Naruto Script!

[LobsterMagnet]

Okay guys here's a fun game I think someone suggested. So lets take a crack at it to pass the time as we so patiently await the return of real naruto. I'm going to start off a script and who ever feels inclinded to do so continue it on in what ever direction you like. Anything goes since I want to see if any crap we throw in can outdo the fillers in terms of quality.

The sun shines brightly on the leaf village as a the dawn of a new day begins. But little do the shinobi of konoah know that a dark shadow looms in the distant. While the villages number 1 hyper active ninja naruto prepares to eat is daily portion of ramen

Naruto: I'm hungry. It's time for me to get some breakfast so I can continue my training to become the next hokage. Oh look who is that over there? It's Sakura.

Naruto deviates from walking over to the ramen stand and walks over to greet Sakura

Naruto: Hello Sakura-chan. Your looking very nice today, you want to come and help me with my training today?

Sakura: Nope I'm sorry, I can't I have to buy some flowers to and spend three hours praying at the shrine. If I keep this up maybe just maybe sasuke will came back.

An embittered and sexually frustrated naruto walks away. With his hormones raging. Then suddenly a huge explosion rocks the village and a troop of big breasted female samurai walk in from the clearing dust

Take it any direction you see fit. I'm curious to see what you guys do with this kind of opening. Remember anything goes.

[ChaosK]

hey, u stole my shakespeare analogy with the 1000 monkeys and...oh nevermind...

an add on

naruto: HENGE!
naruto changes into an older sasuke and all the girls run up to him, the end.

[Divinity]

Jiraiya watches from atop of a building. He hears the rumbling sound and takes out his telescope to have a good look. Zoomed in so far, all he saw was a black spot. As he zooms out, He suddenly gets excited.....

Jiraiya: WHOA!!! So big!! (play Fooling Mode song from soundtrack 2)

Jiraiya's eyes turns to hearts.

Tsunade: Jiraiya whats that noise?

Jiraiya: I hit the jackpot! Oh and there are so many!!!

Tsunade: Huh?

Tsunade takes a look to the left to see all the big breasted female samurai that walked in. She begins to get mad and you see the X-like vein mark on the top right of her head.

Tsunade: JIRAIYA!! Now's not the time! (smacks Jiraiya.)

[Assertn]

it soon comes to the viewer's attention that this village of Konoah is actually a bizzarro version of the Konoha village, complete with the same named/looking characters. However, as the dark shadow looms closer to the village, a gateway is about to be unlocked, connecting the two dimensions together for the first time in 10,000 years.

[LobsterMagnet]

And the big breasted samurai girls reveal thier true identities, as the bizzaro versions of all the leaf village female ninjas! And since their so evil that is why their breasts are far larger then their normal counter parts. They have developed a lethal new taijutsu where they use their enlarge breasts to combat the leaf village ninja. An epic battle between the forces of depravity and decency is about to begin.

[ChaosK]

the girls run around town demanding sex, all the guys give in and fall powerless after the rough sex.

[Divinity]

Tsunade demands hot sex from Jiraiya and then all of a sudden Tsunade turns old again showing wrinkled tits and Jiraiya gets completely disgusted and runs for his life.

[Splash!]

Tsunade: Well! That takes care of that, now its time to handle these samurais. Something must be done!
(Shizune shows up)
Shizune: Tsunade sama, what are we to do? With all these female samurais doing our men, they have no strength left for us.
Tsunade: Thats not good at all !!
(Sakura shows up dragging an elder looking version on Sasuke to Tsunade by the neck)
Sasuke:AAAAAGGH! *cough* Sakura chan, let go!!
Sakura: No i won't. Now transform back , you idiot!
(Sasuke transforms into Naruto)
Sakura: (to Tsunade) Sensei, maybe Naruto can help us solve this little crisis. My ugly face may not be very helpful in bringing the men back to the women of Konoha but Naruto has a technique that might help us, the Sexy Jutsu

[The Heretic Azazel]

Nevermind this post..

[LobsterMagnet]

Tsunande: We most stop this threat immedietly for the future of the leaf village is at stake! If these intruders should continue to distract our men then there is no chance for the leaf village ninja to reproduce. WIth no successor generation the leaf village will die out. That is why we must stop these big breasted samurai once and for all to preserve our future.

Tsunande summons naruto to her office

Tsunande: Naruto I never thought I'd see this day come. We need your to use your harem no jutsu to save our village.

naruto transforms using his harem no justu and confronts the evil big breasted samurai woman

Naruto: we challenge you to a wet t-shirt contest!

[Carnage]

The opponents say no, naruto ends up resanganing everything in his path, and somehow dumbass ends up the victor.


The End.




Or is it? Next time: Enter that fat fuck whos as usless as Sakura(if thats possible) dattebyo!!!

[Dunpar]

ahhh man i was hoping to add to the harem no justu..... o whelllll.....damm..

naritor" a bright day shines on the village of konoha........whell whats left of it......"(play the fooling music)::women are draging there "beat" ment to there homes in streachers....including one Sakura draging a only slitley scrashed Naruto.....

Naruto: Aaaaa... after all the big breasted women saw you beat me...... thay all left me alone.......(crying) WHY DID YOU DO THAT SAKURA.....WHY.....
Sakura: Simple... becouse if im not geting any from the REAL Sasuke the i dont see why Sasuke's form should get some...
Naruto:ahhhhhh...... maby you just want to be with m...(sakura beats the living shit out of naruto)....e......
(kakashi is seen on a street pole in front of the group.......)

[Jadugar]

@Dunpar : You can easily qualify fot the job of those 1000 monkeys.

[LobsterMagnet]

Didn't think it was humanly possible but I believe we've produced something worse then the fillers, sigh.

[Carnage]

Then, suddenly, out of nowhere comes out this fat man with a bucket of KFC in his hands and a Ii/expressions/heart.gifGeorge Lucas hat on top of his chubby head. He yells for help:

Fat man: " Help! Anakin has killed the youngins! Anakin has killed the youngins!"
Naruto: " OMG! NO! REALLY?!!!?!?!?"
Fat man: "Yes you stuppid little shit! Now comeon! We have to go save Anakin from turning into Darth Vader!"
Naruto: " Dont worry, fatass! I'll help u out dattebyoooooo!
Fat man: " Great! but can we stop by KFC first? I need more chicken!"
Naruto:" Fine! But this will proably turn out into one of those 4 year old toilet jokes! But what the hell! Lets do it!"

They both run to KFC, eat, do a toilet joke scene, and leave to save anakin. They both Approach Anakin:

Fatman: " NOOOOOOOO! ANAKIN! Dont Turn to the dark side!"
Anakin: "Who the fuck are you?????"

Suddenly Anakin Skywalker attempts to choke Naruto, but suddenly there is an uber plot hole and Naruto escapes with fart jokes. Then Naruto naruto slaps Anakin, calls him bitch, and does his 1000yrs of pain attack which somehow defeats Anakin (fucking plot holes). The day is saved, the fatman goes back to his basement to memorize that weirdo language from startrek, and Naruto goes back to his Ramen shop to make fart jokes.


The End.

Next time: Naruto hits puberty! Oh No! Not more Fart Jokes!!!!!i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif

Edit: This thread has potential, someone make a post dammit!

[shinta|hikari]

Then all of a sudden, Hinata appears and undresses in front of Naruto at the ramen shop, saying *take me, now*, but Naruto refuses, at the same admitting to all of Konoha that he is in fact in love with sasuke, and has only gone after sakura in the past to make him jealous.
Sasuke - I... I didnt know...
Naruto - What? Sasuke, you are back!
Sasuke - yes, I heard your confession, and I decided to leave my pimp oro and go back to have it out with you.
Naruto - oh thank you great Hokage!!
Tsunade - heh what is it?

then all of a sudden, the kyuubi awakens and rips out of naruto, With narutos blood, guts, and gas spilling everywhere, sasuke walks into the sunset, back into oros arms.

The kyuubi then molests all the little kids in konoha still in ninja school.

[Carnage]

Then Naruto wakes up realizing that was just a shitty dream. Okay, here's where his day really starts:

Naruto: OMG!
Sakura: What is it?
Naruto: Im going to go and save Sasuke today dattebyoooooooooooo!
Sakura: i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gifREALLY? ILL COME TOO!
Naruto: No, u suck..........ass

Naruto heads off when suddenly....

Naruto: Where the hell am I gonna find Sasuke?
*Finds a map suspiciously on the floor with a note next to it saying "For Naruto" and picks it up
Naruto: ZOMG! ITS A MAP FROM WHERE IM STANDING TO SASUKE
*walks his way to the "x" on the shitty map in his hand

Naruto: Its so dark in here....where am I?
*lights come on
ZOMG.....ITS CHUCK NORRIS!!!!







NARUTO RUNS FOR HIS LIFE!

Next time: ENTER THE TELLITUBBY OF DOOM!

[KoKo37]

Naruto is able to run away, then hides behind a rock. Chuck Norris is talking to a friend or something and while hes talking Naruto grabs a a paddle he found and hits Chuck Norris when he wasn't looking and steals his wallet.

http://img393.imageshack.us/img393/3208/chucknorrisgettinghitbyapaddle.gif


Then Chuck Norris's friends starts chasing after Naruto, but trips on a nail and dies. Then Naruto runs some more trying to get to Sasuke but then Chuck comes back and starts beating up Naruto and then does some werid super move and throws Naruto backflipping into a tree and then Chucks wallet falls out of his pocket and he goes flying into a lake.
>>> Click here to see it <<< ( to big to host -.-" ) (http://treeflip.ytmnd.com/)


After beating Naruto, Chuck getings into a car with a girl but the girl wants to drive, so Chuck knocks the girl out and drives away. ( couldn't crop the image without wrecking the movie part for some reason -.- )

http://img178.imageshack.us/img178/8565/chuckhitsagirl6ni.gif


Then Naruto wakes up in some water and Sasuke is in front of him saying how cool he is and stuff, so Naruto gets angry and punchs Sasuke. Sasuke dies.

http://img178.imageshack.us/img178/2898/sasukegetsowned5nt.gif

Then Naruto walks away and meets up with Gai's team and then Idiana Jones sends a bunch of boulders down the mountain and they all get owned. ( like 30 kb too much for imageshack to upload -.-", though it has music like this )
>>> Click Here to see it <<< (http://narutocantstoprocks.ytmnd.com/)


The End.

[ChaosK]

i could deal with everything before this post but koko37 what the fuck was that besides a bunch of .gif animations and some pictures?

naruto appears inside oro's lair and walks in to find sakura there.
naruto: SAKURA CHAN! HOW'D U GET HERE!
sakura: sasuke kkun called me to be a whore! i'm so happy!
naruto: ....umm i had sasuke make that call, he said he'd have sex with you only after i told him u were good
sakura: really? well okay then!

OMFGSUPERHXOTCRAZYUBxERXHASDFSEXX!!!@#!@$!@%$#@%

naruto: that was fun
sakura: where's sasuke kun?
naruto: how should i know? ino walked in while we were doing it.
sakura: I DID YOU FOR NOTHING?!
naruto: i'm sure he'll have a 3 sum.

sakura walks in to find....

A SUPER BIG FUCKING ORGY!
OMFGSUPERHOXTSEXXORXGY!!@#!@$!#@%143751235

sakura dies of over-exertion, only naruto and sasuke survive and naruto makes out with sasuke for the rest of the night.

then, kakashi wakes up
kakashi: what the fuck was that all about?

[Carnage]

Then kakashi finds Iruka next to him in his bed and comits suicide.

[Mr Squiggles]

And then Kakashi wakes up again... *sigh*

Meanwhile, in the far away Forest of Dark Secrets, the dark lord Shinbun, master of illusions and dreams, starts cackling maniacly:
'Soon, soon I will finally be able to get revenge on the konoha ninja who for some lame reason only worthy of a filler I hate! But until then, I shall keep inflicting strange dreams upon them. Also, please note that I have some vague ties to Itachi or Orochimaru so now naruto can come after me."

[LobsterMagnet]

Finally things are getting interesting

Lord Shinbun stares into his crystal ball. Because I am Orchimaro's mother's sister's inlaws godson I shall ensure the secret behind oros hidden mansion stays a secret because I overheard him talking about it at the annual family picknick gathering. Using my advanced genjutsu techniques I shall look into the hearts of konoaha greatest ninja's in order to use their heart's darkest desires against them. But first go out my generic cannofodder ninja and attack the village! Before my minions arrive at the leaf villiages gates I will ensure that each of the elite jounin are taken out of commision using my fuwimaka-no-justsu technique to mentally destroy them.

"Lord Shinbun gazes into his crystal ball and he sees Gai, he recoils as he is given privledge to gai's innermost thoughts. He sees gai sitting in a dark room while rock lee in a g-string dances suggestively upon a thin metal pole. Upon seeing this lord Shinbun uses his advanced super secrete genjustsu technique to alter the dream. Gai looks startled as rock lee changes into ten ten."

"Next he pears into the mind of Asuma Sartobi and sees him happily laying on a grassy field smoking a large cigarr. Lord Shinbun activites his jutsu and transports Asuma to a dark cold city in another dimension NEW YORK CITY. Asume finds himself sourrounded by hundreds of anti smoking activits and horrible Truth advertisments his beloved cigar is ripped from his mouth and doused with water. He can only scream in horror as his greatest pleasure is taken away from him."

[Divinity]

A perverted ninja sneaks into Konoha.

"Sex Possession No Jutsu!"

Kurenai is affected by this jutsu and suddenly has the urge for some hot stuff. The ninja rapes her and there's nothing Asuma can do because he is in NYC.

[Carnage]

Originally posted by: Divinity
A perverted ninja sneaks into Konoha.

"Sex Possession No Jutsu!"

Kurenai is affected by this jutsu and suddenly has the urge for some hot stuff. The ninja rapes her and there's nothing Asuma can do because he is in NYC.

I wish you could make a comic for us * With specific details plz*

[darkmetal505]

Originally posted by: Divinity
A perverted ninja sneaks into Konoha.

"Sex Possession No Jutsu!"

Kurenai is affected by this jutsu and suddenly has the urge for some hot stuff. The ninja rapes her and there's nothing Asuma can do because he is in NYC.

jeez.... thats just not right... i dont know what to say to you

[LobsterMagnet]

Damn you people just when this damn thread was starting to have some promise. Take is somewhat seriously!

[sevyfez]

lol its turning into some sorta hentai!!!

[Terracosmo]

http://valethcosmo.free.fr/Forum/omfgkimi.jpg

[bagandscalpel]

"Sex Possession No Jutsu"??!!

Surely you meant:

"KINJUTSU, GEDOU-NO-IN"!!!

(this is for all of those who actually bothered reading the WHOLE translation of the Narutimate Hero 2 "filler")
(good God, even THAT was better than the anime fillers...)

[Terracosmo]

There's a translation for that? I'll have to read it, it looked pretty damn lame though.

[Divinity]

Originally posted by: bagandscalpel
"Sex Possession No Jutsu"??!!

Surely you meant:

"KINJUTSU, GEDOU-NO-IN"!!!

(this is for all of those who actually bothered reading the WHOLE translation of the Narutimate Hero 2 "filler")
(good God, even THAT was better than the anime fillers...)

I don't know japanese =\

[infamous]

Then Lord Shinbun stares into his crystal ball again and he goes in to the Sakura thoughts. She is thinking about how she can get Sasuke to finally accepted her and be as one together. Shinbun takes advantage of this and makes her realize that she is useless and will never be like by Sasuke. Also that she should stop being a little bi*tch. After having this epiphany she kills her self and every one is finally relived of her burden and annoyance

Edit: it had to be done

[xDarkMaster]

Originally posted by: infamous
Then Lord Shinbun stares into his crystal ball again and he goes in to the Sakura thoughts. She is thinking about how she can get Sasuke to finally accepted her and be as one together. Shinbun takes advantage of this and makes her realize that she is useless and will never be like by Sasuke. Also that she should stop being a little bi*tch. After having this epiphany she kills her self and every one is finally relived of her burden and annoyance

Edit: it had to be done

OMG FINALLY!

[bagandscalpel]

At the time, Orochimaru, realizing that his feelings for Sasuke weren't mutually accepted by the object of his affection, devises a plan to improve the relations between him and his young charge.

Using the Edo Tensei, he "resurrects" Sakura in an attempt to curry favor with Sasuke.

[Mr Squiggles]

Sasuke, however, was nearly starving because Orochimaru was putting him on a diet. And so when Oro raised Sakura from the dead, Sasuke slit her throat, and roasted her over a pitfire, leaving nothing but bones. After the good meal, Sasuke resumed his training.

*Hurray!*

[Divinity]

Meanwhile in Konoha village, Tsunade assigns Kakashi and Naruto on a two-man mission to the country of waves. Signs that Zabuza actually DIDN'T die. He fooled everyone else ONCE again. Haku also NEVER DIED. Kakashi and Naruto couldn't believe this.

"Kakashi-sensei... I thought... Zabuza died?" asked Naruto. "Yes... I don't know what's going on. We need to investiage this." answered Kakashi, "You ready Naruto? This will be dangerous, but I believe in you."

Naruto excited as always went o nthe misson with Kakashi. They finally reached the country of waves and what shocked them the most was that all the villages were burnt and destroyed. Many many corpses all over the ground. "Careful Naruto." said Kakashi.

"Kakashi. Why did you come here?" asked a voice. "Ugh, that voice, is it... Zabuza??!?" asked Kakashi. "I've finally accomplished my dream. To destroy the country of waves and take over it. Now I need someone to test my new powers on. How about it Kakashi... The Copy Ninja!" said Zabuza. There was something wrong with the way he looked this time. His skin had a more darker tone and his eyes were reddish. "The demon inside of me kept me alive Kakashi, I can't die until I have done what I need. It seems that brat is still with you. He should be happy to see an old face. Come out Haku."

"Yes Zabuza." answered Haku. Naruto couldn't believe it. "HAKU!!" tears dripped down from Naruto's eyes. "I thought you were.... Dead.." "Naruto... Why are you crying... This time... I'm going to kill you. You better be ready." She.. I mean HE then begins to charge at Naruto and knees him right in the gut. "UGHHHH!!! AHHHHH" Naruto flys across the ground with blood splatting out of his mouth.

The Fight BEGINS! FILLER EPISODE: ZABUZA AND HAKU, IS IT REALLY THEM?

[Carnage]

It turns out its not really them, blah blah blah, Naruton uses resangan, blah blah blah, end of story.

The next day Naruto goes into the ramen shop when suddenly,

SOMEONE THROWS GUM ON THE SIDE WALK! THIS IS A JOB FOR...................CAPATAIN PLANET!
T
*song: Captain Planet, hes our hero! Goooonna taaake polution DOWN TO ZERO! THE POWER IS YOURS!*

The planeteers arive to save teh day/ pick up and throw out the gum!

Fire Planeteer (i dont know thier names so Im going to refer them by their powers):

"NARUTO! WE NEED YOUR HELP!"

Bitchy Wind Planeteer: George Bush is destroying all the wild life and forests in the corner of Oregon!

Annoying faggoty Indian Planeteer: We need you to help us save the forest and defeat George Bush!

Naruto: I'm wasting my time with these other fillers, so why not!?!

*they fly over to Oregon*

Bitchy Asian chick: Theres the forest! We must travel through it and get to the President who is in a super duper random building all the way on the otherside of this forest!

Earth Planeteer: Right on brotha!

Meanwhile, George Bush is tracking the gang.....

GW: HAHA! HAHAHAHA! HA! THEY DONT KNOW THAT I HAVE A SPY TRACKING THEM! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! I WILL SEND TRAPS AND OTHER STUFFZ TO TAKE THEM OUT! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

As the gang is walking through the forest, A BOULDER COMES FROM OUT OF THE SKY!

WTF!

The gang dodges it and run for cover into a cave......dum dum dum (build up the supsensei/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif)

Then, they find a bomb in the cave. So they run out and jump dramaticly into the air as the bomb explodes!
































BOOOOOOOOOOM!












Earth Planeteer: How did GW know we were in the cave!?!?

Naruto: Condoms?

Fire Planeteer: What?

Naruto: What?

Indian kid: What?

Naruto: What?



Swedish chick (Wind Planeteer): There must be be a spy tracking us!

They go through the forest, encounter more traps, Naruto uses resangan, blah blah blah, they arrive at the building.

GW: You have done well to get this far, but NOW IT ENDS!

BEEEp!

CHUCK NORRIS BREAKS THROUGH FROM THE CEILING!

OH NOOOES!

THE PLANETEERSCALL FOR CAPTAIN PLANET!:

FIRE!

WIND!

WATER!

EARTH!

HEART!

CAPTAIN PLANET!

Captain Planet battles Chuck and gets owned.

Naruto: OH NOOOOES!

Then Naruto uses his new plot hole super move! SUPER FART RESANGAN!

Chuck: OH NOOOOOES!

Chuck gets owned.

Bush: OH NOOOOOOES! *escapes in escape pod*

Annoying Indian faggot: It looks like this mission was a succes! But I wonder who the spy was!

Suddenly, the monkey jumps off the Indian kids shoulder and reveals him to be both THE SPY AND THE MASTERMIND ALL ALONG! OH NOOOOOOES!

The monkey transforms into King Kong and there is an uber battle.

In the end, Only Naruto, the asian chick, and the swedish chick survive.

They all go back to Naruto's place to have a super orgy.


THE END

[Divinity]

And unfortunately God#2's post didn't make the cut and was not added in the script.

THE END.

[Carnage]

Then someone else bought the script and made billions of dollars. HAH!

[Mr Squiggles]

It turns out that "someone else" is actually Naruto. But meanwhile, The dark lord Shinbun, angry that his show has been stolen punches Naruto in the crotch, and takes all his money before he has the chance to deposit it in a bank. Oh, and Shinbun's secret Shield-of-illusions-no-jutsu makes him immune to rasengan's And shadow clones. But wait, that makes Naruto completly useless since that's his only two moves! dun-dun-DUN!!!!!