I need a fan gurl

[Animeniax]

Meh .. e.e I don't want girls that are materialistic.. :P
Good luck finding one of those. Though if you do manage to find one, you're lucky. I knew this lovely French chick who a lot of guys were after, but she ended up marrying this Turk who was a whiny douche. Together they made probably $150K a year in their late 20s, and she chose a used Dodge Neon instead of a brand new BMW or something fancy. She also rarely dressed up, opting for flannel and blue jeans when she would look amazing in a skirt and silk blouse. Good news is, she didn't always brush her teeth so she had bad breath, so it's not all win-win. Of course, there's an easy remedy for that. Still have to wonder why she'd marry a guy like the douche Turk though. Might be a sign of mental issues.

[Hikyuu]

Inferiority complex mayhaps? They are always fun to deal with

[Animeniax]

Who do you think has a complex: me, the French chick, or the Turk? :confused:

[Hikyuu]

Frenchy has one
EDIT: thats why she dressed like trash and married a jerk.. Difference about not brushing teeth and being materialistic.. she just didn't respect herself

[masamuneehs]

it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside of my cold black heart to hear people talk like Iridani does about finding someone... I'm sure it'll happen to Yale eventually also.

so, my love life is on total hiatus now. i've got to re-learn how to approach women... bars from two nights ago remind me that I was never very good at going after them in the first place... i also have firmly and totally come to an end conclusion on the front of that horrible 'friend who i really love but who only regards me as a friend' dilemma. so i suppose all isn't bad news...

[Death BOO Z]

I'm going through one of these phases again... same girl who was putting me down the entire past year, she gives me one hint that she 'might agree to see me' (given proper warnnings, and whatnot) and I can't stop thinking whether I should call her now, tommrow, next week and all that.
espically sad, since I'm 100% sure that when I call her, she'll turn me down again and won't agree to meet me, and then make me feel like I've done something wrong... and i'll be so mad I won't feel like doing anything else tommorow .

I feel like a train wreck about to happen, and I hate it that i can't do anything to stop myself...

[Iridani]

@Death BOO Z: If she keeps putting you down repeatedly... and hints about a maybe, take it as a flat out "no". Trust me on this... I've dealt with that schpeal for the last couple months and it can get tiresome. It's not worth your time or hers anymore than going out with a rock. Actually... you may want to choose a rock. Less rejection.

@Masa: You feel warm and fuzzy? Are you sure that's not just mould growing on that black heart? I mean... smells a bit funky in here and it might be rotton :P Bars can be both good and bad to find woman.

[masamuneehs]

@DBZ What she said.

...did I just get dissed by Iridani? what did I ever do to you? :(

so, more progress tonight on "breaking from the past". I just got off the phone with a girl I went out with when I was in Italy (see earlier in this thread, the crazy girl who wanted me to take her V-card), and alot of much needed shit got settled. I finally totally squared up and absolutely, firmly and finally turned her down. Not now, not ever. I'd been trying to give her hints for a long time (it's been over a year!) but she would still call me near every day and want to talk for almost thirty damn minutes each time about absolutely nothing. I didn't want to have to hurt her, or string her along, but it had to be done. She was a little upset, but she said she'd understand... i should probably call her tomorrow just to check in

on that note, I realized how much I hate upstanding Christian girls. I'm dating you, not the church, so stop talking to me about jesus and trying to guilt me that I don't subscribe to any organized faith! I get enough of that shit from my mom...

okay, yeah, don't get carried away... remember, good intentions... good intentions... the road to hell is paved with them... well, yeah, it was a good couple days dealing with the past, now I need to figure out the present and future...

[Iridani]

<.<; *offers Masa a hug?* I have my grumpy moments...

[Kenshiro]

This is the closest thread I could find to what would be relevant.

I think Mut's post on the main page of the website is very interesting and should be moved into General Discussion

[Iridani]

The "closet anime fan" one or something else?

[Animeniax]

Probably the "I miss my gf cause I'm whipped" thread.

[Iridani]

Aaaah yes... that one. It does belong more so in general discussion being it's not flamey :P Or in this thread itself. Blah.

[Animeniax]

It got flamey because mut got angsty because we hit the nail on the head about his co-dependency with his gf.

[masamuneehs]

it's actually about a post on the frontpage that Mut made, I believe, which talks something about his girlfriend as well, from the bit I scanned of it. And, since it's actually not part of the forums, I can't merge it here (aside from old copypasta). Mut'll post it here if he ever wants to, or you can put in your comments on the frontpage...

[Iridani]

Aaaaand watch the hammer-like comments pour into that topic...

[itadakimasu]

*sigh*
my girlfriend and I have been getting along pretty good for the past few weeks. spent most of yesterday together and everything was fine. That is.... until i got off the phone with her earlier because i was getting on the highway. a couple minutes after i get off the phone with her im doing about 80... traffic is pretty heavy, radio is up about half way when i hear my phone ringing. so i 'scramble' to find it first and answer it and it is my gf so i'm like "YEAH?" and then there is silence and im like wtf.. what do you want? after almost making me get into a car accident to answer your phonecall... i said i was sorry on the phone then and thought it was over. no. it was not and is not over.

i keep taking steps towards breaking up with her, and then we make up and its a small step back... but i dont know how long this can last if she wants to make huge deals out of nothing. i have more important things to spend my stress on.

[Assertn]

whoa...animeniax came back!

I guess I might as well finally leave a post here....
Anyway...it's annoying when girls prefer to talk via text messages...then they don't reply when you send them a message....

It's like....did they not want to talk, or do they just not have their phone with them? And then you don't want to be a bitch and send a bunch more text messages if it turns out they actually didn't want to talk afterall.

That's why I always prefer just talking in real-time.

[conquistaDan]

Hi

There is a girl in my old subdivision that is really cute and is friends with my good friend. He is also friends with the girls very good friend (who was his neighbor for years) and has known her for a long time. She also knows me, but not as well as she knows him. Anyway, the girl I like is 18 and is very pretty but, I don't really know how to go after her.

Should I
a) become friends with her and see where that goes while getting to know her?

b) use my friend and her friend to get to her somehow?

side note:I'm terrified of her dad shooting me after he finds out I'm dating her, or want to because I'm 23


what should I do?

[itadakimasu]

alot of girls like older guys... go for it ^^

don't try to be friends with her though if that isn't what you want. you need to let her know one way or another that you want to be more than just friends.


edit:

an update to my previous posts... apparantly my girlfriend 'charged up' this other girl and now the other girl is appologizing to me for acting the way she did. i feel like i've got a get out of jail free card even though i didn't do anything wrong that would constitute cheating on my girlfriend.... i cant help being attracted to other girls.

oh yes... and it is our 10th month anniversary today :)

[ChaosK]

whoa...animeniax came back!



No he didn't.

[conquistaDan]

alot of girls like older guys... go for it ^^

don't try to be friends with her though if that isn't what you want. you need to let her know one way or another that you want to be more than just friends.


edit:

an update to my previous posts... apparantly my girlfriend 'charged up' this other girl and now the other girl is appologizing to me for acting the way she did. i feel like i've got a get out of jail free card even though i didn't do anything wrong that would constitute cheating on my girlfriend.... i cant help being attracted to other girls.

oh yes... and it is our 10th month anniversary today :)




Thanks for advice. I'm meeting her this weekend.


about the being attracted to other women, I feel for you man. They're just way too many not to love out there.

[conquistaDan]

Alright well I found this thread and seriously need some advice. I don't know if this thread is closed or not, but I need some help.

Here's the deal:
About 5 months ago I was finding it hard to go to study anyplace and couldn't find one, so I went to the library down the road to see if it was done being built for some quiet alone time to read and catch up for an easy A, so I went. Well as I was down there I was checking out a book and I noticed someone walk by, who looked like a nice girl I might know. Didn't catch who it was or anything like that, but I was curious and had time, so I followed casually. As I round the corner I hear books getting stacked and stuff by one of the most hauntingly stunning girls I've seen in a long long long time, easily a 9.8-10. Well to make a long story short, heres the run down.

1)shes in my age range
2)don't know if shes single or not
3)mega crushing on her with no lines to give out to her

If anyone out there can give me advice on how to even get to a hang out point with her or something, please let me know. I have to see her again and I can't just let a girl who lives this close to me, who is this gorgeous just slip out of my grasp. Help me out guys

Moved your post into this thread. Dont resurrect old threads when there aore other threads available to you. And also, control your hormones. What're you 13?

-Assassin

[Phoenix20578]

Bump


Well, I'm in a relationship of some type right now. I met her last year at work. So for a while we were just friends. Then a few months ago, we started hanging out a lot more. Like we started goin to clubs together, getting food, doin the random call shit, and all that good stuff. Then one day a few weeks ago, I asked her if she liked me and if we were goin out. She basically danced around the answer and just said she doesn't like going out with co-workers, which answered nothing. So for the past few weeks we've been the same as before. We've been hanging out, and I havent brought it up since last month. I really dont know what I should do at this point. I've really fallin for her, otherwise I never would've dealt with ant bs, but I am starting to get tired of this.

Ok, just an update at this point. I did end up getting together offially with this girl. So for about 6 months we were unoffial and for 2 we were. Note the past tense. I found out mid may that she cheated on me with her ex, who she was still hungover on. Now she's having a kid, and I stopped caring at this point. Though, its hard being alone again :(

[RedX1z]

Think of it as dodging a bullet. If it was going to happen, then better early on, then later on at the point where you'd probably end up in deeper shit and that's when you'd really not be able to do anything.

Try not to think about it, move on, and just enjoy the times to comes. It's not like she'll be the last, right?

[XanBcoo]

Bump'in

So it's now 7 months after I made this post (http://forums.gotwoot.net/showthread.php?p=344607&postcount=219), which is 9 months after I intended to take any action, and I finally got around to asking that girl to have lunch with me last week after not having seen her since last May. It was pretty cool! I met up with her at a Chipotle and we ended up talking for like 45 minutes after we were done eating. I've been talking to her a lot on AIM recently and I guess things might be looking kinda good??

I really have no idea what I'm doing.

[Assassin]

i'll say one thing...if you wanna get anywhere, get off aim and get on the phone. digital conversations lead no where, fast.....believe me.

[rockmanj]

i'll say one thing...if you wanna get anywhere, get off aim and get on the phone. digital conversations lead no where, fast.....believe me.


Hmm...I don't know about that, but that might be due to the different culture that I live in now. ; as it is easier to understand written words than spoken if a language barrier exists; plus, I'm not a fan of phone conversations; i prefer to use the phone to make appointments only.

[masamuneehs]

disagree with Assassin also. you don't want to be dependent on any type of non-personal communication, but phone isn't always better than the web. bottom line is, keep going and getting together and, yeh, hopefully things will work out

[Assassin]

screw you hippies!

[rockmanj]

I'm sorry if you prefer to have long and deep conversations on the phone. I mean this may have something to do with it
, otherwise i'd be pretty gay).. But, yea, face-to-face is the best way, because if you waste all that time on the phone, you might run out of shit to talk about when and if you do meet.

[XanBcoo]

But, yea, face-to-face is the best way, because if you waste all that time on the phone, you might run out of shit to talk about when and if you do meet.
Currently working on this. Phone would definitely be nice, but of course I'm gonna shoot for actual meetings here.

Thanks for the words, dudes.

[Phoenix20578]

Accual meeting are the best if you wanna get with this girl. Try going and doing something you both like. If shes never bowled, you both can go and you can laugh at how much you both suck. Seriously, when I sucked I did this and it was a great night.

And remember, if you can think of anything to say, bitch about the weather. It will always lead somewhere. ;)

[Assassin]

well, i just got rejected by this girl i like. i told her how i felt and she told me she didn't like me in that way (oh, how i loathe that phrase). pretty bummed out rite now...this is probably the only girl i've really cared about in like 5 years....the type of person i could see myself with 10 years down the road. But hey, atleast she thinks im a really super awesome guy.....>_>.

guess for now life remains a bitch. just thought i'd let you all know.

[XanBcoo]

Do you know what you did wrong? Try to use this as a learning experience.

Maybe you came on too strong, or didn't come on strong enough at the start of it and quickly fell into the "friend zone".

[Assassin]

did wrong? does not looking like george clooney count as my fault? if so, then thats probably it.

I definitely wasn't in the friend zone, since i only started talking to her a few days ago....as as for coming on too strong or not strong enough, i just told her how i felt. dunno if thats too strong.

[joker-kun]

well, i just got rejected by this girl i like. i told her how i felt and she told me she didn't like me in that way (oh, how i loathe that phrase). pretty bummed out rite now...this is probably the only girl i've really cared about in like 5 years....the type of person i could see myself with 10 years down the road. But hey, atleast she thinks im a really super awesome guy.....>_>.

guess for now life remains a bitch. just thought i'd let you all know.

LOL... those two together Assassin... that sucks.

Translation: I don't mind hanging out with you, but i'd never date you.

And if you've only started talking for a few days, and you told her how you "feel"... you might need to work on that? But hey, you're my elder, what do I know:rolleyes:

[Abdula]

Goddamn you people fail.


this is probably the only girl i've really cared about in like 5 years....the type of person i could see myself with 10 years down the road.


i only started talking to her a few days ago....as as for coming on too strong or not strong enough, i just told her how i felt. dunno if thats too strong.

You don't see something wrong with this. Are all you people that pathetic.

Anyway despite what you want or think not everything works out the way you want it to. I give you props for being honest and up front thats the way to go but dude you only just starting talking to her a few days ago. What the hell are you thinking. I could try to give you advice but for it to work I would have to know the two of you personally and since I don't it would probably be futile.

Every girl is different you just have to find out what works, but the first thing you gotta do is figure out whether this girl is worth it or not. Honestly if not looking like George Clooney is the problem then you shouldn't even bother pursuing her because there is nothing there. You're an intelligent guy you should be able to figure this out, its just a game atleast for now.

[XanBcoo]

Yeah, Abdula said it all before I could. You screwed up kinda bad.

If you only became friends with her a few days ago, then "telling her your feelings" was definitely the wrong move. Girls like guys to be up-front and confident, but think it's creepy when you come on too quickly and openly. Joker-kun's translation is pretty accurate.

It's like how girls see someone getting flowers from a secret admirer in romantic movies, but when it actually happens to them in real life, they're one odd glance away from calling the police.

What you need to remember is that it's your job to attract her, not for you to suddenly become the luckiest guy and have her reciprocate strong feelings after only a week of knowing her. That's unrealistic, and probably set of warning signals of obsessive behavior. Your goal is to be the guy she wants to be with. Get to know her, let her know the interesting and intelligent person that you are. If there's a connection, then run with it. If not, then let it go and move on.


Goddamn you people fail.
Shut the fuck up. I hate all the "I'm so much better than the rest of you" bullshit that new members come to this forum with. Thanks for indicting the rest of us because of Assassin's screw up, sparky. I didn't realize we were such pathetic losers. No really. Thank you.

Edit for below: Oh Jesus Fuck, it's a fact!! A FACT! I better get my ass out of my room and join you in the darkness Abdula before my life starts failing any harder!!!

[Abdula]

Off topic but just how long does it take before I'm no longer considered a "new" member and its not that I'm better than you guys it just that you do indeed fail, its a fact. I don't mind giving advice infact I would love to but as I said I have to know them, if not then I may just end up giving bad advice and making the entire situation worse.

Secondly when it comes to relationships I'm of the opinion that if "you" can't make it work then its not even worth trying because although I understand that some people may need help and everyone could use some good advice but ultimately a relationship is and should always be about two people.

[Assassin]

i probably should've clarified....i didn't just meet her. i've known her for a few months now, but i had stopped talking to her about a month or so after we met.....then about a week back i started talking to her again. i'd always thought she was cute, i just didn't like her till recently....i figured i'd just tell her strait up how i felt and avoid unnecessary games.

Also before someone starts thinking i fell madly in love with her in a matter of days, when i said "someone i could see myself with 10 years later", i meant that she's the type of girl i'd consider a long term relationship with. i very rarely meet someone who im interested in for any reason other then looks.

@abdula: that george clooney comment was a joke.....i dont know why she's not interested, and for all i know that 'spark' isn't there....such things can't be helped.

Edit: i should probably also clarify this, since everyone seems to assume im an idiot. I didn't exaclty blurt out "omg i luv uu" or anything. We were talking about something and i subtly implied that i liked her. Then there was some back and forth about whether i could handle a girl like her etc, which i assumed (incorrectly) to be flirting.....i didnt actually say it till a couple of days later (earlier tonite) when she brought it up again.

[Abdula]

Sounds like a workable situation. If its so rare that you meet someone you are interested in then you should still go for it atleast if you are still interested.

[darkshadow]

Off topic but just how long does it take before I'm no longer considered a "new" member

Lol, you will forever be a newbie :o

[Death BOO Z]

the moment you change your avatar so we won't think as you as "the new guy with the gaara avatar"..

also, not exactly realtionship related, but still:
During the past two years, I didn't speak with my officer or my crew about my private life, and now they've started trying to fix me up with random girls in the base. Should I consider this a phase that they're going through, or should I clearify to them to stay out of my private life before I bust their skulls open and leave them to dry out in Gaza?

[Abdula]

So what of my first 3 avatars? Anyway it sounds like harmless good natured fun and you'll probably enjoy it so let them go through their phase.

[rockmanj]

Depends...how do these base girls look? Are you given any prior notice, or do they just tell you to show up at a certain time and place? And Abdula had another avatar? I dont remember it..

[Phoenix20578]

During the past two years, I didn't speak with my officer or my crew about my private life, and now they've started trying to fix me up with random girls in the base. Should I consider this a phase that they're going through, or should I clearify to them to stay out of my private life before I bust their skulls open and leave them to dry out in Gaza?

Ignoring the Abdula arguement that has nothing to do with the point of this thread.

Well, if its upsetting you that much, I'd say tell them that your not interested in anything like that right now. If they insist on continuing, then you bach their heads in and leave them for the vultures in Gaza lol.

[docdan63]

Man I haven't been on this thread in a while. I have a lot to talk about. But for the sake of taking up everyones time on one post, I'm going to spread it out in a couple of posts. I recently got into the whole Facebook thing. It's not bad after you meet people you actually know and get a decent network going. I hated it for while though. Anyway. My best buddy (who is awesome with the ladies and recently became single) told me to give it a shot and see if I could find any girls on there in my area I could get to know. So I did. Well long story short he found me a really hot girl who would totally be my type (like I said he's a good friend) well the girl sent me a friend request and started talking to me on the chat. That was Thursday night. Now I don't know what to do about it. Everyone I ask says I shouldn't talk to her that much and just let time go by for a few days then get back to her and ask her to something. The way she looks is kind of messing with my head. I'm thinking I'll just play it cool and not come on too strong.

[rockmanj]

Geez...this is a bit annoying. So about a week and a half ago I hook up with this chick ( a friend of a girl 2 of my friends went on 1 date with each, and they both hate her, pretty much)...anyway, I didn't bolt out after, and we actually talked for hours afterward and then went to breakfast, and she kept emphasizing that she really wanted to keep in contact, and liked me, blah, blah...Cut to Friday, after talking and texting all week, and she had convinced me to come see her (which I really shouldn't have, because I had to work Saturday morning). And, as the bus arrives to the area where she lives, she sends a text saying that she has a headache....meet next time, blah blah (WTF??!!) , and then refuses to answer her phone or any subsequent messages.

And my plan B later that night fucked up too....i'm pretty sure whats going on, but its so stupid...chicks here love to lie instead of tell you what's really happening. Therefore, my friend (also having troubles) and I have decided to play fire with fire, and start treating these women without dignity they way the do us. I mean, its only fair, right?

[Xrlderek]

I went with my cousin and his friend yesterday night, for a car trip. He neglected to tell me that the driver was 16 and didn't have a drivers license(didn't know this until later, yes, he seemed older than he was). Anyway, he seemed to know what he was doing so I thought it'd be fine. Up until we were 2 cm from the railing on one side of the road in 150 km/h that is. At one point I asked him: "You know where those photobox(not sure what they're called in English) things are, right?" and he's like "lolol yes ofc".
*flash*
140 km/h in a 60 zone. Not that it's a problem for me though, but that was kind of stupid. This is where the post goes into relationship instead. I mainly went with them because I knew we'd be visiting this really hot 15-16 year old girl. She's home for several weeks at a time alone, so she often lets them in at night. Oh and she made us food, is cute, has braces, is very cute. Anyway, she seemed really nice and everything, I talked a little with her, not much though, but just as much as everyone else.

And then she implies "Ok, I was slightly annoyed when you came, but now that you're here, you might as well stay"(to everyone that is). But my cousins friend is driving the car, so I don't really have a say in this. Then he says:
"Oh well, PES 08 is waiting for us, lets bounce lol" So we head home, I hardly know her name, and I'm leaving for three weeks to a place on a small halfisland(or whatever it's called) to build a house with my family. No internet connectivity, almost no phone either, living in a caravan(sp?)(it's called camping wagon in Norwegian, you probably get what I mean) And in order to meet her again I'll have to join them again I guess, and I'm not sure I want to. Or I could just stop by anyway, or get her phonenumber. Her house is like a 10 minutes to walk from here. I kind of regret not just staying there in the first place, but that wouldn't work well, considering my cousin was staying at my house that night. I really don't know.

[darkshadow]

go to her place, right now.
Prepare what you are going to say to her though, don't come across as some creepy guy.

[masamuneehs]

edit: fucking retarded and didn't see that the above post was weeks ago. fucking subscribed threads FTL.

can't believe i'm going to say this, but,

i agree with darkshadow. go back out there and talk to her a bit. it's going to be awkward, because if you're going back out there just to talk, she'll know right away that you're into her. so be ready to get slammed. but, better to try and lose than never try and always be a loser. just tell her that you think she's cool, that you'd like to hang out sometime maybe, and that you wanted to get in touch with her somehow. don't look to hang around too long. just go, say what you have to say, get the digits, and say, 'alright, see ya'

now...

masa was an idiot and got involved with someone (a guy? a girl? can you guess?) during work orientation. now, getting involved with someone from your company is a bad idea anyway, but we're the same age, the same position, just different postings. so all we had was one week of training together. i could tell i had a bit of a head-case on my hands, but i felt almost responsible after feelings started coming out, like i wanted to help, ya know?

so, yeah, we talk on the phone a bunch of nights over the past two months, but we're a 4 hour train ride (and $150 train ticket, each way) away. but, of course, i'd said during training that i'd visit. we weren't in a relationship. i made it clear, if i can't see you often, i'm not staying exclusive, especially not for someone i've only known a week. but how we were talking on the phone, and from what i was told, it was almost like we were still in a relationship anyway.

so i coughed up the dough to visit up near Tokyo, and, well, it was fucking garbage. i felt almost no chemistry, and our personalities really clashed. i'm not a party animal, but, on a weekend, with a festival going on in town, and i've traveled, i don't really expect to sit around doing just about nothing the whole time.

so, hundreds of dollars later, i'm back in my town, and i'll be laying low for the next week or so simply because i need to save up money again. still, it was good to get it done, and much better than going for months with a pseudo long distance relationship only to discover at the end that it'd never work out.

so, yeah, once again, if you can't be there with a person, it's not worth being in a relationship.

[David75]

Yeah, reality is better anyway.
Masa shows a part of the thing: Get Real the quickest you can.

At first you may be shy, unsure, you may have doubts and so on. But the rule of thumb is: do not decide for the other party!
You never know what the other party thinks about you so go ahead and try! Being stuck in fear of the judgment of the other party is the worst case scenario. Moreover, who are to to think you're superior enough to know what will happen and what someone else thinks...?

Really, when you ask, with dry mouth, unsure and so on... these are amongst the best moments you'll ever experience in your life. Do not pass the chance, try for yourself. That moment when everything is possible, when you're on the edge... well that's really incredible.
And no matter what experience you have, each time, when it counts at least, it's the same excitment and fear you have to overcome.

But always: the sooner the better. Following that rule, Masa would have spared something like 300 bucks that could have been used in nice meals with another girl ;) but at least it was experience, not that bad I'd say.

Really, for the ones filled with fear, you really never know what others think about you and how they see you. So "Just Do it"